Three, Two, One (321)

by JA Huss

  He looks up, but doesn’t turn his head. He just stares at the wall across the room. “Tell me something, Blue. What exactly are you sorry for?”

  “Being…” Being what? Unfaithful? I wasn’t. I know that’s not what he’s thinking. But my mind can’t seem to go anywhere else.

  “Why do you feel guilty, Blue?” Ark prods.

  “Because it was a secret,” I whisper. “JD told me to keep it secret and I did.”

  Ark nods, but still refuses to look at me. “Secrets are bad.” He finally turns and meets my gaze. “Secrets between people who love each other are bad. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t keep this lie up. I’m calling your father, I’m taking you home, I’m putting an end to it before the shit gets out of hand. I can’t do it anymore. And I certainly can’t do it if you’re here, right in the middle of all the shit that’s happening.”

  “What?” Do what? He’s not making sense.

  But he ignores me. “I mean, I’ve not had a lot of heroic moments over the past four years, I get that. I’m no different than Ray or anyone else using women for financial gain. No matter what the reason is, there’s no excuse for letting it get this far. None.” He looks me in the eyes again. “Greed was what drove it, I think. The money just started coming. The girls were there. We had contracts, and blood tests, and scanned copies of legitimate driver’s licenses. Up and up, I always said. Up and fucking up. But it’s all bullshit, Blue. I’m one hundred percent bullshit. If I say I live by a moral code, but I can’t walk the talk, then there is no difference between them and me.”

  I don’t know what he’s talking about. The only thing I do know is that he’s dead serious. My mind races for something to hold onto. Something to buy myself some time. Because I may be sick—they probably did fuck my head up in ways that will require years of therapy—but I didn’t come all this way, or go through all that shit, in order to give up now. So I need something. Something that will draw him out of this sudden monologue that reeks of disclosure and put us back on track. “Christmas,” I murmur, almost to myself. It’s the only thing I can think of.

  “What?”

  “Christmas,” I repeat. “I do want to go home, Ark. I do want to get past all this. But please. I love you.” I climb into his lap and wrap my arms around his neck. “No matter what, I do love you. I can’t just walk out. And if you love me back, neither can you. We owe each other that much. Maybe JD is gone. I don’t know, he’s your best friend. I don’t have his secrets, only the one we made together. You have his secrets. But just because he’s gone doesn’t mean there is no us.”

  “What’s that got to do with Christmas?”

  “Let’s just stay this way until Christmas. Can’t we share one more big moment? Can’t we just give this a try? And he’s gonna come back—”

  “No,” Arks says, pushing me off his lap. “No. He can’t come back. He knows he can’t come back.” Ark walks to the other side of the room, stops when he reaches the wall, and then turns on his heel and paces back. “I told him I’d kill him and I’m dead serious. I told him that and he knows I’d never say it if it wasn’t over.”

  “If what wasn’t over?” I do not understand.

  “My protection.” Ark lets out a long breath and closes his eyes. “I protected him, Blue. I didn’t understand the extent of his issues at first.” Ark sits back down with me. “It took a long time of watching JD’s behavior before I figured out what the problem was.”

  “What’s the problem?” My heart is racing. I want to know so bad. I don’t want to know so bad.

  “JD’s violent. He’s been violent with them before, but I’ve been there to calm him down. I’ve been there—”

  My mind races to the beat of my heart. Words start coming back to me. Conversations I overheard in the beginning.

  You’re scaring her, JD.

  Take it easy, JD.

  “—when he’s taken it too far. Or he’s called me afterward and I got her help.”

  “Who?”

  “Whoever, Blue. Whoever. But he was so good with you. He was so… normal.”

  “He never beat me, Ark. It wasn’t like that.”

  “He did beat you. He just did it from the inside out.”

  And then Ark gets up and walks out of the room.

  I’m not sure how much time passes as I listen to Ark on the other side of the loft. But I know he’s packing a bag for JD. He talks to that Ray person they do business with. He talks to JD at one point, and even though I only hear Ark’s side of the conversation, and that side is calmer than I expected, I know JD’s end is not.

  I know the other end is rage.

  Ark walks back into the bedroom. I’m lying down, under the covers, still naked and ashamed. “We’re leaving,” he says.

  “What?” I sit up in bed as he starts pulling clothes out of the drawers. He throws me a hoodie and a pair of jeans.

  “Get dressed. We’re leaving in five minutes. I know where JD is, so it’s gonna take him twenty minutes to get here. So five minutes.” Ark walks out with a gym bag filled with clothes.

  I get up and put on the clothes, then find my winter boots and slip those on too. Ark comes back with my fancy winter coat. “Put it on, Blue. And I don’t want any bullshit about leaving this loft, you hear me?”

  I nod as he holds the coat open for me and I slide my arms into the smooth satin lining the sleeves. He waits as I button it up and cinch the belt at my waist. “Where are we going?” I ask as he takes my hand and tugs me down the hallway.

  My heart is pounding as I’m led through the front door and we wait for the elevator. “Where are we going?” I ask again.

  “A friend’s place. But she’s at work, so we need to stop there first.”

  When we get to the garage, he stops and looks both ways, like someone might be following us. When he decides it’s clear, we run towards a Jeep. He opens the passenger door and I climb in. Then he closes it up and walks around the front of the vehicle, his eyes darting around, looking everywhere he can in those few moments.

  It’s only when he gets in and throws something in the center console that I realize he’s got a gun. “What’s that for?”

  He ignores me, just starts the Jeep and throws it in reverse, the tires screeching on the parking garage floor. We zoom around and hit the street. He stops before pulling out, looking left and right for what seems longer than necessary with the light traffic. Then he pulls out onto the street.

  I have not been in a car since I was taken to the party the night before I escaped, and the motion makes me a little dizzy, especially since Ark is weaving in and out of traffic.

  We drive for about fifteen minutes, and then stop at a Radio Shack. He grabs the gun and jumps out, leaving the Jeep running. “If anyone approaches you, honk the horn.”

  And then the door closes and he takes off inside.

  I look around. I have no idea where I’m at, but we are a little ways out of the city. It’s a big strip mall with tons of cars. We are parked right in front of the store, but honestly, how fast can Ark get to me if someone came up?

  Who would try to get me? And just as I’m thinking that, I realize who we’re running from.

  Not JD.

  The people I escaped from.

  My heart starts to beat faster. Because even though I might’ve been holding myself prisoner in the loft with Ark and JD, I always knew I was free to go. I just didn’t have the courage to walk out the door.

  But if those people get me again, I’m done. They’ll beat me. Rape me. And then sell me or kill me or God only knows what. I twist around in my seat, trying to see all sides of the parking lot at once, but it’s too big. Several minutes go by, and I’m just about to reach for the door handle and go join Ark inside before I die of paranoia when he comes back. He throws a bag on my lap. “Open it up, Blue. Stick the SIM card in it and activate it for me as I drive.”

  “What’s going on?”

  “Just do what I say.”

  Inside t
he bag is a prepaid cell phone. Ark reaches into his pocket and hands me a knife so I can tear open the sealed plastic. I press the power button and follow the onscreen instructions for activation.

  We stop in a restaurant parking lot before I can finish, but this time, Ark turns the Jeep off. “We gotta go inside.”

  “Seriously? We’re eating? Can’t you tell me what’s going on first?”

  But he just gets out of the Jeep and walks around to my side and opens the door. He holds out his palm, and I let him help me out, handing the phone over in the process. He stuffs it in his jacket, keeps a hold of my hand, and we trudge through the slushy parking lot to the front doors.

  Once inside, he starts looking all around. “Fuck,” he utters under his breath.

  The hostess comes up and starts grabbing menus. “Two?” she asks.

  And that word, I swear to God, gives me a little pain in my chest. It shouldn’t be two, I want to say. JD can get help. I can get help. We can work this stuff out. But Ark is not even thinking about JD right now.

  “I’m looking for a waitress named Lanie. She works breakfast and dinner.”

  “Lanie?” the hostess says as she tsks her tongue and huffs out a breath. “She quit ages ago. In fact, she walked one afternoon mid-shift and never came back. No one’s heard from her since.”

  “What?” Ark asks. “When? How long ago?”

  “Oh, pfffft. I have no clue. Hey, Ritchie?” she yells across the restaurant. “When did Lanie disappear?”

  Ark squeezes my hand when he hears the word disappear.

  “’Bout six, seven weeks ago?” the cook behind the counter calls back. “She pissed me off too. I was short that night.”

  We are out of the restaurant before the cook even finishes his sentence. And when we reach the Jeep, Ark has the gun in his hand.

  “What the fuck is going on?”

  But he just blows out a breath and starts the engine. We pull back out onto the street and I know we are far from downtown, because the mountains over here are very close. “Goddamnit!” I yell when we starts weaving through side streets. “Talk to me!”

  Instead, he throws the phone back at me. “Finish the activation. I need to text someone right the fuck now.”

  “What did JD say? Why are we running?”

  But Ark ignores all my questions so I just finish the activation process and hand him the phone. He tucks it under his leg, and then reaches for the gun as he pulls up to a little house in a very nondescript suburban neighborhood.

  I grab him by the coat. “Where the fuck are we?”

  “Lanie’s house,” he says, ducking a little so he can look up at the roof.

  “Who is Lanie? And what are you doing?”

  “Goddammit, Blue! Shut up. I’m looking for snipers.”

  “Oh, my God. I’m getting out of this car—”

  He grabs me by the arm and pulls me towards him. “No. You’re not. I’m not fucking around right now, Blue. We are in a lot of trouble, OK? This girl, the waitress who’s missing? I saw her the day JD and I met you. That’s where I went that day. I needed to get two more videos for Ray to complete that week’s contract, and when I’m short, I use Lanie. So I used her that day, and now I find out she’s been missing all this time. Do you really think it’s a coincidence?”

  “I don’t get it.”

  “Well, here’s the thing, baby.” He smiles at me and pulls me in for a quick kiss. “You don’t need to get it. You just need to trust me.”

  “What about JD?”

  “We’re done with him, OK?”

  “No! He’s part of us, Ark. We can’t just throw him away. We need to get him help. We need to make sure he’s all right. We need—”

  “He sold you out, Blue.”

  “What?”

  “You heard me. All those films he made with you? The violent ones? He sold them today when he left. And do you know who he sold them to?”

  I have to swallow very hard as I shake my head.

  “The people who were keeping you prisoner, Blue. He sold. You. OK? We’re fucking done with him.”

  “But why?”

  Ark takes a long breath. “We don’t have time right now. I need to go inside and see if she’s in there. Maybe I’m overreacting. Maybe she’s just quit her job. Maybe she’s fine and this shit isn’t about to blow up in my face. I don’t think that’s the case, but I need to go check. So we don’t have time right now. You need to come with me in case people are watching her house.”

  I want to ask why. More and more whys. But he’s out of the Jeep again. And now it’s getting dark and there’s no way I can let him get away. Because if I lose him—

  “Come on,” he says, opening my door and taking my hand again. He closes the door softly behind me, and then he leads me up the short driveway to a gate that surrounds the backyard.

  He pulls the latch and we go through.

  As soon as I open the door, the putrid smell of a decaying body hits me. I close it back up and turn to face Blue.

  “Now what?” she asks.

  I just shake my head and tug her along to the detached garage and open that door with the same key I used for the house. Inside is Lanie’s Toyota Camry. “Get in,” I tell Blue, as I walk around to the driver’s side.

  “We’re stealing a car?”

  “Blue,” I tell her calmly. “Get the fuck in the car. We’re not stealing it, but I don’t have time to explain what we’re doing. Once we get somewhere safe, I’ll fill you in. But right now, we’re on the run. Do you understand? People are looking for us. Bad people. People who will kill me and take you. And if you think you get second chances to escape the kind of people who took you, you’re wrong. So we need to stay focused. Now get in the fucking car.”

  She inhales sharply, because my rant gets louder as I talk. But she walks over to the passenger side and gets in like she’s told. I get in the driver’s side, start the car up, and push the button for the garage door. It rises slowly and I almost expect an army of hitmen to be on the other side waiting. But our luck holds. I pull the car out and park it behind the Jeep. Then I turn to Blue. “Stay here. I’m gonna put the Jeep in the garage to hide our tracks if anyone comes by here looking for me.”

  I don’t wait for an answer, I just get out and climb back in the Jeep. I look at Blue’s face when I pull up the drive, and she’s looking around like she’s expecting assassins too. She’s scared. And she should be, because this is it. After four years of waiting, this is it. The moment when it all comes crashing down.

  I cut the engine, grab the prepaid phone and the bag I packed before we left, and leave the Jeep behind.

  “Who’s after us?” Blue asks when I climb back in the Camry.

  I press the button on the garage door remote and watch my Jeep disappear. I’ll probably never see it again. This hits me hard. Because this life I’ve built over the past four years wasn’t so bad as far as lives go.

  “Ark,” she says, grabbing a hold of my upper arm as I pull away from the house. “Please.”

  I turn back onto the main road, and then make a left into a bank parking lot. “Just please, Blue. In an hour we’ll be settled and I’ll tell you what I think. But I need to go into the bank and get something. I’ll be right back.”

  “No,” she says, grabbing my arm with two hands this time. “No, I don’t want to stay out here alone.”

  Her fear is real and I have to remind myself that she’s been locked up for a year and a half. No real outside contact at all. “OK. But don’t talk. Don’t ask me any questions. Don’t say anything.”

  She nods and we both get out and walk inside the bank. I point to a sitting area near the entrance and she sits as I walk up to the bank manager’s office and knock on the open door.

  “I need to access a safety deposit box.”

  “Yes, sir, please have a seat and I’ll help you with that.”

  I take a seat and give him all my information. He types away on his computer, frowning for s
everal minutes, and then finally gives me his full attention. “I’m sorry, sir. But this box has special”—he squints his eyes at me as he searches for a word—“conditions attached to it.”

  “I understand,” I tell him quickly. “I just need the box.” I hold up my key on my key chain. “Now.”

  “Yes, sir.” He clears his throat and stands, buttoning his jacket as he walks me to the back of the bank where we enter the vault.

  Two minutes later, I’m staring down at the little white drawstring bag. I peek inside. New ID. New passport. Ten thousand dollars in cash to get me through. I never got an ID or passport for Blue—she never left the house, so she never needed them. But now we need them. And she doesn’t have them. I close the box and walk back out of the room, fully aware that my actions here have been reported to the person who got me these credentials in the first place.

  “Do you need anything else, sir?”

  “No, thank you,” I say, walking back over to Blue, who is wringing her hands in her lap. She smiles weakly as she rises and then I take her by the arm and we walk outside.

  When we’re safely back inside the car and driving north up towards Boulder, she breaks our silence. “You’re not who you say you are, are you?”

  “That’s not entirely true,” I tell her back. “I’m the guy you think I am.”

  “Porn king?”

  “Check,” I say.

  “Savior of cold and shivering girls in the rain?”

  “Check.” I smile at that one and I can feel her relax a little.

  “JD’s best friend?”

  “Definitely check.” I look over at her as we get on the freeway, and then quickly look away. “This is real, Blue. All of it. Everything I’ve done with you and with JD. It’s real. So no matter what happens, don’t ever forget that. OK?” I chance another look over at her and she nods. But her expression is somber. Almost sad. “Hey,” I say, grabbing her knee and giving it a squeeze. “Don’t worry. It’s gonna be OK. I swear. I know you’re probably imagining all kinds of things about me right now, but I swear, it’s gonna be OK.”