by JA Huss
“I told you. I don’t feel safe unless I’m surrounded.”
I give her a little squeeze. “My arms aren’t enough for you to feel surrounded?”
She says nothing after that. And it’s not so she can think up her answer, it’s just because she’s got no answer. She doesn’t know why she needs us both. JD doesn’t know why he wants me to share her. I don’t know why I’m refusing.
Principle, I guess. She’s mine, anyway. She was mine the moment I saw her.
“I know where JD went yesterday. Where he’s going today, too.”
She doesn’t answer. Maybe she’s asleep.
“And it’s not good, Blue. I’ll share you if that’s what you want. But only because JD will never be able to give you what you need.”
“How do you know what I need?”
“You already told me. You need Jimmy Laszlio.”
“It’s Laslos, not Laszlio. And he’s dead. So if he’s what I need, then I’m good and fucked.”
“Not the Jimmy Laslos, Blue. But a guy like him.”
She thinks about this for a moment. Serious, thoughtful consideration. “A guy who is the complete opposite of you and JD.”
“Yup. We’re just gonna fuck you up more if you stick around.”
“Well, then I look forward to it. A person can never be fucked up enough in my book. My fucked-upness is the only thing I’ve got going for me at the moment.”
I let that settle as the last word on the matter. What do I care, anyway? I’ve got her in my bed. Naked. I’ve got my arms around her. I got her to admit something personal. And when the sun comes up in a few hours, I’m going to take enough pictures of this girl to get me through a lifetime of loneliness and regret.
The tub slowly fills with water and with each rising inch, the sorrow takes over. Maybe it’s just a delayed reaction to the shock of the beating. Or maybe it’s the realization that I got away. But I don’t think so.
I think the sadness comes from losing hope. From giving up. From surrender. Sadness feeds on reality, that moment when you realize you can’t win—not the war, not the battle, not even a street-corner fistfight.
Am I giving up?
Ark’s footsteps are soft as he crosses the room. I can see him out of the corner of my eye as he enters the bathroom. “What are you doing?”
I’m taking a bath. But that’s not what he means and I know it.
“Don’t you think you should go look for him?” I look up at Ark. He stands tall and nude. His dick is long and semi-hard, hanging between his legs. His chest is muscular in a way that tells me he lifts. And his face…
Ark’s face is the stuff you masturbate to. His two-day-old beard is hot in a movie-star way. His dark hair and dark eyes don’t say dangerous, they say sexy.
He is one of the most handsome men I’ve ever seen. He is the opposite of JD. And that’s not saying JD is ugly. Not at all. JD is charming. And cute. And hot. In all the ways that Ark is not.
They are like night and day. Dark and light. Maybe even good and evil.
“He’ll come home on Thursday, for sure.” Ark steps into the tub, pushing my body so I lean forward, and then he slips into the water behind me. “He won’t miss work.”
Who is this man?
How did I get from where I was to where I am?
Why do I constantly have to ask myself this question?
“Did you like school growing up, Blue?”
“You’re out of questions. You owe me, I don’t owe you.”
His laugh makes his chest rumble beneath my back. “You’re right. I do. But we’ve got all day, so let’s just talk for now. High school. Yes or no?”
I let out a long breath and try to enjoy the intimacy he’s offering. I don’t get a lot of offers. “Yes, I liked school.”
“Were you smart? Did you get good grades?”
“Yes.”
“And what did you want to be when you grew up?”
And there it is. He’s pretty good at this, I have to give him credit for that. He’s asking questions about the distant past so he can draw conclusions about the present.
“It’s not a hard question.”
“What did you want to be?” I ask, not to be a bitch and throw it back in his face, but because I’m interested. “King of Public Porn was something you aspired to?”
“Believe it or not, I wanted to be a soldier. A Navy SEAL.”
“Hmmm. Tough one. It’s like me saying I wanted to be a novelist.” I look over my shoulder a little so I can get a peek at his face. But he surprises me by resting his scratchy chin on my shoulder, making the moment even more intimate than it was.
“Huh. I don’t see the connection.”
I roll my eyes even though he can’t see them. “It’s a dream people have. The reality of it is so much bullshit.”
“Because it’s hard to make it to the finish line?”
“Are you a Navy SEAL?”
“Are you a novelist?”
“No, that’s my point. It’s just a dream.”
“Do you even write?” His hands slide up my front and cup my breasts. He squeezes them hard and the familiar throbbing begins between my legs. Goddamn, this guy is good. Always got his eye on the prize. And how the fuck did sex with him become a treat I desire instead of the other way around? How did he do that? Make me want him so thoroughly?
“Blue?”
I let out a long breath, hoping to calm the rising storm building inside me. But the heat of the water, and the heat of his body, and the heat of my own desire are all I can think about. So instead of evading, and because I want him to fuck me so badly, and at this point I realize he knew that denying me last night would make me even more susceptible this morning… I answer him with the truth. “I do.”
“Mmm,” he says, his hands rubbing down the inside of my thighs. They dip so low, I can feel the water swirl around my clit.
This makes me gasp a little, and for a fraction of a second, I’m embarrassed. But then the little swirls of water are back and that’s all I can think about.
“Fuck me,” I whisper.
“What do you write, Blue?” he asks like a man in control.
“Stories,” I say, like a woman on the edge of sexual frustration madness.
“Where can I read one?”
“Fuck me.”
“If I fuck you, will you let me read one?”
I turn around in the tub and look him in the eyes. They are knowing. Like they know I’m his. “Fuck me like you’d fuck your wife on her wedding night.”
“And you’ll give me a story?”
I nod. “I promise.” It comes out as a whisper.
He leans down and kisses me. His hand cups the side of my face and I turn into him even more. My leg hits his erection and that makes him claim my mouth harder. His tongue pushes inside, searching. Like he’s seeking the truth and it can only be found by twining ourselves together.
And then he stands up, his strong arms around me, taking me with him. And he lifts me out of the tub and walks me out of the bathroom. The entire time we’re connected by our kiss. My knees hit the back of the bed and I stumble back.
But then his hands have me, and I finish my fall onto the bed in his arms. I pull him closer to me. I need to feel his skin against my skin, his chest against my breasts, our breathing building up to a wave of rising and falling as we stare into each other’s eyes.
“Who are you?” I ask.
“I’ll tell you when you tell me.”
And that ends it. Because we both know we’re not who we say we are. He can’t be this man who takes advantage of women on the streets and puts their bodies up on the internet. He just can’t.
And if he really believes I’m nothing more than a whore who likes to be beaten when she has sex, well, I’d be so disappointed.
“Like my wife on her wedding night?” he asks, changing the subject back.
“Mmm-hmm,” I answer.
“Does my wife want it how I’d do i
t? Or how I think she’d like it?”
“How you’d do it.” I can’t stop staring into his eyes. I want to know his secrets. I want him to know mine so bad.
“That’s not lust, Blue. That’s not sex. It’s love.”
I swallow hard, but I stay silent.
“Ask for it,” he says, still in that sexy whisper. “Ask for it and I’ll give it to you. But I want to hear the words.”
“Make love to me,” I say.
But he shakes his head. “That’s not what you want. Tell me what you want.”
I expect him to coax it out of me. Maybe tease my pussy or whisper dirty things in my ear. A little bit of coercion to take away the sting of want and longing.
But he doesn’t. He goes quiet. His gaze is steady. And his hand, though resting over my mound, ready to proceed, is still.
“Love me,” I say, giving him what he wants to hear and telling him what I want at the same time. “Love me.”
His smile makes all the vulnerability worth it. And his kiss… he kisses me like he’d kiss his wife on her wedding night. His mouth is soft and hard. His lips are punishing, yet tender. He kisses me like I’m loved.
I study her face when I stop kissing her. There’s so much more to know. So many more little tidbits of information to ask for. So many more opportunities to claim her in ways that will last far longer than the heat of what we’ll do here in my bedroom.
And then I reach under her ass and push her up to the middle of the bed. I open her legs and look down at her pussy. It’s wet from the bath as well as her arousal. It’s been professionally waxed very recently. I know this because when I sweep my tongue between her folds, it’s smooth.
She bucks her back and I take my lips to her belly. It’s flat. Too flat. It reminds me she needs to eat more, and that reminds me that we still have a dinner date waiting to be rescheduled.
She wants to be loved.
I want to take her to dinner.
She wants me to kiss her like I’d kiss my wife on her wedding night.
I want to dress her up and put her on my arm.
I crawl up her body, licking her soft skin that smells like my soap, and then stop at her nipple. I rest my mouth over it and she takes a little gasp of air. Like she needs it to tide her over until she can gulp it in. My tongue swirls around, stopping at her peak. And my dick, which is already hard, gets even harder as her nipple bunches together in my mouth.
I tip my head up to see if she’s watching, but she’s turned her cheek to the side. Her eyes are squeezed tightly closed, and she’s biting her lip.
My wife would like it soft.
This girl wants it hard.
And as if she’s reading my mind, Blue’s fingertips weave through my hair and grab hold. “More,” she whispers.
“More what?” I answer her back.
“More of everything.”
I want more of everything too. More talking. More questions. More answers. More tension as we wonder what will happen next.
But I don’t want it all at once.
And I don’t want more fucking.
I don’t want to take so much that there’s nothing left. I don’t want to use her up. I want to save her for later.
She arches her back so that her breasts press against my chest. “Please,” she says, urging me to continue. “You promised me.”
I crawl up her body further and place my hands on either side of her head as I stare down into her face. She turns so she’s looking me straight on and she knows she’s not going to get what she wants. She’s going to get what she asked for.
“Please don’t do this,” she whispers.
I can see the lust in her eyes. “I’ll love you, but you have to let me.”
“Fuck me,” she says with even more urgency. “I need it, Ark. I really do.”
I lean down and kiss her mouth. Her hands are fisting my hair now, trying desperately to pull me closer. I put my knee between her legs and she opens them wider for me. Another small squeak escapes, and again, this makes her pause. She bites her lip and looks up at me. “Now,” she says.
“Get yourself off,” I tell her. “Put your fingers inside yourself and get yourself off.”
“No,” she whines. “You said you’d love me like your wife on her wedding night. I want that, Ark. Do it.”
I don’t even know how to answer her, but I don’t have to. Because at that moment, we hear the front door opening.
JD is home.
I flop to the side of Blue and place my hand on her belly as we wait for him to find us. He calls her name a few times and for whatever reason, she doesn’t answer.
But he does find us. He walks into the room and sees us on the bed, naked. My dick is hard and her fingers are between her legs. “What’s this?” he asks, looking at me.
I shrug. “She wants to be fucked.”
“Well.” He puts on his charming smile he uses for all the whores on the street. “I can certainly accommodate.” His hands go behind his neck and he lifts his shirt over his head in one fluid movement. His bare chest is well-muscled from the gym we frequent, and his biceps flex and contract as he unzips his pants and drops them to the floor. He crawls into the bed on the other side of Blue and swipes a stray piece of hair from her eyes. “What’ve you guys been doing?” he asks with a wink.
Blue’s hand rests on top of mine and she squeezes. It’s a request. A plea, maybe. To stay here with them. To be a part of… whatever it is.
“Just getting past the formalities,” I tell him.
“Yeah?” he asks with a smile. “So everyone is satisfied? I’m too late for this party?”
“No,” Blue says. “We haven’t even started.”
He leans down, both hands holding her face like he owns her, and kisses her on the lips. It’s long. And lingering. And hot as hell. Blue draws up a leg and it hits my hard cock, draining the love I was feeling only moments ago and filling me back up with lust.
I know how bad she’s aching. I know she’s got a problem that JD will be very happy to accommodate once he figures it out. And I know there’s no way in hell I’m gonna walk off and let him have her all to himself.
So I scoot back down to her pussy and take a swipe at it with my tongue. She moans immediately. JD squeezes her tits, which only stimulates her more.
“You want to fuck us both, don’t you, Blue? You want to be our house slut?”
“Yes,” she tells him back. “Fuck me, JD. Please. Fuck me.”
JD gets up on his knees and then looks over at me. “Top or bottom, Ark?”
I get up and walk over to the dresser and pull out a video camera. When I turn back to JD and the little red light is on, he smiles. I take a seat on a chair with a good view and point my camera at them. “You first,” I tell him. “Make it dirty.”
I watch them fuck. I get it all on camera. JD rams his cock into her so hard she screams. He shoves his giant cock down her throat so far she chokes.
I fist my dick and pump it the whole time. And after he comes on her face, I stand up, hand the camera to JD, flip her over, shove her head into the mattress, and fuck her in the ass until she collapses underneath me.
If she wants it nasty, I can do nasty.
If she wants to be used like a slut, I’m happy to make her dreams come true.
I slap her on the ass. “Thanks, Blue.”
And then I go back into my bathroom and get in the shower. Feeling more like a dirty whore than she probably does.
JD is the antithesis of Ark. I knew this from the very first moment my eyes met theirs in the rain.
Ark. Serious. Brooding. Intense.
JD. Charming. Happy. Easy-going.
What am I missing? Because Ark and I have two very different takes on JD.
“You wanna go out for some food, Blue?” JD and I are kicking back on the couch and he’s watching some football-related show with his feet up on the steel and glass coffee table. I’m wearing a pair of his boxers and a t-shirt. He’s wearin
g a pair of boxers and nothing else. His chest is warm. I know this because my cheek is resting on it right now. He’s clingy. Or maybe I’m clingy and he’s accommodating.
Either way, I like it.
I look up at him and it takes him a second to pull his eyes from the TV. “Hmm?” he asks again.
“Not really. Can’t we stay in?”
He watches a few more seconds of the program and then it goes to commercial. “You’ve been cooped up in here for days. Let’s go somewhere. Tomorrow we gotta work. So I’ll be gone every night until Monday. Let’s go grab some beers or something.”
I shake my head. “I really don’t want to.”
He plays with my hair, letting the long blonde strands slip through his fingers before he reaches the end and they fall back against my face. “What if I get Ark to come? Will you go then?”
I shake my head. I like having them both close, but that’s not enough to get me to leave this house.
“I’ll go grab something,” Ark calls out from his office. He’s been in there all day doing… whatever it is he does. Website building. Or editing porn. “I gotta go by Ray’s anyway.”
“Ray’s?” JD asks. “Why?”
“He left me a message earlier. Probably about the party on Friday.”
“What party?” I ask.
“Halloween, baby,” JD says with a smile. “You gotta go out for that one. Ray has a huge thing. We’ve got our girl scheduled early that night, so you can either come with us, or we’ll swing by and pick you up afterward.” He turns his attention back to Ark. “Hey, I’ll go grab food and talk to Ray. I’m sure it’s about the girls we’ve got lined up this week.” He lifts my head up off his chest and slips out from underneath me, jogging down the hallway to his room.
I stare at the empty hallway for a second, thinking about Halloween, when Ark speaks, surprising me. “You want to explain?”
“No, not really,” I say with a smile. “You?”
“I’m not the one refusing to leave the apartment.”
“I’m not the one encouraging intimacy and then slapping my ass and saying thanks, like I’m some whore you pay to pleasure you.”