If I’d Known

by Rebecca Donovan

  Vic breathes out audibly, like he can't believe he has to repeat himself. "This is a fucking joke. I don't know why you won't drop it. Nothing happened."

  At least he's persistent with the nothing-happened story. I have to give him that. And I'm not going to contradict it. If I do, everyone in the car could be considered accomplices after the fact. And I won't let that happen. Right now, only Vic and I know what went down in that store. And we're the only ones who will ever know. Unless he does something else stupid.

  Nina approaches us with a hip-swaying saunter. The dark purple dress hugs her curves perfectly as she balances on heels that bring her to supermodel height. She looks completely unfazed by everything that just transpired. A lethal goddess.

  If only I were that composed ... and tall.

  "Screw this," Gary declares loudly. "Nina, let's go."

  Nina shakes her head with an insincere apology. "Sorry, baby. I'm staying."

  "But you said--"

  "I lied," she interrupts.

  Gary growls, furious. "Don't bother showing up tomorrow."

  Nina doesn't flinch.

  Before any of us can react, Gary is in the car, reversing with the gas pedal pressed to the floor. Joey jumps out of the way to avoid getting clipped. Shifting to drive, Gary tears off down the street, covering us in a spray of gravel.

  Waving my hand to clear the dust storm, I watch the taillights disappear in disbelief. "What the hell?! My bag's in his car."

  Which means my house keys are too. I reach into my open jacket pocket, relieved to find I still have my phone and switchblade.

  "I can't believe he just left us here." Tori has her hands on her hips. Looking around the dark, deserted road, she asks, "Where are we?"

  "I think we're still a few miles away." Lincoln lifts his hand as if to touch her back, then stops himself and lowers it.

  "There's no way I'm walking in these," she says, gesturing to her knee-high boots. She whips around and points a bladed nail at Vic. "Why do you have to be such an asshole? I swear--"

  "What? She's the one who held the gun to my head." Vic jerks his chin aggressively toward Nina. "I didn't do anything wrong."

  "Except have a gun to begin with!" Tori screams, her curls flailing.

  "I brought it for protection," Vic argues.

  "From us? You're fucking unbelievable."

  Nina wraps an arm around Tori's shoulders, coaxing her away before it can escalate further. I turn my back to them, needing to escape the drama.

  "You okay?" Joey asks, coming up beside me.

  "Not even a little," I reply, taking a few steps toward the edge of the road.

  He slips his arm around my waist, easing my back against him to shield me from everyone behind us. Tucking his thumb into the top of my shorts, he rests his chin on the top of my head. "Let's work on that. What do you think?"

  I laugh lightly. "Go for it. Anything you can do to make this night better, I'm in." But I already feel better leaning into him. I'm convinced I could block out bombs going off--all he has to do is touch me and whisper in my ear.

  I'm suddenly spun around, Joey's hands firmly gripping my hips. As aggressive as the move was, his lips don't crash down on mine. Instead they tease, barely touch. I'm breathless. I grab him by the back of the neck to pull him into me.

  "Joey, give your brother a call. Maybe he can send someone to pick us up."

  Yup. We're still not alone.

  I ease away, my breath caught in my chest. I look around to find everyone staring at us.

  Tori tilts her head to the side, not amused. "Stop groping her and get us a ride."

  "There isn't a signal at The Point," Joey tells them.

  Lincoln releases a heavy breath. "Shit, that's right."

  "So what do we do?" I ask. I turn at the sound of a car approaching.

  "Screw this," Tori says, striding out past the white line and halfway into the lane with her hip thrust out.

  The headlights illuminate her fitted black shorts and sheer top over a hot-pink bra. She waves her arms in the air. They're either going to hit her or ...

  They swerve, missing her, and then slow to a stop along the side of the road.

  "Nice," Lincoln says, impressed.

  Actually, so am I.

  The red pickup truck backs up, braking a few feet away.

  "How do we know they're not psychos?" I ask.

  "We don't," Tori says. "But we have our own psycho, so if anything, they should be worried." She looks toward Vic. Except he's not here. "Where'd our psycho go?"

  "Vic!" Lincoln calls out.

  But he doesn't appear from within the shadows of the trees where he was sulking only a moment ago.

  The driver's window rolls down, and a guy with super gelled dark blond hair leans out. "Need a lift?"

  Lincoln steps forward. "Yeah, man, that'd be great. Our ride ditched us. We're trying to get to The Point."

  "Us too!" a voice squeals excitedly.

  That's when I notice the girl with a hot-pink bobbed wig sticking her head out the small window in the back of the cab. Her face is speckled with glitter, and she's smiling so big, she's making my cheeks hurt looking at her.

  "You can jump in the back," the guy tells us.

  Lincoln looks around again as we near the truck. "Vic!"

  "Leave him," Nina says, pulling out a bottle from her satchel of a purse. She approaches the passenger side and waves the liquor at the girl. "Can I sit up here with you?"

  "Sure!" the girl exclaims. "Wow. You're so nice. Look, Seth, she's sharing with us." She scoots over to make room for Nina. "I'm Allie."

  "Great," Nina replies. She tips the bottle back and chugs, preparing herself to sit next to the happiest girl on the planet.

  Joey and Lincoln lower the tailgate and hop into the back before offering to help Tori and me up.

  Just as Lincoln reaches to close it again, Vic's fingers curl around the metal, forcing it back down. "Hey!"

  "Where were you?" Lincoln asks him in alarm. "Didn't you hear me calling you?"

  "What the hell, man? Were you going to leave me?" Vic jumps up onto the truck and shoves Lincoln.

  Joey leaps forward to get between them. "Don't start." His voice is low and authoritative.

  No one moves. Joey looks between the two guys. Their eyes lock, silently challenging each other.

  "Sit down."

  Lincoln backs away and sits, resting against the cab without taking his eyes off Vic. Joey lowers himself beside me, prepared to jump back up if necessary. Vic stands defiantly, glaring at Lincoln with his fists clenched.

  "Vic, sit your ass down," I tell him.

  He directs his attention to me, trying to intimidate me with his scary stare. I roll my eyes. He grabs the edge of the tailgate to close it.

  Tori knocks on the window. "We can go."

  Vic stumbles and falls on his ass when the truck takes off. I snicker. If only he'd fallen out.

  Chapter Seven

  "Don't lose yourself to anyone," my aunt Allison says to me, lying on her bed, staring up at the ceiling with a funny-smelling cigarette dangling between her fingers, "not a boy or a friend or even your family. You can't care what anyone thinks of you, Lana, because as soon as you do, you're lost."

  Joey leans back against the cab and eases me onto his lap. "I like you here."

  "I like me here too," I admit, relaxing against his chest.

  "How are you doing now?" he asks, his breath tickling my neck.

  "Better." I smile.

  He smiles back, revealing the dimple. I lean over and kiss it. I can't help myself. Joey turns his head and his lips barely brush across mine. Shooting stars surge through my entire body.

  He hasn't truly kissed me yet, and the anticipation is causing my pulse to beat erratically. Seriously, I need ten minutes ... twenty alone with him and we'll both be soaring. All the crazy that's happened tonight will instantly be forgotten.

  Joey presses his forehead against mine. "What do you thin
k about starting over? You know, have tonight start right now?"

  "I think I like that," is released within a breath.

  Joey caresses my cheek with his thumb, eliciting a shiver.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I notice big blue eyes right next to my head. I lean back to find Allie's face poking through the cab window, her chin resting on her hand, staring at us dreamily.

  "You two are so cute."

  Tori snorts loudly. I flip her the finger.

  "Here." Allie offers me the nearly depleted bottle of liquor.

  I take it from her, down a shot and pass it off. I've been waiting for the buzz to kick in, to mellow me out. But this night has been anything but chill. Hopefully it will finally overtake me when we get to The Point.

  "You guys know that The Point parties are exclusive, right?" Joey announces to everyone in the bed of the truck. "We're not really supposed to have access, so keep it between us. Okay?" He focuses on Vic, receiving an affirming grunt in return.

  "Of course," Tori assures him.

  "We won't say anything," I promise. "How do people usually get on the list?"

  "All I know is that everyone on the list has to be approved. I'm not sure how they request to get on it. But they have to pay crazy money for the privilege, basically ensuring their silence, or else they're blackballed--which, in this group, is social suicide."

  "How do they find out about the parties?" I ask.

  I've been dying to go since I first found out about The Point parties two years ago. We've only ever heard whispers after they've happened--the secrecy heightening my obsession.

  "Everyone on the list receives a text with a code on it. When they sign in, the location is revealed along with a bar code that gets them in. They can pay to bring up to six of their friends." As an afterthought, Joey adds, "Oh, phones aren't allowed inside. You have to check them in as you enter."

  "Who came up with this? It's insane," I ask, impressed.

  "No one knows. The organizers don't want anyone knowing their identities so they can't be influenced, or busted. This isn't exactly legal," Joey explains. "I heard they've expanded it to six different spots in three towns. I think they're trying to make it a legit business."

  Tori eyes him suspiciously. "How do you know so much about it?"

  Joey only shrugs with a grin that convinces me he knows someone involved.

  I sink back against the side of the truck, groaning. "Wait. How much does it cost to get in? I don't have a ton of money on me." I can't waste my tip money on a party, not if I want to keep our lights on.

  "You're with me tonight," Joey says, taking hold of my hand. "Don't worry about it."

  "You sure?" I ask, uncomfortable with him paying.

  "Very." Joey pulls me closer to him and lowers his voice, his mouth next to my ear. "But this isn't our first date, Lana. I want to save that for another night, okay? Because I definitely want to see you again."

  It sounds like a line. I should totally blow him off like I do any other guy who tries too hard. Except it doesn't feel like a line. Everything about him makes my heart race, causing me to do and say things I never would.

  I press my lips together to hide the huge smile that wants to explode onto my face. "I want to see you again too." I am so pathetic tonight.

  We pull through the open gates of the chain-link fence a few minutes later, entering The Point--which is a collection of old brick factory buildings and warehouses in the middle of nowhere. Some of the buildings are abandoned. Others have businesses in them. It's hard to tell the difference because they all look like they should be torn down.

  The truck stops at the first building. "We'll let you off here since we have to park out back."

  "Thanks for the ride," Lincoln tells him as Nina gets out of the cab and shuts the door.

  "Not a problem."

  "We'll look for you inside." Allie pops out of the open window and sits on the door. "Love you guys!" She remains hanging out of the truck when Seth pulls away, thrusting her arms in the air and screaming in excitement.

  "What is she on?" Tori asks.

  "Sunshine and fucking rainbows," Nina says, grabbing the bottle away from Lincoln.

  I laugh.

  "Girl talk," Tori says to Joey and Lincoln.

  They nod in understanding and start walking down the alley between the first and second buildings. Vic remains behind us ... somewhere. I should probably be more aware of where he is. I should also be more afraid of him than I am. But I'm not.

  Tori nudges me with her shoulder to get my attention. "About earlier ... I know how weird you can get about keeping your mouth shut, especially if you think it might take us down too. I won't ask. But know you have nothing to worry about. Okay?"

  "We've got you," Nina pledges, passing me the bottle. "And I'll get your bag from Gary tomorrow because you know he can't fire me."

  I look between her and Tori. "Thanks."

  "Now what's up with you and Joey?" Nina asks giddily.

  "I'm not sure," I answer honestly. "But whatever it is, it's ... intense. I can't explain it."

  "Yeah. Anyone within ten feet of you two can smell the intensity." Tori shoots me a side-eyed look loaded with judgment. She takes the bottle from me.

  "Ew, Tori," Nina says with a laugh.

  "Stop. I'm not going to hook up with him. But let me have a little fun, okay?" I implore.

  Tori lifts a shoulder in resignation.

  "Speaking of fun"--I reach into my pocket and pull out the plastic bag--"look what I got us for tonight. It only cost me ... well, nothing."

  Nina squeals. "Let me see." She examines the bag in her palm. "There's a little of everything in here. They sell it like this?"

  "They call it, 'party in a bag.'"

  "That's kind of a stupid and genius name at the same time," she says, pulling the seal apart and selecting a tiny foil square labeled with a smiling mushroom sticker. "Do you trust them?"

  "Can you really trust anyone with a pocketful of drugs?"

  "True," Nina replies. "Well, here goes nothing." She chews the chocolate and swallows. "Let the party begin."

  "Don't get lost on your trip," Tori tells Nina, taking the bag from her. She removes the small blue pill with an X stamped on it before handing the bag back to me.

  I inspect the contents, select the brown powder capsule of Molly and toss it back with a swig from the bottle, finally starting to feel the mellowing effects of the alcohol.

  "This night is going to be ridiculous!" Nina exclaims, thrusting her arms in the air with an exaggerated sway of her hips.

  "Now how do we get rid of Psycho?" I tip my head slightly in Vic's direction.

  "We'll lose him inside," Tori assures me. "But don't go anywhere alone. I don't trust him."

  Joey and Lincoln have stopped at the end of the next building, waiting for us.

  "It's insane how much he looks like Parker." Nina scans Joey, eyeing him like he's candy.

  "Which is why I'm a little creeped out about you two together," Tori says to me. "But I'll lay off, I promise."

  Tori hands Lincoln the bottle when we reach them. The guys finish off the last of it and toss it in a dumpster across the alley.

  I notice a group of people enter a blue door farther down.

  "Is that where we're going?" Nina asks.

  "Yeah, that's our entrance," Joey tells us.

  "There's more than one?" I'm still trying to wrap my head around this setup.

  "They don't want lines outside to give away the location, so there are five entrances, and everyone's given a block of time to show up. They also need to keep us hidden from the cops."

  "You seriously know a lot about this for someone who's never been," Tori notes, studying him warily.

  Joey doesn't respond.

  When we reach the door, Joey takes my hand. "I don't want to lose you."

  I give him a gentle squeeze back, not planning on being lost.

  The door cracks open, revealing a hint of the bro
ad figure behind it. Joey releases my hand long enough to pull out his phone and bring up the code. The guy scans it with another phone, and the image disappears.

  "How many?"

  "Five."

  "Six," Vic corrects him.

  Joey's back stiffens. It's the first time I've seen him react to Vic or any of the fucked-up-ed-ness that's happened tonight.

  Joey shakes his head in annoyance and says, "Six."

  The door opens and we're ushered into a tight hallway. The guy locks the outside door behind us.

  "Phones." The guy holds out a black plastic bag.

  Reluctantly, I drop mine inside, followed by everyone else. He hands a token to Joey, who slips it into his front pocket.

  "Hands," the doorman demands.

  Joey holds out his hand, turning it over. The guy presses a stamp against the back of his wrist. I do the same, letting him brand me with ultraviolet ink.

  Once he's marked everyone, he unlocks the black door at the other end of the hallway and silently holds it open. The whole man-of-a-few-words thing he has going on is intimidating. It could also be the six-ish feet of bulging muscle. I doubt anyone's stupid enough to mess with him. And just as the thought enters my head, Vic tries to push past us, practically knocking me over.

  The doorman shoves him against the wall. "Cut the shit or you're out."

  Joey's hands are on my waist, steadying me. "You okay?"

  I nod.

  "Vic, stay the fuck away from us," Nina threatens.

  We move past him, his dark eyes following us as we enter a dimly lit stairwell. A giant pink neon arrow points up, so we do as instructed and climb the stairs. I feel the bass pounding above us before I can hear the music. On the next level, a green neon star marks a red door. As soon as Joey opens it, we're engulfed by electronic beats and lasers cutting across the room.

  We step inside. The door falls shut behind us as we stare in wordless wonder. I've never been to anything like this before. I can't move for a minute, needing to take it all in. The entire space is surrounded by large screens, displaying images and colors pulsing to the music. The DJ is at the far end on an elevated stage--a bouncing silhouette between a lit booth and a wall of screens. It's what I imagine a club in Vegas or LA would be like. And to think they set this up for one night in an abandoned building is beyond insane.

  "I can't believe I'm here," I utter in awe.

  Everywhere I look, people are dancing, even along the mezzanine that wraps around the upper level.