TONY: Slow Burn (Raging Fire Book 1)

by Kallypso Masters

  Tony placed his hand on her arm again, squeezing reassuringly. He wanted to help ground her in the present as she revisited the pain of losing her big brother. The image of Carm suffering in silence, hiding her own hurt while helping everyone else in the family, broke his heart. He wished he could have been there for her, even though he didn’t even know her back then.

  Tony waited for her to continue. When she didn’t, he kept his questions to himself, not one to poke his nose into other people’s business. Maybe she wanted to keep the rest private. Marc didn’t talk about Gino on their shifts, either—and firefighters shared just about everything while sitting around the station. Marc and Gino had been the closest in age and probably had a relationship similar to Rafe and Franco’s as the two oldest brothers in the family.

  Tony took a sip, the liquor burning a hole in his almost-empty stomach. He probably should ask for some chips or something to soak it up but didn’t want to interrupt this moment. Both of them shared the bond of suffering significant losses in their families.

  After another sip of her own, Carm continued. “It has taken me years since that meltdown, including almost a year of therapy, to come to terms with my anger.”

  “Anger?”

  She nodded. “At the military, at the 9/11 insurgents who spurred him to join the Marines, at the world for being so screwed up.” She grew silent, sliding her thumb up and down in the condensation on the side of her glass as if it were the most fascinating thing in the world. “Even angry at Gino for enlisting.” She shrugged. “Anyway, that night, over a pitcher of Painkillers my roommate had made for us, I shared my grief and loss with someone for the first time.” She huffed. “Probably made her wish she’d invited someone else on vacation.”

  “Not if she was a true friend. And I’m sure it helped you to have someone to talk to who wasn’t so closely connected to the situation.”

  “Talk, cry, scream. I did it all that night.”

  “You do whatever it takes to manage and move on.”

  “Besides my roommate and my therapist, you’re the only other person I’ve shared that with.” Carm gave him a lopsided smile.

  She was opening up to him. Should he let down his own guard and share with her his own experience with grief at a young age? Tony didn’t usually talk about his feelings, but for some reason found himself saying, “I understand. I felt some of the same things when my papa died.”

  Tony couldn’t believe he’d brought up Papa’s death with Carm, but suddenly felt the need to go on. “Mama said he’d recently been diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer. The best we can figure is that he knew his life was about done, so he sent the other SAR volunteers back up the hillside to wait for the chopper while he stayed behind to comfort the injured Mrs. Denton. Time just ran out for them both.”

  When Carm placed her hand over his and squeezed, she jarred him from the memory. Tony downed the rest of his drink not liking the feeling of making himself vulnerable one bit.

  When he met her gaze again, a look of compassion had entered her eyes. “Marc told us about the avalanche when he learned about it while working with Luke.” Marc’s SAR partner at the time had lost his wife in the same tragedy. “Your papa saved the lives of so many of his SAR family on the mountain that day.”

  Tony nodded his agreement. “As I’m sure Gino did in Afghanistan too.” She nodded to confirm. “Neither one of them would have traded places with anyone else in those situations.”

  “Never. Gino loved being a Marine. He was awarded a medal for his bravery. Oh, he looked so handsome in his dress blues.” Her lower lip trembled, and she reached for her glass as if to hide the emotion, but Tony leaned closer.

  “You never have to hide your feelings with me, Carmella.”

  Carm blinked rapidly and gave him a shaky smile, a single tear breaking free and trailing down her cheek. Tony brushed it away with his thumb and cupped her cheek.

  When she sat back in her chair, contact between them was broken. “Anyway, every time I’ve come to the Caribbean since then, I’ve made these drinks more as a salute to my brother who never got a chance to get away to a paradise like this during his short life.”

  Tony didn’t spend time thinking about whether Papa was with him at any particular time, although he did ask him for guidance during his missions, just in case. He searched for something comforting to say. “I’m sure Gino joins you whenever you think about him.”

  She smiled. “I like to think he does. Sometimes I feel him around me.” She shrugged. “Honestly, I make them now more for tradition than for any therapeutic benefit. They’re quite tasty.” Carm offered him a refill, but he declined. He needed to go easy on the alcohol this week.

  After several more sips, she seemed to have said all she was going to on the subject of her brother. Tony chose to lighten the mood with a change of topic. “I’d love to cook breakfast for us tomorrow. Mind if I take stock?” He motioned toward the industrial-sized stainless steel refrigerator.

  “Be my guest.” Her hand swept him in that direction. “I bought some of the basics earlier today, figuring I wouldn’t be going out for breakfast.”

  He opened the door to find thick-sliced bacon, a carton of large eggs, two bags of grated cheeses, a can of biscuits, and a bottle of orange juice. “I think you pretty much thought of everything but some veggies for omelets.”

  She laughed again. God, he loved that sound, especially after such a deep conversation. “I’m on vacation! Cooking isn’t on my agenda, much less eating healthy. I planned to scramble them and sprinkle cheese on top. But we can go shopping for more ingredients if you’d like. I’d love to taste one of your omelets. Cooking must run in your family, given what a great chef Angelina is.”

  Tony chuffed. “I think we’re the only two Giardano siblings who enjoy going near a stove for fun. Our other brothers do so only for basic survival mode or because it’s their turn to cook at their stations.”

  “Well, now all I can think about is dinner.”

  “I’m starving too,” he admitted. “Want me to whip up something?”

  “Only if all you want is eggs for supper. Let’s go out.”

  “Sounds great.”

  “We can walk. I haven’t been on the beach yet.” She glanced down at his feet. “I see you’re already wearing sandals.”

  “Always prepared. Ready to go then?” he asked.

  “Absolutely.” She slipped her feet into a pair of flip-flops next to the patio door. “Follow me.”

  He hadn’t been sure before he arrived whether his showing up would be awkward or comfortable, but things seemed to be picking up where they’d left off on their last date. Watching the sway of her ass as she crossed the patio and headed toward the gate that led to the beach, he decided that coming here might be one of his better choices lately.

  On the beach, she reached out her hand. He took it in his, and they strolled along together.

  Don’t read anything into it. She probably just wants you to steady herself on the loose sand.

  Once they reached the wet, packed sand, he expected her to let go of his hand, but she held on. Tony didn’t resist.

  “By the way,” Tony began, “while waiting for my connection in Atlanta, I called a local dive shop, and they’ll be able to accommodate me for some lessons this week.”

  “That’s wonderful! You’ll probably find some firefighters and EMTs in the classes. I’ve had at least one first responder in every class I’ve taken on past dives.”

  Why had it taken Tony so long to discover the secret of how therapeutic diving could be? Because you haven’t needed therapy before.

  “When you aren’t taking your lessons, maybe you can join one of my recreational dives, if they still have room. I’m going to explore a shipwreck on Wednesday and a coral reef Thursday.”

  “I don’t have my shipwreck certification card yet.”

  “I wouldn’t worry too much. You can go up to the wreck without one, but they have yet to ask me for proo
f of mine to go inside the two wrecks I’ve been to in the past. Even if they do ask, we might get a divemaster who doesn’t object to letting you inside, as long as you stay close to him or her.”

  “Sounds good to me.” They compared dive schedules, and it sounded as though he would be able to join her if there was space for another diver on the boat. “I’ll see if I can do the coral reef one, too. What are you doing tomorrow?”

  “It’s been a couple of years since I’ve been on a dive, so I’m doing a refresher in the late afternoon and an evening lecture on nighttime diving. On Friday, I’m hoping to continue my certification for night diving.”

  “What can you see underwater at night?”

  “Oh, T.G.,” she turned toward him, and her face lit up, “from the videos I’ve watched, it’s a whole different world down there at night. The dive light casts an eerie glow, and nocturnal animals come out from everywhere.”

  “Like sharks?”

  She laughed and resumed walking, but he thought it was a pertinent question. “Of course, but most sharks won’t bother you.”

  “I just don’t want to meet any that object to my invasion of their territory—or mistake me for their dinner.”

  Carm flicked her hand in the air, swatting away his concerns. Despite his worries about what they might encounter down there at night, he was determined to get into that lecture tomorrow and to join her on those after-dark dives. Maybe he could ward off any predators—marine or human—that might come at Carm.

  Shipwreck and coral reef diving sounded interesting, though. He sure wouldn’t find any of those to explore back in Colorado and didn’t want to pass up any opportunity to dive this week. Experiencing them with Carm would be icing on the cake.

  Yeah, perhaps in time he’d eventually convince himself that the only diving he was talking about was in the water—not diving between the sheets with this beautiful woman. He ought to stay away from her for her own sake, but the more time he spent with Carm, the more he wanted.

  As they neared a strip of restaurants, Carm asked, “I hope you’re in the mood for seafood tonight.”

  I’m more in the mood for you.

  The thought of tasting her became foremost in his mind until he shook the fantasy away and said, “I wouldn’t eat anything else on an island.”

  “What’s your favorite?”

  “Living in a mountainous, landlocked state, I pretty much love everything except sushi.”

  “Same here. Well, and squid.”

  Just you wait until my family’s Feast of the Seven Fishes. More than ever, he hoped he’d be able to share that with her this Christmas.

  “I was told there’s a place along here somewhere that has fabulous shrimp, crab, and scallops.”

  “Sounds good to me.”

  “Which?”

  “All three,” he said. “I’ll get a platter. Haven’t eaten much today. And dinner’s on me to thank you for inviting me to join you.”

  “Okay, thanks. I’ll get tomorrow’s dinner—unless you’re cooking for me before class, in which case, I’ll pick up the tab for the groceries.”

  “Fair enough.” Not that he would let her spend a lot of money on him this week.

  The ocean water came closer to their feet with each surge, but they remained dry until a particularly aggressive wave came barreling toward them. Carm laughed and tried to escape getting wet.

  Tony wrapped his arm around her waist, lifted her up, and pulled her against him. Staring at her face, he became aware of how much he wanted to kiss her. Carm’s smile faded as her gaze lowered from his eyes to his lips. Her fingertips stroked the back of his head and tickled the nape of his neck.

  God, I want to kiss you in the worst way, Carm.

  The admission finally broke through all the bullshit he’d been telling himself about why he went to the airport to join her. Coming here had little to do with diving in tropical waters and a whole lot more to do with spending time with Carm and seeing where it might take them.

  Before he could act on the impulse to kiss her, Carm leaned in and placed her warm lips against his, taking him by surprise. There was nothing hotter than a woman who went after what she wanted. Needing no further invitation, he tightened his hold and slowly eased her body down the length of his. Tony placed his hand behind her head, pressed his tongue against her lips, and deepened the kiss when she welcomed him inside.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Yes!

  Carm had wanted to kiss Tony for the longest time, but waiting for this man to make a move was like watching molasses flow down Capitol Peak in January. When the wave had come at them and she wound up in Tony’s arms, she’d decided to set the tone for what she wanted this week. And she wanted Tony.

  His hand holding her head in place was all the proof she needed that he wanted this too. His firm yet pliant lips pressed against her softer ones, then his tongue teased her lips until she was at a fever pitch for more.

  Opening her mouth to him, Tony’s tongue dove right in but quickly retreated in a playful way. When she didn’t resist, he entered again and began his slow and thorough exploration. His other hand at her lower back pressed her against the entire length of his body, letting her know unequivocally that he desired her.

  Oh yes!

  Tony’s hot and cold signals had been driving her nuts even before he showed up at the villa. At the moment, he was definitely running hot—and so was she. Perhaps this week, they would take this tepid relationship to the torrid level it should be at, because Carm had never found any man as exciting as she did Tony.

  Carm played with the hair at the back of his head, in part to be ready to pull him closer if he decided to break off the kiss, but also because she’d been dying to touch him for so long. Her nipples peaked at the thought of making love with him. Would that happen later tonight? Contemplating what he might do with his mouth, his hands, his cock aroused her even more. Would they start out rough and fast to expel the pent-up frustrations they both must be feeling, then later switch to a slower pace to thoroughly explore each other’s bodies and learn what each enjoyed?

  A moan escaped her at the vivid images in her mind, and Tony deepened the kiss, making her wonder what it would be like to take his cock into her mouth. She stroked his left shoulder and down his arm until she reached the hem of his shirt and slipped her hand underneath, trailing her fingers lightly over his taut abs to his nipple. He moved his hands to her butt and his hips ground against hers, confirming his excitement and causing a quiver of raw energy to radiate through her body.

  As quickly as they’d come together, however, Tony’s grip moved to her upper arms, and he shifted her away, breaking the kiss and all contact. Both of them stared at each other as they fought to catch their breath. Tony spoke first.

  “Are you sure about this, Carm?” The distress on his face made her wonder what could possibly be wrong. What had doused the fires they’d both been feeling?

  “I’d say we both are—or at least we both were a few seconds ago.”

  He visibly fought back a grin, which was better than the expression he’d worn seconds before. “You know I’m interested in pursuing something more with you, Carm, even though we’ve only seen each other a few times since the wedding and were at loggerheads a few of those times. You’re someone I care a lot about; I just don’t want to hurt you.”

  “Then don’t.”

  “You know I wouldn’t do anything on purpose, but…”

  He left the rest of the thought unspoken, leaving Carm with no clue why he thought he could or would do her any harm.

  Maybe he was worried about continuing the relationship beyond this island. “If you think I won’t be able to handle it if this—whatever this is—doesn’t work out, then don’t worry about me, T.G. I’ve had my share of break-ups, and I’ve survived.” She was making her experience in the dating department sound much busier than it actually had been, but she’d been on the giving and receiving end of breakups before. However, what
if Tony wasn’t capable of commitment? Was that what kept holding him back from pursuing a romantic relationship with her?

  Even men who couldn’t commit sometimes found that one woman they couldn’t live without. Could she be that woman for Tony?

  “Don’t overthink it. Live in the moment. We have a week together. No strings attached. Just you, me, and paradise.” Her arm swept toward the beach and strip of shops and restaurants ahead of them. She needed to have a physical relationship with him, even if it went no further. “Don’t take things too seriously at this stage.” Although deep down, she did think he might become that special man in her life. She cared about him a lot and had fun whenever she was with him.

  “Tony, I find you ridiculously sexy and all I’m asking is that we explore the attraction we obviously feel for each other.” He couldn’t deny that his body had been turned on by her just a few moments ago. “If we burn up in flames after a week, then that’ll be the end of it.” She hoped she’d survive if that happened, because everything with Tony was so much more intense than she’d experienced with any other man. “But the only regrets I’d have after this week would be if we didn’t explore what’s happening between us to see if it’s worth kindling.” Not to mention going home with extreme sexual frustration.

  He searched her eyes a long moment, then sighed. Carm couldn’t read what that meant and almost expected him to tell her a bald-faced lie—that he didn’t desire her as much as she did him—but his smoldering gaze made her breath catch in her throat.

  “Carmella, I’ve fought this attraction for you since—hell, maybe since that first night I met you at the café when I came to get Angelina after she and Marc had a falling out.”