Arousing Her

by Tia Siren

  "Well, it's just that, I'm kind of seeing someone at the moment."

  "What?" he asked, suddenly sitting up.

  "It's no big deal. We're not serious or anything but—"

  "You cheated on someone with me?" he asked, pushing himself backward and away from me.

  "What? No. Well, kind of. But like I said, we're not serious and tonight just kind of happened."

  "I've got to go," he said, and just like that, he was out of bed.

  "What?" I said, not believing what I was hearing. Was he really leaving because of that? There was no way.

  "You should have told me," he said as he hurried to find his pants. "You should have said something."

  I didn't know what to say. I didn't know if there was anything I could say. Within a second, he had found his pants and had them on. A second after that and he was out of the room and out the front door.

  I was shocked. I remained sitting in bed for some time, staring at the door where he had just disappeared. I had no idea what had happened, and every time that I thought about it, I only became more confused. I just refused to believe that he had flipped out over such a small thing. After all he had done to me, he really had no right.

  And yet, there I was. Alone once again. Liam had, for the third time, built me up so that he could break me down. What was I going to do now?

  CHAPTER 31

  LIAM

  I couldn't believe what I had just done. As I stumbled down the cold, New York City street with no shirt on, I played the moment over in my head again and again.

  I didn't even notice the cold, despite the way that the wind lashed at my bare chest. And I didn't even notice the people staring or whistling at me. I was trapped in my head with thoughts of Kate and what had just happened.

  First off, I never meant to sleep with her. That was as unexpected as anything that I could have imagined. When we were having drinks and hitting it off again, I just kept telling myself not to blow it. I kept telling myself to keep it going until I saw an exit. I was going to try and leave on good terms because the chances were that I would never see her again.

  And then, when she invited me up to her house, I was still in the same mind frame. I wanted her more than anything, but I knew that I shouldn't do anything about it. It would have been wrong on so many levels.

  The reason that I got the hell out of that apartment was that I didn't want to hurt her again. The sex was unreal, maybe the best that we had ever had. All it confirmed though was that we weren't done yet, not but a long shot. But, despite the chemistry between us, we had to be. I was through hurting her. I was through being the bad guy. And that was why I left.

  I was leaving the country in a few weeks. Where to? I didn’t know yet, but I would be gone. I couldn't sleep with her again and get her hopes up, only to dash them in one swift move. So when she told me that she had a boyfriend, I saw a way out.

  I should have handled it differently. Maybe I should have told her? But I'm a coward. I saw a chance, and I took it. Now, I would never see Kate again. And the worst part of all of this was that she was better off for it.

  "Taxi," I yelled as a yellow cab drove towards me. I had suddenly become very aware of how I was dressed and how far away from my apartment I was. The cold was finally starting to get to me, and I just wanted to be home. I just wanted to go back to my bed, crawl into it, and forget all about Kate.

  The taxi pulled up. I gave him my address, and he took off, away from Kate's place. Away from Kate.

  --

  The number of sleepless nights I had had since meeting Kate had to be record breaking. I don't think that in my entire life, I had had as many as the last few months. Last night was another for the board.

  Of course, my thoughts were on Kate and whether I had done the right thing. I just wasn't sure. It seemed right at the time. But the next morning, when I was greeted by the sun shining through my window, I was still no closer to an answer.

  I was up and out of bed the moment the sun hit my face. It couldn't have been past six in the morning. I was tired, exhausted even, but there was no way I was sleeping. Instead, I sat in the kitchen and stared at my cell phone. Apart of me told me that I should call her. Another part said that I should delete her number all together. The conflict was real, and neither side was coming out on top.

  It was because it was so early that when I heard someone kpetesakenocking on my front door, it took me a few moments to realize that it was to my place. I didn't jump or startle, but stared at the front door, sure that it was a mistake.

  But as the knocking continued, I eventually relented and made my way to open it. Surely, it was Clint who, for some reason, had chosen six a.m. to come and see me.

  It wasn't Clint though. It was the last person I expected to see standing in my doorway. It was Kate.

  "Kate?" I said dumbly, staring at her in shock.

  "What the hell was that?" she said, red in the face and puffing. "Seriously, Liam, what the hell was that?"

  "What was what? Do you want to come in?" I stepped aside and let her enter. She did, with vigor. She stormed into my place, and for a moment, I thought she was about to start throwing things around. Smashing glasses and knocking over furniture.

  "You know what I'm talking about!" she yelled, turning on me as I closed the door and made my way to her in the living room. "You invite me out for a drink. Then you come back to my place and fuck me! Then you just leave? Because I have a boyfriend? And not even a boyfriend! Just a guy I'm seeing."

  I had no good answer for her. It seemed stupid telling her that I wasn't okay with sleeping with someone who was seeing someone else. And I knew she wouldn't believe it either. She would see right through me.

  "Don't you even think about lying to me," she said.

  With her hands on her hips, her eyes bored into mine. I let out a deep sigh, knowing that I couldn't get around it any longer. "I quit my job," I said.

  "What?” she asked, her voice calming down in her surprise. "Wow, that's really great."

  Her anger was replaced with a warmth that wasn't there before. She knew how much I hated my job, and her congratulations was genuine.

  "Yeah, it's about time, right? And I'm thinking of opening my own private practice, too."

  "Seriously? Liam, that's amazing. I've been saying you should be doing that for ages."

  "But that's not why I left,” I said, shaking my head. “I left because I'm leaving the country soon. For good. Last night when you told me about your boyfriend or whatever he is, I saw an out. I didn't want to get back with you, only to spring the bad news on you that I was leaving. I'm sick of hurting you Kate. I truly am. I’ve caused you more pain than you deserve."

  I didn't know what reaction I was expecting from Kate, but it certainly wasn't the one that I got. Smiling, she walked up to me and threw her arms around my waist, pulling me into a hug. Then, when she finally let go, she stood on her tip toes and kissed me on the lips. "Is that it?"

  "Is that it? What do you mean? What more can there be? I'm leaving the country. What's the use in dating again if you're not with me? I want you to get a shot at happiness, and I can't see it happening long distance."

  "Then why do long distance?" she asked with a smirk. "You make it sound like that's the only option."

  "What are you saying?" I asked cautiously.

  I had a feeling I knew where she was going, but I didn't want to get my hopes up. She wasn't the only one that had been hurt before.

  "I'm saying that I'm a writer with a publishing deal. I can literally write from anywhere. It doesn't have to be New York."

  "Are you saying what I think you're saying?" I asked, feeling the flutter in my chest.

  "Where you go, I go. I mean, assuming you really want me with you. Because I want to be with you, Liam. And besides, I'm pretty sure that we had a deal, remember?"

  I burst out laughing. She was right. We had made a deal. Months ago, we agreed that when I quit my job and moved, she would move with me.
Still smiling and still laughing, it was my turn to hug her.

  I grabbed her by the waist and lifted her into the air. She wrapped her legs around me, trapping me. And we kissed. It was a kiss that felt as if we hadn't done such a thing in months. Years even. Even after last night, the kiss we shared in my living room was one of a kind.

  It was a symbol that we had both forgiven each other and that we were ready to move on to the next part of our lives. I knew that I was, and I just couldn't wait to do it with Kate.

  "Do you have any preferences?" I asked when I finally put her down.

  "Somewhere with a beach and sun," she said. "I'm in need of a tan."

  "Consider it done."

  I kissed her again, one of what I was sure to be thousands of shared kisses over the rest of our lives because that was what was in store. The two of us, sharing the rest of our lives together.

  CHAPTER 32

  KATE

  "Okay, there's no way that you want to keep this?” Liana asked. “Tell me that you don't want to keep this? Please, assure me that you don't want to keep—"

  "All right, Liana. Throw it out."

  I chuckled, shaking my head. Liana was holding up an old lime green dress that I, at one time, used to love wearing. But I had to agree with her that it belonged in the trash pile.

  "What?" Liana said, aghast as she looked the dress up and down. "I'm not going to throw it out. I'm going to take it for myself. This color looks great on me. I’m wearing it to the club. This dress will bring in tips like nobody's business."

  I chuckled again, turning back to the task at hand as Liana laid the dress out on my bed, along with a bunch of other clothes that she had managed to convince me to throw out and that she was so graciously taking off my hands.

  I had invited Liana over to help me pack, and so far, she was doing an excellent job. The reason for packing? I was leaving New York to be with Liam.

  The last week had been one of the craziest of my entire life. Once I forgave Liam and we got back together officially, everything had just sort of happened. He found someone to take over my lease. He found an office for his new practice in the perfect location, and he even found us a new apartment and bought our plane tickets. It was happening.

  If someone had asked me two weeks ago if I thought I would be moving out of the country with Liam, I would have laughed and told them how silly they were. But now, I couldn't think of anything I would rather be doing. The last week, despite how hectic it was, was also magical. Liam spent every waking minute trying to make up for what he had done. I would come home to surprises and gifts every single day. He would tell me how much he loved me every moment. It was nonstop, and if I had to admit it, maybe just a little irritating.

  But only a little. I mean, how could I complain? I was back with the man of my dreams, and we were moving away together. Everything was going perfectly.

  "I am going to miss you," Liana said as she rummaged through my wardrobe. "Seriously, you're like my best friend. Now I'm going to have to make a new best friend."

  "You'll be okay," I said, reaching out and rubbing her arm.

  "Oh, I know. Trust me, there is no shortage of candidates. Samantha for example, remember her? She has been begging me to take her under my wing. Begging. I might have to hold auditions at this rate."

  I shook my head, holding back my laughter. I had to admit I was going to miss Liana, too. When I had woken up from the car crash with no memory, I couldn't believe that she was my best friend. She just seemed so unlike the kind of person I thought I would be friends with. But now that I was leaving, well, I was really going to miss her.

  "Hello, hello," she suddenly said. I looked over to see her holding one of my journals, my only journal. For some reason, I hadn't been able to find the others that I knew I had. Not that I cared. I had been planning on throwing them all out when I moved anyway. "What have we got here?"

  "That one is definitely going in the trash," I said, reaching out for the journal only for Liana to snatch it away.

  "Let's see what we have here." She began flipping through the pages until she landed on one that she seemed to like the look of. "’I can't believe how in love I am. I have never felt this way before. It's like’–boring." She flipped to another page.

  "Come on, give it here," I said, reaching for it, only for her to jump back again.

  "Oh, here we go," she said, smiling. "’It's over. Everything is over. Not just my relationship, but my life. There's a great big hole where’–well that's morbid." She frowned, flipping to another page. "’I trusted him. I thought that I could trust him, but now I know that I was wrong. After everything he said to me and everything he did, I don't know if I will ever be able to trust again. Let alone love him.’"

  She stopped and pulled her eyes from the page to look up at me. Her expression wasn't one of sadness, but concern. She looked genuinely worried for me.

  "Those are from over a year ago," I said, reaching out and taking the journal from her. This time she let me. "A lot has changed since then."

  "Kate, babe. I love Liam, I do. You know I think he's a great guy and minus one very serious transgression, I think the two of you are perfect for one another. But have you thought about this? All of it?"

  "Of course, I have," I said seriously. "What? You think he’s going to cheat on me? Or dump me again? Come on." I laughed, but it was a weak laugh. An uncertain one. The look on Liana's face took away all the conviction in my voice.

  "I don't know,” Liana said. “All I know is that he has before. Twice! I love you babe, and I just want to make sure that you have thought about this. If you say you have, then that is good enough for me. I won't ever mention it again. I'll give you my blessings and let you carry on with your perfect life. But if you aren't sure, then I have to ask if you really want to do this?"

  "Yes, I am sure," I said. As I did, my hands squeezed down on the journal. I could feel them shaking, physically struggling to keep a grip on the book. "He told me he loves me. And I love him. And that's good enough for me."

  "Perfect!" Liana beamed, her attitude doing an instant 180. "I'm just going to pop into the little girl’s room, okay?" She hurried from the room toward the bathroom.

  Once she was gone, I sat down on the end of my bed, the journal still in my hand. Unable to help myself, I opened it up to the very last entry and read.

  This will be my final entry. I started writing in here because it made me happy. I loved writing about Liam and myself and everything that we got up to. I loved how he made me feel, and I wanted nothing more than to put those feelings into words so that I would have them with me always. But that is over now.

  Liam broke my heart. He stomped all over it. I have never felt pain like this. I have never felt such misery. I want to describe how it feels, but I don't even know how to put such thoughts into words. To do so might burn the page and set the pen on fire. Instead, I will leave my journal with this final sentiment.

  Don't ever love again. Don't ever trust again. To do so is for fools, and you, Kate Monroe, are no fool. Not anymore.

  I reread the passage, unable to comprehend the words. I remembered writing that passage as clear as day, as if I had written it yesterday. I remembered how much it hurt to write, and how much I was hurting at the time. I remembered promising myself that I would never love again, that I would never fall for such a trap. And for a while there, I managed to keep my promise. Until Liam came along again.

  Liam was the architect of my original downfall, but he was also the reason why I stood as tall as I did today. As I looked around the room, at my half empty cupboards and half packed bag, I had to ask myself again if I was doing the right thing. Liam and I were leaving in a few days for our new life together. If I was going to go through with it, I had to be one hundred percent certain that he wasn't going to break my heart again.

  "So girl, are we doing this?" Liana asked as she bustled back into the room.

  Still sitting on the edge of the bed, journal in ha
nd, I looked up at my best friend. I didn't answer her. I didn't know how to answer. Although I knew I wanted to live the rest of my life with Liam, I wasn't sure if I could. I wasn't really sure of anything.

  CHAPTER 33

  LIAM

  "Everyone, everyone!" Clint shouted. "Shut up! Good. Everyone, I would like to propose a toast."

  It was my going away party, and Clint, a few drinks deep at this point, saw it as the perfect time to silence the room and toast to my good name.

  My party was being held at a small bar just around the corner from the hospital. The spot was chosen by Sandra, of all people, as she wanted as many people from the hospital to be able to go. And indeed, the bar was packed full of nurses and doctors. Many, who were still working, even had their scrubs on and had just ducked over to say goodbye.

  Although I shook hands, hugged friends, and told them all how sad I was that I was leaving, the truth was that I could not be happier. And not just because I was finally leaving the hospital, but because I was doing it with Kate at my side.

  The last week had been an unprecedented rush. In those six days, literally everything had been organized and accounted for. Not only was my lease taken over, I had my last shift and managed to find a new spot to set up my brand new practice. On top of all that, I found accommodations for me and Kate. I even managed to find someone to take over her lease and got Liana to give me her blessing.

  It had been nothing short of hectic, but at the end of the week, it was all worth it. I still could not believe that it was happening. Not that I was moving, but that it was happening with Kate.

  The last week had been as if nothing had ever happened. It was more like she had gone away for a weekend, and now we were finally back together. Sure, I may have gone a little overboard here and there with some of the things I bought her to say sorry, but I just wanted to make sure that she knew that it wasn’t going to happen again and that I truly was sorry. But after five days of gifts, presents, and surprises. I was pretty sure that she got the idea.