The Swan Maid

by Dilly Court

  ‘There’s very little I can do, but I’ll make sure you have everything you need until you leave for England.’

  ‘Thank you, Tom.’ She started walking towards the camp and he fell into step beside her.

  ‘Where will you go, and how will you manage when you return to London?’

  ‘I can’t think about that now. I suppose I could go to The Swan, where I used to work, but that would be the last resort. Anyway, I don’t want to leave here in case Gideon is found. He might have been injured, or taken prisoner.’

  ‘That’s very unlikely,’ Tom said gently. ‘There’s little doubt as to the fate of all those who were in the station when it was hit.’

  ‘Then why do I feel like this?’ She turned her head to look him in the eyes. ‘If there is no hope, why can’t I let him go?’

  ‘Only you can answer that, Lottie. But you have Molly to think of, and what will happen to the boy? Then there’s Ruby. You two seem to have become good friends.’

  ‘I don’t know what she will do, but I’ll take care of Molly and Teddy too.’ She quickened her pace. ‘I need to speak to Ruby.’

  ‘Of course.’ He lengthened his stride. ‘Have you any family who might help?’

  ‘No, not really.’ She came to a halt outside the hut. ‘I appreciate your concern, Tom, but you mustn’t worry about us. We’ll manage somehow.’

  Ruby received the news with a shrug. ‘It’s what I would have expected, Lottie. You were a fool to tell him.’

  ‘Maybe, but Molly comes from a titled family. She deserves more than the sort of life I can give her.’

  Ruby threw the last of their possessions into a sack provided by Tom. ‘A child needs love more than money. You’ll be a better mother to her than Lady Aurelia would have been, and I don’t know about the lieutenant, but I doubt if his family would want a little bastard thrust upon them.’

  ‘Don’t call her that. Molly is a love child, and I won’t allow her to grow up thinking anything else.’

  Ruby chuckled. ‘She doesn’t understand a word of what we’re saying. She won’t know any of this, unless you choose to tell her.’

  ‘I can’t see into the future, Ruby. All I can think of is Gideon.’

  ‘He’s gone, just like my husband, and they won’t be coming back. We have to go on by ourselves, but you ain’t alone. I’m with you, if you want me. The only prospect I’ve got is to try and earn my living as a nursery maid when we get back to London. I’ve got no one waiting for me.’

  ‘Neither have I.’ Lottie glanced out of the window. Teddy was watching the last of the troops leaving for the next assault on Sebastopol. She knew that he wanted to return to his unit, but that was out of the question. He would be sad for a while, but he was young and would soon forget his former life as a drummer boy. She was about to turn away when she saw a familiar figure trudging towards the hut, the yellow and red streamers flying like pennants from her blue bonnet.

  Momentarily forgetting her heartache, Lottie hurried to meet her. ‘Mrs Seacole, this is a surprise.’

  Mary stopped, bending over and holding her side and panting. ‘I’m not as young as I used to be, honey. I just heard of your troubles. They sure don’t need a telegraph in Balaklava. News travels quicker than a flash. Anyway, I’m on my way to the British Hotel, but I stopped to transact some business at Lord Raglan’s residence and I heard that you would be leaving soon.’

  ‘I wasn’t given the choice, ma’am. You might say that my mind was made up for me.’

  ‘Yes, I know that well enough, honey.’ Mary enveloped her in a motherly hug. ‘You take care of yourself and that little baby. I brought her into the world and I have a personal interest in the little mite.’

  Lottie returned the embrace. ‘You were wonderful, Mother Seacole. Molly will be safe with me and I’ll see she has the best possible start in life.’

  ‘I know you will, child.’ Mary held her at arm’s length, her shrewd eyes twinkling. ‘You have it bad now, but you will win out in the end. I see it written in the stars.’ She released Lottie and wrapped her colourful shawl around her shoulders as a chill wind whipped at her bonnet strings. ‘I have to go now. My business partner, Mr Day, is waiting for me at the top of the hill. It’s a pity you won’t be around when I open my hotel where there will be good food, excellent wine and solace for the hard-pressed officers and men, but I hope to see you in England when the war is over.’ She was about to leave but Lottie caught her by the hand.

  ‘When Molly is christened I think one of her names should be Mary. She came before her time and may not have survived if you hadn’t helped her mother give birth.’

  Mary hesitated and her dark eyes were bright with unshed tears. ‘I take that as the greatest compliment of all, honey. Thank you, kindly.’ She continued up the hill, swaying from side to side like a ship in full sail.

  Lottie turned to Teddy, who had been listening, open-mouthed. ‘There goes a great lady.’

  ‘Are we really going to leave here, Lottie?’ he asked anxiously. ‘I don’t want to go back to England. I’m a soldier.’

  ‘You are a soldier, Teddy. You’re a brave one too, but for now you have to return to civilian life. We have no choice but to return to London.’

  ‘I got no one, Lottie.’

  ‘That’s not true. You have me and Ruby and the baby. I told you, we’re a family, and we’ll do well together. Now I want you to help us move our things back to the tent, and we’ll need kindling for the fire and fresh water. We’re going to be very busy.’

  He slipped his hand into hers. ‘I’m sorry about the lady and your man. Maybe they ain’t dead after all. I seen men left for dead on the battlefield who got up and walked off like nothing had happened.’

  ‘There’s always hope, Teddy,’ Lottie said briskly. ‘We won’t give up, ever.’

  Finally, after weeks of waiting for a ship to take them home, Lottie, Ruby and the children were on a screw steamer wending its way through the narrow channel to the Black Sea, bound for England. Lottie was glad to leave Balaklava and all the pain and misery of war, but part of her refused to accept the fact that she would never see Gideon again. In her heart she was convinced that they would be reunited in life, if not in death, but she had two innocent children who needed her love and protection. She did not know how she was going to manage when they reached London, but she was determined that Lady Aurelia’s daughter would not suffer from her mother’s indifference.

  During the long days at sea Lottie had plenty of time to work out a plan of action on her return to London. Her first mission, after finding them somewhere to live, would be to seek out Lady Aurelia’s family. It would hardly be fair to raise a child in the East End, when that little girl was heir to her mother’s fortune. Lottie was still smarting from Colonel Dashwood’s reaction to the news that his wife had given birth to another man’s child, and she did not hold out much hope for a better outcome from the aristocratic de Morgan family, but Molly had much to gain if her wealthy and influential relatives chose to recognise her.

  The ship was crowded with injured men and both Lottie and Ruby found themselves acting as unpaid nurses, helping the hard-pressed orderlies to cope with festering wounds and fevers. Teddy also did his bit to help in as much as he was able with one arm in a sling. He took food and water to the men who were confined to their bunks, and kept them amused with tales of his exploits in battle. Lottie overheard some of his stories and had to turn away with a smile. She could see that the injured soldiers were highly entertained, accepting Teddy’s embroidered accounts of past events in good part. Working hard and helping to nurse the wounded men helped Lottie to get through each day, but the pain of losing Gideon was still as intense as at the moment she had learned of his death. She could not speak of it to Ruby, who had suffered a double loss, and Teddy was too young to understand. She buried the anguish deep inside, telling herself that no one died of a broken heart; they just ceased to live.

  At night they shared a tiny, fo
ur-berth cabin, living in conditions that were worse than those they had endured in camp, but at the end of the day they were all too tired to care where they laid their heads. Molly was sleeping for longer in between feeds, which allowed Ruby more time to rest. It was not a pleasure cruise, and the conditions were quite shocking, but somehow they managed to get through each day and, apart from a rough passage across the Bay of Biscay, the weather was kind to them.

  Lottie had hoped that the ship would dock in London, but they disembarked at Southampton and had to find their own way to the railway station, where they caught a train to Waterloo Bridge station. By this time Lottie’s funds were running low and it was late in the evening. She could think of nowhere to go other than The Swan, and with two tired children and Ruby, who was flagging, she had little alternative but to hire a cab.

  It seemed strange to be back in London. Her memories of Balaklava had faded a little during the sea voyage, but the city, with all its noxious smells and teeming streets, seemed to wrap itself around her like a warm blanket. This was her home and it felt good to be back on English soil, and away from the sounds of battle.

  The cab stopped on the corner of Milk Street, and Ruby, who had fallen asleep soon after they left Waterloo Bridge, opened her eyes with a start.

  ‘Where are we?’ She sat up straight. ‘Where’s the baby?’

  ‘I have her safe in my arms,’ Lottie said, smiling. ‘If you’ll take her, I’ll help Teddy with our bags.’

  Laden with their luggage, they made their way into the courtyard of The Swan with Two Necks, and for once all was quiet, apart from the occasional whinny of a horse in the stable and the sound of raucous laughter as the door to the taproom opened and Jem emerged carrying two buckets. He came to a halt, and dumped them down, spilling dirty water on the cobblestones.

  ‘By God, it can’t be. Lottie, it is you. What are you doing here, girl?’

  ‘We’ve come a long way, Jem, and we’re all bone tired. We need a bed for the night.’

  He ran his hand through his already tousled hair. ‘We got plenty of rooms. Business ain’t too good at the moment.’

  ‘That’s the trouble, Jem. I can pay, but not very much. One room will be fine and we’ll make do. We just need to rest and recover from the long journey.’

  ‘Ain’t you going to introduce me, Lottie?’ Jem asked, staring at Ruby. He ruffled Teddy’s hair. ‘And who might you be, young man?’

  ‘I’m Drummer Miller, of the 97th, sir.’ Teddy stood to attention.

  ‘Teddy was wounded in battle,’ Lottie said hastily. ‘He is temporarily unfit for military service.’

  Jem threw back his head and laughed. ‘And I thought we had a deserter on our hands.’ He slapped Teddy on the back. ‘Well done, son.’

  ‘I ain’t your son, mate,’ Teddy said, scowling. ‘I’m a soldier and I’ve seen things that would make your hair stand on end more than it is now.’

  Lottie could see the beginnings of an argument and she laid her hand on Jem’s arm. ‘We’re very tired. Our ship docked earlier today and we’ve travelled all the way from Southampton. We need food and somewhere to sleep.’ She turned her head, following Jem’s anxious glance, and saw Mrs Filby heading towards them.

  ‘What’s all this? We don’t take in gypsies.’

  Lottie had not given it any thought until this moment, but she realised now that they must present a sorry picture in their travel-stained clothes. Washing clothes had presented a real problem on board ship, and personal hygiene had been the least of their worries.

  ‘It’s me, Mrs Filby. Lottie Lane.’

  ‘Lottie!’ Mrs Filby peered at her and her expression changed subtly. ‘You look a sorry sight. What happened? Did the fine lady get tired of you and send you packing?’ She treated Ruby and the children to a cursory glance. ‘And who are these people?’

  Molly began to cry, and at the same time a carriage and pair clattered into the yard. The ostlers appeared as if from nowhere and Filby emerged from the taproom, followed by Ruth.

  ‘We need a room for the night, Mrs Filby,’ Lottie said urgently. ‘I can pay.’

  ‘Jem, get to work. Don’t stand there like a half-wit.’ Prudence Filby hesitated, glaring at Lottie and then she nodded. ‘All right. You can have the top room, you know the one.’

  Lottie did know the room she meant. It was the smallest and least comfortable in the whole building, but it was also the cheapest. She nodded. ‘All right, I’ll take it, and we need supper for that price too.’

  ‘You can’t come in the dining room looking like didicoys, and you don’t smell too good either.’

  ‘Then I’ll collect our food from the kitchen, Mrs Filby.’

  ‘All right. Tell Cook I said you might, but I’ll add it to your bill.’ Mrs Filby bustled off to help her husband greet the newcomers.

  ‘Are you sure about this?’ Ruby asked, hitching Molly over her shoulder and rubbing her tiny back. ‘She doesn’t seem very pleased to see you.’

  ‘Have you got any better ideas?’

  Ruby shook her head.

  ‘Then follow me.’ Lottie beckoned to Teddy. ‘Come on. I’ll show you the way and then we’ll go to the kitchen and get something to eat.’

  ‘I’m bloody starving.’ Teddy ducked as Lottie took a half-hearted swipe at him. ‘Sorry. It slipped out. I ain’t got used to being around ladies.’

  ‘You’d better mind your manners, young man,’ Lottie said severely. ‘We’re in London now, not the camp at Balaklava.’

  The yard was bustling with activity and Lottie led them to the top floor. She opened the door and there was just enough light from the gas lamp on the far side of the building to make out a double bed, a chest of drawers and a wooden chair. She put the cases she had been carrying on the floor.

  ‘Make yourself comfortable, Ruby. Teddy and I will get some food. I just hope that Jezebel isn’t in one of her states.’

  Ruby slumped down on the chair and unbuttoned her blouse to allow the baby to suckle. ‘We can’t all sleep in one bed. This is worse than the cabin on board ship.’

  ‘I saw Ruth in the yard. I’ll see if I can borrow a palliasse and one of us can sleep on the floor. We’ll manage, and everything will look better in the morning.’ Lottie tried to sound convincing. ‘Come on, Teddy. Let’s see if you can charm Cook into giving us something tasty.’

  In the kitchen nothing seemed to have changed. Jezebel was at the range, stirring a large pan of soup, and the table was littered with dirty crockery, dangerous-looking knives, wooden spoons and vegetable peelings. It was Lad who rushed over to greet them, barking ecstatically as he jumped up to lick Lottie’s hand.

  Jezebel turned round, scowling ominously. ‘What d’you want? I’m busy.’

  ‘It’s me, Lottie.’

  ‘I can see that. If you’re not here to help you can get out of my kitchen. I haven’t got time for idle gossip.’

  ‘We’re paying for our night’s board and lodging,’ Lottie said firmly. ‘I came to get food.’

  Teddy went down on his knees to pet the dog and Lad responded by licking his face. Jezebel stared at him in surprise. ‘He hates nippers, especially little boys.’

  ‘He seems to like Teddy.’ Lottie went to the table and began to tidy up the mess. ‘You need help, Cook. You should tell Mrs Filby.’

  Jezebel put the spoon down and opened the oven door. ‘I’ve told her that time and time again, but does she take any notice? No, she does not.’ She took out a tray of pies. ‘How many arrived just now? Did you see?’

  Lottie piled the crockery onto a tray. ‘No, but Teddy will take a look in the dining room, if you like. I’ll put these in the scullery sink.’

  ‘Through there, boy,’ Jezebel said, pointing to the door. ‘Turn right and the dining parlour is at the end of the corridor. Look in and count the people. You can count, I suppose.’

  ‘Hold hard, lady. I’m a drummer boy in the army. How d’you suppose I’d learn the beats if I couldn’t count?�
� Teddy rose to his feet and stomped out of the kitchen with Lad following on his heels.

  For once, Jezebel seemed at a loss for words.

  Lottie deposited the crockery and came back to finish clearing the table. ‘There, now you can work. It’s all a question of being organised and keeping tidy.’

  ‘When I want a lesson in kitchen management I’ll ask for it,’ Jezebel said crossly. ‘Where is that boy?’

  Teddy reappeared, holding up his hand. ‘There’s five in there, and the sergeant-major lady says there’s another four that want food in the taproom.’

  ‘That’s one name for her,’ Jezebel said, curling her lip. ‘I can think of a few more.’

  ‘If I take the soup to the door, she can serve it.’ Lottie was even more aware of her dishevelled appearance and her need to wash. She would not dare enter the dining room, but she could help out an old friend, just this once.

  Jezebel served the soup and Lottie carried the laden tray to the door of the dining parlour where Mrs Filby snatched it off her.

  ‘I don’t know what you think you’re playing at, but this won’t make your bill any cheaper. Now get away from here. You look like something the cat dragged in.’

  Lottie shrugged and returned to the kitchen. She had not expected any thanks, but at least Jezebel seemed grateful. She had placed two bowls of soup on the table with some slices of fresh bread and a dish of golden butter.

  ‘Eat up before she comes in and catches you. There’s meat pie too.’

  ‘Thank you,’ Lottie said with a grateful smile. ‘I’m starving. In fact we all are. We’ll have to take Ruby’s up to her.’

  ‘Who’s she?’ Jezebel demanded.

  ‘Ruby is a friend, and she’s in the room feeding the baby.’

  ‘Baby? What baby? It can’t be yours, Lottie.’

  Teddy wiped his empty bowl with a chunk of bread. ‘Molly’s real ma don’t want her,’ he said in a matter-of-fact voice. He shot a sideways glance at Lottie, who was staring at him, open-mouthed. ‘You think I don’t know what goes on because I’m only eleven, but I got eyes and ears, and I ain’t stupid. Little Molly is a b—’