Holiday Magic
Page 28
“Cross my heart,” he said. “More people die on Christmas than any other day of the year.”
“My God,” Tara said.
“Don’t worry,” Darren said. “Not around here they don’t. And you know why? Because we’re no longer allowing ourselves to freak out. I mean really—what happened to Christmas? Isn’t it supposed to be time for family? Relaxing? The United States of Advertising, that’s what happened to Christmas. You can’t even get through Halloween without the stores stocking Santa on the shelf.”
“Tell me about it,” Tara said.
“I’m just trying to bring a little joy,” Darren said. Tara looked at a man playing an elf. He was strutting around with an enormous, strategically placed candy cane.
“What’s his story?” Tara asked. She pointed to the elf.
“Oh, he’s just nuts,” Darren said. Tara laughed. They turned to each other, enjoying a shared sense of humor. Soon they stopped laughing, and just stared.
“So what’s your story?” she asked.
“I should get you home,” Darren said. “You’ve had a long day.”
“I won’t argue,” Tara said. “Although don’t think I didn’t notice how you’re ignoring my question.” She went to clean up the dishes. Darren quickly put his hands on her, and took away the dish she held.
“Don’t even think about it,” he said. “Now get in the truck.” Dog barked and wagged his tail. “Now that’s the reaction I want to see,” Darren joked. Tara punched him on the shoulder. He grabbed her hand. Soon, they were holding hands.
“I could stay,” Tara said.
“Not tonight,” Darren said. Tara tried to pretend she wasn’t miffed. She thought he liked her. She was willing. She was on vacation. Men didn’t just turn down sex. Especially men like Darren. He wasn’t interested. She walked quickly to the door and opened it. He closed it. She didn’t turn around, but she could feel him behind her. “Hey,” he said softly. “Did I upset you?”
“No,” she said. “It’s okay. I get it. You’re just not that into me.” Darren put his hands on her shoulders and turned her to face him.
“I am so totally into you,” he said. “Believe me.”
“Then why?”
“I have a backyard full of horny elves and bad Santas,” Darren said. “That’s not exactly how I envisioned our first time.”
“So you’ve…envisioned us?”
“Oh yeah,” Darren said. “Have you?” Oh yeah. And you have no idea how much my stuff would like your stuff. Tara’s answer was a smile. He smiled back. “I promise,” he said. “Soon.” He leaned in and kissed her cheek.
“Just remember I’m on vacation,” Tara said. “We only have so much time.” Darren nodded, but Tara couldn’t help but notice the frown line that appeared on his forehead. And although she didn’t want to admit it, she wanted him to say something back. Something that would make her feel better. She was already fantasizing about the two of them, and unless you moved in and had children with your flings, she was taking her thoughts a little too far. She was going to have to get a grip. He was a fling. Nothing more. He would never be anything more.
Chapter 10
Tara didn’t think bringing Nadine with her to the opening of the Island Pole was a good idea, but Nadine insisted. Their parents were taking a late night stroll, and Phil was instructed to make Christmas cookies with Tiara.
“Did you know Christmas is the deadliest day of the year?” Tara said as Nadine drove. “Stress relief is very important this time of year.” Nadine didn’t take the bait. She wanted to change the village to G-rated and that was that. As Darren predicted, there was a long line of cars waiting to get into the village. Nadine drummed her fingers on the steering wheel.
“You’re going to have to get out and make a run for it,” she said.
“What?”
Nadine unlocked the passenger door. “It’s going to take me too long to park.”
“So what’s your plan?” Tara asked. Nadine laid it out for her. She told Tara that instead of doing the “act,” she should talk to the people about the magic of Christmas, the gentle side of reindeer. Tara balked. Nadine held her ground.
“You have the power, Tara. Don’t forget that.” Nadine leaned over, opened the door, and kicked her out of the car.
“Reindeer,” Tara said to the people walking by, “are actually gentle beings.” She was still wearing her jogging suit, refusing to don her bikini. “You know Dasher and Dancer, and Prancer, and Vixen—”
She thought her voice was pretty good, but the people walking by didn’t linger long. They looked slightly disgusted. When the reindeer opened its mouth to show teeth, she would shake her head. “It was one rogue reindeer,” she said. “We can’t paint them all with the same sordid brush. Alfred-slash-Blitzen was a diva. If male reindeers can be divas. Whatever—he had an ego. He was the Mel Gibson of reindeer. Really, most of them are hardworking and humble.” Darren popped up in front of her.
“What the hell are you doing?” he asked.
“I’m behaving like an adult,” Tara said. “Sharing messages of peace.”
“You’re boring everyone to death,” Darren said.
“I’m teaching them the true meaning of Christmas,” Tara said.
“Why don’t you just make them laugh?” Darren said.
“Darren—”
“Just try it. Once. I promise, if you don’t like it, you can go back to—whatever it was you were doing.” Darren stood back, crossed his arms against his chest and waited.
Oh heck. It couldn’t hurt. Tara took off her track-suit and stood in her red bikini. She could feel Darren’s eyes all over her, but she didn’t dare look at him. She donned her Santa hat and slipped on red high heels. She wanted to try this once, get it over with before Nadine came through. When the reindeer opened its mouth, she stuck her hand in and gave a little scream. Darren nodded his encouragement. An elderly couple passing by stopped and laughed. Tara looked at the couple.
“Help,” she yelled. “He’s eating me.” They laughed harder. “New Yorkers!” she said. “As long as your own wrist is reindeer-free you just don’t care, do you?” People started to stop and linger. “Lawsuit!” she yelled. “Lawsuit!” The crowd roared. She cursed. She howled in pain. “Bad reindeer! Bad reindeer!” The crowd quickly multiplied, and their laughter was downright infectious. “I want to go to Hawaii!” Tara wailed. From-the-gut, pee-your-pants laughter rippled from her fans.
“Tara!” Nadine materialized in front of her, hands on hips, eyes flashing. Tara removed her hand, stuck it back in the reindeer again, and screamed. “You should be ashamed of yourself,” Nadine said.
“Elf you!” Tara said. The crowd roared. Tara motioned to Nadine with her index finger. Nadine stepped up so Tara could lean over and whisper in her ear. “They like me,” she said. “They really like me.”
“No,” Darren said. Tara turned to see Darren, who was watching her from behind a Christmas tree decorated with dildos. “They love you,” he said.
The next night, Tara threw herself into her role like she was an actress on Broadway. She drew an even bigger crowd. Afterward, she and Darren lingered long after everyone else had gone home, sat in the middle of the village with glasses of wine, and replayed the comments and reactions of the locals. They laughed until Tara’s stomach was literally aching. Darren kept the lights on for a while, so the two of them could enjoy their glitter. The following evening Darren didn’t drive her home until the sun started to rise. Tara dreamed of her time alone with Darren, relishing the thought more than the excitement of performing her act. With the village all to themselves, and no hookers hanging around Santa, it was almost…Christmas-like.
The first night they kept their hands to themselves. On the second night, during a lull in their laughter, their fingers touched. Soon, they were holding hands. Next, he caressed her cheek, and trailed his finger along the length of her jaw. Finally, his hand reached around and rubbed her back. But when she leaned
in for a proper kiss, he pulled back. But instead of making her want to give up, it drove her crazy, made her want him even more, which given how she’d been feeling since she first spotted him by the side of the road, seemed hardly possible. She appreciated a man with restraint, but time was evaporating.
“You’re going to the Island Pole again?” Nadine said. “But we’re all going on a family trip—Snorkeling with Santa, then off to the Hyatt to hear the Caroling Seniors.”
“I hate to miss that,” Tara said. “But you’re the one who volunteered me. I can’t just quit.”
“I only volunteered you for one night.”
“But I can spend my days and mornings with you guys,” Tara said.
“You’re exhausted in the mornings, and grumpy during the day,” Nadine said. “You never wanted us here at all,” she added.
“Don’t say that,” Tara said. “I’m happy you’re here.”
“You didn’t even invite us,” Nadine said. “You weren’t going to spend Christmas with us at all. You came here to be alone and get laid!” Tara glanced at her parents who were helping Tiara put icing on the Christmas cookies. Guilt flooded her. Especially since it was true. She had wanted to be alone. She didn’t want to go snorkeling with Santa. She didn’t want to make Christmas cookies. She didn’t want to hear Christmas carols sung by senior citizens. She’d had a hard year; she was out a job, and a doorman, and a bartender; she had no men to look forward to except ones who had a fondness for the squirrels in Thompson Square Park, and until she had to go back and face all of that, she just wanted to have fun.
“Ah, give her a break,” Phil said. “Everyone likes to celebrate the holidays a little differently.” Nadine gave him a look that would instantly freeze boiling water.
“Why don’t you go with her then,” Nadine said. “I’m sure the Island Pole would be right up your current alley.” Tara started to protest.
“I’d love to go,” Phil said. He headed out to the car.
“Nadine,” Tara said.
“Go,” Nadine said. “Just go.”
Phil was having way too much fun for Tara’s liking. She could hear his laughter all the way across the yard. Tara leaned over the little fence of her enclosure and tried to spy on him. She accidentally stepped on a tiny lightbulb. All color drained out of her reindeer, and he went slack, mid-roar. Darren popped up immediately. Tara hadn’t even realized he was nearby, but obviously he’d been watching her.
“There are replacement bulbs in my living room closet,” he said. “I’d get them but I want to watch you walk away.”
“Ha ha,” Tara said. “I need a break anyway.” Tara shook her ass at him as she walked away, eliciting a sexy laugh. She took her time in the house, took off her heels, and rubbed her feet. She watched throngs of people wind through the village. They looked a lot more relaxed than the shoppers in the mall, or the families standing in line with their children to see Santa. Maybe Darren had a point; maybe it was healthy to have an outlet like this to release all the Christmas stress. Wasn’t this the time of year when there were the highest number of suicides? This was certainly a better alternative, a little comedy, the Saturday Night Live of Christmas. In the spirit of things she poured herself a glass of eggnog from the pitcher in his fridge and took her time making her way to his closet.
The lights were sitting on the top shelf, clearly visible. But when she tried to pull them out, every item on the shelf came tumbling down. She put the lights aside, and began putting the items back: a folded jacket, a Frisbee, a dog toy, a book, and a Christmas present. It was wrapped in shiny gold paper, and topped with a red bow. It was a medium-sized box. She examined the tag. It had Darren’s name on it. If he didn’t get it out soon, he would forget that he had it. Since he didn’t have a Christmas tree inside, she put the gift under a large potted plant. That would have to do for a tree. He’d probably forgotten he’d put it away in the closet. She smiled to herself. She liked playing Santa.
“God, that was fun,” Phil said. Everyone else had gone home, and Tara wanted her usual evening alone with Darren, but she was stuck. It was obvious from the way Phil was weaving through the yard that he’d had too much eggnog. Tara had only taken one sip, so she would have to be the designated driver.
“I’ll drive him home and drive back,” Darren said. He pulled Tara into his embrace with one arm and held something over her head with the other. Mistletoe. Tara leaned in and kissed him. Darren pulled back and laughed.
“What’s so funny?” Tara said. Darren dangled the candy cane in his hand.
“Fooled you,” he said.
“No, you didn’t,” she said. “I knew all along.” She kissed him again.
“I’m going to run in, get my keys, and get him home,” Darren said. “You and Dog can relax in the living room, watch a little telly.”
“No problem,” Tara said. She and Dog followed Darren into the house. She flopped on a chair, threw her head back, and opened her legs slightly. Darren stared.
“Close your legs,” he said. “Or I’m not going to be able to drive.” She laughed, took her time closing them. This was definitely going to be the night. Darren jingled his keys and headed back out. After a few steps he stopped cold. Something in his demeanor made Tara sit straight up. It was as if all the sexual chemistry in the room had been suddenly sucked out. He was staring at the present under the plant.
“Where did you get that?” he said. It didn’t sound like his voice. It was strained, far away.
“In your closet,” Tara said. “When I came in for the lights.” Darren whirled around and stared at her. She stood up. “I thought you forgot about it,” she said.
“You thought wrong,” he said.
“I’m sorry.” She wanted to defend herself, yell at him, tell him she didn’t do anything wrong. But the look on his face told her it wouldn’t do any good whatsoever. Was it a present from an ex-girlfriend? Wife? She realized she knew very little about the man. That was the problem with flings. You just didn’t know who you were flinging with. It was a horrible idea. Dog whined and sat next to his master. She threw her arms open in frustration. “Should I go?” she said, fully expecting him to say no, to go back to flirting with her.
“I think that would be best,” he said.
Tara and Nadine sat on the patio, each lost in her own misery. “He was laughing when he came home,” Nadine said. “I don’t remember the last time I heard him laugh like that.” Nadine had a nonalcoholic strawberry daiquiri; Tara had a pitcher of eggnog. Nadine bemoaned the fact that she couldn’t partake of any spirits, but made the best of it by putting a candy cane in her drink. She said it was surprisingly good. Maybe that’s all you needed in life sometimes, a “surprising element.” They stopped drinking long enough to watch their parents skip out of the house, hand in hand.
“Good night girls,” their father said. “Don’t wait up.” Her parents giggled like children, and kissed.
“Disgusting,” Nadine said.
“Unfair,” Tara said.
“What’s wrong with Phil?” Nadine cried. “Why does he hate me?” Tara put her hand on her sister’s shoulder.
“He doesn’t hate you,” she said. “He’s just…”
“What?”
“I don’t know,” Tara admitted. “I don’t know what’s wrong with any of them. If Santa existed, I’d want answers, starting with—‘What the hell is wrong with men?’”
“Amen,” Nadine said. She glanced at Tara’s half-empty pitcher. “You’re sure slinging those back,” she said.
“I’m drinking for two,” Tara answered.
“Will you talk to Phil for me?” Nadine said.
“What would I say?”
“I don’t know—be subtle—but—you know, find out if he’s cheating on me, or planning on leaving me.”
“I think you need to have that conversation with him.”
“I can’t. It’s Christmas! If he says he’s leaving me it will ruin Christmas for me forever.”
“I would expect you to lie to me until the holidays are over.”
“I see.”
“Let’s go pop popcorn. I have strings to make.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Is that sarcasm I hear in your voice?”
“No.”
“Because it’s your fault we’re here,” Nadine said.
“Excuse me?”
Nadine stood up and threw her arms out. “Look at this,” she said. “It’s balmy. Beautiful. Warm. No snow in sight. Our parents are necking like teenagers. We aren’t even making our own Christmas dinner and that”—Nadine pointed accusingly—“is a palm tree!”
Tara stood up. “Try it like this,” she said. Tara took on a positive tone. “Look at this! It’s balmy. Beautiful. Warm. No snow in sight.” She stopped. “All right the parents thing is a little bit creepy. But not having to make dinner—it’s a Christmas miracle. And that”—Tara pointed—“is a palm tree!”
“It doesn’t feel like Christmas.”
“You didn’t have to come.”
“And spend Christmas without you?”
“Nadine—did it ever occur to you I didn’t want to celebrate Christmas this year?” Nadine slapped her hands over her ears.
“Don’t say that.”
“Why? Santa will hear me?”
“Don’t make fun.”
“Not everybody loves Christmas.”
“Well, get over it. It’s not just about you.”
“I just wish we could relax—just for one year. This vacation was supposed to be about relaxing. Not about making popcorn strings until our fingers are bleeding.”
“That was one year, and that’s because you weren’t stringing them right.”
“There’s not a right and wrong way to string popcorn!”