Play Me

by Ivy Knight

  "I get it you can't feel your body. That's the point, but you've been passed out for forty-eight hours. I've been too generous." He doesn't seem patient, so I decide keeping my mouth shut is the best thing to do right now. "You got out of that maze in seventeen minutes. Seventeen. You know what Alec's best time was the first time he did it? Two hours. It took him two hours and his fastest is twenty-seven minutes. How can a girl, that claims she has no training, outrun three attack dogs and professionally trained gang members, Summer? How could you jump over us like it was no big deal?"

  His face is inches away from mine. The proximity doesn't scare me, but I still can't manage to get a word out of my mouth. His usual scent doesn't reach my nostrils making me feel disappointed. The smell of his cologne is the only thing I like about him.

  Getting back on track, I hesitate lying to him and I don't know why. Maybe my mind is still processing what happened the other night or the ice has given my whole body frostbite and I'll be dead within hours, I really don't know.

  "You out ran us on orange juice. A glass of orange juice was the only thing you had before the maze. I don't know who you are, but now, I won't be so easy on you."

  He pulls out a knife I've worked with before.

  "Name it."

  "A-A knife," I answer.

  "What's the name of this knife?"

  "I-I do-on't know," I stutter pathetically. I hit Kai's last nerve as he takes the knife and slices it through the skin of my arm. "Ah-ugh!"

  He pulls my head back by his grip on my hair and looks me dead in the eyes.

  "Name it."

  "C-Columbia River twent-ty ten N C-Crawford Kasper Dragon Combat Knife f-four-point f-five-inch Bead Blast Blade, Z-Zytel Handles." I close my eyes and recite the name of the knife off of my heart. I can recite the names of over five hundred knives because I was never good with any other weapon. Just knives.

  He throws the knife on the ground and pulls out another one.

  "A-A t-tactical boot k-knife." I name the knife in his hand knowing that's what he wants me to do. Every second that passed by in silence, makes me even more drowsy.

  I'm weak. Too weak for my own good.

  "It's been five days, Summer. I've had enough of you. I want to see you cry and it's happening tonight," Kai turns around and leaves. Not even thinking about what he meant, my mind drifts off into a deep sleep.

  ...♛...

  I woke up feeling half dead in a room. My whole body feels like it needs to be amputated, but as time passes by and I lay still on the concrete floor, the blood flow heats my body.

  Even after I regain movement, I sit with my back against the wall facing the door. This room is different than all the rooms I've been in so far. It has light and a large one way glass window right above me in the wall I'm leaning against. The temperature is low, but warm enough to help my body heal.

  The cut on my right arm is still open but clotted with dry blood. From the looks of it, it seems like I'll need at least six stitches to close it up.

  Hours pass by with me sitting and waiting. No sound rings in my ears and no human being crosses my sight.

  I'm completely alone.

  I don't want to think about what Kai had planned next. Brains, are mysterious. If you know how to use them right, they can become your strength. Use them wrong, and they'll become your worst enemy.

  Distracting myself from thinking too much, I hum the tune to one of my favourite songs; Oh Wonder - Lose it (Jerry Fox remix).

  My father told me that this was the song playing the first time he ever saw my mom at one of the annual gang balls. One of the things my mom told my dad to tell me, was if a guy can't dance with you on this song and create a smile on your face, he isn't the guy for you.

  They fell in love that night allowing two of the strongest gangs to ally with each other and eventually give birth to four children before my mom passed away.

  They fell in love at a gang ball. Each year, the ball is always held by a different gang and usually happens during the end, or the start of the year. Gangs from all the states get together and this is one time of the year when even your enemies, have to be your friends.

  During the start, everyone's having fun, dancing and eating. By the end, the men are discussing drugs, money and allies while women try to deceive other women out of valuable information.

  I've only ever been to one when I was eight years old. I think it was fun, but what I mostly remember, is being glued to Anthony – my second oldest brother. The night was a blur to me and after that one time, I wasn't allowed to go to another gang ball. They never told me why, and I never questioned my dad's orders; though, if the new me ever meets my family again, a lot of conflicting questions will arise.

  "Humming to distract yourself?" Brody asks. He supports grey sweats and a black shirt. His dark brown hair disheveled, tells me it's probably close to night.

  "Anthony probably told you about that one."

  I stay quiet assessing his every move. He walks towards me and squats down to my level. He sets the tray of food on the ground.

  "Listen to me," he starts. I don't reply. The only thing I can think is: did he actually betray me? "I'm trying to help you. I couldn't let you be alone here, so I joined their gang as their new drug dealer. I'm putting my ass on the line for you again, and you have to believe me."

  "Trust is a mistake made once, not twice. If you were planning this, you should've told me before," I reply.

  "What they're about to do is – barbaric," he takes a pause to think of just the right word. "As well as I know you, you won't be able to hold on, but I want you to know. If I could have stopped it, I would have. I'm sorry."

  His gaze hides away from mine.

  "Stop playing riddles and tell me what it is."

  "I can't," he gets up and turns around. "Eat what you can."

  I look down at the plate of pasta.

  "You know I can't eat it."

  "You will," he replies exiting the room. My hands balled into tight fists. His words are alarming. Brody never sugarcoats the truth so if he says I won't be able to hold on, then I won't be able to hold on.

  Fuck.

  ...♛...

  Half an hour has passed since Brody came in. The pasta still untouched, it lies on the plate. My brain swirling with a million questions, there's no distraction to stop them. I just can't. It feels like I'm going to snap within seconds. At times like these, I'm desperate to have a cigarette between my lips or a bottle of alcohol in my hands.

  Just as I'm about to close my eyes to think, a girl’s crying comes into sound. They're quiet, like sobbing out of pain and fear. I look around the room. Finding myself alone, I look up, behind me at the one-way glass. The light is on, on the other side.

  I help myself up and when I'm standing tall, holding the glass for support, my mouth gapes. On the other side, is Alice in all her misery.

  She sits on an old, blood stained mattress. Her once perfect hair is now tangled in several knots making my heart drop. The blue and purple bruises tracing up her legs and arms makes my blood boil. Her legs cover the view of her face and I'm a little thankful. Seeing her face, would kill me.

  She was supposed to be dead. How long has she been here?

  "Alice!" I pound the side of my fist against the glass.

  "Alice! Alice, please look at me! I'm sorry! Alice!" I yell, but she doesn't even lift her head.

  "It's soundproof," another voice speaks. I turn around and I'm alone. I look up at the ceiling catching the speaker.

  "Let her go, Kai."

  "I'm in charge here and you get to watch what happens next. After tonight, you'll wish your step sister had died in the fire or had never even entered your life," he says.

  Before I can reply, Alice speaks.

  "C-Cole?"

  I turn around and spot her face covered in dirt and her eyes swollen red. Her cheeks stained with tears, she stands on her feeble legs, facing Cole.

  Cole on the other hand, has covered
his emotions up under a hard expression. His jaw clenched and hands balled into fists, I've never seen him like this before. He stands tall, with a straight back and broad shoulders trying to intimidate Alice.

  When Alice notices what I have, she starts backing into the wall. This gives Cole an opportunity to corner her. Alice's whole body trembles uncontrollably.

  "C-Cole s-stop," Cole grabs her wrists and pins them to the wall. "Cole!"

  "Shut up!" he yells. Alice flinches and doesn't stop struggling under his grip. "Your sister did this to you. Summer, did this to you, Alice. You lost everything because of her. You should've let her go."

  "No! She didn't do this to me! You did this to me! Kai and Alec did this to me!" she screams in his face. On impulse, he takes her hands off of the wall and slams them back. She bites down on her lips holding herself back from screaming. Blood is now visible, trickling down the wall behind her arms.

  "She joined the gang and she knows you're alive. She wanted us to do this to you because she thinks it's your fault she's with us," Cole lies without hesitation.

  "N-no," Alice whispers to herself. "Sh-she wouldn't. She helped me."

  Without another word, Cole forcefully locks his lips with Alice's. Her arms try to loosen Cole's grip, but there's no use. After what feels like an eternity, when their lips part, Cole let's Alice's hands go. Breathing heavily, she uses whatever's left of her strength to push Cole away.

  "What the fuck Cole?!" she hisses. Disgusted by the kiss, she wipes her lips as if poison is on them.

  Inpatient, Cole walks closer to Alice and pushes her down on the mattress getting on top of her.

  "June eighth, twenty eleven. Alice was playing on the playground, around six in the evening, when a van stops and snatches her away. The next morning, she's found in a ditch on the side of the highway, naked," Kai's voice comes through the speaker ringing in my ears along with Alice's screaming. "She was raped and to help her, her parents wanted to adopt another girl. That's when you came in, two years later. You helped her get over her trauma. May I just say, you did a good job, but it wasn't good enough."

  Tears rush down my cheeks. My whole brain numbs. With a brain of its own, my fist lifts up and pounds against the glass.

  "COLE STOP! PLEASE COLE! LET HER GO!"

  When Cole rips Alice's shirt, I know he's not going to turn back. I turn around and yell, hoping Kai can hear me.

  "KAI, TELL HIM TO STOP! I'LL DO ANYTHING! JUST STOP IT!"

  The tears, the screaming and the agony, it's... it's endless. I can hear her begging desperately, but I'm helpless.

  We both are.

  All of this reminds me of when I was a kid. When I heard all our victims beg for mercy, but my family didn't even hesitate before pulling the trigger. For some reason, I hope Kai does.

  "KAI, PLEASE STOP IT!" I yell at the top of my lungs as I fall onto the ground. My ears have had enough. I try to block out the screaming by covering my ears. For a while, it doesn't work, but then everything stops. Dead silence. I open my eyes and spot my tears on the ground.

  When I don't hear anything, I take a deep sigh hoping it was all a dream. My breathing hitches in my throat when three gunshots go off.

  "No. No no no no no no no no no no..." I repeat trying to convince myself that I didn't hear anything.

  "No. No. It can't," I pull at my hair hoping that it might help me think. Nothing comes to mind. My heavy heart starts to get too much for me.

  All emotions gathered; I need a way out.

  I broke the number one rule; never get emotionally attached to anyone: not your family, not your friends and especially, not your enemy.

  I thought I was out. I needed to be out, that's why I accepted Alice as my sister. I accepted her responsibility and now I have to accept the consequence of that. I wipe my tears away and look at the plate of pasta. Believe it or not, it's my way out.

  I lean over it and grab the fork. Taking a spoonful, I put it in my mouth and swallow it whole. The fork drops out of my hand. Not even a second later, my whole body's in shock. Breathing becomes hard, my eyes create more liquid, and now, I know I'm done for.

  I lay down on the ground taking slow breaths. I faintly hear the door open and a few feet come into vision. Weak, my body caves into the allergic reaction and I'm consumed by darkness.

  Thanks Brody.

  Chapter 13: Part One

  I'm home. The place where I was born, and the place where I get to die. It's vacant, but through the front door, comes a bright light. I know I have to walk through so that I can give this life up.

  The physical pain is gone and with a few more steps, the emotional pain will go away too. Without a second thought, I start walking towards the light.

  "Summer," my brother, Dean's voice stops me. Him showing up in my head, isn't surprising. He's the youngest out of my three older brothers, and we've always understood each other more than anyone else has.

  Hearing his voice, after almost three years, is calming. It sends a feeling of tranquility that I haven't felt in a long time.

  "Dean?" I turn around. He stands there handsome as ever with his dress shirt and jeans. His muscles seem to have grown a size or two, and his frame has modified into a man's. He's a nineteen-year-old adult.

  Thinking about that, makes me want to cry.

  What if he's different? What if he doesn't like joking around, playing tag or teaching me how to have fun in life? That even we have the right to be happy. What if he isn't who he was?

  "What's wrong?" he questions. His brown eyes sympathetically trace my body.

  "Nothing," I reply.

  "Mmm. What were you about to do?" he asks in a protective, brotherly way.

  "Leave my pain behind." I say looking at the ground. For some reason, I can't build up the strength to look him in the eyes.

  "I thought we raised you to know that pain is a given with this family," he words. I can sense his disappointment.

  "You did."

  "Look me in the eyes when you speak, Summer," he instructs, and I instantly raise my head meeting his gaze.

  "If we raised you like that, then why are you about to kill yourself because of pain?"

  "I– I can't handle it," tears brim my eyes.

  "You can, and you will. If you walk through that door, Kai wins – Nick, wins. Summer. Me, Dad, Vincent, Anthony; we raised you to be a fighter. The White Dragons don't give up."

  "But you did, you stopped looking for me."

  "You made us believe you're dead. We still believe you're dead. Life moves on, Summer. Just like you did."

  "Then let me do what I want to do!" I yell back.

  "But that doesn't mean, we make stupid mistakes. Be smart, like you've been for the past two years. If Kai wants to use your emotional connection to people against you, turn it into your strength. Emotions are a mistake, you know that, but a guy like Kai, who has never felt any other emotion besides rage, doesn't. Teach him how we work," he's right. I can't give up so easily. I'm strong enough to fight back. I can survive if I choose to stay.

  "So, are going to give up?" Dean asks, cocking his right eyebrow.

  "No," I answer.

  ...♛...

  Steady beeping and slow breathing. A rhythmic pattern my brain recognizes the second it comes in conscious.

  My body sore, the excruciating pain tells me that I haven't been introduced to any painkillers. Every time I breathe, the movement of my lungs hurts. The oxygen mask helps me breathe and without it, I think I would just die for real this time.

  I don't remember much from before, but faint images run through my mind. Cole tried raping Alice, and when I heard the gunshots, I broke. I ate the pasta on the plate knowing that my allergy would activate. My body wouldn't be able to break down the wheat and due to my severe sensitivity to wheat, it would cause inflammation in my throat stopping the flow of air to my lungs.

  I should've been done for. I was dead, how am I even alive? Slowly, I open my eyes. I'm in a room painted all white. W
ith a slight turn of my neck, the machines I'm hooked up to, come in sight. This room is quite similar to a hospital room, but I can tell this isn't a real hospital.

  I turn my head back, facing the boxed ceiling. Scenes from before come into memory causing tears to well up and drip down from the corners of my eyes.

  I don't wanna live. I killed myself. At least, I tried to. Before my thoughts can deepen, the door creaks open. I wipe away the tears keeping my eyes glued to the ceiling.

  In my vision, appears a woman probably around her early thirties. She wears normal clothes, but by the number of wrinkles on her forehead, it's obvious she's a doctor. Only people that have spent, who knows how many years studying in university, have wrinkles in their early thirties.

  "You're awake, how are you feeling?" she has a sweet voice. My lips part to say something, but she cuts me off, "Never mind, don't say anything. You won't be able to talk for a couple of days actually. The inflammation is still healing. That's why you're still on oxygen support and you're in severe pain because Kai's strict orders were to keep you off of any pain meds."

  "Fu-," I try to say something, but the weird edge to my own voice freaks me out. I clear my throat hoping it helps, "Fuck him and his orders."

  Nope it did not help. My voice sounds so weird, that the doctor has to hold her laughter back. I roll my eyes and sit up on the bed. Painful, is the understatement of the year, but the dizziness that follows is just a cherry on top.

  "Summer, you need to rest."

  When my head stops spinning, I look up at her and take off the oxygen mask.

  "What I need, is to kill Cole with my bare hands."

  I try to pull my foot over the edge of the bed, but when I can't pull it away, I remove the bed sheets off of myself and spot the cuff linking my foot to the bed. I clench my jaw, "Take it off."

  "I can't, I don't have the key," the doctor replies.

  "Don't act so innocent in front of me. You're just as guilty as them, so you stay away from me as long as I'm here. I don't want your meds, your machines or your damn ass knowledge. I want you to leave because I clearly can't," I say, taking in a long breath at the end.