“Oh, my goodness. Are you lost, sweetheart?”
Callie looked at the older lady and couldn’t stop the smile that spread across her face. “No. I sort of feel like I’ve finally made it home.”
“Excuse me?”
“I know I’m here a few weeks earlier than I thought I would be but, Eve…it’s me.”
Eve looked closer, studying Callie’s face as she gently pushed open the screen door. One hand came up to cover her mouth as she tried to contain a gasp. She reached out toward her and Callie didn’t move.
Eve O'Brien slowly moved the neck of Callie’s dress to the side, exposing the thick scar on her chest. Her eyes flashed with pain, then filled with tears.
“Callie?”
Five
Trey couldn’t figure out what had gotten into his mom. She’d been hell-bent on him stopping over at the house after work. If there was one thing he knew about Eve O’Brien, when she set her mind to something, she would rearrange the stars in the sky, if need be, to make sure it happens. Even if it meant pulling out the guilt cards.
“Please Trey, it’s important,” she had begged. And truly, that’s all it took.
His chest twisted with guilt as he counted off the months since he’d been to the family farm. Trey knew it was stupid, or stubborn, or maybe even a little cowardly, but didn’t care what the reason was behind it. He clenched the steering wheel, wishing like hell he could keep driving and pretend he’d never spoken to his mom today. But she had said it was important and if it was important to her, then it should be important to him. The space he had put between his family and him stung every day. He felt their absence in everything he did, but it was just one more thing he surrendered to his unraveling life.
He called his mom every Friday without fail. Every other Wednesday, she waited outside the only grocery store in town until she saw him go in and then acted like it was a coincidence they both ended up there. It’d happened a few too many times to be an accident, but he didn’t have the heart to call her on it.
On Sunday evenings, she stopped by his place, always with the same excuse - she wanted to see what progress he’d made on his old farmhouse. They both knew it was BS because Trey didn’t do that kind of work anymore. He’d done only minor, necessary changes since Jamie’s death.
After giving up farming, he’d gone to work for Mr. Gibbons’ construction company. He now worked long hours building other people’s dreams. Trey’s desire to renovate his place had died with Jamie, just like most things in his life.
But it didn’t stop Eve from coming over. She bought new curtains for the windows or fresh flowers for his tables. “We need to liven things up a bit in here,” she would say while dusting and putting away whatever food she had made him for the week.
She smiled at him, but it never reached her eyes. He didn’t hold it against her though. How much can you love someone who was the reason you’d lost so much?
She always made sure he had updated pictures of Alex and Lauren, replacing the old with the new while talking about his niece's upcoming activities. She was trying to keep him connected and he appreciated it, but he never looked at the pictures. All he saw was the life that had been stolen from Jamie.
The life he had stolen.
As soon as his mom left, he’d take the pictures down, hiding them away in the hall closet until the next Sunday, when he would put them out again before Eve arrived. It had become routine, just like her visits.
The wounds he carried about what happened, burned and bled as he watched her move around his house. It made him uncomfortable. Most Sundays he couldn’t wait for her to leave. So many times, he’d open his mouth, wanting to talk about the real things. The hard stuff. Pressure would build in his chest as everything that needed to be said sat right below the surface of their fractured relationship.
But he couldn’t speak the words out loud, so instead, he thanked her for the food, smiled at the flowers, and hugged her before she left. But it wasn’t like before. She was trying to recover from losing Jamie and he was barely surviving. He had nothing left to offer her. His connection to the family was lost, buried under a headstone that read “O’Brien.”
So, it wasn’t like he had no contact with her, it just wouldn’t ever be the same. And he didn’t go to the farm…ever. But here he was today, pulling onto the gravel driveway in his work truck. He’d hoped if he showed up right after work, in need of a shower, he could use it as an excuse to leave if things got too uncomfortable.
Nothing had changed as he looked around the familiar farm, except the barn needed painting and by now, his mom’s garden was usually in full swing. She had a few things planted but nothing impressive. He didn’t want to think about the reasons why she had given up her gardening.
“Oh great,” he mumbled to himself as he pulled up to the guesthouse and noticed Andy’s truck. Eve had hired Andy, Trey’s lifelong best friend, to manage the farm after it was clear Trey wouldn’t be taking over. It was a good fit. Andy had been like a son to Eve and Jed and had worked the land as a hired hand since junior high school. He knew how the O’Brien’s ran things and had worked countless hours side by side with the brothers.
Still, there was something about it that rubbed Trey the wrong way. He knew he shouldn’t have an opinion about who was running things since he’d just up and walked away from it all. However, he couldn’t deny how much it bothered him that it was Andy.
Gripping the bill of his old baseball cap with both hands, Trey pulled it down further onto his head. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment. The best thing for everyone would be for him to pack his bags and move far away from all of them, all of this. But something kept him tethered to this land.
Every night when he laid in his bed replaying that horrible night in the alley, he wondered why it had been Jamie and not him. His death would have been hard for everyone, but not nearly as devastating to the family as losing his brother. Jamie was a husband and a father. He led this family, ran this farm – he was the reason they all stayed together.
With him gone it was different. The absence of him was too significant to ignore. Even though Lauren had told him a million times Jamie’s death was not his fault, he could never believe that.
He knew Lauren tolerated him purely out of respect for his brother, but he didn’t deserve her forgiveness and if he was honest, he didn’t want it. Wanting forgiveness would mean he’d have to be willing to forgive himself and that was something he would never do. If he couldn’t bring his brother back, the least he could do was live his life carrying the blame for his death.
Shoving his door open a bit too hard, he jumped out of the truck. The grass seemed a little too long for his liking. He made a mental note to mention it to Andy. If he was going to be in charge around here, then he damn well better do a good job.
He pushed his hands into his front pockets and headed toward the house. His guts twisted as his anxiety swelled. Every step closer to the house unraveled his already weakened sense of control.
Jamie was all over this place. It was impossible to push away the guilt and shame when everywhere he looked, all he could see was his brother. His forehead glistened with a thin layer of sweat as his breaths rushed in and out too fast.
“Uncle Trey!”
Trey stopped without turning around and swallowed hard against the lump in his throat.
No, not her too. He let out a ragged breath, trying to release some of the pressure building in his chest.
Mustering up the best smile he could, he turned around to face his niece who was running full speed right at him.
“Hey, Firefly.” He barely got the words out before she threw her arms around his waist, squeezing with all her might. He patted her small back, tears threatening to fall.
“I can’t believe you’re here!” Alex squealed as she continued to squeeze her uncle. “Is it really you?”
“It’s me alright.”
“I haven’t seen you for a long time. Don’
t you miss me, Uncle Trey? ‘Cuz I miss you like crazy.” Her blue eyes searched his as she looked up adoringly at him.
“Oh, sweet girl,” his voice cracked, “I miss you every single day.”
He reached down and lifted her into his arms. Burying his face into her hair, he breathed in deeply and selfishly let her embrace make him feel a little better. She'd grown since the last time he had seen her. He held onto her tightly, wishing away all the time lost between the two of them.
She tapped him on the back, “Geesh,” she whispered, “you’re gonna squeeze the stuffin’ out of me.”
Trey loosened his grip and lowered the little girl to the ground, kneeling to her level. He pushed away a wild curl and tried tucking it behind her ear.
“You’re as beautiful as your Mama, Firefly.”
Alex smiled brightly at him, “Yep, I know,” she popped her hip out to the side, pointed at her eyes, and blinked dramatically, “but I have my Daddy’s eyes.”
Trey’s heart seized in his chest and his face was suddenly cold as his smile faltered. She did have Jamie’s eyes.
He dropped his gaze from her to the ground and twisted his hands together in front of him, trying to stop the tremors that had started.
Alex’s hands dropped to her sides. She stood quietly for only a few heartbeats before speaking again.
“Did you know Grandma got me a pony?” She bounced on her toes, hardly able to contain her excitement.
He kept his eyes on the ground but shook his head. He could feel it, the guilt, eating painfully away at him. “No,” he finally got out, “no, I didn’t know that.” He looked up, giving his niece a weak smile.
Alex stopped bouncing and her eyes softened as understanding flashed across her face. He didn’t know how, but at that moment he was sure his niece could see into his brokenness. Alex had done a lot of growing up in the last two years and dealt with things no child should.
She wrapped her tiny hands around his, holding onto him tightly.
“Firefly, I…”
His niece cut him off, pulling on his hands. “Well, come and meet her. She is beautiful.”
Trey took a deep, long breath as his niece pulled him once more. “Don’t be afraid. She is super friendly, and I love her.”
“Okay, let’s go meet your new pony.”
“Yeah!” She shouted as she released his hands and spun in a circle, her arms out to the side. “Her name is Heaven and she is the best pony ever!”
Trey chuckled to himself and watched as Alex ran ahead of him.
He began to follow until a figure stepped out of the shadows of the barn, fixing him to his spot.
He couldn’t believe the sight before him. This woman. Trey had thought of nothing but her all night. He’d dreamed of the way her body fit perfectly against his and how it felt when their wet skin touched. Even now, as he stood staring at her, he could hear the soft sounds she made as they swayed in the rain the night before.
And here she was again, standing in front of him, unaware of what her presence was doing to him. Her long blonde hair, which hung freely last night, was now pulled into a thick braid that hung over one shoulder. A few wild strands blew carelessly across her face as she absentmindedly tucked them behind her ear. The same ear he had so gently kissed behind.
The old Def Leppard concert t-shirt she wore hid all her delicious curves outlined in the wet dress she’d worn in the rain the night before. But right this moment, it was the rhythm of her steady breathing – somehow both soft yet compelling – that commanded his attention. She was alive and real, beautifully magnetic in her essence.
She leaned against the open door of the barn, her cut-off jean shorts barely peeking out past her shirt. One Converse covered foot crossed over the other as she smiled over Alex’s head right at him.
He wondered the same thing he had last night as he had watched her in the rain.
Was this a dream?
She glanced at the ground with a shy look. It was the same look she’d given right before she started to dance for him. His entire body reacted to this girl. He wanted to take her into his arms and dance as they had already done. This breathtaking woman lit something within Trey that was both unfamiliar and exciting. A smoldering need to know her sparked inside of him.
Trey’s blood suddenly ran cold. He didn’t know her or anything about her except for the fact that she was crazy enough to stop in the middle of the road during a thunderstorm to do what, dance? Who does that?
It was suddenly clear who he needed to protect, and it wasn’t this girl.
There was something shady about this situation. Who was this girl and why was she here? As much as he wanted it to be true, reality told him it couldn’t be a coincidence that she was on the road last night and here now.
What the hell did she want from his family? He knew he had never seen her before their meeting last night, so she’d better have a good reason for standing on his family’s land today.
Alex ran past the woman without even a second glance, except for jumping up and giving her a high five. She spun around and yelled back at Trey, “This is my new friend, Callie. She’s nice. You will like her, too.” And then she was gone, disappearing deeper into the barn.
Callie’s smile faltered a bit as she watched his long strides close the distance between them, noticing the way his thick legs flexed under his jeans. A thin gray t-shirt stretched across his broad chest with the faded marking of what she guessed was his high school mascot. She wound her hands together, trying to ground herself before she burst from anxiety. This impossible situation with an unbelievably handsome man that she'd just been introduced to by a hyperactive seven-year-old.
By the time he stood in front of her, she felt ripped open and exposed. Those blue eyes, the ones he never took off her… could they see all her half-truths and the storms that raged inside of her?
She swallowed noticeably, her eyes darting around him and then to the ground. But then she remembered her transformation and all she’s endured to get here. The redirected course she had put herself on, although she may not have known it at the time, had always been leading her into this moment.
She stuck her hand out toward him and pulled her shoulders back, determined to face the man in front of her. “Hi, I’m Callie. I’m a friend of…”
The look on his face silenced her.
Trey glanced at her outstretched hand briefly before connecting his eyes with hers once again. He grabbed her upper arm and headed into the barn, pulling her along with him a little more roughly than he intended.
Callie yelped in surprise as she struggled to keep up with him. Once inside, Trey released her roughly. “Who are you and what are you doing here?”
Callie stared at him, her mouth partly open, wondering what in the hell was wrong with him.
She folded her arms across her chest, shifting her weight onto one foot. He might be the most gorgeous man she’d ever seen, but she wasn’t about to become one of those girls that lost it in the company of a handsome guy. And she certainly wasn’t someone who would allow Mr. Handsome Guy to disrespect her for no reason.
“I’m sorry, can we try that again?” she bit out as she stuck her hand out toward him. “My name is Callie, and I’m your mother’s friend. And just so you know, it’s rude to go around touching strangers.”
Trey searched her face, his eyes roaming back and forth between hers. What kind of game was this girl playing? He couldn’t deny she was adorable standing there with her sassy attitude but did she really think he didn’t know who she was? That happening upon a beautiful girl dancing in the middle of the road during a rainstorm was just a regular thing around here?
But then it struck him. She'd never seen his face. While she stood highlighted in the darkness by his headlights, he’d remained hidden in the dark inside of the truck.
She didn’t know who he was.
A small smirk stretched across his lips as he realized his secret could remain his for a bit longer.
/> He stepped closer to her, gripping her small hand in his. And once again, her eyes glanced down to his chest and then back to his face. She smiled hesitantly at him. She didn’t trust him. Smart girl. This game just got a whole lot more interesting.
“I’m so sorry, where are my manners? You said you were my mom’s friend?”
“Yes, that’s right. I’m here to help her.” Callie’s voice trailed off and Trey noticed the pink hue crawling up her neck.
“Are you a part of her gardening club?” He knew that his mom often had younger women come out to teach them tips on placement and irrigation tricks that helped his mom’s flower beds become award-winning or at least they used to be.
“Yes. I just came up for a couple of days to run a few things by your Mom and see if I could help her with anything.”
“Funny, my mom didn’t mention inviting you.” He loved that she was uncomfortable around him. It gave him an advantage that had often worked for him in past situations with beautiful blonde women.
“Really? Maybe it slipped her mind.”
A silence stretched between them for several seconds before Trey realized he was still holding her hand. He shook it again, “I’m sorry,” he rushed out, “I’m Trey O’Brien, Eve’s youngest son.” His voice faded out as he introduced himself as he had a million times before. Still, it was the first time since Jamie’s death he had used that title – youngest son. He took back his hand, putting it into his pocket and looked at the ground.
The color drained from Trey’s cheeks. “Are you feeling okay?” she asked. Her need to comfort him was overwhelming.
She reached up and lightly, tracing his cheek. Before, she would have never been as bold as to touch a stranger, but now things were different, she was different.
Trey twisted his face away from her, glaring while he moved away.
“Jesus,” he whispered, as he reached up and brushed off the electric feel of her skin on his. “Didn’t you just say it was rude to touch strangers?” He turned his back to her.
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