Felicia started to chuckled. “Hey Stud, are you disappointed?”
Ignoring her as he’d ignored me, Tobias looked down at his hand, flexing his fingers a few times before regarding my chest with black suspicion.
Feeling self-conscious and fearing he would suddenly grope me, I tossed away my glare and crossed my arms across my chest, realizing too late that I was reacting much like a girl being brazenly ogled. “Will you stop staring at me like that?” I demanded. “It’s giving me the creeps.”
Tobias blanched while I willfully restrained the urge to rub my chest, wondering why the bra felt different under the blouse of my dress all of a sudden.
The ghost muttered, “Princess, please stop doing that.”
“…doing what…?” I whispered through the corner of my mouth.
“You’re making the adjustment process more difficult than it needs to be.”
What adjustment? I wondered, but my thoughts and attention were yanked back to Tobias when he folded his arms sharply and growled, “I’m going to ask you one last time. Are you really going through with this?”
His expression and tone made me feel uncomfortable in my own skin. Clearing my throat, I said, “Absolutely, but I’m never going to do this again.” Taking a deep breath, I let it out in a heavy sigh. “And Mercy Haddaway isn’t worth this much trouble. No woman is worth this much trouble. Period.”
I wholeheartedly believed that was the truth, but this wasn’t about Mercy Haddaway. This was about The Game, and my dying in it.
Hefting the straps of my carry-bag a little higher on my shoulder, I winced and gasped sharply in pain as the strap brushed across my chest.
Damn that hurts. Why the Hell is my chest so sensitive.
Tobias half stepped forward as did the girls, but he stopped short of touching my shoulder like he once would have. “Hey, what’s wrong with you?” he asked.
“Nothing, I’m fine,” I replied, squeezing my eyes shut against the agony, grateful when I felt it faded away quickly.
The ghost suddenly spoke up, startling me. “Princess, I suggest you give the young man your bag. As a gentleman, I sincerely believe it is his duty to carry it for you. Besides, it is affecting my work.”
Not truly understanding what the ghost meant by ‘work’, I took a number of deep breaths, and with the pain in my chest diminished, I focused my attention on Tobias, gauging his possible response before deciding to unsling the carry-bag from my shoulder and hand it over to him.
“What?” he asked.
“If you’re going to tag along, at least make yourself useful.”
For a moment, I suspected and even feared he would punch me, but then he yanked the bag from my hand and slung the straps over his right shoulder. “Happy, now?”
“Yes.” Squaring my shoulders, and feeling the bra straps tug a little into my skin, I stormed toward the nearby stairwell. “Let’s get this over with.”
- III -
Angela showed me the back of the note.
There was a small map drawn on it, indicating the fourth rooftop courtyard in the high school half of the circular Academy building.
As with all the courtyards at lunchtime it was likely to be occupied so I was troubled when thinking of what to expect there, other than a possible reunion of outraged Silver Blue Princess fans waiting to beat me up, in which case the course I was following now was suicide and I should reconsider. However, I felt that I’d dug myself so far into this situation that I had no choice but to continue digging, hoping I would hit treasure along the way.
The group consisting of myself, Tobias, Angela, Felicia, and Shirohime walked in silence, with me leading the way east down the curved corridor of the fourth level. For the umpteenth time since the time I began attending this Academy more than three years ago, I wondered who in their right mind decided to make a ‘circular’ school building. Stadiums were round. Coliseums were round. But schools were not meant to be round.
Then again, people who died were not meant to be resurrected.
That fact had not been lost on me, but simply pushed aside in the commotion that was the previous ten minutes of my life. However, as I walked down the corridor toward a far stairwell with access to the rooftop courtyard marked on the map, I whispered softly out the side of my mouth, “Are you a ghost or not?”
The answer came by a few moments later, the ghost’s male voice sounding a tad lazy. “As I said earlier, I am none of the above.”
“Then what are you?”
“That would take some time to explain, and I believe now is not that time.”
I swallowed and my heartbeat raced a little when a couple of high-school boys walked by. Expecting to draw attention for the wrong reasons, I kept my eyes focused on the corridor ahead of me, though I watched them well enough in the corner of my eyes, seeing them glance at me a couple of times. I frowned inwardly as I noticed my field of vision appeared to be wider than I was accustomed to, allowing me to see the two high schoolers quite well despite keeping my eyes locked dead ahead.
At that point it dawned on me that at various times throughout the morning, inconsistencies regarding my body had been mentioned by the people around me.
Glancing down at my hands, I asked the ghost, “Did I die?”
“Yes. At the very least, one can say that your body is presently incapable of sustaining human life. By that, I refer to your original body, not the one your awareness presently inhabits.”
I reached up but stopped short of touching my chest. “…huh…?”
“You may consider the body you presently inhabit like a courtesy car. It is on loan to you while yours is in repair. Your original human body suffered considerable decay when it was deposited in Decaying Space, otherwise known as Limbo. As living organisms cannot survive in Limbo, your body broke apart and you were rescued in the nick of time. Your essence, what you may consider your soul, was transferred to a temporary container that is a replica of your original body. However, you may have observed by now it is not a perfect replica. There are notable differences and it has features your human body lacks.”
The more I listened to the ghost, the more I slowed down, and soon the girls caught up to me. I hurried to pick up my pace as my mind struggled to wrap itself around the ghost’s explanation.
Unperturbed, the ghost continued smoothly. “To begin with, your body is known as a Simulacrum because it simulates a human body. Without delving into the details, your body is artificial. It is not born of woman but out of a maturation tank.”
“…why…?”
“Why do you have this body? Because your human body cannot sustain your life. So you were given this temporary means of continuing your existence.”
“…no. Why did I die…?”
“Because you were transported into Limbo.”
Arriving at the stairwell, I hesitated before climbing up the stairs that would take me to the school rooftop. “…why was I in Limbo…?”
The ghost was quiet for a long moment, and sounded unsure of itself when it finally mustered a reply. “That is something I cannot answer.”
“…why not…?”
“Because there is a great deal I am not privy to, courtesy of my late implementation into the project.”
I stopped when I arrived at the midway landing. “The project?” I asked in a soft whisper that sounded frighteningly loud within the square confines of the stairwell.
“Yes. The project to have you represent them in the Gun Princess Royale.”
“…represent them…represent who?”
“The noble House Elsis Novis.”
Whether it was real or not, the heart beating within my chest stumbled, causing me to wince in pain and clutch at myself. However, as I did so, my hands encountered something unexpected that left my heart catatonic and robbed me of coherent thought for several seconds. The simple act of breathing became a struggle as I pressed my palm onto the very noticeable mound on my chest that tingled as the fabric of the bra bru
shed across its peak.
“…what the Hell…?”
The ghost’s voice was almost drowned away by the sound of blood rushing through my head as my heart resumed pumping the fluid through my body.
“Ah, you noticed. What do you think of my handiwork?”
I didn’t know what to think as my thoughts crumbled as quickly as I put them together. However, what I felt was another matter, and panic and disbelief were at the forefront of the cavalcade of emotions running through me.
Reaching out I grabbed onto the handrail and used it to steady myself.
Standing on the steps behind and below me, Felicia asked, “Hey, Ronin. Are you all right?”
Holding out my other hand, I stuttered a reply. “P—please, g—give me a moment.”
“Are you sure?” she asked.
I ignored her and whispered to the ghost, “…how…?”
The immaterial owner of the male voice sounded disturbingly pleased with itself. “As I stated earlier, I can make adjustments to your body, though they are quite limited as evinced by my inability to give your bust a volume exceeding that of a Bee-cup. There is only so much I can do with the material on hand, so I had to borrow it from elsewhere within the Simulacrum. You may be feeling a little hungry, and your dress may hang a little around your waist. Nonetheless, I do believe my workmanship is above par. You should appraise them when you have the opportunity. I have ensured they are of even disposition, quite well rounded, none too far apart.”
My mind swayed as did my body, and I had to sit down on the steps as my legs gave way.
The ghost in my ears sounded concerned. “Princess? Princess? Oh dear, here we go again.”
It seemed that as soon as I was swept off my feet by one revelation, another would come along and send me tumbling, crashing upon me like ocean waves, preventing me from regaining my mental and emotional footing. Learning I had died and now lived in a temporary body had been shocking, as had learning my demise was related to the Gun Princess Royale, but discovering I now had the secondary characteristics of teenage girl had been like pitching me headlong into freezing waters.
For a moment, I wondered why I hadn’t realized it sooner since the bra was noticeably tight around my chest. Perhaps my subconscious had been preventing my consciousness from discovering the truth, protecting my mind by keeping it oblivious, but now the sensation of a fullness filling my bra cups was impossible to ignore, and I began feeling faint as I hyperventilated while sitting on the steps.
Naturally, the three girls on the steps rushed up to me. I had some trouble distinguishing their faces as my eyes refused to focus properly, however I was able to hear them with sufficient clarity.
From her voice, I determined it was Angela crouching before me. “Ronin, maybe you should reconsider. We won’t hold it against you. Truthfully, this is kind of reckless. Is it really so important to find out who revealed your secret?”
I wanted to tell her it wasn’t so much about the secret than about learning what had happened to me last Friday. But since I now knew that I’d died and been resurrected in this freakish body that grew breasts at the drop of a hat, I wondered if there really was a point to carrying on.
Sitting on the steps I grabbed my head as I tried to regain control of my breathing and my scattered emotions.
“Hey, Ronin?” Angela asked. “Are you with us girl?”
“No, not really….”
“Then maybe it’s not a good idea to do this.”
Felicia chuckled but I noticed it was somewhat nervous. “I guess I have to agree with her on that. It was interesting seeing you dress up, but maybe it’s not such a good idea after all—not since you make a better looking girl than I do.”
When I looked at Shirohime, I saw her wearing a rare uncertain expression rather than her usual petulant pout. However, she soon crossed her arms and sulked. “Well, if you really want my opinion, I think you should go ahead with it.”
My eyebrows rose sharply upon hearing that.
Tobias looked shocked. “What?”
“The defining characteristic of a man…is to follow through,” she replied moodily. “Regardless of how you see yourself, you said it yourself. You’re still a man.”
Felicia giggled. “Well, actually he said he had all the right plumbing—”
“Feli, stop it,” Angela snapped at her, and it was the first time I’d heard her sound annoyed at her friend in a while. “Look, come what may, I think it’s important for Ronin to decide now.”
Shirohime rolled her eyes and muttered, “I stand by what I said….”
She had a point, and I cautiously looked down at Tobias who had been hanging back.
He stared at Shirohime for a while before shaking his head slowly. “Ronin, think about it. Why a courtyard? Why not the library? Or why not someplace more private.” He pointed up the stairs in the direction of the rooftop. “This is a setup and you’re walking right into it. You could really regret what happens next.”
I sat on the cold steps, feeling my heart pumping fast as I considered their opinions and my options, but as I sat there I had to wonder how deep was the rabbit hole?
“Would someone…go up there…and take a look around?” I asked weakly, keeping my hands on my lap and thus away from my chest, though I could do little to stop them from trembling.
Felicia straightened and gave my back a hearty slap. “No problem,” she declared and rushed past me up the steps. Shortly afterwards, I heard her push open the door to the rooftop courtyard.
I had my answer to my worst fear. The ghost and this body proved that I wasn’t human anymore. I had died and was living as something that looked human – something that resembled me from last week. Going up the stairs wasn’t so much about learning who’d revealed my secret to Valjean, but about learning about The Game. However, Angela and Tobias had a point. I was taking far too great a risk parading out in the open as a high school girl, and I should have thought my situation through carefully and clearly, rather than submitting to my stubbornness to yield to better reason.
“I’m such an idiot,” I whispered, and met the gaze of the people before me. Clearing my throat a little, I sheepishly said, “I’m sorry for dragging you into this. I should have known better. My bad….”
Tobias exhaled loudly in relief and dropped my bag on the steps. “Great. In that case, now that you’re back to your senses, can you change back into your uniform so we can grab some lunch before the break is over.”
Angela snapped, “If this is such a trial for you, why don’t you just leave? No one asked you to come along.”
“There’s no need to be rude,” Shirohime admonished her snidely. “He has a right to express his opinion.”
The two girls started to glare at each other, and before sparks could begin flying between them, I stood up and appealed for peace. “Ah—can we please not fight. This is my fault after all. Besides, I have the answer I was after…not the one I wanted…and I did kind of ask him to tag along.”
The girls broke off their silent battle of wills, and together with Tobias they gave me mixed looks, but their collective expressions became startled when the door to the rooftop courtyard slammed open, and Felicia called down to us in a terse voice.
“Hey, Angie, can you come up here for a second.”
Angela frowned and after shooting me a glance, she walked up the steps and followed Felicia out through the open doorway onto the rooftop. Watching it close behind them, I wondered what was happening up there on the rooftop courtyard, and after a minute of waiting a little anxiously in the stillness of the stairwell, the door reopened and Angela’s voice floated down to us from above.
“Hey, Shirohime, can you give us a hand.”
“A hand with what?” Class Rep questioned petulantly.
“Time to put all those years of training to good use, and I’m not talking about your passion for serving tea.”
“Wait a moment—”
“Just get your butt up here
.”
I was both surprised and puzzled by the abruptly distraught look that flashed across Shirohime’s face, but she swallowed hard and then wordlessly ran up the stairs, disappearing through the doorway and onto the courtyard. Curiosity got the better of me, and I started cautiously up the steps only to be stopped by a harried Shirohime who abruptly opened the door and stuck her head into the stairwell.
“I suggest you stay down there for your safety.”
She ducked out of sight a heartbeat later, and the door slammed shut, leaving me anxious and confused.
“For my safety?” While the door had remained open, I’d quite clearly heard the sounds of a commotion out on the courtyard. “What’s happening up there?”
“Ronin, let’s go.” Tobias held out my carry-bag toward me. “You said it yourself. You should have known better. Quit while you’re ahead.”
Indecision gripped me, but then I acknowledged something that first surprised me, then morphed into thin anger that strongly influenced my decision to stay and wait for the girls to reappear.
“For more than a year now, you’ve made it a habit to call me, Cass. That started others calling me Cassidy, making fun of me, and you didn’t stop even when I asked you to. So why is it that when I’m dressed as a girl and look like a girl, you decide to call me Ronin?” Seeing him jerk back slightly, I pressed home my advantage. “Why aren’t you calling me Cass now that I’m dressed as a girl? Why not call me Cass now that I look like a real girl?” I narrowed my eyes at him. “If I was a real girl, would you call me Cass?”
I could imagine what he was feeling because it was painted on his face.
Anger, resentment, disgust, and something else I’d been seeing for a while today but hadn’t recognized until then. He swallowed those feelings down hard, and struggled to make his voice come out.
“I call you Cass…because you’re my friend…my best friend….”
I couldn’t reconcile his spoken sentiment with the look on his face or the vibe I was sensed radiating from him.
“No, Mat. You call me Cass because you don’t see me as a guy.” I shook my head down at him, and to my shame I felt tears begin to well up in my eyes. “You see me as a girl and I bet you would prefer that I was a girl—a real girl. Isn’t that the truth, Mat? Isn’t that why you won’t call me Cass now?”
Gun Princess Royale: Awakening the Princess, Book One Page 22