by Cary Hart
He shakes his head. “It’s not about me.”
“But…” I reach for him again. “Please, Kyle. Just let me…”
He brings my hand to his lips and kisses it, before squeezing my palm against his and placing our joined hands above our heads. He leans in close and takes my lips once more in a whisper of a kiss.
“We have plenty of time. This was about you.”
“I want you to feel pleasure, too.”
“Nina, that gave me more than you can imagine.”
He sits back on his heels and I sit up as well, bringing my knees to my chest, feeling exposed.
As if sensing my doubt, he pulls me to him. “We don’t have to rush it. This was incredible. You were incredible.”
I nod, unable to say any words, fearing my voice may tremble.
“But I may need another shower.” He kisses me before climbing off the mattress. His confession makes me smile.
Lying back down, I pull the sheet over me. The tears that threaten to fall aren’t because I feel rejected. Just the opposite, they’re because I felt wanted. Feel wanted. And knowing what it’s like to release my body to someone who wanted nothing but me. To bring me pleasure. It’s a feeling I want more of.
Kyle is healing me. One touch at a time.
Kyle
“This sandwich is amazing.” Nina tries to cover her mouth, but it’s no use. She’s pretty damn hungry.
“I can tell.”
“I mean it’s really good….” The sauce drips down her hand. “What kind of spread is this?” She runs her tongue along the edge and I can’t help but groan.
“What?”
“If you keep eating the sandwich like that?” I grab her wrist and bring it to my lips to lick the sauce that drips down. “I won’t be able to contain myself.” I lick my lips.
“It’s just…the best.” She shovels it in, wadding up the wax paper to throw into our makeshift trashcan. “You know what? I could get used to this,” she says, falling back on the bed.
Setting my sandwich down on my box, I brush the crumbs off the blanket and lay down, facing her.
“You look tired.” I reach over, brushing a few strands of hair off her face.
“I am,” she confesses. “Had a little bit of a workout, so to speak.” She brings the sheet up over her mouth to hide her smile.
“Don’t.” I pull it back down, leaning in for a little kiss. “Everything about you is beautiful. Please don’t hide it.”
“I just feel like this is twice that I—”
“This is twice that I felt like I should give you something that you needed.” I reach over to pull her in close.
“What about you?” She tucks her head in the crook of my neck. Her hand traces words on my chest. What? I’m not sure.
“When you are ready, I have no doubt that it will be something explosive.” I bend down to kiss the top of her head. “You will be worth the wait.”
“I hope I don’t disappoint you.” She looks up at me through her lashes. Not wanting to miss the moment, I lean back to gaze into those emerald jewels.
“There is no way. Right now? I could do this forever,” I say as her fingers continue to write. “I’m trying to make out what you’re spelling.”
H.
O? No…A.
“I didn’t even realize I was doing it, but yeah. I guess I am.”
P.
P.
Y.
“Happy.”
“Yeah. It’s been forever since I felt that way and you…bring that out in me.” She falls on her back with the biggest grin.
“Here let me.” I lift up her tank, displaying a perfect canvas.
“No way, Kyle. There is no freakin’ way I can handle all that again.”
“No.” I can’t help but laugh at her reaction. “My turn to write something.”
S.
P.
E.
C.
I.
A.
L.
“Can you spell it out again?” She closes her eyes, taking it all in.
“Any guesses?” I draw it out one more time, just to feel her skin under my fingertips.
“Oh sorry…I got lost in your magical touch. Special. It just felt too good to answer.”
“My turn.”
“Give me your hand,” she says. “Palm up.”
Doing as she requests, I wait for the word, but this time she draws a heart and closes it back up.
“You have mine.”
I bring my hand to my chest. “Then I will cherish it.”
We lie quietly for a few minutes until I break the silence.
“Meet my parents,” I blurt out.
“Say what?” She has a frantic look on her face, making me think everything I thought we were working for may not be what it seems.
“You don’t have to. I just have this birthday party I have to go to next weekend and I don’t want to go alone.”
“Oh! So, it’s not like an official meet the parents kind of thing.” She rolls over to face me now. Her eyebrows are scrunched up and she’s worrying her bottom lip.
“If it is, would it be so bad?”
Please say no.
“Actually, No. I would love to,” she says, but her face is still etched with worry.
“They are totally fine. Plus, my stepbrother and his family will be there. It’s my niece’s second birthday.”
“It’s not them. I mean it is, but…Kyle, I haven’t ever ‘met the parents’ before.” She scoots in closer. “What if they don’t like me? What would that mean? Kyle, you can’t date someone your parents hate.”
“I happen to adore you and I know for a fact that my mom just wants me to be happy. To experience a fraction of what she has not just with my dad, but with her second husband.”
“What should I wear? Can you help me figure out something to bring? Do you even bring something to a birthday party? What about a present? Do I help you or get my own gift? I don’t know what to do.”
I can’t help it. She’s so freaking adorable when she’s nervous. I try not to laugh, but holding it in is just making my body tremble.
She smacks my chest. “It’s not funny.”
“They will love you.”
“I hope so.” She rolls me onto my back.
“Don’t even think about it. I’m all showered out,” I warn.
“No showers necessary.” She winks as she sits up, pulls her tank over her head and lays back down. My dick instantly hardens.
“I think you underestimated yourself.”
She lays half on me, an arm thrown over my chest, her leg intertwined with mine. “I just wanted to feel you.”
“Shit. You saying stuff like that makes you even harder to resist.”
“Will you please stay? Sleep with me, just like this?” she leans down, kissing my chest. Just one soft little peck.
“Always.”
There is nowhere else I would rather be.
Nina
I never wanted to need someone. I thought I could do this all own my own, come here and start over. But sometimes even the strongest person needs someone to hold them up and Kyle, he lifts me up.
“Hey beautiful. You ready to go eat some carnival food and ride some rides until we get sick and come home?”
“Can we leave out the getting sick part?”
“Sure. Then we better skip that one spinning ride. It gets me every damn time.” He walks around the room, picking things up before we leave.
“You don’t have to do that.” I reach in my purse, digging out whatever makeup I can find. “I can do that as soon as I’m done putting this on.” I hold up my lip gloss and mascara.
“I made it. I clean it.” He winks. “You can thank my momma on Sunday for raising me like a gentleman.”
“Thank you.” I head to the bathroom to apply a little color.
“Do you think we should take Niki’s car back for the weekend?” I hear Kyle down the hall.
“Yeah. Th
at’s a great idea. I’ll text her.”
Me: I’m bringing your car back for the weekend.
Niki: You don’t need it?
Me: I’m with Kyle.
Niki: Did he stay the night?
Me: You going to be home?
I avoid the question. After the other day, I thought she was beginning to warm up to the idea, but maybe not.
Niki: What are you going to do for a car all weekend?
“Are you spending the night tonight?”
“Yep.”
Me: Kyle’s spending the night.
I wait for her reaction, but nothing. Not even the dots that show someone’s typing. Just nothing.
Me: Niki, he really is a great guy.
Still nothing.
Me: We haven’t had sex.
Niki: Don’t. Not until you are ready. You got it?
Niki isn’t even being Niki, that court thing has her so worked up.
Me: <3
Niki: I <3 U2
“What time are we leaving?” I ask.
“Whenever you are ready,” he smiles back.
Me: Be there in 30.
Niki: K
Tossing the phone in my bag, I grab the car keys. “I’m going straight there. You following?”
“Sure am.” He opens the front door and we both head out.
“Hey Kyle?”
“Yeah?”
“We. Are. Going. To. A. Carnival!” I skip down the sidewalk to the car. “Shake-ups and cotton candy and tenderloins, oh my!” I continue down the path.
“You’re nuts.” He shines me his dimples, following me to the car. “I love that this makes you so happy.”
“You make me happy!” I start to open the door when I’m swung around, body pressed against the car.
“You make me happy, too!” He cups my face in his hands, breathing me in as his kiss promises more…tonight. Breaking the kiss, he says, “Now, we better get going.”
“We could just stay in.”
“Get in.” He reaches down to swat me on the butt as he walks off.
“I was trying…”
“Be safe!” He waves his keys in the air.
“Always!” I shout back.
After dropping the car off at Niki’s, Kyle got a call that someone had trespassed on one of his WilliamSon projects. Since Drew is on baby watch, Kyle volunteered to be on call for any emergencies.
“This will only take a minute.” He reaches behind the seat and grabs his hat and glasses. “I just need to make sure nothing has been touched.”
“Can I come?”
“Sure.” He reaches behind the seat again, but comes up empty-handed. “Dammit. I forgot Lee borrowed my other hat.” He grabs a camera out of the console. “Next time I’ll show you around.”
“Don’t be too long.”
“I won’t.” He shuts the door and heads toward the house.
Not knowing what to do, I flip through the radio stations, trying to find something to distract me, when his phone begins to vibrate in the center console.
I know I shouldn’t pick it up, but when I see a gorgeous blonde pop up, I can’t help but wonder who she is. If I swipe now, it will answer. If I swipe later, I’ll be invading his privacy.
I don’t want to let the war of the hearts consume me, with my past sneaking up on my present, tainting everything that is good.
Kyle’s good.
Setting the phone down, I opt to lay my seat back and relax and try to get out of my own head.
Kyle’s good.
I breath slowly, remembering everything that has happened since I met him. Kyle has always been honest.
Kyle’s good.
He’s respected my past. Never pressured me.
Kyle’s good.
His phone beeps with a text.
Kyle’s good.
I’m not going to look. I’m going to let it be.
The door swings open. “Sorry it took so long.” He hops in, throwing his hat in the back and glasses in the console.
“It’s okay. Was anything bothered?”
“Not that I can tell, but I went ahead and called the station to have a car drive by randomly.” He reaches for his phone.
“That’s good news.”
“What now?” He scans through his phone. He looks at me and holds up the phone. “My ex. She wants to talk.”
“Oh?”
Kyle’s good.
“It can wait. Today is our day.”
Kyle is good and he is mine!
Kyle
Of all days, she had to call today. I would like to say she doesn’t affect me, but for some reason there is still this pull there and I’m not sure why.
Do I want her back? No. Do I wish things would have been different? Yes.
Does it get easier the more time I spend with Nina? Hell yeah. With Nina, everything is easy. I never have to second-guess my feelings. She brings out a raw emotion in me that I didn’t even know existed.
She frees me from everything.
“I have to say, I’m really stuffed this time. If I eat another bite, I will explode.” I hand her the bag of cotton candy.
She holds up her hand, which is coated in the crystal candy. “I need to wash these.”
“Or…” I grab her wrist “I can do this.” I lick every single finger clean.
“That’s a great alternative.”
“I thought so.” I hold out my hand. “Hand hug?”
“Always.”
We stroll through the carnival, playing games here and there, never winning a damn thing.
“So, tell me, what was your favorite thing about today?” Tilting my head, I watch for her reaction.
“Tonight.” She waggles her eyebrows.
“Out of all the games, rides, food, fun, you are going with tonight? Something that hasn’t even taken place?”
“I’m hopeful.” She leans into me, putting an arm around me and holding on tight.
“Who says anything is going to happen?”
“You did.” She looks up at me through her lashes, batting them. “I’m ready.”
I pretend to look around. “Where’s the nearest exit?” I pull us around in a circle.
“Kyle…” She’s in hysterics laughing at my antics.
Finding a fence, I lean her up against it, pinning her arms above her head.
“Kyle…” Her laughing slows as her breathing speeds up.
“Tonight will be great,” I agree, leaning in slow, teasing her with the promise of what is to come.
“Kyle?” A female voice behind me causes me to turn.
Shit!
“I thought that was you.” She comes closer as Nina steps out from behind me, reaching for my hand.
“Who’s this?” She waves her hand at Nina. “I’m Tristan, the ex.” She steps forward, holding out her right hand.
Nina keeps hold of my hand, but steps forward. “I’m Nina, the girlfriend.”
“Oh really? That was fast.” Tristan can’t help herself, throwing in a little dig that I know she hopes Nina will pick up on.
“Hey babe?” My stepbrother comes around the corner, pushing a stroller. “I couldn’t find the—” He stops in his tracks, looking at the scene unfolding.
“Kyle.” He nods at me.
“Jack.”
“I heard you are coming to Trinity’s party and bringing a guest.” He pushes the stroller closer. “Is this the plus one?”
“Yes.”
“Well? Aren’t you going to introduce us?” He pushes the stroller closer still.
Nina squeezes my hand multiple times and I’m pretty sure it’s some kind of an SOS code that I’m unable to read.
“Okay, I guess not.” He holds out his hand. “I’m Jack, his stepbrother.”
Nina gasps, looking between all of us.
I can’t move, but I can hold on for dear life.
“That’s Nina, his girlfriend,” Tristian interrupts.
“That’s great.”
�
��Ky-ky!” Trinity sticks out her hands and as much as I don’t want to be around her, I do. She is the reason I hate the two people standing in front of me.
Forgiveness is hard, but losing a family is harder. Those two took her away from me and there is nothing I can do. She’s not mine.
Squeezing my hand, Nina steps forward. “This must be the birthday girl.” She reaches in and tickles Trinity’s side, causing the cutest giggle to escape her lips.
Pulling Nina back, I hold her in front of me. “We better get going.” I wave at Trinity. “See you soon.”
“Bye-bye.” She waves her tiny hands.
“See you Friday,” Jack says, one hand on the stroller and one on his wife.
Walking straight past them, I don’t even look back.
The family I once had is no longer mine. I just wonder how many times I’ll have to tell myself this before I believe it.
Nina
What just happened?
Better question, how can I protect my heart? Kyle filled it with so much hope I was soaring on cloud nine, but now I feel as if there’s a leak and it’s slowly deflating.
We started off with such an amazing day, the possibilities were endless. I was ready. I wanted to move our relationship to the next level, give myself to someone who would truly appreciate it.
Kyle told me he was damaged. But this? This is crazier than the “Who’s on first?” comedic bit. Except there is nothing funny about it.
His ex is his sister-in-law, married to his stepbrother, and how does Trinity play into this? Is she Jack’s or Kyle’s?
“This isn’t how I wanted to tell you,” Kyle says flatly, eyes on the road.
Please, look at me.
“I know.” I lean my head against the window.
“I just wanted us to have time.”
Me too.
“I know.” I begin to pick at my fingernails.
“I was going to tell you before the party.”
I need a hug.
As if he read my mind, he lays his arm across the console, palm up.
Turning in my seat, I reach out and take his hand in mine.
Squeeze.
Raising our hands to my lips, I feather light kisses across his.
“This is just us.” He gives me a sideways glance. “Only us.”
“I know.”
“No, you don’t. This right here.” He brings our hands to his chest. “It’s ours.”
Hand hugs.