Mother’s Only Child

by Anne Bennett

  Patsy might have doubted the man’s words, but not the ardent kiss that he placed upon her lips, full of love and longing that she responded to so eagerly, thankful that she hadn’t lost the love and respect of this man, as she had feared she might.

  It was about eleven o’clock the following morning when Martha opened the door to an agitated Norah Bellingham.

  ‘I only got back yesterday,’ she said. ‘I caught a touch of flu at my sister’s and I had to stay on a few days. Then, this morning I heard the news about Sean and had to come and tell you that I don’t believe a word of it, not one word.’

  ‘Thank you, Mrs Bellingham,’ Martha said. ‘The thing is—’

  ‘I was wondering if I should go to the police,’ Mrs Bellingham asked. ‘The point is that Barney McPhearson was supposed to be attacked the night of the concert, and it was that night he offered to take young Deirdre home. I mean, would it help or hinder if I was to tell them?’

  Martha was about to say it would make no difference, when she stopped herself. The police had said that as far as they were concerned Deirdre had no case to answer and her name could never be mentioned in connection with Barney’s death because she was too young. But still, what Norah Bellingham could tell them could at least point to the first part of Deirdre’s story being accurate and so she advised the woman to go ahead.

  She didn’t tell her anything else. It wouldn’t help either Patsy or Deirdre for people to know what had happened to them and they would keep it within the family. She could barely wait for Sean to return home where he belonged. That would be better than Christmas. She needed his strong arms to enfold her and help her cope with it all.

  Maria was anxious to return home, especially with Sean’s imminent release. She felt that she had encroached on his family’s kindness long enough. She was anxious too to get back to her dressmaking. Money wasn’t a problem in the short term, for Andrew had looked into it and told her she would get thirty-seven shillings a week for thirteen weeks, plus the seven shillings for Sally and twenty-four shillings a week Family Allowance for the others. But after the thirteen weeks her money would be reduced to the same as Barney had got. Despite the fact she no longer had to share this meagre amount with a selfish and uncaring bastard of a man, it still wouldn’t be a fortune.

  ‘It isn’t as if I have anything to fear any more,’ she told Martha.

  ‘I know that,’ Martha said, ‘but you are no way well enough yet, in my opinion. Besides, January is the very devil of a time to move and the house has not being lived in for months, remember. It might even be damp. Certainly your bed will have to be aired. Come on, Maria, be sensible. You don’t want to make yourself worse, and what if the children were to get some sort of relapse? None of you is totally out of the wood yet.’

  ‘I know that. It’s just, with Sean—’

  ‘D’you think he would like to think he was chasing you away?’ Martha said. ‘God, he’d be more likely to go for me for allowing you to back before either you or the house was fit.’

  Maria smiled, for she knew Martha had a point. ‘All right, what do you suggest?’

  ‘Leave it at least another week,’ Martha said. ‘Let me give the place a good clean, air it thoroughly and warm it up a bit. And you build your strength up. The girls will be back at school by then, so you’ll only have Jack and the baby to deal with. It would be better all round.’

  Maria agreed to this, but in the end it was Patsy and Andrew who went down the next day, which was a Saturday, armed with cleaning materials and cloths, saying that Martha had plenty to do already and it would do them no harm to lend a hand.

  They knew straight away that Barney had been living in the house and he’d made a mess of the whole place. The injunction had obviously made little difference to him and had the man still lived, they knew he could have continued to abuse Maria for years.

  Not two hours after Patsy and Andrew had gone, Sean came home in a police car. It soon became apparent that initially Martha would have to help him cope, rather than the other way around. The policeman who had interviewed both Patsy and Deirdre had been to see him. He’d not only told Sean what had happened to them both, but left him a copy of their statements to look over. Maria, Martha and Sean sat on at the dinner table long after the children had left it, Maria feeding the baby.

  Sean said, ‘Those statements made harrowing reading. They would for any father. I felt as if it ate right into the core of my manhood that I had been unable to protect my daughters from this madman.’

  ‘I can see that,’ Martha said. ‘I have a theory as to why the two were attacked. It might have something to do with Barney getting even because he couldn’t beat you in a straight fight.’

  ‘I wouldn’t have just killed him, if I had known the half of it.’ Sean said savagely. ‘I would have torn him apart limb from limb.’

  ‘And might be hanging from a noose this very minute,’ Maria said with asperity. ‘What then would it achieve and how would it help any of us?’

  ‘It’s just that—’

  ‘No, Sean,’ Martha said. ‘Don’t you see that this unbridled violence towards Barney was the very thing that stilled the girls’ tongues.’

  ‘Aye, of course I do,’ Sean said. ‘D’you think I don’t know that? D’you think I don’t torture myself with the thought that if Patsy had been able to confide in me, knowing I would leave it to the police, what happened to Deirdre might not have done?’

  ‘And what then?’ Maria put in ‘You know as well as I that if Barney had been allowed to live, none of us would have been safe.’

  She looked at her uncle with pain-filled eyes, and went on, ‘I love Deirdre as much as I love my own, and not in a million years would I have had this thing happen to her. Christ, no wonder the child could remember nothing. Such a burden could have turned her brain for ever. Thank God that didn’t happened. Yet nothing will be achieved by wishing things had been different. I feel guilt and shame too, but it is something we have to deal with, or Barney will have scored a victory over us all.’

  Sean knew Maria was right.

  She continued, ‘And Deirdre isn’t over this yet. I think it will take time. There is something still bothering her. I mean, she was thrilled you had come home, Sean, so delighted, but even then there was some worry lurking behind her eyes.’

  ‘Come on, Maria,’ Martha said. ‘When you think what she has gone through, is that any wonder?’

  ‘No, of course it isn’t,’ Maria said. ‘But maybe someone should talk to her. I mean, I know you want to keep this to yourselves and I can see why, but Deirdre might need professional help to deal with this.’

  However, no one did anything then, because Patsy and Andrew came in.

  ‘Oh, Dad, I am so pleased to see you,’ Patsy said, hugging him. Andrew then shook his hand warmly.

  ‘Now tell us whatever else it is that you are clearly bursting to tell us,’ Martha said. ‘And I’ll make us all another pot of tea. Oh, isn’t it marvellous to be able to say that and not be wondering if the ration will stretch?’

  Maria knew exactly what Martha meant. Rationing had been a headache for them all. Butter, cheese, cooking fats, margarine and meat were still rationed, but the Government had promised that these too would be off ration by the end of the year. She smiled at Martha and said, ‘I’ll give you a hand.’

  ‘Not yet, Maria,’ Patsy said. ‘You need to hear this. You see, we think Barney has been living in the house. We found a docket for some money from the dole office, so we know it was him. He’d left dirty plates stacked in the kitchen and cups all over the place, together with the nub ends of cigarettes and beer cans and bottles. The bed had definitely been slept in and the grate was a disgrace. In fact the whole place needed a damned good clean and it took us ages.’

  ‘I am very grateful to you,’ Maria said, but her insides quailed at the thought that, despite any in-juction, Barney had seemingly come and gone at will. She didn’t know how he had got in the first time and
didn’t really care. The point was he had. If she had returned she was sure he would have murdered her.

  ‘Oh, that’s not all,’ Patsy said, withdrawing some letters from her bag. ‘These are from Seamus. He is being released on the thirteenth of January and Barney fully expected to be there with him, for we found a train ticket and a ticket for the boat.’

  Maria scanned the letters and, turning concerned eyes on Sean said, ‘What are we to do, Sean? He will be out on Wednesday and he’ll make a beeline for here.’

  ‘He can’t come here,’ Martha said vehemently, catching the gist of the conversation as she came in with the tea.

  ‘And it would really disturb Deirdre, meeting the brother of the man she killed,’ Patsy said. ‘She’s bad enough as it is, and to tell you the truth, I’m not mad keen on seeing him either.’

  ‘Don’t fret,’ Sean said. ‘None of you has to meet him. I will got to Dublin and be waiting for him when he comes out of the gaol.’

  ‘You! You can’t,’ Martha said, not wanting Sean anywhere near the brother of the man who had raped his stepdaughter and had very nearly done the same to Deirdre. ‘You can’t just take off like that. What about your job?’

  ‘I have some holidays owing to me,’ Sean said. Then, because he knew what Martha was really fretting about, he went on, ‘Don’t worry, I’ll not lay a hand on him. From what I have seen of the man, I haven’t taken a liking to him, but whatever we think of Barney, Seamus will have been affected in some way by his death. Whether the man has changed, or whether he hasn’t, I will not hold him responsible for the actions of his brother. This is done only to make life easier for the rest of you.’

  Martha didn’t want to tell Deirdre where her father was bound for, but Patsy insisted. ‘There isn’t any lie you could tell her that she could believe, and that would worry her more,’ she said. ‘Let’s have no more secrecy. I know Deirdre is only young, but after what happened to her…‘

  ‘She’ll be upset.’

  ‘I’d expect her to be, but we will be here to reassure her and hold her when she cries. God, sometimes I think she hasn’t done enough of that. She is coiled up inside like a spring.’

  And Deirdre was upset. After Sean left, she lay on her bed sobbing. Patsy crept upstairs to comfort her a little later. Deirdre had stopped crying, but still lay full stretch, her head buried in her folded arms.

  Patsy spoke to her back. ‘Dad had to do this, you know,’ she said. ‘If he hadn’t, then Barney’s brother would have probably come here. That would be worse, wouldn’t it?’ There was no response and so she said again louder, ‘Well, wouldn’t it?’

  ‘I suppose,’ Deirdre said.

  ‘Don’t you see that this is almost the end?’ Patsy said. ‘Dad has to see Barney’s brother to discuss how he wants the funeral organised. He’s next of kin, but he hasn’t been able to do anything before because he was in prison.’

  ‘Huh. He’s not a very good man either then.’

  ‘I suppose not,’ Patsy conceded. ‘He was a thief, and while that is bad enough there is no suggestion that he would be up to doing the things Barney did. We can’t hold him responsible. I mean, what if I did something wrong and people said you were just as bad because you were my sister? That wouldn’t be very fair.’

  ‘No, it wouldn’t,’ Deirdre said, raising her head a little as Patsy sat beside her on the bed.

  ‘It’ll all be over soon and Barney will be buried six foot under, and he will never be able to harm any of us again. Tell you what, me and you will dance a jig on his grave. I’m sure you can teach me the steps.’

  There was a tremulous smile on Deirdre’s face as she said, ‘I don’t think I would have a hope of teaching you. Dad says you have two left feet.’ And then she sat up and put her arms around her sister. ‘Thanks, Patsy,’ she said, and now it was Patsy’s eyes that were damp.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  Maria was back in her own house by the time the letter came from Sean a few days later. She went to Martha’s to discuss it after delivering the girls at school.

  ‘I got a letter from Sean this morning,’ Martha said as she put the kettle on. ‘Did you?’

  Maria laid the snuffling baby against her shoulder and nodded. ‘Seamus wants his brother buried in Ireland.’

  ‘Who’s Seamus?’ Jack piped up, and Maria raised her eyes to the ceiling. ‘Little pitchers have big ears,’ she said.

  ‘I know what that means,’ Jack cried. ‘Paul told me. It means—’

  ‘Jack,’ Martha said quickly, ‘would you like to play with Paul’s train set?’

  Jack knew it would be laid out on a board in the boys’ room, and he had never been allowed to play with it on his own before.

  ‘By myself?’

  ‘Well, you are getting a big boy now,’ Martha said. ‘I’m sure you won’t damage it.’

  Jack considered. He knew he was being got rid of, but then a train set was still a train set. ‘OK,’ he said. ‘Can I have a biscuit and a drink, to take up?’

  ‘Jack, that is rude,’ Maria said sharply. ‘You mustn’t ask for things.’

  ‘Well, Auntie Martha won’t know unless I tell her.’

  Before Maria could reply to this, Martha came from the kitchen with a mug and a couple of biscuits on the plate, trying in vain to hide her smile. ‘Here,’ she said handing it to him.

  ‘Thanks, Auntie Martha. Can I go now?’

  ‘Yes, go, for heaven’s sake,’ Maria said.

  Not until they heard his feet scampering up the stairs did Martha say, ‘Won’t that cost a lot of money?’

  ‘Well, I suppose, but Seamus will bear the cost of it,’ Maria said. ‘Sean said he seems to have unlimited funds. Illegally earned, no doubt.’

  ‘Does that matter any more?’ Martha said. ‘At least then the man will be out of all our lives for good. There will not be even be a grave to remind us of how evil he was. And if his guard of honour at his funeral is made up of thieves, vagabonds and various other scoundrels, isn’t that a fitting finish for him in the end?’

  ‘Ah, yes, it is indeed,’ Maria said.

  Sean stayed on to attend the Requiem Mass Seamus had arranged, which was five days after he had arrived in Dublin. As the drinks flowed, Seamus, who had undoubtedly been shocked and upset by his brother’s death, started asking questions about the police finding out who had killed his brother.

  ‘There was no love lost between you two,’ he had snarled at Sean.

  ‘No, and I’ll not pretend there was,’ Sean said. ‘The police thought the same at one time and I was in for questioning, until they found out it wasn’t me.’

  ‘Then who was it?’ Seamus demanded. He grasped the lapels of Sean’s suit jacket and was almost spitting into his face as he went on, ‘I want them found and punished.’

  Sean pushed him away. ‘Well, you will not find them by trying to intimidate me. You don’t know the manner of man your brother had become. If I were you, I would let sleeping dogs lie.’

  ‘What are you on about?’

  Sean sighed. ‘Barney was heavily into gambling and he owed money left, right and centre. But there were other things about him—things so bad that, had he not been killed, he would likely have spent years behind bars. There is nothing now to be gained by raking all this up again.’

  ‘So what you are saying is, there were any number of people who’d have wanted Barney dead?’

  ‘That’s what I’m saying.’

  ‘And if I was to go on about getting justice for my brother, things might come to light that were better left covered.’

  ‘That’s it exactly.’

  ‘Did he accept that?’ Maria asked, when her uncle recounted this on his return.

  ‘He did.’ Sean said. ‘He seemed to know what I was intimating. Maybe he wouldn’t have left it there, but shortly after that conversation, he was too drunk to say anything much. Most of the people there were the same, and I could see that very soon there would be trouble. Some of them were
fairly spoiling for a fight, so I left and made for Dun Laoghaire where I hung about until the boat was ready to sail.’

  ‘I am really grateful to you,’ Maria said.

  ‘I am the only one who could have gone,’ Sean said. ‘There is no way I wanted you to get involved. Now you can put all this behind you and look forward.’

  Maria was now able to do just that. The sewing machine was back in place. The pawn ticket had been found in the pocket of one of Barney’s jackets that Maria was packing up to get rid of. Her uncle insisted on redeeming it for her, and now business was thriving once more.

  Her life was now free from menace or fear, and she looked forward to a rosy future where she would see her children grow and blossom. Only Deirdre seemed unable to shake off her despondency, and that in turn affected Sally.

  Nothing had been told to Sally about Deirdre’s ordeal, only that Deirdre had been upset by what had happened to Patsy. But Sally thought her daft to carry on the way she was over it, because Patsy was all right now. Even before they returned home Sally had thought Deirdre a little strange, but after they began school again, Deirdre’s strangeness had got worse, especially when her dad went to Ireland for some funeral. Even when he came back she was little improved.

  ‘She ain’t no fun any more,’ Sally complained to Maria. ‘Even in the playground and that. She never wants to play anything. She just moons about by herself. She don’t want no one, not even me.’

  Maria knew that would be hard for her daughter, for she and Deirdre had always been as thick as thieves. ‘So who do you play with now?’

  ‘I didn’t have any one at first and then this new girl started and she d’ain’t know anyone. Miss asked me if I could keep an eye on her, like, and show her what to do and that.’

  ‘Is she nice?’

  ‘Yeah, dead nice,’ Sally said. ‘She comes from Aston. Deirdre would like her too if she would just let herself.’

  ‘Aston is where Martha came from originally.’

  ‘I know, Uncle Sean told me. I said that to Deirdre and she just looked at me as if I was talking double Dutch or summat. Anyway, it’s a real shame for this girl, Shirley, ‘cos her mom died three years ago.’