Love Notes ((Book Two of the Heartbeat Series))

by Renee Lee Fisher

  My phone sounded and I looked at the screen to see another text from Rand –

  Just in case I didn’t make myself clear, I LOVE YOU!!!

  I typed out –

  Got it, loud and clear and my feelings are the same.

  There was another light tap on the bathroom door. Now who was this?

  “Madison, are you getting dressed? You have a visitor. I invited them in for coffee.”

  “Mom I will be right out.” I was wondering if a neighbor stopped in, that had to be who it was. I pulled on some fresh smelling warm ups and ached in every movement just getting myself dressed. I swept the sides of my hair back into a loose hair tie to cover the baldness on the back of my head. Not that it did, but from the front I looked normal without a huge chunk of hair missing and a long line of stitches. I slipped into my flip flop slippers and headed down the stairs to the kitchen. I had to take the steps one at a time as my ribs stabbed back at me with each movement. I was three steps from the bottom when a male voice spoke to me and extended his hand to steady me and help me. It was Connor.

  “Madison, I was out jogging and heard from Thomas that you were staying back here at your house. He told me the address and said to jog on by and say hello. Plus he said you make great coffee although I didn’t expect any in your condition.”

  “I’m surprised to see you, come on in. We can have a cup on the deck.”

  I introduced my mother and uncle to Connor and told them he and I met the night before I got hit in the park. I explained he was a new acquaintance of mine and actually he was Thomas’s coworker and friend. My mother smiled and she and my uncle were going to run some errands. Before she left she commented on all of the handsome men in my life. I laughed at that but then clenched my waist as my ribs shot pain through me. It was so wonderful having her near me especially in the hospital knowing my mother was back in my life. We missed out on a lot of precious time in the past, but now we were surely going to make the most of all our time together. Inside my heart was smiling.

  “Well, Connor help yourself, I see my mother made coffee and has many homemade goodies here too.”

  “Madison is this okay that I stopped by here unannounced?”

  “Well I am surprised, but yes it’s fine as I am happy to have the company, first though I have to ask you, I heard in the bar when I first met you that the guys called you Cabe what’s that about?”

  “Actually Madison my full name is Connor Allen Benjamin Evans so I was nicknamed Cabe early on, but we all have our pasts. I just go by Connor now, trying to forget what I did while I was Cabe, but enough about me, tell me about the accident. What happened?”

  I began to tell him all that I remembered. I did tell him thank you for the flowers as I remembered reading a card from him in the pile of all the cards that my mother brought in a basket back here to the house. On each card or note she wrote what they sent me, if it was flowers and what kind. She really is so thorough. I now see where I get it from. After our conversation about the hospital stay we went into another direction.

  “I know I only briefly met you before this happened, but I wanted to tell you that I think Thomas was a very foolish guy to walk from you.”

  “Well he did and we all move on. I guess he shared with you that I am engaged to Rand.” I flashed my ring.

  “Wow! He sure knows how to make a statement. That there is an impressive ring. Looks like that man is really in love.”

  “Have you ever loved anyone?” I asked Connor out of curiosity.

  “I’ve loved two girls,” and he laughed.

  “What?” I had to know this story.

  “One was my sister that you remind me of and the other well, I had a girl, the best girl long ago. Her name was Avery, and she truly loved me. I know she did and I screwed up. I cheated on her. We had a disagreement and I left and hooked up with the first girl I picked up.”

  “Connor you can talk to me, if I can help I will, or I can at least be a good listener.” I smiled trying to boost what seemed to be a snag in his self esteem as I once was left feeling very low.

  I heard the doorbell, and although my getting up was slow, I excused myself and told Connor I would be right back. I got to the front door and Cecile had a pile of things for me to work on and review. She was getting my book, Rock Notes, out there and keeping me busy in the process. She said she had to get going quickly as she had a meeting and hugged me gently and told me she would call me later. I set the pile of my writings on the key table near the front door. As she left down the driveway with her back toward me, I glanced to see Connor coming in and he stared out the door past me.

  “Hey, Connor that was my agent Cecile, she dropped some work for me to look over, she had a meeting or I would have introduced you both, next time I will as she is a super girl.” I realized he probably hadn’t heard a thing I said. I waved my hand in front of his face as he was in a daze.

  “Oh, sorry, it’s just she so reminds me of someone I once knew.”

  As I shut the door, I asked if he wanted another cup of coffee and he did and we continued our conversation out back. What had begun with Connor coming over that day followed with more new conversations with him, as he was always checking in to see that I was okay. I guess we had become friends and I wanted to share this with Rand each time we talked or sent a text but I didn’t want him to think it was more that a friendship. I decided I would tell him on his next return home.

  The most recent conversation that I had with Connor he really started to open up, he said, “I can never take back what happened when I stormed out from my girlfriend Avery’s apartment. I went and drank too much, I smashed my car and hurt a random girl that I just picked up. I got a DUI and a bad reputation. The worst part is, the other girl meant nothing, it was just I was angry and hurt by my girlfriend and I acted out in the wrong way.” I could see the anguish on his face that this still hurt in telling me this as if it just happened. I realized while he spoke to me that I never had a brother or sister growing up and suddenly I think this is how it must feel when a sibling shares their thoughts and moments with you.

  “Connor we all have messed up. At least you realized you did wrong and you have a lifetime to make it right.”

  “Madison I only hope I can this time around.”

  I thought that I knew for Connor this would pass one day in the future as it had for me and now I was getting myself much better from my most recent life setback. I wanted to get back to my home now with Rand and let my mother and Jake have their space. My life was suddenly so full of people that were concerned about me every moment. My concern though was for Jillian and how she was recovering. Jillian was back in her condo moving about as best as she could, we chatted often. I think the fact that we could have lost one another we didn’t want to miss time together anymore. I also needed my daily Rand fix. I got so excited with every call, text or thought of him. Today I woke up feeling really good, no head pain, just heart pain from missing him. I reached for my phone and held it to my chest for a moment.

  Rand, I’m heading back to your home today, I meant our home. I miss you. Everyone has been so helpful in my recovery. Cecile has been keeping me busy with my book and I am looking forward to getting back to writing my Love Notes to pass the time till you are near.

  Madison, I wish I was right there with you. I will be soon. Please take it easy and be careful. Invite Cecile to come stay at the house with you or even Jillian so you have company until I can be the only one in your presence. All I think of is you. And I hope I am the inspiration of these Love Notes. Killjoy will hit me with her drum sticks if I don’t say hello to you from her…Ouch!

  I like your idea of having the girls over, this may be fun. I will even tell them you suggested it.

  Love, spend some time with them because when I return I am not letting you out from under me for a long time. By the way Raeford is hanging his head real low, I know he’s feeling very sad. I tried to start up some conversations but he is even quieter if you
can imagine that.

  I’m sure it will take time with Jillian and him and what they almost had, but hopefully they will be strong and make it work between them. She really cares for him. He shuts her out though. Don’t you ever shut me out I am in your life like forever now.

  Madison, first you are mine and definitely you are my forever.

  Chapter Seven – Girls Night In

  It didn’t take me too long to dial their phones and I wasn’t going to take no as an answer. I told them I wanted them to come for a day, a night or the week and it would be our girl’s night in.

  “Okay, so Jillian, Rand suggested that you and Cecile come stay with me. I know it sounds like an old version of a slumber party but it will be fun. I know you’re not back to work so pack some things, and I’ll pick you up.”

  “Madison I can’t think of anything better. This will be fun. Come get me now. I’m climbing these walls already!”

  “Girl, you sound like you are overdue for friend time. Let me give Cecile a holler and I’ll be picking you up in a little while.”

  “Thank you Maddy, I need this, to be with friends now.”

  As soon as Jillian was on board I dialed Cecile. “Cecile, listen I am heading to get Jillian and bring her to stay with me for a few days, I want you to come here as well. Pack some things, and get here soon. I should be about two hours.”

  “Madison, count me in! I’ll stop and get some food for us tonight. I need to talk with you both about Kent and maybe you can give me some advice.”

  “Cecile I’ll see you in a bit, food, drink, girl talks…can’t wait.”

  What a great suggestion this was from Rand. Here we were, us three girls, all together having simple “fun”. Each of us dressed in our best sweat pants and cami tops except for Jillian who cut her sweat pants off to make them shorts for her cast. But we were just glad to be around each other. I let out a moan when the first bite of the cheese quesadilla hit my lips. Cecile was spot on in bring us a huge selection of Mexican food. I decided to make a batch of frozen Mojitos to wash it down.

  “So ladies here we are, all three of us without our men…funny we are all in relationships with the band boys.”

  “Madison, Raeford and I are…I don’t know what anymore. I try to talk to him and he hardly says a word. There are too many pregnant pauses in our conversations lately. I know I lost the baby, our baby, I feel I let him down. He says he let me down. We can’t get past that in our talking.”

  “Jillian, he’ll come around, Rand has been talking to him too lately.”

  Cecile broke into our conversation about Raeford asking, “Madison, by the way who was the hunk guy I saw at your house the last time I dropped by? I saw him out on the back deck. He looked really hot but I only got the backside view.”

  “Oh, that was Connor he is actually a friend of Thomas’s. He lives close by and we’ve become friends lately, I think he needs a shoulder to cry on. He really screwed up his past with a girlfriend. If you weren’t with Kent right now I would surely introduce you.”

  “I will pass, and keep Kent. He and I are getting along great I just have to see how long he can hold out to have me sexually. I mean we do stuff, but haven’t done “it” yet. He says I am keeping him satisfied but I wonder.” Cecile was blushing as she spoke.

  I had to let out a laugh and Jillian followed me with busting out a laugh and we both had tears in our eyes. I still couldn’t fathom how this beautiful, bright, bouncing babe Cecile was still a virgin.

  “Hey don’t laugh at me…I once almost went all the way with a guy I loved, he was my world. I got cold feet and he took off for a roll in the bed with a random girl.” Cecile pouted.

  “Sorry Cecile, I didn’t mean to laugh. You and Kent will get there! He likes you and I can see you like him every time you’re around him. When it’s right you will be jumping his awesome body for sure.”

  “Thanks Madison, I just feel sometimes inadequate in the bedroom area as I haven’t had experience going all the way.”

  “Cecile, I remember when I was first with Raeford, although I was with other men before, it was so different, he was so romantic and serious. I wasn’t sure how sex would be with him. But I will tell you girlfriend it is freaking awesome!” Jillian shared and then slowly licked her lips and smiled.

  “Well girls, I am not going to kiss and tell about Rand and I.” I made the gesture that I sealed my lips and threw away the key.

  “Oh come on Madison tell us something juicy! We live vicariously through your incredible life with the hunk singer,” Jillian requested.

  Just when I was about to give them one small juicy bit from a moment Rand and I shared, I heard the doorbell chime.

  “Well, saved by the bell! Cecile since you’re up do you mind seeing who’s there?” I asked her.

  I was finishing pouring us another round of frozen Mojitos this time adding an extra pour of rum as we all were staying here and wouldn’t be driving or leaving any time soon. As I went back toward the kitchen I caught Cecile’s face of shock as she stood in the front hallway.

  “Cecile you’re scaring me, who was at the door?” I asked nervously.

  “Well it’s a very handsome, sexy looking older version of Rand and he is still out on the front porch and wants to talk with you Madison.”

  “What?” I was now a bit tense.

  I passed her and went to the door and as I peered out, yes most definitely I was looking into the deep blue eyes of an older fine-looking man. It was unbelievable as he looked like Rand only much older. I took a step out the front door to the porch, “May I help you?” I asked him.

  “Madison Tierney, you are lovelier in person. I used followed your newspaper column. I am Paul Rand, Max’s father.”

  The moment he told me who he was I felt happy for Rand that he came here to see him, but then suddenly I felt something horrible settle in my stomach. “Paul, Rand is not here, he is on tour for a few weeks. I’ll be happy to tell him you stopped by.”

  “Actually Madison I stopped here knowing he was on tour.”

  “I don’t think I follow you?”

  “I came to talk with you if you would be so kind to give me a few moments of your time.”

  I hollered back into the house to the girls that I would be back inside in a few minutes. They were already laughing so surely they were not missing me in their conversation. “So what do you need to talk to me about?”

  “Madison can we sit a moment together out here on the porch?”

  I nodded to him and we sat across from one another on the porch chairs. I was glad he did not suggest we go inside because I knew Rand would not want him stepping a toe into the door of his home. I stared at him for a moment taking in how he looked like Rand, or that this would be how Rand would age. I knew in the years ahead Rand would still turn the ladies’ heads.

  “Well I read recently a few things. First about the horrible accident you were in. I hope you are getting better.”

  “It was pretty awful but I am getting back to normal finally.”

  “I also see that congratulations are due as I read you and my son are engaged?”

  “Yes, we are. Although we haven’t set a date.”

  “Well a beautiful girl he has gotten himself!”

  “Thank you Mr. Rand, but I feel a bit uncomfortable talking to you while Rand is not here as this is his home.”

  “Madison, please call me Paul and I don’t mean to make you uneasy. May I ask why do you call my son Rand?”

  For a moment I was taking in the kindness in his words and although I felt odd sitting here with him it wasn’t like he was a stalker or bad man, his only faults were bad in the sense he left his family.

  “I have always called him Rand. But Paul, I really need you to tell me why you have come here.”

  “Madison I have watched my son for many years. I have watched him on the internet and heard him play. I will share with you that I left because, in our family, it seems to be a curse to venture into the m
usic industry.”

  “What do you mean a curse?”

  “Well I came here to see you to warn you. My parents were both up and coming singers and they finally got a break in a nightclub and the first evening they were to perform to a packed crowd. They were killed in an auto accident as they drove to their debut. I was an only child. It destroyed me to have them taken from me. Although I know accidents happen, it seemed to reoccur years later.”

  “I know it is none of my business why you and Rand haven’t talked but don’t you think you should share this with him?”

  “Madison please let me continue as I may not get another chance with you to tell you. Years later I met Angela, my beautiful wife, my love and mother our twins Max and Ashley. Angela knew how my parents died and promised me that music would not invade our family. She knew I was scared that something bad would happen again. My wife Angela and her brother Maxwell dove into the music business and along with them, they brought my son Max even though I protested all the way to having him in that career.”

  “Paul he is a very talented singer and musician. You should be proud of him.”

  “Madison, my being proud of him comes with a price, the price of life. His music that became so important that again, it took loved ones away from me. My wife Angela got sick with cancer and then after one show, my daughter Ashley was suddenly and tragically taken. I don’t think anyone will understand that I can’t be a part of this and see more people die, see my son die.”

  “Paul it is just a coincidence. Being a musician or a dentist, whatever your occupation is doesn’t necessarily make horrible things occur.”

  “Madison when I read you were almost killed recently I realized it seemed more like destiny. If you could only get him to get out of the music business then perhaps good things would happen for you both, not tragic.”

  “Paul I won’t ask Rand to leave his music. Wonderful things have occurred as a result of the music, we met one another because of his being in the band.”

  “Madison I don’t want to take up more time, I just wanted to come see you and share with you why I can’t be with my son. I am not a horrible man, I am just horrified by what has been taken from me, so many that I loved and the one constant thing that tied them all together was music.”