The Consequences Series Box Set

by Aleatha Romig

  He spoke softly, “Do you want me to stay?”

  Her green eyes spoke volumes, but it was her words that secured his future, “Oh yes, more than I can say, but the decision is yours.”

  “I have one stipulation.”

  Tony stepped forward, protectively placing his arm around Claire’s shoulders. “And that would be?”

  “I don’t do diapers.”

  The lingering sound of the plane faded into the twilight sky as Tony, Claire, and Phil made their way up the path toward the house.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Do what you feel in your heart to be right—for you‘ll be criticized anyway. You’ll be damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.

  —Eleanor Roosevelt

  Stepping through the doorway into a sea of familiar faces, Emily held tight to John’s hand. Everwood’s conference room bustled with counselors, therapists (speech, occupational, and physical), doctors (primary care, neurology, and psychiatry), rehabilitation nurses, and administration representatives—all with one patient in mind: Claire Nichols Rawlings. Various members of Claire’s care team greeted the Vandersols as they made their way to some empty seats at the table.

  When it came to planning and treatment, Everwood was well known for their excellence. This was true with all their patients, but some patients received extra attention. It was no secret—Claire Nichols Rawlings wasn’t the average patient. First of all, she was incredibly wealthy. Second, her sister, next of kin, and power of attorney was excessively demanding, as well as incredibly involved, and lastly, Claire’s brother-in-law was an attorney, well versed in medical law. If pertinent revelations regarding her case were to be discussed, it required the presence of all members of her care team.

  Today’s meeting was in regard to the information in Dr. Fairfield’s report. Dr. Carly Brown eased herself into the chair beside Emily. Squeezing Emily’s free hand, she whispered, “Don’t worry. Dr. Fairfield wouldn’t be addressing this entire crowd if he didn’t have some valuable theories.”

  Tired of theories, Emily feigned a smile. Fighting the emotion building in her chest, she managed, “Thanks, Carly, I’m just afraid to get my hopes up.”

  Dr. Brown smiled. “Hope is all we have. Don’t give up on your sister.”

  Breathing deeply, Emily blinked back the tears. “It’s one thing for me to be disappointed. I’m used to it, but I keep thinking about Nichol having to deal with this one day.”

  John leaned over, keeping his voice low as the rest of the room continued to murmur, “Let’s concentrate on Claire. Nichol’s young We can keep her uninformed as long as possible.”

  Emily nodded as she swallowed her tears. Everyone was taking a seat, some around the table and many in chairs at the perimeter. The overflowing room quieted as Dr. Fairfield began his presentation.

  “Thank you all for joining me here today. I’ve spoken to many of you in the last few weeks, many over the phone. It’s nice to meet you in person. Let me begin by explaining my role as a neuropsychologist…”

  Emily listened as Dr. Fairfield reviewed Claire’s condition. At first, it wasn’t anything she hadn’t heard before—

  “It’s well documented that psychosis like what Ms. Nichols is experiencing can be the result of traumatic brain injury. Recent studies have supported the theory of delayed psychosis. This has been well documented in veterans as well as NFL players. It’s characterized by slowly developing psychosis or delayed rapid onset. There are case studies which have documented rapid onset occurring as long as fifty-four months post injury.”

  Emily liked to think that Claire’s psychosis was slowly developing. Although previously undiagnosed, that theory justified Claire’s decisions over the last years. As Claire’s sister, it made it easier for Emily to accept some of Claire’s actions and decisions—especially regarding Anthony Rawlings. Emily mentally reviewed the timeline: Claire’s initial concussion resulting in prolonged unconsciousness—hell, a coma (although, when she was capable, Claire refused to use that word) was in September of 2010. Though not a concussion, her second brain injury was in June of 2013, when she was attacked by Patrick Chester. Claire’s break with reality occurred in March of 2014…

  “There have even been suggestions that a hormonal imbalance as well as weight gain, like that associated with pregnancy, could have exacerbated previous injuries…”

  To Emily, it seemed very cut-and-dried and the timeline worked.

  Dr. Fairfield continued, “…Although Ms. Nichols’ brain scans support a history of traumatic brain injury, I do not share the theory that this has led to her psychosis…”

  Emily’s neck straightened, and she turned to her husband. What was he saying? Of course TBI was the cause of Claire’s psychosis! It was all Anthony’s fault! He injured her. If it weren’t for him, she never would have been Patrick Chester’s target. Emily’s internal monologue drowned out the doctor’s words. She needed to listen.

  “…The studies are less conclusive on the rate of recovery, from non-TBI-induced psychosis. It’s true; this patient’s current scans indicate previous damage to the right hemisphere of her brain.” He projected various scanned images on the screen and utilized a small blue arrow to point to Doppler-generated specifics. “You’ll note, as is consistent with TBI, the damage is most pronounced in the temporal and parietal lobes. What’s of specific significance with Ms. Nichols is the reduction in gray matter. As that reduction occurs, patients tend to feel pain. Ms. Nichols’ history does suggest problems with headaches. Now, if we compare the MRI of 2013 with the one taken two weeks ago, you can see…”

  Emily listened, trying to remember the previous evidence. Everyone had said it was the TBI which indeed had caused Claire’s psychotic break. She recalled discussion of injury—evidence of concussion, yet as she tried to focus, Emily realized, Dr. Fairfield wasn’t nullifying that evidence. He had acknowledged that the injuries occurred, but he was also stating that he didn’t feel that the injuries were the cause of her psychosis.

  Turning to Dr. Brown, Emily whispered, “Is he saying the head injuries aren’t the cause of her psychosis?”

  Dr. Brown’s eyes opened wide as she turned to Emily, nodded, and shrugged.

  Dr. Fairfield continued, “If the injuries prove to be the cause of the patient’s current state of mind, then in that case I’d have to agree with the conclusion of others that no further recovery will occur.”

  Emily’s mind spun. Who said that? No one had voiced that opinion to her.

  Dr. Fairfield went on, “I have based my current prognosis on the patient’s most recent DTI, or diffusion tensor imaging. This is relatively new imaging and wasn’t commonly available at the time of Ms. Nichols’ break. As many of you know, I’ve worked with the NFL on this subject and have been personally involved with many of the more public cases. Accurately monitoring and measuring brain activity is essential in any prognosis. Let me show you this segment of consecutive DTI.” Again, everyone’s attention was brought to the screen. The image before them moved, or, more accurately, it pulsated. The defined areas of color moved, reminding Emily of an intense area of thunderstorm activity on a weather map. “Note the increased activity in this area of gray matter. What’s significant is that this image was recorded during one of the patient’s hallucinatory episodes. Let me also show you the increased stimulation in this patient’s auditory cortex. For those of you less versed in the medical terminology…” Emily knew he was specifically rephrasing for her benefit. “…I’m saying that even though we may not hear what Ms. Nichols hears, or sense what she senses, she is indeed hearing and sensing. More importantly, her brain is active. Yes, there are areas of damage, but the human brain is very powerful and is quite capable of regeneration and compensation. I conclude that with the right antipsychotics and a significant change in therapy, progress can be made to bring Ms. Nichols back from her current state.”

  As everyone discussed this new prognosis, the room buzzed with whispers. John leaned over
Emily in an attempt to speak with Dr. Brown. Emily remained silent, contemplating the possibility that Dr. Fairfield’s assessment could possibly be true. Her mind fluctuated between hopeful optimism at the possibility of recovery and less than guarded indignation at the possibility that Anthony’s guilt could be more indirect than direct.

  When the room began to quiet, Emily stood. Slowly, silence prevailed. Clearing her throat, she utilized the voice she’d reserved years ago for addressing students. “Dr. Fairfield, if brain injury wasn’t the cause of my sister’s condition, please enlighten us on what was the cause?”

  Everyone turned toward the good doctor, watching as he shifted his footing. “Mrs. Vandersol, psychotic breaks can occur for a number of reasons. Let me emphasize that I’m not insinuating that your sister isn’t truly in the throes of such a break.”

  Defensively, Emily stood taller. Pressing her lips together, she refrained from speaking as she waited for the doctor to continue.

  “The most common causes of psychotic breaks include brain injury and drug use; however, it’s also well documented that a significant life event can precipitate such a break.” For all of his large words and doctor attitude, Emily saw a sudden shift in countenance as he asked, “Your sister had a significant life experience. Wouldn’t you agree, Mrs. Vandersol?”

  “Yes, Doctor, I do; however, the length of my sister’s break has, in the past, been reason to believe that there was more than a significant life experience to blame.”

  It was as if they were the only two in the room. No one else dared breathe, much less speak. Dr. Fairfield continued, “As I stated earlier, the human brain is a truly amazing organ—one that’s essential for each of us to continue living. Without it, we would be incapable of simple involuntary behaviors such as breathing or the beating of our heart. That same amazing brain can also protect us.” He paused and waited; silence prevailed. “It’s my opinion that this patient’s break may have been initially associated with previous injury. It’s also possible that the swelling of blood vessels during pregnancy, her difficult childbirth, and even the hormones associated with breastfeeding could have contributed.” Dr. Fairfield cleared his throat and pushed on, “After observing more than one of your sister’s hallucinatory episodes, I believe your sister is where she wants to be.”

  Momentarily, Emily was at a loss for words. She stuttered as she looked to both Dr. Brown and John. “Ex-excuse me, do—”

  John’s voice prevailed. “So, am I correct to understand you believe Claire is willfully keeping herself in this state? Are you saying she’s faking?”

  “N-no, Mr. Vandersol, I believe she’s in a true psychotic state. She’s obviously delusional, blissfully unaware of her surroundings or the burden her behavior has had on others. I also believe she doesn’t know she’s a mother nor of the fate of her husband.” When Emily shifted, Dr. Fairfield added, “I didn’t ask her those questions specifically. Mrs. Vandersol, your directives were maintained; however, in an effort to assess Mrs. Rawlin-Ms. Nichols, I breached some subjects that had no effect on her. Which I may add, I feel is a shame—”

  John interrupted, “Dr. Fairfield, could my wife and I continue this conversation with you in private?”

  “Yes, I under—”

  Emily stopped his response. “No! I want answers, and I’m sure the others here will need to know. First, is Claire uncomfortable or in pain?”

  “Mrs. Vandersol, the patient has been maintained in a static state of comfort—which I believe is the problem.”

  Everyone in the room turned toward Emily. To the observers, it was like watching a tennis match: all heads turned one way and then they turned the other.

  July 26, 2016

  Today, Ms. Bali called and asked me to come in early. Since Claire has been doing well with me bringing her meals, she asked if I’d take her on a walk. Apparently, there was some big meeting regarding her diagnosis, prognosis, and treatment. Everyone associated with her care had to attend. I wish I’d been at the meeting, but Emily was probably there, so it was better I wasn’t.

  I know I should write about the walk. That’s the whole point, right? Record my thoughts and comments so that I can later come back and see if any progress was made—have a basis for writing the follow-up to my book. Well, here’s the thing: I don’t want to. Oh, I want to stay with Claire. I want to help her, but for a journalist who’s supposed to be indifferent, I picked the wrong project.

  Just in case I don’t remember when I come back to read—on the way home from Everwood, I stopped at the store and bought a bottle of wine. No, it isn’t the normal size. It’s the big one!

  I hated it today! I went to her room and surprise Claire was sitting in the chair by the window. When she saw me and heard my voice, she went to the table to eat. Keep in mind, she’d just eaten! I explained that I was taking her on her walk. At first, she didn’t budge. I just kept talking about the outside. Finally, she stood. I stepped closer, like I’d seen the other woman do and Emily do. Claire didn’t move. I had to reach for her hand and place it on my arm.

  After that, she stayed in step as we walked through the facility. The part that broke my heart was that when we went outside she didn’t look up. She kept her eyes downcast and walked wherever I led. I remember her stories, the ones of her at her lake on the Rawlings Estate. She’d talk about her love of the outside, the breeze in her hair, and the sun on her skin. I think I was expecting to see some sort of recognition or excitement; instead, there was nothing.

  I hated that she had to be subdued when our eyes first met in the cafeteria a month ago, but honestly I’d rather have a negative reaction than none! I think I’m done writing for tonight. I have more wine to drink!

  Michael, Nichol, and John finished their dinners while Emily continued to pick at the food on her plate. She heard the chatter, but her mind kept replaying Dr. Fairfield’s words: No, the patient has been maintained in a static state of comfort—which I believe is the problem.

  Indignantly, she listened as Dr. Fairfield hypothesized that Claire’s current provisions were too good. In essence, he blamed Emily’s directives on Claire’s compliance. He went on to discuss Claire’s history of compliance and adaptability.

  Emily argued internally, too good?! Her sister was detached from the world, living in a place that wasn’t real. How could he possibly think that was too good? Besides, Dr. Fairfield’s resources weren’t primary! Wasn’t that an essential element of research—primary resources? The only way he could’ve learned about Claire’s past, from those who knew firsthand, those who were there, would be to interview Claire or Anthony. Obviously, that hadn’t happened. He had to have researched not only Emily’s accounts, which she confessed were second hand, or read Meredith’s book. Yes, the book was relatively accurate, but even that had an element of fiction. The blatant truth would be too difficult for the world to read.

  So what? So Claire had survived her ordeal by complying and adapting. That was because if she didn’t, then Anthony would punish her. Claire’s current situation wasn’t even remotely similar. How could he suggest it was?

  That was what he’d said—he said: the accommodating surroundings worked to mold Claire’s behavior. By not requiring her to face the consequences of her past, they were allowing Claire to live in her make-believe world.

  The way Emily saw it, she was affording her sister the safe haven she’d been denied.

  The sound of laughter returned Emily’s thoughts to present. Focusing on the table, she watched Michael giggle as Nichol blew bubbles in her milk.

  “Nichol! What are you doing? Don’t teach your cousin those things!” Emily’s unusually harsh tone surprised everyone. She saw the shock in her husband’s eyes.

  Nichol’s brown eyes, that only seconds ago glistened with laughter, were suddenly brimming with tears and looking down. “I’m sorry, Aunt Em.”

  John stood and reached for the children’s plates. Keeping his voice steady, he reassured, “It’s all right, honey. A
unt Emily’s tired. You’re fine, no mess. How about you two go upstairs and let Becca help you get your pajamas on, and we’ll make some popcorn.”

  Peeking her eyes upward, Nichol asked, “Can we watch a movie?”

  “Sure we can,” Emily’s voice softened. “I am tired; I’m sorry that I snapped. If you two hurry then we can all cuddle in our bed.” As small feet rushed out of the dining room with their nanny, Emily’s head dropped and her tears flowed. It wasn’t until John’s hands massaged her shoulders that she found the courage to speak. “Do you think he’s right?”

  “I don’t know, but I do know that we haven’t seen much progress in the last year. I think it’s worth a try.”

  “I don’t want her to have to face… I don’t want her to have to deal with…”

  John helped Emily stand. “I know what you want. You want Claire well, and her past gone. That’s not going to happen.”

  Emily’s cheek settled against John’s chest. She listened as he repeated everything Dr. Fairfield said earlier. It may have been the quiet setting of their dining room, his tender embrace, or the relief from allowing the tears to finally surface. No matter the reason, John’s words made sense. Nodding her head, Emily replied, “I guess I get it, but I still don’t want her to have to deal with memories of him.”

  Pulling her close, John whispered, “She’s survived more than most. Maybe these past few years have been a well-deserved break. As much as you want to, you can’t keep the truth from her forever. When she’s stronger, she’ll be able to face it, and perhaps this new protocol will help her get stronger.”

  Emily conceded, “I’ll call Dr. Brown tomorrow and give my okay.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Darkness restores what light cannot repair