With my carry-bag in one hand, I unlatched the door, then opened it a heartbeat later.
I saw the three girls standing in a crescent before the door, looking as though they couldn’t decide on whether to be worried, impatient, or eager to witness my grand debut – though Shirohime looked distracted and lost in her own world. However, that all changed when I fearfully stepped out of the stall.
Felicia’s eyes widened and she lost her cartoon cat grin in a heartbeat, growing solemn in the process.
Angela’s eyes narrowed slightly and she regarded me pensively.
Shirohime looked stunned and a complicated look spread across her face as her mouth hung slightly open.
I had trouble finding my voice under the weight of their reactions. “…what…?”
Angela recovered first, then took me by the arm, guiding me toward the washbasins. “Take a look….”
With her help, I walked anxiously to the wall with the wide mirror mounted above the washbasins.
I looked at the nervous girl in the mirror, and she looked back at me.
“Oh shit….”
My worst fears about myself had been confirmed and I started succumbing to the revolting brew of emotions concocted in my stomach.
“You can’t be serious…is this all it takes for the male me to disappear?”
In the mirror, Angela’s reflection swallowed visibly though quietly. “Well, we can safely say the guys won’t be laughing at you.”
Beside her, Felicia studied my reflection with wide eyes. “No, they’ll be lining up to ask her out on a date.”
As the words left her lips, I received a final warning from my stomach. In a hurry, I dropped the carry-bag and ran back into the stall, throwing up the toilet seat lid in time to heave the contents of my stomach into the bowl. For a minute or so, I voided bile and fluid into the bowl, a part of me noting that I’d skipped breakfast yet hadn’t felt any hunger during the day. When I stopped retching, I sagged onto the floor, and Angela flushed the bowl for me. She and Felicia raised me onto my feet, and then half carried me to the washbasins where they helped me clean up.
After rinsing my mouth a few times, I wiped at it with a hand, and gave my reflection another look.
“Shit…I look like her…a lot like her.” I sighed, the truth having caught up to me. “I look too much like her. It’s just not right.”
“Like who?” Angela asked.
I washed my mouth again, then splashed my face with water, before staggering over to the paper towel dispenser rather than the air blower, and pulled out a couple of sheets, using them to dry my face and lips.
The three girls were staring at me intently as they awaited an answer.
I exhaled heavily a few of times before binning the paper towels, and then met their eyes.
“My sister.”
Angela bit her lower lip, Felicia frowned, and Shirohime regarded me with a complex expression as though she was reevaluating me.
After a couple of extra breaths, I pressed on. “I look a lot like my sister when she was around my age.” Giving it some more thought, I shook my head and said, “I guess I look more like a sister to her than a younger brother.”
I felt like the evil queen who’d asked her enchanted mirror who was the fairest of them all only to receive unpleasant news, but my appearance as a girl wasn’t the only truth the mirror had forced me to face.
“I guess this really proves it,” I acknowledged aloud, starting to feel sick all over again but for a different reason.
“This proves what?” Angela tentatively inquired.
I cleared my throat but I was only stalling to recover a little more of my composure.
“It proves there’s something seriously wrong with me.”
Chapter 8.
- I -
For a short while none of the girls responded until Angela stepped closer to me.
“Ronin, what do you mean?”
“Look at me,” I said to her. “What do you see?”
She swallowed quietly. “I see a girl.”
I pursed my lips tightly, then pulled out my phone. I thumbed through the menus, chose a gallery folder that I hadn’t accessed in a long time, and then offered Angela my phone.
She took and looked at the images it contained. Felicia sidled over to her, and after some hesitation Shirohime did too.
“That’s my family.” It was a little difficult to get the words out, what my throat feeling clamped by icy steel fingers and a painful emptiness building up in my chest. “Do I look like my father?”
Angela looked up at me. “No….”
Felicia’s eye were wide. “You look like your sister. Wow, she was really pretty.” She bit her lower lip before adding, “Your family has good genes. I mean, your dad is a hunk, and your mum’s quite pretty. But your sister is quite hot.”
I felt a frown cross my face but then dispelled it with a soft snort. “My sister was quite popular in school. I remember that much about her.”
Shirohime was studying me intently with a silent gaze and an expression that spoke volumes. “Are you really a boy?”
Taking a deep breath that made me shudder, I nodded back at her. “I have all the right plumbing. I just don’t look like one.”
“Perhaps you’re intersexed,” Angela suggested.
This time I shook my head. “No. The doctors said I’m normal in that respect. However, they said my hormonal chemistry is off. I was given medication, and I’ve been on it this past year, but as you can see nothing’s improved. I told my sister about it in an email and she pulled some strings and sent me to see someone at the Telos Corporation medical research wing and they gave me other stuff to take after scanning my body for a day.” I leaned my body against the wall behind me and laughed nervously. “But nothing’s changed. Every day, I look more like a girl than before. One day I’ll wake up and find that it’s all gone and I’ll have boobs.”
Shirohime folded her arms under her impressive pair. “Do you have a problem with boobs?”
“Not if they’re on someone else.”
Angela held up a hand interrupting Shirohime before she could retort. “What about going back to the doctors?” Angela gently asked.
“I have an appointment this week. But, I’m not sure if that will matter now as things have changed—”
“Princess!” the ghost warned sharply in my ears.
Startled I gaped a little before closing my mouth silently and then holding my tongue.
Had I said too much, I wondered. Why did the ghost suddenly sound so worried?
Angela looked puzzled. “What do you mean?”
“Ah…it’s nothing.” I pushed away from the wall. “Forget about it,” I added as I held out my hand, reaching out for my phone. “We’re wasting time here.”
Angela returned the device to me, no less puzzled, but agreed with me. “You’re right. Before you walk out there, we need to get you ready.”
“Ready?”
As I pocketed my phone, I watched Angela reach into a dress skirt pocket and pull out a small black fabric bag.
Placing it on the bench running above the hand basins, Angela beckoned me over. “Whether you look like your sister or not, we still need to tidy you up. No self-respecting girl would walk out looking like you do right now.”
I felt irritation flame run through me. “Angela, I’m not a girl. Period.”
“I know you’re not, but anyone who saw you now would be hard pressed to think otherwise.”
I glanced at the floor. “No argument there….”
“Ronin, I know you’re sensitive about your appearance, and I know it probably stabs the heart of your male pride and ego, but there’s no denying what you see or I see, or anyone else will see for that matter.”
She wasn’t telling me something new, and it certainly wasn’t something I needed to hear, yet though it was true it was hard to bear.
“I know that, but—”
“There are no buts,” she stated fi
rmly. “Are you going to see this through or not? You have to decide now.”
The ghost spoke gently in my ears. “Your friend is correct. This is where you must decide which path you will follow.”
“Path? What are you talking about?”
“Hmm…perhaps that wasn’t the right analogy. Let us say instead, this is where you must do what a man must do and that is to follow through on your words.”
Angela was frowning at me, as were Felicia and Shirohime. “Ronin?”
I realized I’d spoken aloud, and quickly waved my hands. “Sorry, just thinking aloud.”
The sound of someone entering the toilet distracted us, drawing our attention to the entrance and to a couple of second-year high school girls walking in.
At sight of the four of us, and quick to read the mood, they paused for a moment. “Sorry, are we interrupting something?”
Felicia stepped forward with a fast smile on her lips. “No, nothing at all. Just girl talk.”
Disappointment overwhelmed my relief when the girls hardly batted an eyelid at my appearance, and my spirits sank to a new low, puddling around my feet. If I could slip under their radar then I truly felt all hope was lost for me. But then I noticed one of the senior girls, a brunette with curly bangs and short hair that brushed her shoulders, slow down and give me a long studious look.
“You’re a mess. What happened to you?”
I started to reply, and though my voice had yet to break I feared it would reveal my true gender, so I replied with a weak smile and equally lackluster shrug.
Felicia jumped to the rescue, or so I believed when she wrapped an arm around my shoulders and hugged me against her. Unfortunately, the next words gushing forth from her mouth sounded like a death knell to my male identity.
“Oh, she’s having some love trouble,” Felicia explained, sounding like a caring friend. “Her boyfriend likes girls with big breasts, and she hasn’t developed there yet.”
I pictured myself turning a pale shade of grey.
Yes, with friends like her who needs enemies? Did that make her my frenemy?
The brunette and her companion stared at me from head to toes, before planting a hand on a hip and scowled. “Like seriously? Can’t they look beyond our chests?”
The girl beside her, a rather fetching blonde with a light sprinkling of freckles on her cheeks and a mane of long curly hair, pushed her friend lightly. “I don’t see you complaining when they’re talking to your chest.”
The girl blanched before blushing hotly. “What?”
Her blonde companion l rolled her eyes, then cocked her head at me. “I think you’re cute. Maybe work on it a little more and make him see what he’s missing if just stares at your chest.”
“Or dump the prick,” her friend opinioned, earning her another roll of the eyes. “You can do better.”
Felicia was nodding in agreement. “Oh, I’ve been telling her the same thing but she just won’t listen.”
Even if I wasn’t turning grey, I was certainly becoming faint. As much as I wanted to shove my fist into Felicia’s mouth and shut her up, I barely had the strength to stand.
To my relief, and quite incomprehensibly, Shirohime intervened with a timely save before I silenced Felicia with a punch to the gut. “Cass,” she said, “We need to hurry.”
The two seniors glanced at each other, and the blonde girl said, “Best of luck.”
I managed to eek out a nod and a trembling smile, before the two girls walked into empty stalls and closed the doors behind them. But suddenly the brunette opened the door and stuck her head out of the stall.
“By the way, your boyfriend wouldn’t happen to be that cute first year standing outside, would he?”
I had some trouble digesting her question, then wondered if she meant Tobias.
Felicia charged ahead. “The tall blonde boy?”
The brunette nodded, and realizing my guess was on the money, I felt myself turning green instead of grey. However, when I tried to deny it my throat clammed up and I couldn’t make a sound. I felt as though I’d swallowed a giant egg that was now stuck in my larynx.
Felicia noticed my inability to speak, and quickly said, “No, not really. They’re just close friends.”
“Oh, I see.” The brunette smiled. “In that case, is he available?”
Abruptly my throat cleared, and I took a step forward while shaking my quickly. “No, no. He’s not available.”
The girl arched her eyebrows at me. “Protesting a little too much aren’t you?”
Realizing what she was implying, a brisk shiver of revulsion ran through me, surprising the brunette girl, and I quickly added, “He’s just a friend—no, a classmate. Nothing more. But he’s already seeing someone, so he’s not available.”
Shirohime took a step between the girl and I. “If you must know, he’s with me.” Then she folded her arms under her bust with deliberate care and tossed her hair back as though challenging the brunette to argue with her.
From behind the other stall the blonde girl complained, “Hey, you have a boyfriend, Jasmine. Stop trying to steal someone else’s!”
The brunette, Jasmine, gave Shirohime a sour look before shrugging her off blithely. “Well, thanks for telling me.” With that, she promptly disappeared back into the stall and closed the door with a noticeable bang.
When I could breathe again, I noticed the trio was staring at me in confusion.
Felicia whispered softly, while touching her throat, “How did you do that?”
“Do what?” I whispered back.
“How did you change your voice?” Angela questioned in a whisper as well. “You sound more like a girl than before.”
I realized she had a valid question, as my voice had risen slightly in pitch, and sounded noticeably more in the female register.
“That was my doing,” the ghost revealed. “Let us say that I can help you in other ways too.”
“…what…?” I blurted out under my breath, feeling a renewed undercurrent of fear course through me.
“I can make adjustments to your physical composition. Not much, but enough to assist you in your quest.”
“…huh…?”
“We can discuss this later. The clock is ticking after all. And please, try to relax. I told you before, Princess, I’m not here to hurt you but to guide you. We are stuck together for the conceivable future so let us work together to your benefit.”
I found myself at a loss for words, unable to fathom how to reply to the ghost, then I saw Angela cross her arms, and stared at me through narrowed eyes. Felicia and Shirohime were also regarding me with suspicious looks. Hoping to divert their thoughts, I took a number of quick breaths, then walked up to Angela and turned to face the mirror.
“I’m in your care,” I whispered to her, fighting down the renewed nausea swirling about in my chest and stomach as I regarded my reflection in the mirror that resembled a seasick girl.
If there was one positive to draw out of this day, it was the belief my decision to seek more medical attention was the correct choice to make, because the more I looked at myself in the mirror, the more I was convinced there was something seriously wrong with my body. However, when I factored in the ghost and its disturbing revelations, I wondered if there was any doctor on the planet that could help me now, especially if the ghost was telling the truth and I had indeed died…and somehow been resurrected.
I closed my eyes, not wanting to see myself as Angela applied some of her magic to my face. I was already convincing as I was, but under her ministrations I was becoming something I didn’t want to see.
Reaching up, I rubbed my chest, hoping to alleviate the itch spreading across it, but every so often a pang lanced through it and I held back a wince or Angela risked poking me in the eye.
- II -
When I left the toilets, Tobias’s reaction at sight of me was as expected.
It mirrored mine after I saw the results of Angela’s magic. For a girl who didn’t we
ar much makeup herself, she certainly was an artisan.
Shock, disbelief, then a mixture of emotions that included a liberal amount of disgust, that served to compound the self-loathing I was already enduring, and yet I couldn’t decide if some of that disdain he projected was directed at himself. Nor could I understand why he was blushing as his gaze roamed over me numerous times.
He made several attempts to say something, then shook his head, swallowed hard, and remained silent.
I snorted. “Yeah, that’s pretty much how I feel too.”
I started walking past him, but he planted a hand on my chest, stopping me. For some unexplained reason a pronounced tingle ran through me and I gasped in surprise, but that was almost lost in the aftermath of Tobias jerking his hand back as though burned.
I failed to restrain myself from glaring at him. “What the Hell’s the matter with you?”
Tobias was staring his palm and my chest, but then his eyes widened in disbelief. “You’re asking me? What the Hell’s the matter with you? Have you looked at yourself? And what’s with your voice?”
Reflexively I touched my throat, then winced as a sharp pang struck my chest.
Damn it, that hurt. Feels like I’m about to have a heart attack.
The pain spread across my pectorals and then made my boy nipples ache. It lasted for several seconds and drew a loud gasp out of me before fading away slowly.
What the Hell is going on?
“Ronin, are you all right?” Tobias questioned and started reaching out to me again, but then caught himself at the last moment.
“I’m fined,” I wheezed out, grateful the pain was ebbing, but it was superseded by an odd sensation I couldn’t describe, and the odd impression that my chest felt heavier as though rearranged.
Tobias pointed at me, but he addressed the girls behind me. “Is he wearing a padded bra?”
I looked at him sharply but Angela replied before I could.
“Absolutely,” she assured him calmly. “Have you ever seen a boy with a Bee-cup before? The bra cups are shaped to give the impression of fullness. Trust me. He’s all boy underneath.”
“…is that so….”
I threw him a glare for sounding doubtful, but he was preoccupied and ignored me.
Gun Princess Royale: Awakening the Princess, Book One Page 21