The Rodeo Man's Daughter (Harlequin American Romance)

by White Daille, Barbara

  Roselynn turned and went into the dining room again.

  Caleb hesitated, then looked toward the stairs.

  Nate had disappeared from sight.

  He swallowed a taste of guilt more bitter than that lime candy he’d crunched to shards.

  Nothing but a burden to me. Nothing but deadweight dragging me down.

  His own mama had said that about him, and he hadn’t wanted to hear the words. Hadn’t wanted to believe them. But he couldn’t deny how well they now applied to his relationship with Tess.

  Showing up here had done nothing but cause more trouble for her with Nate.

  They’d both be better off with him gone.

  “JOE,” TESS SAID quietly. She sat in the passenger seat of his car as he drove her home from their date. Early. “I hope you can understand.”

  “Of course I can, Tess. Come on, now. It’s not like I’m just some stranger walking in on this.”

  “I know. You’ve always been there for me.”

  “And your heart’s always been with Caleb.” He shrugged, his eyes on the road. “Even before you told me tonight, I knew I’d lost my chance.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  And she was. Yet her thoughts had already made the leap across town to the Whistlestop.

  It had been a crazy week.

  Caleb had received what he’d asked for, the chance to get to know Nate better. With her explosion tonight, he might have gotten more than he’d expected.

  She would have to talk to Nate in the morning. Not to scold her. How could she scold her daughter, when she felt the same way?

  Her name should have been Cantrell, too.

  She’d gotten what she’d hoped for, also, the chance to get closer to Caleb. The purchase of the property had given them a lot to discuss, but they’d found other things to talk about, as well.

  In silence, Joe turned the corner onto Signal Street.

  She couldn’t drag her thoughts from Caleb.

  Seeing his concern over Nate, watching how much time they’d spent together, she had to believe her hopes would come true. That the temporary agreement she and Caleb had come to for their daughter’s sake would lead to a permanent reunion for them.

  She and Joe rode the final blocks in silence. When he pulled over to the curb, she could see Caleb in the swing on the front porch. He sat staring out at Signal Street, his expression brooding.

  She fumbled for the door handle. “I’ll see you at the store, Joe.”

  “Tess.” When she turned to look at him, he reached over and took her hand. “Just so you know, those times I asked you to marry me, that was me talking, nobody else. I asked because I wanted to.”

  Emotion clogged her throat. She simply nodded and squeezed his fingers. On the sidewalk, she waited until he’d driven away before turning to walk up the path.

  After taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, she climbed the steps and took the empty half of the swing. Caleb said nothing. After a while, she asked, “How was Nate at suppertime?”

  “She didn’t show.”

  She sighed. “I’ll speak to her. She needs to apologize. And I owe you an explanation.”

  “You don’t owe me anything.”

  “Yes, I do. For why I never contacted you later, to tell you about Nate.”

  He didn’t respond.

  She licked her suddenly dry lips, then went on, “I told you about my grandfather, how he felt about my going to school. He was strict and hard and unyielding about everything, and I knew if he found out about us, he’d take that away. I made you keep our relationship a secret because I was afraid of that. Afraid of him.”

  He continued to stare out at the street.

  She sagged back against the swing, knowing she faced the most difficult part of her story now. “After Nate came, I didn’t try to contact you, either. Granddad wasn’t happy about my having a baby, but he knew I was dependent on him.” He didn’t like that, either, but that wasn’t something Caleb ever needed to know. “To give him credit, he took care of me and Nate when she came along. And I was afraid of doing anything to upset that. Anything that would get me into trouble.”

  He rose from his seat and moved to lean up against the post near the stairs where Nate always sat. “You’d already wound up ‘in trouble.’”

  The words hung between them for a long moment.

  Finally, she nodded, knowing what he meant by the emphasis. “When I first found out I was pregnant, I didn’t dare tell anyone. My mother’s never been good about keeping things from me…most of the time. She tells Aunt El everything, too. And,” she said grimly, “Aunt El’s so blunt, she would have told Granddad he drove me to it—and then expect him to accept the news calmly because she was the one who delivered it.”

  “So you came looking for me.”

  She nodded again, knowing there was nothing else she could add. He knew the rest.

  “I didn’t do right by you, Tess. I am sorry about that. There’s not much I can do about what happened back then. No way we can go back in time.”

  She held her breath. This was nothing like that throwaway apology he had made the first night they’d seen each other again. The crack in his voice, the shadows in his eyes told her he meant what he’d said. He regretted what happened between them. Maybe even wished, as she did, that they’d always been together.

  “I’ll do something now,” he said.

  His determination brought tears to her eyes. Her heart raced, making her pulse flutter. She rose from the swing, began to reach out, but he looked away.

  She stood frozen. Then she let her hands fall to her sides.

  “Tomorrow,” he said, “I’ll head back home.”

  She managed to choke off the cry that rose to her throat. In that one flat statement, he’d shattered all her hopes. Again.

  The screened door creaked open, breaking the silence.

  Nate stepped out onto the porch. Her eyes were huge and shining and her lips trembled, and Tess longed to reach out to hug her the way she’d wanted to do with Caleb.

  But he had already moved across the porch and put his hand on Nate’s shoulder.

  Nate blinked rapidly and bent her head.

  “I’m sorry I was never a part of your life,” he said softly, then glanced at Tess. “And I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.”

  “Me, too,” Nate said, staring at her sneakers. “And I’m sorry I listened again. It was just for a minute. I had to.”

  Shaking his head, he looked down at her. He smiled with such tenderness, Tess now could not hold back a small sob.

  Nate lifted her jaw to that rebellious angle Tess knew so well. “I heard what you told Mom,” she said, her words tumbling together, “and I know you’re gonna leave. I want to go, too. I want to live in Montana with you.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  “Go to sleep, now,” Tess said.

  After she had coaxed Nate upstairs again, it had taken a long while to settle her down enough to get ready for bed.

  “But—”

  “I told you, honey,” she said gently, “we’ll all have a lot of talking to do in the morning. And, Nate,” she added, forcing more firmness into her tone, “remember what else I told you. Nothing good will come of it if I find you out of your room and anywhere you shouldn’t be tonight.”

  “I know,” Nate mumbled, dragging the sheet up almost over her head. “And I said I’m sorry I listened again.”

  Torn between tears and a smile, Tess leaned down to kiss her forehead. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

  She closed the bedroom door quietly behind her.

  As she went down the stairs, she cringed, knowing she hadn’t been entirely truthful with Nate. Yes, th
ey would talk in the morning. But by then, the important things would have been said.

  She could understand Nate’s feelings at the thought that Caleb planned to go off and leave her. How could she not understand, when she’d once suffered through the experience herself? When she’d dreaded it happening once more?

  But she’d learned something tonight, with Caleb’s announcement. While the thought of losing him again had broken her heart, too, this time she was strong enough to handle it.

  The idea of losing her daughter was a whole other subject.

  For the second time in her life, Tess was going to take a stand against a man who wanted to force her into a situation she wouldn’t accept. And now, it wasn’t just her own future at stake, but her daughter’s.

  Caleb was about to find out just how rebellious she could be.

  She marched into the living room, where he sat on the couch staring down at a magazine.

  She tossed the afghan from the rocker onto the ottoman and took a seat. She didn’t need anything to hold on to now—but her temper.

  “Caleb, I haven’t said this to Nate, but I’m saying it to you. You told her you were sorry you weren’t part of her life, and you seemed sincere about it. I’m glad to know that. I’m sorry for the way things worked out for all three of us—though you had a lot to do with that.” She paused, pressed her lips together for a long moment, then went on. “I had a lot to do with it, too.” Clamping her hands on the rocker’s arms, she struggled to keep her voice calm. And failed miserably. “I don’t care how much you regret not being around for Nate. You’ll never be able to make up for lost time with her. It’s gone. Just as you’ll be gone, as of tomorrow. But you are not taking her with you.”

  She stared him down, daring him to argue.

  He looked back at her for a long time, his green eyes glowing in the light from the table lamp. Finally, he said simply, “Of course not.”

  She blinked. “Just like that?”

  “Yeah, just like that. I don’t want Nate with me.”

  His arrogant tone, so like her grandfather’s, stunned her. His careless attitude made her heart hurt. And as irrational as it might be, as a mother she felt overwhelmed by the need to rage at him for the cruelty of his words. How dare he dismiss Nate so coldly?

  “You must have one hell of an opinion of me, Tess, if you think I’d take a nine-year-old away from her mama.” He laughed just as arrogantly as he’d spoken, and she realized his attitude had been directed at her, not Nate. He rose from the couch. “Good night.”

  He turned to leave the room. She did nothing to stop him. There was nothing she could do to make the situation any better. Saying anything at all might make things worse.

  Nate would stay here with her. That had to be enough.

  She had gotten what she’d wanted.

  And lost the dream she’d unknowingly been holding on to since the day Caleb had left Flagman’s Folly years ago.

  CALEB HAD PUT a good number of miles behind him before the sun sent even a glimmer into his rearview mirror. He’d wanted to be away from the inn and out of town long before anyone else was up.

  After he’d left Tess in the living room last night, he’d knocked first on Roselynn’s door and then on Nate’s to say his farewells. Better to do it right away than wait till morning.

  Easier than running into Tess again.

  Roselynn took the news hard, but he told her she hadn’t seen the last of him. He’d be back. He just didn’t say when.

  Nate stared at him, blinking away tears she wouldn’t let fall, and near broke his heart. He tucked her in and kissed her forehead and said goodbye. He told her the same things he’d told Roselynn, but unlike her gram, Nate didn’t accept his word. She wouldn’t let him leave her room until he’d made promises. So he’d made them, wondering how many he could keep.

  Tess…

  He didn’t want to think about Tess. To think she could even suggest he’d take Nate away from her. It proved how little respect she had for him.

  About as much as he had for himself.

  He gripped the steering wheel and squinted through the windshield. Now, away from the inn and Flagman’s Folly, he could finally get some perspective. And he didn’t like what he saw.

  The road ahead of him was bare. Empty. At the end of it he would find the airport and the flight home to his ranch in Montana.

  Behind him lay the only things that really mattered.

  Flagman’s Folly itself, the place where he’d found acceptance from folks. Where he’d had it all along, no matter what he’d told himself over the years.

  Roselynn and Ellamae, two women who looked out for his interests, something his own mama had never done.

  Nate, the daughter who cared about him even though he’d never been a daddy to her.

  And Tess.

  Again, he didn’t want to think about Tess, but he had to face the truth. To admit she had good reason for feeling the way she did about him.

  Yet she’d never given him a chance to make peace with her.

  With that thought, he acknowledged what he hadn’t been able to admit before. What he couldn’t put into words even now.

  And with that thought, he also knew he couldn’t go.

  For better or for worse, he had to tell Tess how he felt. He had to hope she could find it in her heart to let him make up for his past mistakes.

  Leaving the bare road ahead, he gunned the engine and swung the truck in a tight, hard U-turn. A loud thump sounded from the back of the truck, and he muttered under his breath. He’d forgotten about his suitcase.

  But suitcases didn’t yell “Ow!”

  He pulled to the side of the road and parked with his flashers going. After he’d walked around to the back of the truck, he rested his crossed arm on the edge of the tailgate and waited.

  When he had put the suitcase into the truck bed that morning, he’d seen the tarps he had tossed in there after he’d finished painting and then had forgotten to bring them back to Sam. He’d shrugged, figuring he would have the car rental place get rid of them. Sam wouldn’t lose sleep over a couple of drop cloths.

  Now a pair of hands crept out from the edge of a tarp and pushed it aside. Nate sat up and stared at him.

  “Good morning,” he said. “How’s everything?”

  “Coulda been fine, except that big bag rolled over and squished me.”

  “Are you hurt?”

  “No, I’m okay.” She paused, then said tentatively, “Are you mad ’cause I’m here?”

  “No. But what brings you here?”

  “You did.” She sounded surprised. She crawled across the truck bed over to where he still stood with his arms on the tailgate. Slowly, she rose to her knees in front of him and looked him in the eye. “I got in the truck because I didn’t know what time you were leaving. Then I fell asleep.”

  “I told you last night,” he reminded her quietly, “I can’t take you with me.”

  “But I thought if I hid till we got to the airport, you’d have to.”

  “Nate…”

  “Never mind.” She gave a long, drawn-out sigh. “I can’t go, anyway. I can’t leave Becky and Gram and Aunt El. And Mom.” She squinted and looked away, but not before he saw the tears filling her eyes. “I know I fight with her a lot. I’ll try to get better about that. ’Cause I really need my mom.” She blinked, swallowed hard and looked back at him. “But I…I need a daddy, too.”

  His chest tightened until he could barely breathe. He had to blink several times, himself.

  He could see in Nate’s eyes and face how she felt. She couldn’t say the words yet, and he wouldn’t, either. It was too soon for both of them.

  But she loved him. As much as he loved her.

&nbs
p; His daughter loved him. The knowledge gave him confidence even as it raised another question in his mind.

  Could her mother ever love him, too?

  “You look kinda funny,” she said. “You sure you didn’t stop the truck ’cause you’re mad at me?”

  “No, I’m not mad at all. I didn’t know you were here.”

  “Then why?”

  “I was headed home.”

  “That’s why you almost killed me with that bag?”

  Swallowing a laugh, he nodded.

  She looked past him and then over her shoulder, east and west along the highway. Her eyes widened in astonishment. “This truck’s going back to Flagman’s Folly!”

  “So are we, Anastasia Lynn.”

  “Really? Wow!” She grinned. “Okay…Daddy.” She flung her arms around his neck and hugged him tight. “Let’s go home.”

  SHE’D LOOKED everywhere, and still, she couldn’t find Nate.

  Tess tried to stay calm, to keep from letting her mom know how upset she was. She must have succeeded, because when she went to the kitchen to share the news of Nate’s disappearance, Roselynn simply gave a rueful shake of her head.

  “Oh, sugar, don’t fret. She’s probably just run off again to Lissa’s like she did the other day.”

  “I’m not sure about that. I imagine when Caleb told you last night he was leaving, he stopped by Nate’s room, too. I think she’s run away over that, because when I went up there a couple of hours ago, she was already gone.”

  That got her mother’s attention. “Before 5:00 a.m.?”

  Nate never woke up that early. Tess didn’t often, either, but then, she’d never gone to sleep last night. “Yes,” she said, “before five.”

  “Have you called Dana?”

  She nodded. “Nate wasn’t there.”

  “How about the other girls?”

  “I didn’t want to try them too early. Besides, you know Nate would go to Lissa.”