Farewell to Lancashire

by Anna Jacobs

  ‘Have they taken the emigrants on board yet?’

  ‘Yesterday.’

  ‘Who must I see about getting passage on that ship?’

  The old man laughed. ‘Can’t just buy a passage, sir. It’s an emigrant ship. You’ll have to see the agent.’

  Gerald slipped the man a shilling and hurried off to the address given him, only to find the office wasn’t open yet. A card in the window said it would open at nine. He went to find a stall to buy some food and was fortunate enough to find one that sold cups of tea and hearty sandwiches, so was able to satisfy his appetite before returning to the office. There a clerk allowed him to sit and wait for the agent, who didn’t come in until later.

  When the man did arrive, he shook his head decisively at a request to take another young woman from Lancashire on the Tartar.

  ‘My dear sir, all the places are taken. There simply isn’t any sleeping accommodation left.’

  ‘Then could we pay for her passage?’ He explained about Cassandra’s sisters, the urgent need for her to get on that ship, pretending she’d just lost her husband, which was the story they’d agreed on briefly the night before.

  ‘It’s a sad story but I don’t allocate the other places, so I can’t help you. I did hear, however, that the cabins have all been taken by paying passengers. I can’t see there being room for another passenger, whatever the circumstances.’

  ‘Could you at least tell me if the sisters are on board?’

  ‘What did you say they were called?’

  Gerald told him.

  The agent frowned. ‘Young women called Susan, May and Dora Blake are on the ship. They tried to claim other names, but we had been warned by the Vicar who recommended them not to give in to such fancies.’

  ‘But the names they claim are their real ones. I christened them myself.’

  The agent shrugged. ‘Too late now.’

  Gerald felt angry all over again at the way the Vicar trampled on everyone from the lower classes. That was no way to spread the Lord’s message. He sat down in the waiting room for a moment to try to calm himself and work out how to break the bad news to Cassandra. As usual when there was trouble, he prayed to his Maker for help.

  When he’d finished, he saw another gentleman sitting opposite him, looking annoyed.

  ‘How long is that agent fellow going to be?’ the other asked.

  ‘Is something wrong?’ Mr Rainey asked, since his companion seemed bursting to confide in someone.

  ‘Yes, very wrong. That stupid maid of my wife’s has changed her mind and now refuses to come to Australia with us, says she’s too old for such junketing and she doesn’t want to leave her family. I’ve heard there are some young women being sent out to the colonies and I want to find out if one of them can do the job temporarily. That is, if they’re respectable. I’m not having a slut tend my wife, who is in a delicate condition. She needs a woman’s help on the journey. I can’t do the sorts of things she requires.’

  Dear Lord, thank you, Gerald thought. ‘Actually, I may be able to help you.’

  ‘Oh?’

  ‘A young friend of ours has been suddenly widowed. Her sisters are on that ship and she’s desperate to go out to Australia with them. I’d come here to try to persuade the agent to take her as well, but they have a full quota. And he says there are no passages to be bought, either. If she were to take your maid’s place ...’ He looked at the other.

  The man slapped his hand on his leg. ‘It could be the answer. I’d need to meet her. Is she respectable?’

  ‘She’s very respectable, has been a member of my congregation all her life. She’s with my wife and our housekeeper in a nearby hotel. She is, as you will appreciate, very upset. Her husband was taken from her suddenly in an accident. But I’m sure she’ll do her best to help your wife if you pay for her passage. She’s a capable young woman.’

  ‘How old is she?’

  ‘About thirty, I think, perhaps a little younger.’

  ‘Just the ticket. Much better than a flighty young female or a timid older one. My name’s Barrett, Simon Barrett.’

  They shook hands and Gerald introduced himself.

  ‘Tell me where you’re staying and we’ll come to meet her as soon as I can fetch my wife. You are sure she’s respectable?’

  ‘I can not only vouch for Cassandra, I knew her father and mother well. Sadly, they too are dead and her sisters are the only relatives she has left in the world.’

  ‘Very sad.’ But Mr Barrett spoke absent-mindedly.

  Gerald hurried back to the hotel.

  ‘Here he is!’

  Cassandra looked up to see Mr Rainey stride into the sitting room.

  ‘We should go up to our bedroom and talk privately,’ he said. ‘Please hurry.’

  The ladies looked at one another in surprise and followed him up the stairs.

  As he explained what the migration agent had said, Cassandra closed her eyes in despair. ‘I may never see them again. And what am I going to do? I can’t go back to Outham.’

  ‘If you’ll let me finish, my dear ...’ He told them about the Barretts.

  Cassandra stared at him as if she’d not understood a word he’d said and he looked at his wife for guidance.

  ‘Are you all right, my dear?’ she asked gently.

  ‘Yes. I was just so – overwhelmed. If they’ll give me the position, I promise I’ll work very hard indeed, though I’ve no experience of being a maid.’

  ‘Tell them that. Don’t pretend.’

  ‘Why do I need to say I’m a widow? Surely I can become myself again now?’

  Mr Rainey exchanged another glance with his wife and edged towards the door. ‘I’ll – um, leave you ladies to have a quick chat about this. I’ll be waiting for you downstairs.’

  When he’d gone, Cassandra turned in puzzlement to Mrs Rainey.

  ‘Have you not considered that there may be – results of the way you were treated?’

  She couldn’t think clearly, felt dull and weary, so shook her head. It was over now, wasn’t it? Except for the nightmares.

  ‘My dear, what if you’re expecting a child?’

  Cassandra looked at her in horror. ‘I hadn’t even considered that,’ she said, her voice a mere whisper. ‘Is this nightmare never going to end?’

  ‘It may not happen, and we’ll pray that it doesn’t, but you said they used you many times.’

  The silence seemed stifling. She couldn’t breathe.

  There was a knock on the door and Phyllis answered it to find a maid there to summon them downstairs to meet the Barretts.

  Mrs Rainey looked doubtfully at Cassandra. ‘My dear, you must pull yourself together, difficult as it is. This may be your only hope of joining your sisters.’

  As the words sank in, Cassandra nodded and took a shaky breath.

  ‘Remember, you’re recently bereaved. Your husband died of ... what?’

  ‘He was knocked down by a runaway horse and cart,’ Phyllis said. ‘We need something sudden and shocking.’

  Mrs Rainey nodded. ‘Yes, that’s a good idea. What was his name?’

  Cassandra could only think of John.

  ‘And his surname?’

  ‘John Lawson.’ Phyllis again offered a suggestion. ‘Tell them you’d only been married for a few months. They’ll be even more sympathetic then. And there’s your hair to consider. How do we explain that?’

  Cassandra reached up to touch the short, jaw-length hair. It still felt strange. ‘There’s nothing I can do about it.’

  ‘You’d better tell them you were ill just before your husband died and they cut your hair short to conserve your strength. It looks well enough, even now, being so thick and wavy.’

  She nodded. What did it matter? Everything seemed so unreal and this was yet another chimera that had arisen to bedevil her. Perhaps this was a nightmare and she’d waken soon.

  But she knew it wasn’t, and although she called it a chimera, it was not a product of he
r imagination nor a mythical beast. The beasts had been men. The unthinkable had really happened and its consequences were still affecting her life, driving her to extreme measures.

  She hated to lie. But if lying would reunite her with her sisters, then she’d do it. She took a few deep breaths and gave the two older women a shaky smile. ‘I’m ready.’

  ‘I’ll stay here,’ Phyllis said. ‘I’m only the housekeeper. Most employers aren’t like Mr and Mrs Rainey, who treat everyone kindly. They won’t like me being there with you. And remember, you can’t expect the same friendliness from them.’ She hesitated, then went across to give the younger woman a quick hug.

  Cassandra hugged her back and then, feeling as if her main support in the world had been taken from her, followed the Minister’s brisk wife down the stairs.

  In the sitting room they found Mr Rainey chatting to a young couple. Mrs Barrett looked wan and puffy, and her husband’s eyes kept going to her anxiously.

  Mrs Rainey put one arm round Cassandra’s shoulders as they moved across the room and waited for her husband to introduce them.

  Mrs Barrett eyed Cassandra’s black clothing doubtfully and then her short hair. ‘When did your husband die?’

  ‘A few days ago,’ Mrs Rainey said for her. ‘He was killed in an accident, a runaway horse and cart. It was very sudden, and our young friend was just recovering from pneumonia when it happened.’

  Mrs Barrett’s eyes filled with tears. ‘Oh, how sad!’

  ‘Are you sure you should be making such a big change to your life?’ Mr Barrett asked, looking at Cassandra doubtfully. ‘It’s very early days. And we need someone who can work hard and help my wife.’

  ‘I have only my sisters in the world now,’ Cassandra said. ‘I want more than anything else to go to Australia with them.’ She turned back to Mrs Barrett and spoke from the heart, ‘I’m not trained to be a lady’s maid, but I promise you I’ll do my very best if you show me what you need. I’m a quick learner and a hard worker.’

  ‘Can you sew?’

  ‘Yes. Well, I can mend and I’ve been learning to embroider and make clothes.’

  ‘I hate mending,’ Mrs Barrett said. ‘But I love embroidering.’

  She smiled suddenly at Cassandra, who concentrated on the thought of her sisters and dredged up a smile in return. ‘I’m sorry about your husband. If you’d like to work your passage as my maid, you can come on board with us tomorrow. We’ll pay you wages, of course.’

  ‘But not as much as a fully-trained maid,’ her husband said quickly.

  ‘The cabin passengers board later than the emigrants and you won’t be sleeping with them on the ship. You’ll share a small cabin near us with another lady’s maid.’

  But Mr Barrett was still frowning. ‘What happened to your hair? Why was it cropped?’

  She knew they cropped the hair of women who went into prison and stiffened. ‘They cut it short when I was ill, to conserve my strength.’

  ‘We keep telling her it looks well enough,’ Mr Rainey said. ‘But young women care about these things, do they not?’

  Mr Barrett was still frowning. ‘You know about it, then, why it was done?’

  ‘Of course I do. And I’ll not mince my words. There isn’t time. I appreciate that you’re worried it might have been done because she was imprisoned.’ Mr Rainey laughed. ‘That was definitely not the case with Cassandra. I give you my solemn word on that.’

  Mr Barrett’s expression lightened.

  ‘What about the emigration agent?’ Mr Rainey asked. ‘What will he say about the changes?’

  ‘I don’t think we’ll tell anyone she’s not Hilda until after the ship has sailed. They probably won’t even ask, so we won’t actually have to lie. I don’t want to risk my dear wife having no help on the voyage, not in her condition. You’d better move to our hotel today, Lawson. We’ll need to get up very early in the morning.’

  ‘I wonder if Cassandra could stay here and join you tomorrow as you board the ship.’ Mrs Rainey smiled apologetically. ‘It’s the last time we’ll see our young friend and we’d like to be with her for as long as possible.’

  Mr Barrett looked annoyed. ‘I don’t want my wife troubled with packing the luggage and overseeing its removal to the ship. That sort of thing is part of a maid’s job.’

  ‘I’ll come now, if you wish,’ Cassandra offered quickly, terrified of losing this opportunity. ‘I’m sure my friends will understand. I just need to pack my night things.’

  ‘I’ll come up with you,’ Mrs Rainey said.

  When the luggage was packed, Cassandra burst into tears. ‘I can’t believe how generous you’ve been. I don’t know how to thank you. What I’d have done without your help doesn’t bear thinking of.’

  ‘“Love thy neighbour,”’ Mrs Rainey said. ‘We don’t need thanks for helping you. But when you’re more comfortably circumstanced, perhaps you could try to help others who’re in need?’

  ‘I shall. I promise you.’

  Cassandra sat in a cab with her new employers, listening to Melissa Barrett prattle about nothing and watching Simon Barrett smile at his wife fondly. Neither of them spoke to her, or even seemed to notice her during the short journey to their hotel.

  Once there, she helped her mistress finish her packing and was given a lesson in laying out clothes for the evening. She found she was to eat with other servants in a separate dining room and felt shy as she made her way there. How different these people were from the Raineys, who treated Phyllis more as a friend than a servant and who had been so kind to Cassandra.

  She found that the group of servants at the hotel had their own hierarchy and looked down their noses at her when she said she was only a temporary lady’s maid. She felt very out of place with them and couldn’t summon up the energy even to chat to them. She forced food down, knowing she had to keep her strength up.

  The sense of unreality persisted but she tried hard to pay attention as she helped Mrs Barrett change into her nightclothes. She must have given satisfaction, because her new mistress said approvingly, ‘You do learn quickly. That’s going to be a big help. And I shall enjoy teaching you to be a lady’s maid. It’ll give me something to do on board the ship.’

  ‘Yes, ma’am. Thank you very much.’

  Melissa sighed. ‘To tell you the truth, Lawson, I wish my dear husband hadn’t been sent out to Australia. He’s to work for the government out there, you know. He has no need to work because I have a private income, but he says a gentleman must make his mark upon the world. We’re only going to be there for a few years, thank goodness. But I’m not looking forward to the long voyage. So tedious.’

  This time when Cassandra went to bed in a tiny comfortless room in the attics, she didn’t fall asleep easily. She didn’t feel safe until she’d pulled her luggage across the door. And even so, her thoughts churned round in circles. In the middle of the night, she woke from a nightmare to find tears on her cheeks.

  This was doing no good, she scolded herself. She must look forward not backward. But that was easier to say than to do, because you couldn’t control nightmares, could you?

  She was relieved when one of the chambermaids knocked on her bedroom door while it was still dark and told her it was time to get her mistress ready for an early start. She quickly packed her own nightclothes and took her bag down with her.

  Mrs Barrett was yawning over a cup of tea and there was no sign of Mr Barrett. ‘Is that all the luggage you’ve got?’

  ‘I have a trunk as well, but I packed in a hurry and may not have all that’s necessary.’

  ‘Well, Simon says there’s no way of getting Hilda’s trunk off the ship, so I shall give her things to you.’

  ‘I couldn’t take them!’

  ‘They’ll just be thrown away if you don’t. I certainly don’t want them.’

  ‘Oh.’

  ‘Besides, how would it look to have a maid who didn’t have the proper clothes? You must take the trunk and make up your own de
ficiencies from it.’

  ‘Very well, ma’am.’

  Mrs Barrett nodded approval. ‘Now, please help me dress. We don’t want to be late or Simon will be annoyed. I’m not used to waking so early.’

  She prattled the whole time, talking of nothing worthwhile, in Cassandra’s opinion. But at least it filled the silence. Being a maid clearly involved a lot of listening and agreeing with her mistress.

  It was raining hard as they went on board the Tartar and Mrs Barrett kept up a steady commentary as she and her husband were shown to their cabin, complaining about everything she saw. Cassandra walked behind them in silence, carrying her own portmanteau. She stared round, fascinated by this new world and felt her spirits lift a little at the novelty of her surroundings. She’d always wanted to travel, hadn’t she?

  Because of the bad weather there were no passengers on deck, so she couldn’t see her sisters yet. She must trust Mr Rainey’s assurances that they were on the passenger list, even if under incorrect names.

  The Barretts’ cabin was small but well fitted out. It had two bunk beds and enough room for a small table and sofa. These were screwed to the floor and the dining chairs were attached to the wall by leather straps until needed.

  When the cabin trunks were brought in, they were set upright in a space at the inner end of the cabin. They opened to show drawers full of everything the Barretts could need during the journey.

  Mrs Barrett flung herself on the sofa, dabbing at her eyes. Her husband went to her side, tossing over his shoulder, ‘Perhaps you’d show my wife’s maid where she’s to sleep?’

  The steward touched Cassandra’s arm. ‘If you’ll come with me, miss?’

  ‘It’s Mrs,’ she corrected. ‘Mrs Lawson.’

  After closing the cabin door, he said, ‘They don’t usually have married maids.’

  ‘I’m a widow.’

  She was shown into a very narrow chamber without a porthole. It contained two bunk beds and not much else.

  He looked at her, grinning. ‘Ever been on a ship before?’

  ‘No, I haven’t. I’d be grateful for any advice you can offer me.’