Live Like You Mean It

by Ava Stone

  Brody shook his head. “No, no, no. There was a no psychotic bitches rule.”

  “Which meant no Kelsey,” Daniel added dryly.

  Cade grumbled something under his breath as he retrieved his sticks from the top of his floor tom. I had no idea what he said, and I probably didn’t want to know, not considering the scowl on his face.

  Jason started toward the unit once more, stopping when he reached my side. Then he squeezed my arm as though to make sure I really was fine, like I’d said. His brow was pinched and his jaw was set.

  He looked a little like his dad just then. He seemed more uncomfortable than I’d ever seen him, and I’d known Jason Cole the better part of my life. I’d known him since his family moved across the street when we were kids and he and Mike found kindred spirits in each other. Jason and his family had gone on vacation with ours, spent holidays with us, and he’d even been my date to the senior prom after Aiden had been born and I was a pariah no one wanted to be seen with.

  “Saw your mom today,” I started, hoping to put him a little at ease. “She looked really good.” And she did look better than she had the last couple times I’d seen her. Not that anyone ever looked good on Chemo days, which is when I usually saw her since she didn’t make brunch all that often anymore.

  “Yeah,” Jason agreed with a quick nod, though it didn’t seem like he heard a word I said. Then he thrust his chin in Brody’s direction. “Word with you.” He didn’t wait for a response. He just started back toward his car.

  Brody winked at me, making my belly flip again. He was good at that. And I was pretty sure I blushed. Then he followed Jason until the two of them were too far away for me to overhear them.

  Daniel shot a look in my direction. “So, uh, you sing, Leah?” he asked, in a not-so-subtle attempt to distract me from the two guys, just out of earshot.

  “No musical abilities whatsoever.” I shook my head. “But I can dance.” Even if it had been a while.

  “What the fuck, Brody?” Jason snarled.

  “Nice of you to show up for once,” I countered.

  “Fuck you.” He narrowed his eyes on me.

  Jason Cole didn’t intimidate me in the least. He might have been a few inches taller than me, but I was tougher in all the ways that counted. “Look, are we gonna play or not?”

  “What are you doing with her?” His eyes flicked toward Leah, and a knot formed in my gut. Had there been there something between them? They’d known each other a long time.

  “Nothing.” I sized him up. Was he jealous or something? Was that what this was about?

  “Nothing?” He snorted. “Then do her a favor and walk away.”

  “Fuck you.” Even if he was jealous, choirboy Jason wasn’t about to tell me what I should or shouldn’t do or with who. “Yours is the last opinion I give a shit about.”

  “She’s got her life back on track and the last thing she needs is you fucking it all up.”

  “Thanks for the vote of confidence, man.”

  Jason shook his head. “You know she has a kid, right?”

  Which was still something that bothered me, not that I was about to say as much to Jason, especially not right now. “She told me about her son.”

  “Aiden.”

  “What?” I frowned at him. I’d never liked Jason, but I usually understood what the hell he was talking about.

  “Aiden. Her son’s name is Aiden,” he stressed.

  “Ok.” I did know that. It wasn’t like Leah had kept that information a secret from me.

  “I just thought it might be harder for you to fuck up the kid’s life if you knew his name. Realized he was an actual person.”

  So I wasn’t allowed to see Leah because she had a son? I was going to fuck up the kid’s life with just my existence? Sanctimonious prick. “I’m not the asshole you think I am,” I growled.

  “You’re exactly the asshole I think you are, Brody.”

  I really wanted to crash my fist into his smug face. I even balled my hand up and bit back the pain that pulsed from my stitches. But knocking the jackass’s teeth out wouldn’t make Leah very happy, I was pretty sure. And I’d worked too hard to get this far with her. I wasn’t about to fuck it up because of Jason. “Luckily, I don’t have to prove shit to you.” I started back toward the unit and called over my shoulder, “Are you singing today or are you gonna let us down like usual?”

  Leah’s eyes widened as I approached her, and concern flashed in her gray depths. “Everything all right?”

  As long as Jason didn’t talk her out of seeing me, everything was fine. But I needed to reassure myself that wouldn’t happen. “Sure,” I whispered as I cupped her jaw and pressed my lips to hers. “Just don’t go anywhere, ok?” I lifted my head and stared into her pretty eyes.

  “We’re in the middle of nowhere, Brody.” She smiled, and I felt it in the depths of my soul. “Where do you think I’m gonna go?”

  I didn’t know, but the idea scared the shit out of me. I shook that thought off, however, and I winked at her instead of answering. I felt Jason’s eyes on my back, and from the look on Leah’s face, he must have been giving me the stink eye.

  “All right,” Daniel began, taking charge like he often did. “We’re all here, let’s do this.”

  Leah backed away from me and dropped down onto the futon. She leaned back against her arms, stretched her legs out in front of her and crossed her ankles. She looked like she might if she was sunbathing at the beach. She looked fucking gorgeous.

  The rest of practice went off without a hitch. Jason glared at me like he wanted to kill me whenever he looked in my direction, but I shrugged him off. He sounded good. He hit the right chords. The rest of us were in sync.

  And the prettiest girl in Wheston was smiling at me.

  We rushed from The Closet all the way home so I could get ready for work and spend a little time with Aiden before I had to rush out the door. Brody pulled into the driveway behind my car and he looked over at me. God, just the intensity of his eyes could make me burst into flames.

  “You’ll come by tonight?” he asked.

  It had been hard to think about anything else ever since he’d mentioned it back at the storage unit.

  It had been forever – forever – since I’d had sex. I used to really like it. Of course, I used to look a lot better undressed in those days too. Your body never really looks the same after having a baby, at least mine didn’t. Gone was my flat stomach and toned thighs. I mean, I looked all right with clothes on, but off…

  “Leah?” His blue eyes darkened just a bit. “You ok?”

  “Oh, sure,” I lied. I mean, there’s nothing quite so terrifying as worrying about what Mr. Sexy Bassist would think when he finally saw me without clothes, right?

  He didn’t look convinced by my lie, and he frowned slightly. “So you’ll come by tonight?”

  God, I did want him. Truly, I’d wanted him ever since that first night in the ER. Even if I didn’t want him to look too closely at me. Maybe he’d keep the lights off. That thought lifted my morale a little.

  So I feigned a cheerful smile and nodded. “Yeah, right after work.” What were the odds there was some cutting edge trial drug at the hospital tonight that would make me look like I used to, once upon a time? If they needed a guinea pig to try it out, I’d be there front and center.

  Brody leaned closer to me and brushed his lips against mine. Wow. I couldn’t help but sigh. If I could just spend the rest of the day with him like that. But I couldn’t. I had a million things I had to do, and it didn’t matter how intensely those blue eyes of his focused on me or what it did to my insides. “See ya.” His voice came out all sexy and rumbly and almost made me shiver.

  “See ya,” I echoed then slid out of his Jeep before I lost my mind and threw my arms around his neck. I made my way to my front door, determined not to look back over my shoulder. There was no need to let him know how much he affected me. He probably knew anyway, but I wasn’t about to confirm h
is suspicions.

  I cracked the front door open and was relieved not to find Winston sitting at my feet. So I rushed inside and shut the door behind me before the cat realized he’d missed another opportunity for escape.

  “Mommy!” Aiden called from the staircase and I grinned at my little boy.

  Of course, it would be hard not to grin, not with the lingering memory of Brody’s kisses so fresh in my mind. But seeing Aiden always made me smile. My little angel. “Hi sweetheart,” I said. “Did you have a good nap?”

  He twisted up his face as though I’d suggested he eat a plate full of broccoli. “No more nap.”

  Stubborn little boy. I shook my head as I laughed. “No, not another nap, Aiden.” Then I gestured him downstairs. “Come on, come see Mommy.”

  He scooted down the steps on his bottom, hitting each step with a thud that made him laugh. So innocent. He was so happy and innocent, I wished he could stay just like that forever. As soon as he reached the bottom step, he rushed toward me with a familiar blue book in his hands. “Winston book,” he said, pushing Dr. Seuss’ The Cat in the Hat up toward me.

  “You want me to read Winston’s book?” At this point I could recite the whole thing without having to crack it open. Mike had made the off-handed comment a few months ago that Winston looked like the Cat in the Hat and I’d been doomed to read the book multiple times every day since. Not that I truly minded. How could I when the story made Aiden so happy that he’d cackle with glee during each re-telling? “Ok. Let’s go into the TV room.”

  I scooped him up in my arms and started down the hallway, when my mother’s voice stopped me in my tracks. “How was practice?” She stepped from the kitchen dusting her hands on her jeans.

  “Great.” I smiled. “They were really great, and Jason sounded awesome.” Even if he was angry the whole time. Not that he had any reason to be.

  Mom nodded and then said, “Well, Brody seemed nicer than I expected.”

  I wasn’t about to ask what she’d expected. Because, most likely, it was the complete opposite of nice, and I’d really rather not hear my mom’s criticisms aloud just then. Not when I was so happy. “Well, he’s planning on brunch tomorrow.” I shifted Aiden from my left hip to my right. “Though I can’t imagine why you invited him.”

  My mom shrugged. “Why not? If he’s gonna be around, we might as well get to know him.”

  Because as happy as I was when I was with him, as much as I wanted the carefree life he seemed to embody, I really hadn’t known him all that long. Asking him to brunch, inviting him into my childhood home, having him meet Aiden…It just seemed too much, too fast.

  “But—” her eyes narrowed on me “—if he brings one drug into this house…”

  “Oh my God, Mother.” I winced. “Just because he lived in Amsterdam…”

  “And he’s a musician,” she threw in.

  I laughed. This whole conversation was completely ridiculous. “So’s Jason. I haven’t ever seen you ask him for a urine sample.”

  She folded her arms across her chest like she always did when I had a point and she didn’t want to acknowledge it. “Not one drug, Leah.”

  “Yeah.” I brushed past her. “I’ll tell him to leave all of his heroin in the car, Mom.”

  “Hare-win,” Aiden echoed. “Hare-win, hare-win.”

  Perfect. All I needed was someone to overhear Aiden’s new favorite word so they could wonder what a three-year-old knew about heroin. And it was all my fault. I shouldn’t have said the word in front of him. He always picked up on the one thing I wished he would forget.

  “Let’s read Winston’s book, ok?” I said, hoping to distract him as I dropped onto the couch.

  “Sun did not shine,” Aiden started reciting the first lines of the book before I could even open it. Apparently, I wasn’t the only one who knew it by heart.

  I’d showered and changed clothes, opting for the sexiest bra and panties I owned before devouring a quick dinner, kissing Aiden goodbye and rushing out the door for the hospital. Then I breezed into the ER a whole five minutes early.

  Toni grinned from ear to ear when she spotted me. “So?” she prodded as she pushed out of the chair. “How did it go?”

  “How did what go?” I asked innocently, knowing full well that she’d never let me get away with that.

  “Don’t pretend with me, Leah Willett. Out with it.” Her brow lifted in glee. “How did it go with your mom and Aiden? How was practice? Spill everything.”

  I shook my head. “He hasn’t met Aiden. Mom liked him well enough. And practice was awesome. He’s even sexier when he’s playing.”

  Toni touched a hand to her heart and sighed. “Wait.” She shook her head. “How did he miss Aiden?”

  “He was still napping when Brody got there, and…” I winced a bit as I reached the desk.

  “And?” Toni’s dark eyes leveled on me as though she was trying to figure me out.

  I shrugged. “I don’t know. It makes me jittery. It’s one thing to force Mom on him, but…” I wasn’t sure how to explain it. But Brody meeting Aiden just seemed bigger, scarier than the thing with Mom.

  “You think he’s gonna take one look at Aiden and run for the hills?” Toni’s gaze softened.

  Maybe. I shrugged again. Maybe I thought Aiden would scare him off. Maybe I thought Aiden wouldn’t like Brody. Or maybe I was afraid he’d really like Brody and if things didn’t work out… It was all pretty terrifying.

  Toni squeezed my hand. “He knows about Aiden and he’s still hanging around. If he was gonna run, he’d have already run. Don’t get nervous. Just…” She squished up her nose. “You know, relax.”

  “Yeah, easier said than done,” I muttered.

  “Well,” she said as she reached for her purse, “the football game just ended and we lost. So everyone should be down enough to make it a slow night for you.”

  Was it bad that we were never sad when Wheston lost a game? Whenever we won, people would drink more than usual and end up doing stupid shit that would land them in the ER. Losing usually took the wind out of everyone’s sails. I grinned. “Perfect. I can get some studying done before I meet Brody then.”

  Toni’s face lit up. “You’re seeing him tonight?”

  My smile only grew.

  “And did you wear the sexy underwear?”

  Damn if my face didn’t sting. I must have been three shades redder than normal. “Toni!”

  “You did,” she laughed. “I can tell.” She breezed past me on the way out of waiting room. “Have a good night,” she said over her shoulder.

  “You too,” I called after her.

  Before I could even sit down, my phone chirped with a text. Shit. I thought I had it on vibrate. If Abby heard that… I rummaged through my purse and snatched up my phone before it could chirp again. The display screen was lit up with a message from my brother.

  U ok?

  Geez. Had something bad happened? I couldn’t remember the last time Mike had texted me anything. General communication wasn’t his strong suit.

  Yeah. Why? I quickly turned the ringer off on my phone and dropped into the receptionist chair, staring at the screen, waiting for his reply.

  Brody?

  I glared at the message. So Jason got in touch with Mike as soon as the game was over, huh? There wasn’t any other reason I’d get this out-of-the-blue message from my brother otherwise. Well-meaning or not, I didn’t need Jason getting Mike all riled up for no reason. I’m fine

  Really? My brother is a guy of very few words.

  Yes

  Someone walked through the sliding glass doors just then, and I slid my phone into my pocket. A panicked mother carrying a little girl whose face was all scraped up like she’d slid on the pavement rushed toward my desk.

  My phone vibrated in my pocket, but I ignored it as I nodded at the woman and her daughter before me. “Hi.”

  “Sh-she fell off her bike,” the woman said, her voice catching as she spoke. She was not a v
eteran of emergency rooms. You could always tell as soon as someone walked in.

  “Oh.” I frowned in response. The poor woman. There was nothing quite so scary as when your child was hurt. “They’ll get her all cleaned up. She’ll be fine.” Then I handed her a clipboard with an intake form. “Just fill this out and bring it back with your insurance card, ok?”

  She juggled her daughter and the clipboard and made her way to the first seat in the waiting room.

  My phone vibrated again. I sighed as I retrieved it from my pocket once more. Three messages from Mike lit up my screen.

  The guys a dick

  My defenses went right up. Mike had never even met Brody. It wasn’t fair to judge him based on Jason’s opinion, even if they had been best friends for fifteen years. Besides, I didn’t need Mike’s permission or blessing to date Brody. He hadn’t asked for mine in regards to Meghan.

  R u there? And then… Don’t ignore me

  I glared at my phone. And he called Brody a dick. He oughta take a good long look in the mirror. I typed a response. I’m @ work, Mike, not ignoring u. Mom met Brody & she liked him. U can meet him tomorrow @ brunch. U can make up ur own mind

  Brunch?

  I’m @ work, Mike!! And he was lucky I was. If he was within reach, I might try to strangle him. What I did and with who was none of his business.

  I mean, Brody was the first guy in forever that I wanted to spend any time with. The first guy in forever who made me laugh. The first guy in forever who got my heart pounding and made life fun again. No duties. No responsibilities. No obligations. Just fun. Adrenaline pumping, wind rushing through my hair fun. And I didn’t need Mike to try and take that away from me.

  Sry

  Yeah, I was sorry too. Sorry he couldn’t find any vowels on his smartphone. I shoved my phone back in my pocket. And it wasn’t a moment too soon either. Abby came up from behind me and frowned slightly. Shit. I prayed she hadn’t seen the phone. “Hey, Abby,” I said brightly, not that it usually mattered how I sounded whenever I greeted her.

  “Oh.” She frowned at me. “Didn’t realize it was so late. Toni’s already gone?”