Once a Hero...

by Jillian Burns

He heard a sniff and the sound of the phone being muffled with voices in the background. “She can’t come to the phone right now, can I take a message?”

  Was she kidding? “Listen, Amy. Let me talk to her.”

  “I told you she can’t talk, you cretin.”

  He heard the phone shuffle around again, but this time he heard something that sent dread racing through his veins. He’d recognize the sound of a doctor being called over a hospital speaker system anywhere.

  Oh, God. “Amy. Is she…” He closed his eyes and prayed like he hadn’t prayed since he’d had the faith of a child. “Is she going to be okay?”

  “I’m hanging up now.”

  “Please! Amy? Amy! I’ll call every hospital on Maui if I have to.”

  He heard another sniff. “And then what?”

  “And then I can be there for her.”

  “I thought you didn’t want to be there for her.”

  Luke gritted his teeth, stifling all the names he wanted to call himself. “I was wrong, Amy. So wrong.”

  She sighed, a second went by, then another. “West Maui Memorial, in Lahaina.”

  The phone went dead, but he still didn’t know what was wrong. If Kristen was going to be okay, or not. And in the end, he supposed it didn’t matter. He was going.

  Knocking on every door on his floor until he found some wonderful soul to promise to look in on his dog and walk him until he got back, Luke left the woman his key, threw a change of clothes and all his extra cash in a duffel. Once in the Jeep, he programmed the GPS for the hospital and set out for Lahaina.

  KRISTEN HEARD SOMEONE calling her name. It sounded like Luke, but different. This voice full of emotion, and huskier, as if he hadn’t had anything to drink in a long time.

  “Kristen, please, wake up so I can tell you how sorry I am.” She felt him squeeze her hand, and then she felt his warm lips on the back of it. “God, Kristen, please. Please, wake up.”

  She wanted to tell him she would eventually, but she just needed to sleep a bit longer. She tried to open her mouth but when she did, no sound came out. She was dreaming. Luke wouldn’t be here. There was something wrong.

  But it felt so right when he rubbed her arm. And she recognized his scent as he got closer and pressed a kiss to her forehead. She wanted to call him back when she sensed him move away. But he soon took her hand again. And this time he didn’t let go.

  “Kristen.”

  Someone was calling her name again. A woman this time. Had the time before been just a dream? She thought she answered, but the woman called her name again. They wouldn’t stop bugging her. Asking her to open her eyes and tell them her name. Didn’t they know her name already since they were calling her by it?

  If she opened her eyes and spoke it wouldn’t feel as nice as it felt here in this dark, peaceful place.

  “Kristen!”

  “What?” She opened her eyes to glare at the pest who wouldn’t leave her alone. But she immediately closed them again, grimacing and moaning at the agonizing pain in her head. Some little devils were having a good time driving sharp needles into her temples.

  “Kristen?” The woman’s voice was softer this time. Kinder.

  “Yes?” There. See? She answered.

  “I’ve given you some more medicine for the pain. Can you open your eyes a little longer this time?”

  Oh, all right. They weren’t going to leave her in peace until she complied. She grudgingly, gingerly opened her eyes and blinked at the blurry figure. She was a tall, dark-skinned woman, probably mid-fifties, and she was smiling.

  “That’s very good. I’m Doctor Ōpūnui. Now, I have the room darkened, but I need to check your dilation, so I’m going to have to shine a bright light into each eye, but I’ll try to go as quickly as possible. Ready?”

  Kristen tried to nod, but it hurt. The eye check followed, and then some blessed soul held a straw to her lips and the water tasted heavenly to her parched mouth. All she could see for a moment was the light flashing in her eyes.

  But even once her eyes adjusted to the dark again, her vision was still blurry. Wait. Why was she in the hospital again? Hadn’t she finished all her treatments and surgeries?

  She looked around the room and saw a fuzzy, tall, redheaded woman step out of the shadows.

  “Kris?” The woman moved closer. “Do you know who I am?”

  As if someone had switched on a movie projector and played a montage of her life in Hawaii in fast-forward, memories came flooding back. “Amy!” She smiled and Amy smiled back. And then she started crying.

  “Oh, damn.” Amy turned and grabbed a box of tissues.

  “Geez, do I look that bad?”

  Amy gasped as she shifted back to face Kristen. “No! I’m just so glad to see you awake.”

  Hmm, that didn’t sound good. How long had she been asleep? Had she missed the deadline for the Geographic Universe contest? “How long was I out?” Please don’t let the deadline have passed.

  “You’ve been unconscious for thirty-one hours.” The doctor stepped into her line of vision. “Do you remember what happened?”

  She let out a relieved breath. Hours. Not days. Not months. What had happened? “I was…surfing.”

  “Thankfully there was a lifeguard from the resort down there talking to Amy,” a deep voice mumbled somewhere in the shadows behind Amy.

  “Luke?” She tried to lift her head, but it hurt and she winced.

  A tall, dark form stepped out of the shadows. “Kristen.”

  He said her name in that same raspy voice she’d heard in her…dream. “What are you doing here?” She switched her gaze to Amy. “Did you call him?”

  The doctor cleared her throat. “I’ll send a nurse in to check your wound and change your bandages.” She addressed Amy. “I’ll give you five minutes each and then our patient needs to rest.” With a last nod to Kristen, she hustled out the door.

  Amy took her hand and a memory of Luke holding her hand while she slept popped into her head. But that couldn’t be a memory if she’d been asleep. It must’ve been a dream.

  “Luke called your cell a few hours after…the accident. And he insisted on coming and he hasn’t left your side—despite my protests—since.” She glared at Luke, and then softened her expression when she looked back at Kristen. “Oh, Kris. I’m so glad you woke up.” Tears filled Amy’s eyes, but she suddenly looked angry. “Don’t ever scare me like that again!”

  “I won’t. I’m so sorry, Amy.” Kristen’s eyes stung.

  “Better not.” Amy’s glare changed to a smile and she bent down and hugged Kristen gently, then stepped back.

  Luke stepped close to her bed. His face was unreadable, but his eyes were bloodshot and his jaw had several days of stubble. He took her hand, but it was really her wrist. He placed two fingers over her artery and brought his left arm up to look at his wristwatch. He was taking her pulse?

  Although… His touch may have tried to be impersonal, but his hand trembled. Still, she preferred the passionate man from last night. The man calling her name, begging her to wake up. “Am I gonna live, Doc?”

  He let go and folded his arms across his chest. “You were lucky. The CT showed no signs of intracranial hemorrhaging.”

  “In English, please?”

  Unfolding his arms, he nodded toward the heart monitor beside the bed. “A blow to the head like you sustained could’ve resulted in brain damage, coma or…” His lips flattened and he clenched his jaw. His eyes watered. “You could’ve died, Kristen. I—we—I could’ve lost you.” He grabbed her hand, the whole hand, and squeezed it between both of his.

  Great. Now her eyes were watering, too. But there, at last, was the emotion she’d wanted to feel from him. Her head still hurt, as though it was being struck by a miniature pickax. “I needed to feel alive. I’ve told you. I know what my chances are, okay? And I won’t let fear stop me from living every minute to the fullest.” Her stomach roiled and she laid her head back against the pillow.


  “What is it?” Luke let go of her hand and felt her forehead.

  “I wasn’t reckless. I checked the weather report. The storm just blew in early.” She moaned, feeling violently sick.

  “Kristen?” He moved his fingertips to just under her ears, feeling along her jawline.

  She moaned again, rolled to her side and threw up all over him.

  10

  KRISTEN AWOKE WITH A DULL ache behind her right ear. And a hot, heavy weight across her hips.

  She slowly opened her eyes. The faint light of early morning struggled through the hospital blinds. Luke was asleep with his arm across her hips and his head lying on the bed beside her. His stubble was even thicker this morning, and she detected lines around his eyes and mouth even with his face relaxed in sleep. Oh, how she wanted to run her hand over his dark, tousled hair. And kiss those masculine lips.

  But he’d hurt her to the core the other day. And they were just supposed to be having a fun holiday fling.

  Oh, God. She’d puked on him last night. Embarrassment swamped over her again. And he’d been so sweet about it. Making sure the nurse came in to help her before leaving to clean himself up.

  She didn’t remember much after the nurse came in. Kristen’s head had pounded with pain and by the time her bandage was changed she was exhausted and must’ve fallen back to sleep.

  Somehow Luke had managed to find a way to shower and borrow some scrubs, and…he’d spent the night next to her. Again. Amy said he hadn’t left her side. Did that mean he’d changed his mind about her? But, this was just a bump on the head. Not cancer.

  Where was Amy? Kristen glanced over at the empty recliner in the corner. When she looked back at Luke, his deep brown eyes were lazily open and staring at her. This close, she could see the coffee-colored irises had thin bands of gold around the edges.

  “Hi.” That one breathy word was all the vocabulary she could manage with his gaze locked onto hers.

  “Hi,” he answered. Then he blinked and raised his head, scowling. He straightened and ran a hand down his jaw, looking adorably perplexed.

  He got to his feet, ran both hands through his hair and then glanced at her again. “How are you feeling?” He pulled the chair away from the bed.

  She must’ve felt better because the only thing she could think about was how sexy he looked.

  Look away. Think of something else!

  “Better than last night.” She winced. “Sorry about that.”

  “Perfectly normal symptom of a concussion.” He gave her a warm smile that was gone too soon. Turning all doctory, he checked her bandage, her IV, her blood-pressure readouts, her heart rate. He certainly looked like a doctor in those scrubs. All that was missing was a white coat and a stethoscope around his neck.

  And he had a nice bedside manner… Don’t go there.

  “Luke?”

  “Hmm?” He turned his attention back to her. “How is the pain? Should I get them to increase your meds?”

  “Maybe, a little.” She lifted her hand to the bandage behind her right ear.

  His expression changed from professional detachment to furrowed brows and worry. “I’ll go get a nurse.” He came back with a nurse who fiddled with her IV, told her the doctor and her breakfast would be by in a little bit.

  Once the nurse left, Luke glanced at the closed door, then dragged the chair back to the bed and sat, taking her hand in his.

  Kristen sighed, savoring the heat of his hand in her cold one.

  “Look, I’m sorry. For the other day.”

  “It’s—” not all right, her usual answer “—understandable.”

  He grimaced. “I wouldn’t have blamed you if you’d kicked me out of your room last night.”

  “Well, I tried throwing up on you, but you just came back.” She grinned mischievously.

  He huffed a laugh. “Wasn’t the first time that’s happened to me.” His smile faded. “Or the worst thing I’ve been covered in.”

  She assumed he meant blood, and she didn’t want to know if he meant something else. “You mentioned Kabul once. Is that where you’re stationed?”

  He frowned, studying her hand where he’d entwined his fingers with hers. “The National Military Hospital there.”

  “I’ve heard of Kabul from the news. Lots of suicide bombers. One even infiltrated your hospital, didn’t he?”

  He winced and his jaw clenched and then shifted to the left. “Let’s talk about something—”

  “What made you want to become a doctor?”

  His frown intensified. He rubbed the stubble on his chin. “My father.”

  “He was a doctor, too?”

  Luke shook his head, his mouth half curved. “A truck driver.” His grip on her fingers tightened. “He just got up from the dinner table one night and dropped to the floor. While my mom called 9-1-1, I rolled him over and tried to remember the CPR class we took in Boy Scouts when I was younger.”

  “Geez. How old were you?”

  “Twelve.”

  Kristen gasped. “That’s so young.”

  He shrugged. “Old enough to have known CPR. If I had…”

  “I’m sorry.”

  Staring at their joined hands, he nodded. “Last person I told about that was my Army ROTC recruiter.”

  “I’m sure you already know this…” She hesitated, but decided to just say it. “Even if you’d done everything perfectly, it might not have saved him.”

  He drew in a deep breath and let it out again. “I know.” He raised his dark gaze to hers. “I know I don’t deserve it, but I’d like a second chance. After you get out of here, I want to see you until I have to leave. If you’re feeling up to it.”

  Her heart jumped and she almost said yes. But she wasn’t sure it’d be a good idea to spend any more time with him at this point. He’d made his position clear. And her feelings…well, they were more than they should be for a fun holiday fling.

  “You don’t have to answer right now.” He squeezed her hand reassuringly.

  Kristen kept her eyes closed, savoring the feel of his hand and the crisp, clean scent that was pure Luke.

  His hand went to her forehead and he frowned.

  “What?”

  “You feel a little warm.” He got to his feet, scooting the chair back. “I’m going to get a nurse to take your temperature.”

  “Wait.” Kristen was pretty sure her fevered brow wasn’t from an actual fever. “What are you doing here, Luke?”

  He stiffened his stance and his expression turned all detached again. “Your doctor said you needed to be monitored closely over the next twenty-four hours.”

  “So, you’re my own personal monitor? If this is because you feel guilty about the other night…?”

  “Guilt has nothing to do with it.”

  “Then why—”

  “Because I care about you. All right? I couldn’t think straight when I thought you might…” His lips tightened, but his eyes still burned into her.

  “If I had died out there, it wouldn’t have been your fault, Luke.”

  “I know that.”

  She looked away. “I don’t think you do.”

  “Well, you’ll just have to endure my presence until you’re discharged. Amy got called in to work last night right after you fell asleep. I promised to take care of you and bring you home if you were released.”

  “Oh.” Her stomach growled and Luke left to track down her breakfast. At least, that was his excuse.

  Kristen closed her eyes, her mind tumbling from one thought to the next. A part of her couldn’t believe Luke was here, and the way he was acting… So different. More open. Telling her about his father, for instance. Was it guilt, as she suspected? Or maybe it was the hospital setting. He did seem at home here, more confident, not so shy.

  She realized he was in his element here. Helping people. Saving lives. That’s what he’d set out to do after his father died. But it was a mission doomed to fail. He couldn’t save everyone. That’s what he’
d said that day he took the sleeping pills. And that’s what was eating him up inside.

  Somehow, she wished she could make him see that even heroes were human, with human limitations. And he needed to accept and forgive that part of himself.

  The door opened and a nurse rolled in a computer, ready to take her vitals. A volunteer followed her in with a tray of breakfast. There was a knock and when Kristen called, “Come in,” Luke stuck his head around the edge of the door.

  “Doing all right?”

  “Luke.” He’d only left fifteen minutes ago, and yet she missed him as if he’d been gone for days. “I want to go home. I mean, back to the condo.” Why was she on the verge of tears?

  “I’m on it.” His head disappeared.

  And, true to his word, by lunchtime, she’d signed her discharge papers and was being wheeled out to Luke’s Jeep.

  LUKE NOTICED KRISTEN’S eyes closing several times on the forty-five-minute drive home, and by the time he pulled the Jeep into a parking space at the condominium, she was asleep.

  He picked her up and carried her to her condo, surprised at how little she weighed. She was petite, but well toned, her arm and leg muscles defined. She moaned and snuggled into his chest. Even when he set her down to unlock her door, she kept her arms around him and her cheek against him. Tucking her into bed was no hardship either. He got her out of her shorts, but left her shirt and panties on, then pulled the thick coverlet up to her neck.

  Promising to be back in an hour to check on her, he left to get his dog from his neighbor, took the mutt out for a run and then showered himself. There’d been no conversation between him and Kristen since breakfast, which suited him fine. He didn’t know what had possessed him to talk about himself so much this morning.

  He’d been so damned grateful she was alive, he’d have done anything, told her anything she wanted to know. He’d been an ass and he’d been given a second chance to make up for it.

  As he was leaving for Kristen’s, the mutt whined and gave him that accusing look. Luke couldn’t abandon him again. “All right. Come on.”

  He felt as if he wore the same dopey grin his dog did as he rode down the elevator. He was anxious to get back to Kristen. He’d get her something to eat. Check her bandage, her pupil dilation and her blood pressure. And, though it was too soon for sex, he’d like to hold her while she slept. Just to have her in his arms.