Indigo Storm

by Fleur McDonald

  He leaned forward and fixed his gaze on Eliza. ‘You’ve probably guessed we’re here for a reason,’ he said.

  She gave a half-smile. ‘I was wondering!’

  ‘Can you tell Mary and John about your childhood?’ he asked.

  Eliza gave him a questioning glance.

  ‘I know it sounds strange, but could you?’

  Mary and John leaned towards her as she looked at them. ‘What’s this about?’ she asked slowly.

  ‘Eliza, we believe we know who your mother was.’ He said it as gently as possible, but even he wasn’t prepared for the level of shock that appeared on her face.

  ‘Wh . . . What? No, no, you can’t! No one does. Why would you say that?’

  ‘Eliza, you’ve seen the photos of Clara. You must agree that you resemble her?’ Mary said, taking Eliza’s hand in hers.

  ‘She’s too old to have been my mother. I’m only twenty-seven. She can’t be my mother!’

  ‘We don’t think she is,’ Dessie said, as soothingly as he could. ‘We believe she might be your grandmother.’

  Silence hung in the air as Eliza clearly tried to process what he had said.

  ‘Grandmother? I don’t understand,’ she whimpered.

  ‘We don’t either, dear,’ Mary said. ‘We’ve only just found out about it ourselves. It’s a lot to take in. But Roseanna, Clara’s daughter, left here and went to Adelaide, and it turns out she was pregnant when she left. We didn’t know, otherwise we never would have let her leave. We would have helped her raise you.’

  Eliza stood up and walked to the window, banging her fists into her side. She stared outside.

  ‘Love, you need to know that you are part of our family if you want to be,’ John began.

  Dessie watched Eliza, unmoving, reflected in the window. He could see she was crying.

  ‘Clara’s daughter?’ Eliza finally asked in a low, shaky voice. ‘You said she was yours. The one time you talked about Karen and Roseanna, you said, “That’s our daughters.” You’ve only got a couple of photos of her up on your walls. I know, because I’ve looked. I tried to match who I looked like with you, Mary, but couldn’t see any resemblance. I thought it was you two I was drawn to. What the hell is going on here?’

  Mary started to explain, in a faltering voice, about their friends’ daughter. How they had raised her after her parents’ deaths. How their daughter, Karen, and Roseanna had been best friends. How they had learned to ride horses together, done School of the Air lessons together.

  ‘They were inseparable. We used to call them the terrible twins.’ She took a shaky breath. ‘We sent Karen to boarding school. She’s very clever—now she’s a lawyer in England. We saw how bright she was and wanted her to have the best. Clara and Richard couldn’t afford to send Roseanna away, so she stayed and Clara helped her with the secondary-school School of the Air lessons.

  ‘Then Richard was killed and, not long afterwards, Clara died. Suddenly, Roseanna had no one, except John and me.

  ‘She struggled, and went off the rails a bit, but we hauled her back on and thought she was going along okay. Unfortunately, though, she took after her mother and suffered very badly from depression.’

  Dessie interrupted Mary’s tale. ‘I thought if I could take her to Adelaide and get her some help, she might get better. Find the skills to help her deal with her depression and be able to live a normal life.

  ‘After a couple of months of her being down there, it became clear she was pregnant.’ He looked down. ‘I offered her support. I wanted to take her back to John and Mary, who I knew would help look after her and the baby. She wouldn’t accept any of it.

  ‘As soon as Roseanna’s child was born . . .’

  Eliza swung around. ‘You were there?’

  Dessie nodded. ‘I was there.’

  ‘Did you see the baby?’

  ‘I saw a mop of blond hair, but that was all,’ he answered.

  Eliza swallowed hard and looked at the three of them.

  ‘You really think I’m that child?’ she asked in a small voice.

  ‘I’m not sure there’s any way to be certain,’ Dessie said calmly. ‘But you do have a similar story to what this child’s would have been.

  ‘When’s your birthday?’

  Eliza blinked. ‘Um—first of March 1988.’

  Mary and John exchanged glances, and Dessie nodded.

  ‘You see, to me, that’s too much of a coincidence,’ he said. ‘Especially since you look so much like Clara.’

  Mary reached into her bag and drew out a photo album. ‘Would you like to see some pictures?’

  Eliza froze and Dessie could see it was almost too much for her.

  ‘I’m back!’ called Jacob, the door slamming. ‘I reckon we might get a thunderstorm—I can smell moisture in the air.’ He stopped as he took in the atmosphere of the room. ‘So, it appears I’ve missed something. I’ll just grab a beer, and then I’ll be in my room if you need me.’

  Eliza shook her head and reached out her hand to him. ‘No,’ she said. ‘I need you to stay with me.’

  Dessie knew that if Mary and John had been hoping for a loving family reunion, they were disappointed.

  It was clear to him that Eliza had basically been by herself for so long, with no one to rely on, that having an instant family, even though that was what she badly wanted, wouldn’t be possible.

  Soon after Jacob had returned, Eliza had excused herself, barely saying goodbye to any of them. Mary, John and Dessie had been silent on the car trip home. There really was nothing to say.

  Once they’d arrived home, Mary and John had gone straight to their bedroom, leaving Dessie in the sunroom, staring out into the gathering darkness.

  He got up and went outside. The air was starting to develop a slight chill and he pulled his jacket a little tighter. The moon threw long shadows from trees and bushes, and covered the countryside in a ghostly light.

  He looked towards the hills and heard voices.

  It was two young girls on horseback, racing towards the yards. Dust kicked up from beneath the horses’ hooves and the crack of a stockwhip rang out. He could hear the girls’ laughter as each egged the other on to ride faster.

  The horses were running at full stretch, the girls moulded to their backs as if they and the animals were one. They raced over the flat towards where he was standing. Sheep scattered as they rode through the middle of the mob, and one of the girls let out a whoop and cracked the stockwhip again.

  Dessie turned and looked towards the sheep yards, where there was a very old pepper tree. The branches and leaves were so bowed they almost touched the ground. Under the tree was cool and protected from the sun. Dessie stared at it for a long time and saw Richard. He was leaning against the trunk, his legs outstretched and his hat tipped down over his face. Beside him was a small smoking fire with a billy on it, and he was holding a mug of tea. As Dessie watched, he took a sip without needing to move his hat.

  A sad smile crossed Dessie’s face as Clara materialised from the woolshed and, hoisting up her skirt, sat down next to Richard, putting her hand on his leg. He flicked his hat up, and gave her a grin before offering her a cup of tea.

  The horses came to a stop in front of them, covering the foursome in dust.

  Dessie waited.

  When the dust cleared, no one was there.

  He blinked and looked around to get his bearings. The stars were appearing as dim lights in the sky. Everything was silent and still.

  These people, who had been such dear friends, were nothing but ghosts from the past now, only memories and feelings—ones that haunted him daily.

  The mournful and eerie call of a crow reverberated around and bounced off the hills. Another answered. As Dessie turned to go inside, the frogs started to call and the crickets came to life. The sounds of the bush washed over him and he finally felt untroubled.

  He’d done what he’d had to, what God had told him to do, and he was sure that everything would be a
ll right.

  Chapter 37

  The sound of laughter filled the main street. For the past few days, caravans and campervans had been dribbling into Blinman. The tourists were setting up camp anywhere they could find a space.

  Eliza watched contentedly as everything started to come together. She’d had five entries in the selfie trail so far—that meant five hundred dollars already for Dessie and the Frontier Services. She expected many more entries to flood in on the day of the cook-off as people got into the spirit of things.

  ‘Eliza, can you grab this?’ Reen called out from underneath a marquee that had collapsed on top of her.

  ‘What the hell are you doing under there?’ Eliza scolded as she ran to help. ‘That’s not going to do you, or your body, any good.’

  Reen fixed her with a steely stare. ‘And when have I ever let my body stop me?’

  ‘Good point. But you don’t need to do this, you know.’

  Eliza pushed the top of the marquee up and tried to pull it over the corner of the frame. One of the legs came out and it collapsed again.

  She started to giggle as Reen swore.

  Reen tried to pick up the leg but couldn’t reach it. Frowning at Eliza, she started to say something but her friend’s laugh was infectious and she started to giggle too.

  Once Eliza had started to laugh, she couldn’t stop. So many overwhelming things had happened over the last few days that laughing was a much needed relief.

  When she’d told Jacob about the revelation that she was Clara’s granddaughter, he’d been as shocked as she was. Neither of them had talked much that night as they both absorbed the information.

  The next morning, the only thing that Jacob had said about it was: ‘If you’re going to have a family, the Caulders are the best one to have.’

  Reen had agreed, when Eliza had confided in her about what had happened. ‘Mary and John are the nicest people. They’ll love you as if you’re their own, not just their friends’ grandchild. So, yes, if you’re going to get an instant family, they’re the best one!’

  Eliza agreed, but was still struggling to come to terms with how her gut feeling, that she should come to Blinman, had paid off. It was a lot to process.

  ‘Not much point in getting too stressed, is there?’ Reen said now, once she had got herself under control. She put the marquee cover on the ground.

  Eliza shook her head. ‘Nope! It’s all about fun.’

  ‘Good point. Sometimes I forget that. I just want everything to be right.’

  ‘And it will be. It can’t not be with all the effort you and everyone have put in.’

  ‘You girls need a hand?’

  They turned, and saw Chris and his daughters standing there. He had his hands on his hips and a half-smile on his face. ‘Looks like that marquee is trying to wrap you up as Christmas presents!’

  ‘Ha ha,’ Reen said as she pushed the marquee towards Eliza.

  ‘Don’t worry. I’d unwrap you,’ he said, winking at Eliza.

  She gave a small smile in return.

  ‘What are you up to, standing there like the cat’s got your tongue?’ Reen asked, looking at Heidi and Tilly.

  ‘Being polite,’ Heidi answered.

  Eliza fixed both girls with a stare. ‘Really?’ she drew the word out in disbelief.

  Tilly crossed her arms. ‘We can be, you know.’

  ‘Right, here you go,’ Reen interrupted and pushed the marquee cover at Chris. ‘Eliza and I have other things to do!’ She limped back towards the shop. ‘Like, get all the food ready!’

  Eliza tipped her head to the side and looked at Chris. ‘Thanks,’ she said. ‘I think you’ll be much better at this than Reen and me.’

  ‘No problems.’ He stared at her for a moment. ‘How have you been?’ he asked. ‘Seems ages since I’ve caught up with you.’

  ‘Hasn’t been that long,’ she said, as she bent down to ruffle the girls’ hair. She looked back up at him. ‘But there’s been a fair bit happen since!’

  ‘Sounds interesting! Have you got time to grab a coffee and tell me?’

  Eliza wiped away the sweat on her brow. ‘It’s too bloody hot for coffee. I’ll grab some cool drinks from the shop and meet you over at the tennis clubrooms, if you like. Do you girls want anything?’

  ‘No, thanks. I’m going to go and play with my friends,’ Heidi said. ‘See ya.’

  ‘Back here in two hours,’ Chris told her.

  ‘Okay!’

  ‘I saw Uncle Jacob over there. I’m going to see him,’ Tilly said.

  ‘Same goes for you, Twinkle Toes. Two hours.’

  ‘Yup!’

  ‘Okay, I’ll just get two drinks,’ Eliza said. ‘Be back in a minute.’ She went over to the shop and grabbed two cans out of the fridge. ‘I’ll be back shortly, Reen,’ she called through the open door into the kitchen. ‘I’m just going to have a quick chat to Chris.’

  ‘No worries.’

  In the clubrooms, she couldn’t help looking straight over at the picture of Clara. It was so strange to have been yearning for a family and then suddenly have one.

  It’s not a real family, one half of her mind kept arguing with her. It’s a pretend one. One by association.

  Doesn’t matter, the other half argued. They’ll love you. Everyone keeps telling you that and there’s no reason to doubt it. They weren’t the ones who gave you up.

  She handed Chris his drink, popped the top and took a long swallow of her own. ‘That’s so refreshing,’ she said, holding the cold can to her cheek.

  ‘You’ll acclimatise,’ Chris said, nodding. ‘It always feels like a pretty fierce heat to begin with but, in time, it just seems normal. Like the flies. You just don’t take any notice of them eventually.’

  ‘And the dust. I kept wiping everything down when I first got here, but I don’t bother anymore.’

  ‘I’ve gotta say, though, that when it comes to the heat, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet. Summer is still a couple of months away.’

  Eliza groaned.

  Chris leaned back in his chair and put his feet on the table. ‘So, what’s been going on with you?’

  ‘It seems I’ve found a family,’ she answered, the words out of her mouth before she could stop them.

  ‘Yeah? Is that good? Sometimes I’d do anything not to have one!’

  She began to tell him her story—she wanted him to hear it from her. If she was going to keep teaching his kids, it was only fair that he heard everything straight from the source.

  When she finished, Chris was quiet, and Eliza could tell he was thinking about what to say. She’d got to know his little habits over the past few months and that when he absentmindedly rubbed his elbow, he was formulating words. That was one of the things she really liked about him: he didn’t speak before he had thought through what he was going to say.

  ‘So,’ he said slowly, ‘it’s all circumstantial, is what you’re telling me.’

  ‘Yep.’ She took another swallow. ‘Part of me so wants it to be true. After all, family is really important. It gives you a sense of identity, all that sort of stuff, but the other half of me is too frightened to let it be true.’

  Chris nodded. ‘Not a bad family to be a part of, though,’ he commented, taking another sip.

  ‘But John and Mary aren’t my real family, even if this whole story is true! They’re friends of my family. They’re people who knew my mum, my grandparents.’

  ‘But, at the end of the day, they’d know something about your family in England. And they’re the closest you’ve got to family out here. Why not embrace it?’

  She sighed. ‘I know, I know. I said to Jacob last night, it’s like a spider web that stretches out, isn’t it? They’ve got all the answers to a lot of the questions I have. They can tell me what Roseanna was like, what Clara and Richard were like. It’s a win win all round. I just feel . . .’ she searched for words, ‘. . . that because there isn’t any proof, I’m too scared to let myself accept it. I don’t
want to finally think I’ve found a family, and then another woman turns up and she’s the real daughter.’

  Chris reached over to her, grabbed her hand and held it tight. He looked her in the eye. ‘Honey, even if that happened, do you really think they’d let you go? That they wouldn’t be your family anymore? In my experience, family are people who love you. They don’t have to be blood relations. They can be friends. And that’s what Mary and John are. They’re friends who are offering to love and accept you. Just run with it and see where it leads. I can’t imagine there’s any pressure from them.’

  Eliza looked down and fiddled with the can. Finally, she put it down and looked over at the photo of Clara.

  ‘I do look a lot like her, don’t I?’

  ‘I reckon I was the one who told you that in the first place.’

  ‘Yeah,’ she said softly. She turned back to Chris and her breath caught in her throat as she saw something in his face she’d never seen before.

  He held her eyes as he leaned towards her, hesitating for a split second before he put his lips on hers.

  A number of emotions ran through her, but apprehension was the strongest of them. She pulled away and looked down at the floor.

  ‘Think I’d better go,’ she said and, before Chris could say anything, she got up and walked quickly to the door, shutting it quietly behind her. The glare from the sun stopped her in her tracks briefly before she headed across to the shop.

  She berated herself. How did she get herself in that situation? She had always promised herself she would never let anyone in again. The only reason she’d talked to Chris about all this was that she felt she owned him an explanation.

  It seemed that Reen had been right about his feelings all along.

  Dominic was camped near the golf course. He had been angry when he discovered there was only a long drop there and no shower facilities.

  ‘I should have bought a bigger van,’ he muttered as he stomped across the stony land to line up to use the toilet.

  He kept his head down and his hat tipped over his face. He was only leaving the van for essentials, like showering and using the bathroom, but had been doing his best to spy on her.