“Hey,” she responded, a bit too friendly and without turning around.
He reached out and touched her elbow and she stilled. Nothing else mattered except where they were connected. She watched as his fingers slid down her arm, stopping on the top of her hand where he rubbed small circles, all the while she tried to remember how to breathe. “Can I talk to you for a second?”
She pulled in a shaky breath and turned, keeping her eyes on the ground.
A surge of panic raced through Trey. He wanted her eyes on him, wanted her to see the apology, not just hear it. Guilt squeezed his chest, stealing his breath for a second, and he sent a promise up to his brother that he would never stop trying to make up for losing his cool with her.
Since the moment he’d found out she had been sick as a child, something inside of him had shifted. He’d finally realized why she’d come here.
He could only imagine how scared Callie must have been as a small child, facing illness, and for all he knew, death. How hard that must’ve been for her. She was a survivor in the real sense of the word and she was helping his mom and Lauren be survivors, too.
Somewhere in the darkness of the night, as he’d laid in bed after finding out the information Sheriff Deal had given him, he realized she wasn’t only there to help them deal with the loss of Jamie, she was also there to help them prepare for the loss of him.
Callie had been right all along, he was an idiot.
The comments she made the first morning she woke him up, about choosing to stay in the guesthouse with his alcohol instead of spending time with his family. The conversation in the truck about what he felt was the definition of security. The horrible argument they’d had in the guesthouse about letting Lauren move on, and still, after that, Callie had pleaded with him in the grocery store to talk with his mom.
She had given life back to this farm. Callie was the reason his mom had started living again. She was the source of strength for Lauren and Andy to admit their feelings for each other.
And he had done nothing but blame and hurt her.
He couldn’t explain it, but he knew it had changed him and he needed her to feel that change, too.
But he did want to push her. Things seemed different today, she seemed different.
He pulled the two daisies out from behind his back and held them down low so she could see them. Callie’s lips lifted into a small smile as she slowly took the flowers and raised her eyes to him. He knew at that moment, there was nothing more beautiful in this world than this woman. He swallowed past the lump in his throat. “I’m really sorry, Callie.”
Her smile fell and so did his heart. He didn’t want to remember either, but they had to get through this. They couldn’t leave what had happened just hanging out there. There was something about her that kept him coming back, and he needed her to understand no matter what, no matter how hard things got, that would never change. He needed her to trust in that. But first, he needed her to forgive him. Her forgiveness would be the foundation they could start building from.
“For what?” She asked as she took in a deep breath that filled both of her lungs full, and somehow, she found the courage to lift her gaze to him once again.
She could see the desperation as he searched her face, his eyes filled with such pain and suffering. Her heart swelled with hope that maybe he needed her, as much as she had come to realize that she needed him. This could work if they both wanted it. Sure, the truth would change things a bit, but for the better. It could make them closer and she was willing to work through all the obstacles that it might bring.
“I don’t really know where to start. What can I say to make you understand how sorry I am?”
“Trey –”
“No, please, let me finish. First, that day in the guesthouse, when I…” he dropped his eyes to the ground and shook his head, pursing his lips together. “When I pushed you. God, Callie. You will never know how sorry I am for that. I crossed every single line a man should have with a woman, and even if you somehow find it in your heart to forgive me, I want you to know that I will never forgive myself.”
He ran his hands down his face. “And for not trusting you. For jumping to conclusions.”
Callie shook her head, it was all okay. She understood he was hurting and finally feeling emotions that he had suppressed for so long. It was natural for him to be suspicious. She reached for him as he began pacing.
“And that kiss, it should’ve never happened. That was horrible.”
Callie held her breath, feeling like someone had punched her in the stomach as her head swirled. The sting of his words cutting through her heart like a knife. Her throat constricted and she turned away, not wanting him to see the hurt on her face.
Sure, this was a new beginning. But not for the two of them together. This was a new beginning for him. He was starting a new life, the life she wanted for him. A life reconnected with his family, and free from the pain he had self-inflicted. She had been such a silly girl to think someone like Trey would want a beginning with her.
He needed her forgiveness so he could move on. Without her. And she decided in that moment she cared enough for him to give him just that.
Callie waved her hand in the air. “It’s no big deal. You’re forgiven.” She said as she maneuvered around the table and headed toward the guesthouse. “I need to put these in water,” she echoed what Eve had said just minutes ago, hoping it would give her the same reprieve.
“Just like that?” He yelled after her.
“Yup, just like that.” She hurried toward the guesthouse.
Trey put his hands on top of his head, chewing his bottom lip as he watched Callie rush away from him. He took a few quick steps toward her before Andy stepped in front of him.
“Whoa, let’s take a moment here,” Andy suggested as he placed a hand on Trey’s chest.
Trey looked down at Andy’s hand, and then back up to his face.
“You think I’m going to hurt her again?”
“Jesus, no, Trey. But I also know if you go rushing in there like this, it’s not going to go well.”
“How the hell do you know that?”
“Well, I don’t know. How did that just go?” He pointed to the spot where Trey and Callie had just been standing.
“Shitty.” Trey took a step back from Andy and began pacing again.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought. It seemed a little too easy.”
“What is my problem? I can’t do anything right with this girl. My words don’t come out right, my thoughts get all jumbled up in my head. I’m constantly saying and doing stupid shit when she’s around.”
Andy threw his head back laughing.
“This is funny to you? What if she can’t forgive me, Andy? I basically called her a liar and a fake. I invaded her space, hurt her, and then took advantage of her kindness when all she was trying to do, all she’s ever tried to do, is knit me back into this family.”
“First of all, I don’t think it’s funny. I think it’s hilarious! I’ve never seen you so bent over a girl. Welcome to the real world, O’Brien.”
Trey flipped a finger in the air toward his friend.
“Secondly, all I’m saying is dial it down a notch. You can’t go in there all wound up. Take a breath and think about it. Callie isn’t the type of girl you go after and then throw away. You have to be sure because she will see through the usual crap that works on other girls.”
“I would love to stroke your ego here and tell you that’s a great idea, but the reality of it is this, I’m Trey O’Brien. I don’t dial anything down and I have no intention of throwing her away.”
“So, you’ve decided to stick around then? Be a part of this family again?”
“I’ll tell you what I’ve decided,” Trey pointed in the direction of the guesthouse. “That woman is going to be mine, and I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure she knows it.”
Andy started laughing, “Sounds like you.”
Trey smiled and
slapped Andy on the shoulder as he started after Callie. “You know those baby steps we talked about? I say screw that.”
Sixteen
Callie pulled open the screen door and didn’t stop until she was in the security of the kitchen. She pressed the flowers against her chest as it rose and fell quickly.
“Callie?”
The sound of his voice was like a call to action as she opened the cupboard in front of her, rummaging through the cups and plates, pretending to be looking for something to put the flowers in. “Yes?”
“Can I come in?”
She panicked because there was nothing in the stupid cupboard to put the flowers in. Everything was either too small or too big or just not right. She quickly moved to the next one. “Um, yeah, sure. Whatever, it’s your house.”
She didn’t turn toward the sound of the screen door opening. The world tilted a little bit and dizziness filled her head. His soft voice reached into her, squeezing her heart. “Yeah, but your space, remember?”
She closed her eyes, dropping her chin down as she ran a hand up and over her forehead and down her ponytail. “Right…”
Callie finally turned around. He was close, too close, but she couldn’t seem to make herself move back. The only space left between them was the flowers he had given her. She tightened her grip, needing something to keep her grounded. She had known his touch, had felt his hands on her during their dance, but now that she knew the warm feel of her rushed breath mixed with his and the taste of his lips on hers, there was nothing that could stop the desire for more.
But he had said it, the kiss was a mistake. Something he regretted.
She had her answer. Her sister was right, she needed to be selfish right now, think about herself and her own wellbeing. For the first time since her surgery, she wanted to go home.
Panic rose inside of her like a tidal wave, swirling and swaying. Her stomach rolled, and she tried desperately to keep in control. She didn’t want to be pulled under this time, she wanted to live and continue on. But Callie knew she belonged to this man, even if he didn’t want her, and it was heartbreaking to realize sometimes loving someone just isn’t enough.
He leaned in closer, his scent surrounding her and stealing her breath. She fought everything within herself not to drop the flowers in her hands and wrap her arms around him. He reached above the refrigerator and opened the cupboard, grabbing a small vase and handing it to her as he took a step back.
“Thanks,” she mumbled and turned toward the sink.
He leaned against the counter, crossing his arms over his chest and looking out the windows.
“I’ve been a huge asshole to you.”
She snuck a sideways glance at him but only for a few seconds. She knew if she spent any longer than that, she would fall under his spell once again. “It’s okay. I guess I gave you a reason to wonder, showing up like I did.” Callie rushed past him and onto the back porch, setting the vase with the flowers down on the table.
“I have to tell you something,” he said, following her.
She turned to face him standing in the doorway, hoping the hurricane of emotions she was dealing with on the inside wouldn’t be plastered all over her face.
“I know why you’re here,” he said calmly.
Callie’s stomach threatened to spill her breakfast, but she tried to keep her voice as light as possible.
“You do?”
“Don’t be angry, but I had someone checking into you.”
Callie stiffened, “What?”
Trey put his hands up in defense and continued. “I know you’re Callie Loftier. I know your daddy is a big deal and sells shipping supplies on the coast.”
This was it, he really did know. Callie prepared herself. She was going to tell Trey the truth, right here, right now, and all by herself. Goosebumps broke out all over her body and she couldn’t make herself look at him. But if this is the way fate had set it up, then who was she to fight it? She could tell him and leave. Pack up her clothes and be gone before the first person even arrived at the party.
“And I know you are really sick.”
Callie grabbed the railing to steady herself. “Was,” she whispered.
“What?”
She turned toward him again, her resolve and strength returning as she remembered all the things she had been through to get her to this moment. “I was really sick, I’m not sick now. That’s not who I am anymore.”
“It’s not who you ever were. You were never your illness, Callie. It might have been part of who you were, but it was never who you were.”
“How could you possibly know that? You have no idea what it’s like to be me.” She turned, determined to get away from all of this, but Trey grabbed her arm lightly so she would look at him.
“You’re right, I don’t.”
“And? What does all this newfound information about me tell you?”
“When I first met you, I assumed you had found my mom on some gardening website. Found out who she was and that she had…well, that she had money, and maybe you would show up and somehow take advantage of her.”
“Oh, that’s what you thought?”
“Yes, I thought that.”
“And what do you think now?”
“I think you needed her as much as she needed you.”
Callie felt her strength wavering. This man. This man and his damn words and his perfect smile and his beautiful soul. “What do you mean?” she asked, her voice cracking as she spoke.
“It means I know she is hurting and grieving, even more than me. I’ve been too damn selfish to see it because I was so caught up in my own self-pity.”
Callie wanted to scream, this was taking too long. She needed to tell him the truth now before she lost her nerve. But she also understood he needed this time to say everything he wanted. This was important to his healing.
“I remember her telling me about a group she found online. Crossing Bridges, or Mending Bridges, something like that.”
“Building Bridges,” Callie said carefully.
“Yes, that’s it,” Trey said, pointing toward Callie. “That’s the group you met in, right?”
Callie nodded her head.
“She told me it was a group where people who are dealing with serious illnesses can talk to people who have lost loved ones. It’s sort of like a therapy group, right?”
“Trey…”
“I mean… I still think it’s kind of strange you guys decided to meet in person, but at least now I know the reasons behind it. What I’m getting at is this… I was wrong. I don’t think that about you anymore and I was really hoping we could just start over?”
“What?” A long silence stretched between them.
“I want to start over,” he pushed his hand in Callie’s direction. “I’m Trey O’Brien, Eve’s youngest son, and I’m pleased to meet you.”
She hesitated, knowing there was so much more to be said, but his eyes were so hopeful, and her heart couldn’t deny him this little victory. “Hi,” she said as she smiled, reaching for his hand.
As soon as his hand closed over hers, he pulled her to him, their bodies touching while he pressed her hand over his heart. “Do you feel that? Do you feel how crazy you make my heart beat when I’m close to you?”
His other hand traced down the curve of her body, finding her hip and pulling her in closer if that was even possible. Electrical currents rushed around her body, sending a shiver down her back. Callie grasped his t-shirt, unsure if her weakening knees would keep her standing without help. He leaned down, his lips hovering just over the shell of her ear as his hot breath bathed her sensitive skin. “Hi,” he whispered huskily, and she could feel him smile against her ear.
She turned her face towards him, breathless and weak from his nearness. There was a heavy silence as their breaths tangled between them, their eyes finding each other, silently questioning how far each would let this go. “That’s some greeting,” Callie said, smiling. “Is this how you say
hello to everyone?”
Trey laughed, a real laugh and Callie had never heard anything so beautiful. “No, this is a new one for me.” Trey took a small step back and Callie started to release his shirt, but he quickly put a hand over hers, keeping it next to his heart. She didn’t want to let go, every cell in her body wanted to be tucked back in next to him, and her heart warmed knowing he wasn’t ready for her to let go yet either.
Trey kept his eyes on where their hands met on his chest. A small smirk lifted the corner of his mouth as he spoke, “And for the record, I don’t dance either.”
Callie’s lips parted as his eyes found hers.
“I don’t dance, ever. Only with you. This is all new to me, Cal.” He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it gently. “People should be coming soon, I better get out there and help Andy.”
“Of course,” she said breathlessly, his words breaking through the trance she was in. She gently pulled her hand from his and took a step back. “I’m just going to change and freshen up and I’ll be right out to help.”
“Why? I think you look awesome in what you’re wearing.”
Callie looked down at her old shoes she wore whenever she worked in the dirt, her black silky running shorts with a white stripe down the side, and her favorite “Johanns Sweet Corn” t-shirt she picked up somewhere in Iowa that read, Put Johanns up if you love our sweet corn.
She did love that sweet corn.
“Well thanks, but I think I’ll change into something a little nicer if I’m going to meet the whole town.”
Trey smiled, “Whatever makes you happy. I guess I’ll see you out there,” he said, pointing with his thumb over his shoulder, “unless you need some help getting ready.”
Callie rolled her eyes, “Do those pick-up lines work on the girls around here?”
“Sometimes.”
“Well, not today, farmer.”
Seventeen
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