The party was well underway when Callie finally forced herself from the guesthouse. She didn’t have a reason to carry many clothes with her and a party was something she wasn’t prepared for… especially like the one going on outside, with loud music and the smell of grilled hamburger floating through the air.
She had settled on a light pink, button-up sundress. Even though it was warm out, she left her hair down, letting it air-dry after her shower. It flowed in perfect beach waves down her back. She slipped on her trusty flip-flops and a dab of lip gloss and called it good. It was casual, but she was comfortable and that’s all she cared about.
As soon as her feet hit the gravel of the driveway, she stopped. Most of the guys were dressed one of two ways; the younger ones were dressed exactly like Trey, with slight variations, and the older ones wore jeans with cowboy boots and a western-style shirt
The girls her age, however, were a bit shocking to Callie. Most wore tight tank tops. Some layered them, some topped them off with a denim shirt, but almost all of them had on short shorts and cowboy boots. It was like a light shone down on her, pointing out to everyone how badly she didn’t belong here.
“This looks like a county music video gone bad,” she whispered to herself. Callie wanted to turn and run back into the guesthouse, hide out until everyone left, and head out of town at first light.
In her mind, she had already decided that was the best plan of action. Callie had initially agreed to stay until this all played out, but the rules had changed. She had never intended for Trey to be misled or lied to. That wasn’t how this was supposed to go. She meant to come to the O’Brien farm, put a plan into motion, see it through, and leave. Just like she had with all the other families. She never intended to stay this long, play these sorts of games, or feel the way she did when Trey whispered her name.
This was a horrible time to tell Eve she was leaving, and she felt terrible about that, but she couldn’t disappear without telling her. She knew if she didn’t do it tonight, she would probably end up living in the guesthouse for the rest of her life. She couldn’t let that happen. She had made a promise to herself to never be tied to one spot again. The idea of it made her anxious and she fought the sudden feeling of heaviness in her chest.
She spotted Eve across the yard and began weaving her way through the crowd. People were friendly, nodding and saying hello, but she still felt like the outsider she knew she was.
“Well, hello, beautiful,” Eve said as she approached. She motioned to a woman standing in a group of ladies just a few feet away. “Joslyn, ladies, come here. I want you to meet someone.”
The ladies all moved as a group, hugging their koozie-wrapped beer cans, and smiling through red painted lips. Callie recognized some of the women from the day at the farmer’s market.
“Ladies, this is Callie.” Eve wrapped her arm around Callie’s shoulders and gave her a squeeze. “The one I was telling you about. She’s the one who brought this farm back to life.”
All the women smiled warmly at her, thanking her for getting Eve back into the dirt.
“Callie, these gals are from the Worth County Gardening Club.” Eve leaned in toward her, “They are my tribe as all you girls say.”
“So nice to meet you all. I hope you’re having a nice time.” Callie wrung her hands together in front of her, trying her best to act like she was hearing every word when all she could hear was the steadily increasing heartbeat pounding away in her chest.
“O’Brien parties are always the best,” said the woman Eve had referred to as Joslyn. Callie just smiled. “And to see Trey here, well, it’s nothing less than a miracle. Isn’t that right Eve?”
Eve nodded her head, looking out over the crowd toward where Trey was sitting on a hay bale enjoying the conversation with his friends. “Look at him,” Eve said, tears welling up in her eyes. “He’s actually smiling.”
Callie followed Eve’s stare and was instantly mesmerized by all things Trey. He was smiling. A real smile that lit up his face and if possible made him even more beautiful. People were all around him, laughing and patting him on the back. It was apparent that everyone was happy to have him back.
Her secret could make this all come crashing down once again.
And then she knew, she would never get the chance to love him. The pain in her chest caught her off guard, making her gasp for air.
Joslyn spoke again, pulling back Callie’s fractured attention. “And I hear we also have you to thank for breathing life back into that boy.”
Callie looked at Joslyn’s smile and it felt like the entire world was crashing down around her. Her cheeks warmed, and she choked on the words coming out of her mouth.
“Oh, I’m not so sure about that.” She rubbed her neck, trying to relieve the tension. “Eve, could I talk to you for a minute, please?” She needed to leave now. She knew it was cowardly and leaving Eve and the rest of them to handle the fall out was the last thing she wanted to do. But she was fading fast and her sister was right, this was going to destroy her. Her mind was suddenly filled with racing thoughts:
This was not her family and she had done nothing wrong to get herself to this day.
This was not her family.
She was not to blame for this.
This was not her family.
This was not her responsibility.
Trey was not hers.
The world began to tilt. Her breathing was rushed and shallow.
“Sure, honey. Can you go into the kitchen and grab those extra forks from the table and I’ll be right in?”
“Sorry, Mama, I’ve been waiting to show this pretty lady off. Do you mind if I steal her?” Trey teased as he slipped an arm around Callie’s waist. She leaned into him, taking a slow deep breath.
“Oh no, you guys go. I can get my own forks,” Eve said as she and her friends smiled.
“Come on,” Trey whispered, threading his fingers through hers and pulling her behind him.
Trey pulled Callie around the corner of the house. “Are you okay? You look half scared to death.”
Callie tried to speak but her dry throat made it nearly impossible. She looked back toward where the party was going on. “It’s just… a lot of people,” she managed to get out just above a whisper.
“Do you want to leave? We could go down to my house and get away from all of this craziness.”
Callie glanced toward the group of Trey’s friends who had waited so long for this day.
She shook her head and took a step away from him. She needed to break this connection and now was a good time to start. This time tomorrow she would be gone, so there was no reason to encourage his interest. “No, I’m okay. Really. I just needed a breather and now I feel much better.” She forced herself to look up at him with a small smile.
His eyebrows pulled together as he tilted his head examining her. “Do you want to meet some of my friends?”
“Sure,” she answered, knowing she had to get away from Trey, and adding more people to the mix would make that easier. She walked out from behind the house and Trey followed.
“Everyone…” they all stopped and every single one of them looked right at her. This is not at all what she was prepared for. She had hoped for quiet introductions to individual people as she walked through the crowd and made her way over to Lauren. She should’ve known Trey would make a big announcement. “I would like you all to meet Callie. Callie, this is everyone.”
The few seconds of awkward silence set Callie’s nerves on fire. Every eye was on her as she struggled to stay standing. She smiled and waved shyly. And suddenly there was a collective greeting as people waved back, lifted their drinks toward her, and called out “Hi, Callie!”
“Hello, there.” Callie jumped as a very handsome, dark-haired man appeared in front of her and stretched out his hand. “My name is Jesse and I have known this loser since we were in grade school. Now, what makes a pretty, little thing like yourself want to hang around a guy like this?” Jesse was n
ot as tall as Trey but just as impressive in size. His light brown eyes against his tan skin were breathtaking and Callie couldn’t help but think how lucky the girls in this town were. If I grew up surrounded by men that looked like Jesse and Trey, I’d settle down, get married, and start having babies right away, too.
“Oh, no. I’m not with… I just came to help his mom with the flowers.”
“Really?” Jesse stretched the word out like it was a tease. “So, you and –”
“Back off, Jess. Give the girl some room,” Lauren said from behind him. He took a step to the side, letting Lauren through. She linked arms with Callie and led her away from an obviously irritated Trey and a satisfied Jesse who was very pleased with himself.
“Just breathe. You look like you’re about to pass out,” Lauren whispered, and she walked her over to another couple.
“This is Ginnie O’Brien. She is a cousin and lives one town over.”
She smiled warmly at Callie, “I hear you’re staying in the guesthouse. That place is beautiful, isn’t it? I remember when the boys were working on it with Uncle Jed. It was the talk of the entire county!”
“It’s like nothing I’ve ever seen before,” Callie spoke truthfully.
“And this is Chad Turnfell. His wife is over there chasing their twin toddlers around.”
Chad tipped his hat at Callie but quickly added, “Nice to meet you, Callie. Don’t mean to be rude, but I’m afraid if I don’t get over there to help my wife, I won’t be around for another harvest season.” Callie smiled and watched as he ran to help his exhausted-looking wife.
“His daddy and Jed went to high school together, and he played football with the boys,” Lauren explained as she handed Callie a bottle of water.
“Did you grow up with all of these people?” Callie asked as her eyes scanned the crowd.
There was a familiarity between all of them that she was unaccustomed to. She had never experienced anything like it. She had her parents and her sister – that was it. Most of her past was spent in the hospital or the beach house. A sheen of sweat broke out on her forehead.
Lauren smiled as she looked over the crowd of people fanned out around them. “Most of them, yes. Some went away to college and brought back husbands or wives, but for the most part, these are the people who have been in our lives for as long as I can remember.”
This is his life. Callie thought. This is what he’s missing. She took a quick drink of her water, trying to swallow past the huge lump in her throat.
“Are you sure you’re feeling okay?” Lauren worried as she led Callie to a seat. “I’m going to get you something to eat,” she said. “I think you’ve been working yourself too hard.” Callie wanted to tell her no, but she couldn’t find the words. Instead, she spotted Trey sitting across from her. She watched him… and he watched her, sending small smiles whenever he could catch her eye.
Lauren returned with a plate of food just as Chad came back with a brown-haired little boy tucked under his arm. “So, Trey... You going to be around to take over second base tomorrow?”
Trey shook his head as he looked at the ground. “Haven’t played for a long time, man.”
“Come on! We sure could use your glove tomorrow. This is our last year in the young men’s bracket and to tell you the truth, we might have our hands full with that college-aged team this year. Man, they have some strong boys on that team.”
Callie looked at Lauren, confused by this conversation as she took another sip of water. “Every year the guys play in a softball tournament. It’s a fundraiser to buy supplies for the elementary school kids.” She raised her voice so everyone could hear, “It’s supposed to be a charity tournament, but these yahoos treat it like the World Series playoffs.”
“Yes, he’s playing.” Jesse chimed in as he sat next to Trey on the hay bale. “Lauren, you know as well as anyone else, how important bragging rights are when it comes to this tournament. We have a four-year run and we aren’t about to lose it!”
“This is Caleb Williams and his beautiful wife, Becca.” Lauren introduced as the couple walked over. “They stood up with Jamie and me in our wedding and we did the same for them. Caleb was Jamie’s best friend.” Lauren looked at Callie as if she should understand what she was implying. They knew. They knew the truth of why she was here.
Callie’s eyes filled with tears as she stood and reached out for Becca’s hand first and then Caleb’s next, “So nice to meet you guys.”
Caleb wrapped his big hand around Callie’s. Talking in a hushed tone, he said, “We are so happy you’re here with us. I know it might be a little strange, but it makes us feel like a little part of Jamie is here with us.”
She forced a smile, nodding once at Caleb.
Her eyes shot over to Trey and once again, he smiled at her. That’s all it took for Callie to completely lose control. The rushing thoughts returned with a vengeance. This is his life. He should be here. I don’t belong here. This could never be my life. This will never be my life.
Callie dropped Caleb’s hand and took a few steps backward. “Lauren, I have to… I don’t feel so well.” Knowing she had to slow her breathing, she turned toward the guesthouse.
In 1, 2, 3… out 1, 2, 3… she counted in her head, trying to slow her breathing. In 1, 2, 3… his life… out 2, 3. In 2, 3… not mine… out 2, 3.
“Trey? Trey, you better get over here!” Lauren shouted. “Callie, sweetheart? Are you okay?”
Caleb led Callie back to where she’d been sitting before. “Just sit down, darlin’, everything will be okay.”
“Callie, what’s wrong?” Trey asked worriedly, kneeling in front of her.
“It’s all wrong,” she said as she grabbed his hands, squeezing them tightly.
“You need to slow your breathing or you’re going to pass out,” Andy encouraged from behind Trey. She looked toward him and froze. Everyone stood behind him. Watching her, waiting to see what was going to happen.
“Callie, baby, can you hear me?” He sounded like he was a million miles away. She blinked slowly as she returned her gaze to him.
“Lauren, go get Dr. Johnson. I think he’s down by the barn,” Trey ordered.
“In 2, 3… not my life… out 2, 3. In 2, 3… he should be here, out 2, 3,” she repeated.
“Shh, it’s okay. I’m here.”
Callie’s vision began to blur and she clutched onto Trey even harder.
“Screw this.” Trey slipped one arm under her shoulders and one under her knees.
“Jess! Andy!” he barked.
“Right behind you,” Jesse responded as the three of them ran toward the guesthouse.
Jesse sprinted ahead of them, yanking open the door. Trey ran inside, yelling for someone to get the doctor and his mom before taking the steps to the loft two at a time until he was at the edge of the bed.
Andy followed him up with a wet washcloth and a glass of water.
“Doc is running across the yard now and your Mom is on his heels,” Jesse hollered from below.
“What the hell happened?” Andy asked.
“I don’t know, but she was mumbling something about this not being her life. What do you suppose that means?”
Callie stretched, feeling like she’d been hit by a truck. She grimaced, her head pounding like someone had taken a hammer to her head. She rolled to the side, groaning as she pushed against her temples.
“Callie? Are you okay?”
She blinked several times, trying to focus her eyes, even though she knew that voice.
She pushed herself into a sitting position as she scooted herself back toward the headboard. Trey stood, tucking pillows behind her.
“Thanks,” she said softly as he handed her some Tylenol and a glass of water from the bedside table.
“How are you feeling?”
She downed the pills and he took the glass from her. She sighed deeply, “Stupid.”
“What? Why?”
“I know what happened, Trey. I’ve had pan
ic attacks my entire life.”
“But I don’t understand why you feel stupid.”
“The very first time I meet all these people in your life, and I shut down like some sort of social outcast.”
“Stop it,” he scolded as he sat down on the edge of the bed next to her.
“No, seriously, listen to me,” she grabbed his hands and he laced his fingers with hers. “What you have with those people…” she swallowed hard, “what your brother had with them…” Trey’s eyes found hers, “That’s special. Not everyone gets that. I know it’s your normal but believe me, it’s something that most people dream of but never actually get. You need to cherish those relationships. Promise me. Promise me you’ll do that.”
Trey swallowed hard and nodded his head. “I will, I promise.”
She fell back against the headboard, blinking slowly. “Good. That’s a good thing.”
Suddenly the smell of food wafted its way to her nose and her stomach growled.
Trey chuckled, “Are you hungry?”
“I guess I am,” she confessed, grabbing at her middle section and blushing.
Trey held out a hand to her. “Well, come on. Some people are waiting for you.”
She accepted his hand and pulled herself up and off the bed. She tried to straighten her wild hair but ended up grabbing a band and pulling it up into a messy bun.
When they reached the steps, Callie came to a halt. They were all there – Jesse, Andy, Lauren, even Caleb and Becca. They were in the living room, talking in hushed voices.
“Why are they here?” she asked quietly, taking a step back, trying to avoid being seen. She wasn’t that hungry.
“The princess is awake,” Jesse announced, and she knew there was no hiding now. She stepped closer to the stairs and forced a smiled as Jesse raised a beer bottle in her direction.
Trey lowered his head and whispered in her ear, “They’re here for you. They wanted to make sure you were okay.”
Lauren rushed to the bottom of the stairs, “Callie, are you feeling better?”
Callie managed another smile, more to make Lauren feel better than to actually reflect how she was feeling, “I’m much better. Sorry if I scared you,” she gave Lauren a hug when she reached the bottom. “Sorry everyone…really. I didn’t mean to ruin the party.”
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