Beautiful Wreck

by Kasey Lane

  He pulled back just slightly and slid her body down his own until she stood.

  “I’m going to take you inside, then I’m going to make love to you all night, little one.”

  “Why? I thought we were done. I thought it was all over after McNeil was caught.”

  He nodded.

  “Well? He’s caught, Bowen. It’s over. That was the deal.”

  He reached forward and slid his finger across her check, catching a loose lock of hair and tucking it behind her ear. “That’s still the deal. But I need more. Just one more night. I’m not ready to be done. Not yet. Give me tonight and then we can go back to our lives.”

  “But…”

  “One more night. Then we’ll figure out how we go back to the way it was. Back to when we were just friends.” He said the words like he actually knew what the hell he was talking about. Clearly, he was talking out his ass because this little sarcastic woman had embedded herself into his life and he was afraid there would be no going back to just being friends.

  *

  “I’m never going to forget you,” Bowen said as he ran his fingers through Gabby’s hair an hour later.

  She laughed and slugged him playfully on the shoulder. “Of course you won’t. We’ll still see each other all the time.”

  “Are you coming to the show next week?” he asked referring to Manix Curse’s one and only public, but secret, practice show before he went on tour with them. Joining Manix on tour for even a few weeks excited and terrified him. He used to love performing in front of a crowd, how it made him feel ten feet tall and invincible. But if he’d learned anything over the last few months, he was anything but invincible.

  “Of course. I wouldn’t miss it for anything,” she said and laid her head down on his chest where she seemed to fit perfectly as she began drawing shapes absentmindedly on his abdomen.

  “You going with Ella and Jami?”

  “No. Ella will be home with the twins and Jami is going early with Jax. I’ll probably go with Roland.”

  He bristled. Fuck that. That dude was a loser and he wasn’t getting his manicured ladyfingers on Bowen’s woman. “I’ll take you. We can go to dinner first.”

  She scooted up and looked down at him. “Don’t be stupid. You have to work and then you’ll need to go straight to the club to set up.”

  “They have a crew now to do all that.”

  “The roadies aren’t going to play for you, pretty boy.”

  She was right. He did need to set up his bass and amps. It would be irresponsible to trust someone else to do that. Also, he could use as much practice time with the band as he could get.

  “We could still go together. I could be your designated driver.”

  “Now you’re just being weird. When have you ever seen me drink anything heavier than a diet soda? Besides, I’m not dating Roland or anything. I mean, I’m still lying here in bed with you, aren’t I?”

  “I don’t like that guy.” His voice sounded petulant even to him.

  “Well he’s my friend and co-worker. I do like him. And you’re not my bodyguard.” She slid back down on him where he couldn’t see her face, couldn’t decipher what was going through that busy brain of hers. “We’ll be fine, Bowen. It’ll be okay. I know I’m going to see you with other women and I’ll just have to deal with it,” she said quietly, like she was trying to convince herself as much as him. And he didn’t like it. Not one bit.

  “Yeah. I guess.” But just the thought of seeing her with another man made his blood boil. He wanted her to be happy, wanted her to go out and meet a man who could give her the kind of life she deserved. Not some broken-ass former wino and man whore like him. But he couldn’t help wanting to be her protector. He couldn’t imagine anyone else understanding Gabby like he did—her fierce independence, her open sensuality, her complexity. “I know you’ll date and stuff, right?”

  “Of course. You helped me get past my discomfort around men…and finally get rid of my damn V-card.” She turned her head and kissed his nipple. “Thank you for that.” She was still for a moment but he could tell she wanted to say more. So he waited her out. She’d spill it eventually.

  She sighed. “I’m sorry I put all that on you. It wasn’t fair and you didn’t deserve it. I should’ve known it would have meant more to you. I should have known you would take it more seriously than I did. I don’t want you to ever think you did anything wrong. That was all me. And I was wrong to do it that way.”

  He brought his hand up to play with her hair, loving the way it slipped through his fingers. “I think that’s officially the most you’ve ever said to me at one time, little one.”

  She giggled, a rare sweet sound he wished he could hear every day. “I mean it though. I need you to know that. I mean, I won’t lie. You’re pretty much the hottest piece of ass ever…” She pinched his nipple and squealed when he grabbed both her hands and held them over her head at the same time he rolled on top of her.

  “Hot piece of ass, huh?” She bit her lip and nodded. He moved his much larger body off her and flipped her over on to her belly. “Hold on to the headboard and don’t move. Understand?” He felt himself grow hard when she closed her eyes and nodded her head slowly, her cheek pressed to the bed. Deliberately she wrapped one hand, then the other, around the slats of his headboard. She was so fucking hot lying there on his bed with her heart-shaped ass begging for his hands, his mouth, and the way her hair flowed out across the pillow like a river of dark silk.

  He walked to his desk and rummaged through his drawer before he found what he was looking for. He moved back to the bed and pulled her legs wide before kneeling over her waist and ripping the new cellophane off the bottle. He poured some of the water-based massage liquid into his hand and then rubbed both hands together to warm it.

  She gasped when his slicked palms slid over her shoulders. Her gasp immediately turned into a moan when he began to gently knead her tense muscles. He spent several minutes on her back, rubbing loose the tension she carried with her everywhere, before he moved to her legs. Those damn legs she covered in jeans or her boring work “uniform.” Those long, toned legs that felt right at home wrapped about his hips, or spread wide while he pounded into her.

  Starting at her thighs he slowly worked his way down, rubbing and massaging the stress of their long day away, taking his time. Finally he reached the arch of her foot. He let his gaze devour her before he scooted up and began caressing her ass in earnest. He loved the way her body felt under his hands, but he especially loved her reaction to his touch. The little noises Gabby made, the way she moved her hips and pushed against his hands, made him feel powerful, desired, invincible. With her he felt like he could do anything. And not in the way drugs or alcohol made him feel. They helped him forget about what a fuck-up he was, but they just led him into an even bigger mess. Gabby made him think he was somehow better—more—than just a broken man. Despite the fact that he’d taken her virginity and, instead of keeping his hand off her, he went all in.

  But all thoughts of his past were sucked from the room when she moaned and pushed up into his hands, lifting slightly off the bed. An unexpected growl ripped from his chest and he wrapped his fingers around her hips and pulled her sweet ass up farther. Then he spread one hand across her lower back, over the two small dimples above her ass, and ran his hand up her spine and folded it around the back of her neck. She gasped beneath him and her body trembled as her pulse sped up under his thumb.

  He leaned over her, pressing his rock hard cock against the crack of her ass, and whispered, “You’re perfect, little one. Everything about you is perfection.”

  He kissed the soft flesh of her throat. “Your long, graceful neck.” He moved his hand into her hair and wrapped it around his fist and tugged, pulling her head off the bed so he could look into her face and make sure she was fully there with him. “Your cat eyes.” He kissed her lips and she sighed before her eyes fluttered shut. “Your soft lips.” Shifting back on his knees he
dragged his hands back up her sides, letting his fingers trace the curves of her body, trying to memorize everything about her before she retreated from his life. “Your smooth golden skin,” he said and placed a kiss between her shoulder blades. He rounded his hand to her front and roughly rubbed her swollen clit. She gasped, her breath shuddering and her body trembling.

  “You’re so wet. So hot. Do you want me to fuck you, little one?” He set the painfully swollen head of his dick at her tight entrance, loving the way her body tried to pull him in as she pushed her hips back into his.

  “Yes, please, oh God, please take me, Bowen.” Her voice clawed over his skin, needy and full of want just like him.

  He wanted to shove himself into her body, lose himself in Gabby’s heat, but she was still tight and he never wanted to hurt her.

  Bowen pushed down on her upper back to keep her from impaling herself on his cock and she whimpered. It was everything he could do to not let her surround himself in her with one push. “Slow down, greedy girl.” Digging his fingers into her hips, knowing he’d probably leave marks, and not caring that he was a caveman for wanting to, he began to ease himself into her narrow channel. But Gabby was wild and she was through with patience and pushed back hard, sliding her pussy around him.

  The need for her was too great now, the desire to lose himself in this small, but ferocious woman who somehow embedded herself under his thick skin, was overwhelming. Inevitable like the hangover after a long binge. As he plunged his cock into her and felt the warmth surround him, pull him under, his last rational thought was the knowing that this might be the last time for them. Their time was over and instead of relief he felt a jagged hole open up inside him before her cry of pleasure dragged him sharply back.

  “Harder, Bowen, please. Harder,” Gabby cried and he bent over her, cupping her small round breasts in his hands and pulling her upright before sliding one hand down between, down to where they met. He pinched her throbbing clit between his thumb and forefinger eliciting a howl from the quiet, snarky woman wrapped in his arms.

  With his face buried against her neck, the salty sweet taste of her skin on his tongue, he came hard. For a moment, he just held her there, one hand on her pussy and one still wrapped around her perfect breast. He was trying to breathe normally, trying to get a handle on all the fucking feelings drowning in his chest. After several moments Gabby began to squirm so he got up and took care of the condom before returning to bed and pulling her back into his arms.

  He stroked her soft hair and began to fade into the darkness when Gabby sighed and turned her body into his, curling into his side. He thought she’d fallen asleep until she kissed his chest and murmured, “I love you, pretty boy. Thank you.” Before he could respond or say something, anything, her breathing softened and she fell asleep in his arms.

  Chapter Twenty

  “Take your shirt off and lie down on the table,” Bowen said. His back was turned to Gabby while he laid out and arranged his ink cups and equipment, but she knew him well enough to know he was smirking. Yeah, maybe his firm voice brooked no argument, but he had a hard time keeping that beautiful mouth of his in a grim bossy line for too long.

  “Make me, bossy.” She hid her laugh behind her hand as his head whipped around and he hopped from his stool. Not able to hold her laugh back any longer, she giggled.

  Shit. He has me giggling like a little schoolgirl now.

  “Ha-ha, brave girl. Now get that cute ass up on that table before I make it pink.”

  She laughed again and yanked her shirt off. “Promise, promises, pretty boy,” she said and jumped up on the massage table. Glad that he was finally playful again since he’d been so distant that morning she’d wondered if he’d heard her declare her love for him the night before. But, no, thankfully he’d been asleep when the words had drowsily slipped from her mouth before she’d drifted off into an orgasm-induced slumber.

  Pulling his stainless-steel work tray over to the table and tattoo machine, he arranged her on her front.

  “That’s freezing,” she shrieked when he sprayed the green soap on her tattoo and wiped it off.

  “I know.” He finished preparing the area and held the needles over her back. “You ready for this, Gabby?”

  “So ready.” Ready for the tattoo to be finished, ready for her mom to try being clean and sober again, ready for something to change in her life. For probably the first time ever, Gabby had this weird, full feeling…something she couldn’t quite identify yet, but something that felt a whole lot like hope.

  “So ready,” she repeated under her breath. But then the needles hit her skin and she was quickly transported to that weird calm space that she always went to when Bowen worked on her.

  She was remotely aware of following his instructions to roll and move as he needed her to, but otherwise she drifted off into her happy place. The place where Bowen’s magic needles transformed her ugly past and trauma into something beautiful that was all hers. If only the process of turning her past into something lovely could apply to turning his feelings into something real for her.

  Because what she’d mumbled in the dark of night had not been a lie. She had gone and done the worst, stupidest thing possible. She’d fallen in love with Bowen Landry, former bad boy and self-professed giver of no fucks.

  “Gab, Gab…hey, Gabby, wake up.” Bowen’s deep voice feathered over her skin like a light caress. Opening her eyes, she smiled at his furrowed brow.

  “Hey, I’m okay. Just the endorphins,” she said and reached up to brush her fingertips across his stubbled cheek.

  “Cool. We’re all done if you want to take a look before I tape you up.” He pulled away and began cleaning up his station. For some reason, his distance felt like a slap. Maybe his remoteness hadn’t been imagined. She tried not to notice he’d neglected to call her anything other than Gabby all that day.

  “Great.” She stood and admired her side in the mirror. The work he’d done was absolutely stunning. Turning from side to side, she loved the way the entire piece wrapped around her torso in a gorgeous kaleidoscope of color and shape. “It’s just amazing, Bowen. Indescribable.” Her heart grew in her chest, leaving no room for anything other than her feelings for him and the joy of reclaiming her body, her life, back from the past.

  “Awesome.” His mouth turned up, but the smile never reached his eyes.

  She stepped in front of him. “Hey, talk to me. What’s up?”

  He grinned again, this time softer and more genuine. “Nothing, I promise. We’re okay. I’m just tired.” He finished cleaning up his station and taped her up.

  “Shall we get home and get you packed up?”

  His words acted as a bucket of cold water on her growing happiness. “Way to harsh my vibe, pretty boy,” she said trying to disguise her hurt.

  Dammit, she should know better than to put too much into a future with him. Because that was what she was doing, wasn’t it? Besides, she was the one moving out. She was the one with all the crap on her plate. He just wanted to get on with his life. Who could blame him for that?

  He swatted her ass again giving her a tiny bit of hope again. Maybe she was reading him wrong. Maybe she wasn’t.

  God, she sucked at this whole relationship boy-girl thing.

  “Hey, you’re the one who wanted to be ready to go by tomorrow.”

  Well, she couldn’t argue with that, she thought as they walked out to the main part of the shop where Nathan was working on someone. Jax and Jami stood at the counter talking to Marco.

  “Hey, Bo, Gabby. How’s it hanging?” Jax clapped Bowen on the shoulder and waved at her. Jami ran to Gabby and hugged her, careful to avoid her torso area.

  “Well, let’s see it,” Jami said, motioning to her shirt. Gabby could feel her cheeks warming. Public displays of affection, let alone of her body, weren’t really within her comfort zone.

  Gabby laughed, though. “Why don’t I swing by the house this weekend and show you. In private.”

&n
bsp; “Oh right. Of course. Obviously Kevan is rubbing off on me.”

  “Obviously,” Bowen and Gabby repeated simultaneously. And then laughed.

  “So how does it look?” Jami asked. “Never mind. Bowen did it. I’m sure it’s gorgeous.” Jax rolled his eyes, but the tall lanky drummer laughed. He always did. Gabby didn’t think she’d ever met a more laid-back man in her life.

  “Well, we have to go pack. Gabby’s moving tomorrow.” Bowen walked into the lobby. “Ready?”

  Gabby nodded.

  “Hey, why don’t you guys come over for dinner tomorrow night after you’re all moved in? We can celebrate.”

  “Sure, that would be—” Gabby started to answer.

  “Sorry. Can’t. Have plans. Maybe another time,” Bowen interrupted before calling over his shoulder. “Let’s get going, Gabby. Talk to you guys later.”

  Jax touched her arm. “Why don’t you come over anyway, Gabby?” He was sweet. Maybe she could use a friend. Someone other than Mr. Mood Swings.

  “Yeah. I’d like that. I’ll text Jami when I’m done moving.”

  She said goodbye to their friends and went out to the parking lot where Bowen was putting on his helmet.

  “What’s your problem all of a sudden?” she asked. Might as well find out what bug crawled up his ass instead of letting it go. Or worse, letting it fester.

  “No problem.” Bowen grabbed her hand and squeezed. “I’m sorry. I’m just in a weird space. Let’s get you home. We have a lot to get done.”

  They did. His softly spoken words should have given her more confidence that everything would be okay between them, but a lifetime of broken promises had taught her one thing: a little bit of hope is far more dangerous than a little bit of fear. Because right then all she wanted was just a little shot at a future with this confusing, sometimes sweet, often very dirty-minded man. And at this point, she was pretty sure that wasn’t going to happen.

  *

  How had everything gone from feeling like it should to feeling like it shouldn’t so quickly? Granted, Gabby didn’t feel any overwhelming sense of impending doom hanging over her. McNeil was in jail, her mom was back in rehab, and her tattoo—the one she’d wanted for the last several years—was finally done. And it was gorgeous. But Bowen was quickly pulling away.