This close, she noted the crow’s feet at his eyes.
“I knew his mother needed a job. I knew Sloan needed a cook.”
He spoke so matter-of-factly, but the enormity of what he’d done wasn’t lost on her. His compassion touched her. She remembered how loyal Caleb’s men had been to him. “How many other families have you helped?”
His fingers tightened on her elbow. For a moment, she thought he wouldn’t answer. “A dozen.”
She remembered what Alex had said about Caleb’s trip to Virginia. “That’s why you went to Virginia last month.”
He guided her toward a large oak tree next to the cemetery’s fence. He shoved out a sigh. “I made a small fortune during the years I worked for your father. Unlike him, I saved what I’d earned, so after the accident, I had plenty of money to see me through.”
She didn’t speak. He was a man who could bargain or negotiate better than anyone, but speaking of emotions had always been hard for him.
“I’ve spent the last of my savings last month, settling the debts of my first mate’s mother.”
Again, she compared Henry to Caleb and again Henry fell short. Henry had moments of generosity, but he gave when it was easy to give. He never inconvenienced himself for anyone, not even her.
In that moment, she knew no matter what happened here today, she’d not marry Henry. Yes, he offered safety and security but both seemed paltry in comparison to Caleb’s honor and kindness.
“That was very kind and generous of you,” she said.
Caleb traced the freshly painted finial on the iron gate. “Some would say I was easing my guilt with money. Money in exchange for a clear conscience.” He nodded. “And I will admit, I want the guilt to go away. But no amount of money I spend will ever turn back the clock or bring those men back to their families.”
She laid her hand on his arm. Tension radiated from every sinew. “Your men understood the risks, Caleb.”
“I should have died with them.” His voice was dark, savage.
“No!” The thought of him dead was unbearable and it took a moment for her emotions to steady.
He stared down at her as if touched by the force of her emotion.
The weight of the past bore down on them both and for a long time they were silent. The wind rustled through the leaves of the trees and she stared past him into the cemetery. Atop one gravestone sat a winged angel.
Alanna wasn’t sure if she touched Caleb first or if he reached for her first. But when their fingertips brushed, fire shot through her veins. Her fingers interlocked with his. “Lord, but it feels right to touch you. I know I shouldn’t but I can’t seem to stop.”
He sucked in a ragged breath. “Then don’t.”
She moved a step closer. Her chest brushed his. Her nipples hardened.
He bent his head, ready to kiss her. As wrong as she was for wanting the forbidden, she wanted him to kiss her and take her in his arms.
Rising up on tiptoe, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. Curling her fingers through his dark hair, she savored the feel of him. She’d forgotten just how right it felt to be in his arms.
Nothing would make her deny this moment.
“Alanna!”
Henry.
Alanna turned and discovered Henry striding toward her. His expression was murderous.
Chapter Sixteen
Immediately, Alanna stepped back from Caleb. She felt the blood drain from her face. “Henry!”
Henry’s blond hair billowed in the breeze as he moved through the throng of people toward her. Despite the heat, he wore a black wool suit, fresh collar and cuffs and black polished boots that reflected the sun. His hands were manicured, and he wore a gold signet ring on his left pinky. Meticulously dressed as always.
Alanna could feel Caleb tense but he said nothing. He stood rigidly behind her, his fingers fisted.
“How did you find me?” she asked.
Henry stopped in front of them. His gaze shifted to Caleb and his lips flattened into a thin line. “You left a trail anyone could have followed.” Manicured fingers tugged at the edge of his vest. “Alanna, do you have any idea what it felt like to find you’d simply left Richmond alone?”
The reproach in his voice had her raising her chin. “I’m sorry if I worried you. That was not my intent, honestly.”
“You never mean to cause trouble, do you?” Henry said, his voice biting.
Caleb stood directly behind Alanna. “Strathmore, watch the tone.”
Henry kept his gaze on Alanna. “What are you doing with him?” He spoke as if Caleb wasn’t there. “Hasn’t he done enough damage to your life?”
Alanna refused to take the bait. She returned to her original question. “How did you find me, Henry?”
“I went to your attorney. When I told him you hadn’t been seen in a week, he was only too happy to tell me where you’d gone.”
“You shouldn’t have been so hard on Mr. Piper. He had been a good friend to me.”
“Friends don’t allow ladies to travel unescorted.”
Only three years older than she, Henry acted as if he were twenty years her senior. Had he always been so staid?
Caleb took hold of Alanna’s arm, the move purely masculine. He was sending Henry a clear message. Mine. “Henry, you and I need to talk.”
Henry reached in his vest pocket and pulled out a shiny gold watch. He clicked it open, checked the time then replaced it in his pocket. “Pitt, you are a waste of my time.”
The muscle in Caleb’s jaw jumped. “Make the time.”
Danger laced Caleb’s voice. Henry clearly heard it. He took a step back and his face paled. “Alanna and I have to leave now if we’re to catch the morning steamer from Coinjock Bay to Norfolk.”
Alanna felt the tension radiating from Caleb. “Let me talk to Henry.”
Caleb’s jaw tightened. “I’m not leaving you alone with him.”
“It’ll be all right. I owe him an explanation. I won’t hide from conflict this time.”
Caleb stood silent for a moment staring at her. Finally, he nodded. “I’ll be at the inn.” He glared at Henry, and then strode away.
Alanna watched him go. Only when he’d disappeared out of sight into the crowd did she look at Henry. “I should have discussed my trip with you but I was afraid you’d try and stop me.”
Henry let out the breath he’d been holding. Some of his ire returned. “Of course I would have stopped you. If word of this little jaunt were to get out you’d be the laughingstock of town. No decent person would accept you again.” He shook his head. “Pitt is a pariah in polite circles.”
A bitter taste settled in her mouth. “Ah, the same circles that turned their backs on me after Father died?”
Henry tugged his vest down. “Alanna, you’re not thinking clearly.”
“Maybe I am.” Her friends had all but deserted her when news of her father’s suicide became known. Abruptly, she wondered why she’d been in such a hurry to return to that life.
Henry lowered his voice. “Do you know the lengths I had to go to to cover this up? Thanks to me everyone now believes you are still at your aunt’s in Washington.”
The muscles in her stomach coiled tight. “You didn’t have to do that, Henry.”
Henry’s face softened and he laid his hands on her shoulders. “Of course I did. I love you, Alanna. I don’t want you to be hurt by vicious gossip.” He glanced down at her simple dress. “Where on earth did you find that dress? If any one of our friends was to see you now, they’d be appalled. Dear God, you look like a half-drowned cat.”
“It was a castoff. My clothes were lost when I was crossing the sound to the barrier island.”
Henry hissed in a breath. “You went to the lighthouse?”
Disgust dripped from his words. “Yes.”
He pulled in several deep breaths then forced a smile. “Why did you do such a foolish thing?”
“Remember the box Father left Caleb? I came to deliver i
t.”
“Lord Almighty, Alanna. Any reasonable woman would have used a messenger or better yet tossed the damn box in the trash.”
“I couldn’t do that,” she said softly.
Henry shook his head, as if staring at a small child. “You could have drowned.”
“I nearly did drown. Caleb saved me.”
The import of her words seemed to pass over his head. “Well, the thing that is important now is that you are safe.”
“Yes.”
“And you’re in luck. I’ve a friend who has a house in Waverly. They are away and I’m sure we can stop long enough to get you cleaned up and into decent clothes. No one will be the wiser.” He took her by the hand. “The stage I hired is waiting.”
Alanna’s stomach clenched. She dreaded what needed to be said. “I’m not going, Henry.”
He shook his head as if he hadn’t heard correctly. “What do you mean you’re not going?”
“I want to stay here.”
He patted her hand. “You haven’t thought this through.”
A wave of calm warmed her limbs. It felt so good to know what she wanted. It was so obvious now; she wondered why she’d not seen it before. “I have.”
“A week ago, I asked you to marry me. I was certain your doubts would pass and you’d say yes. And now you want to live in this godforsaken place. What’s come over you?”
“I don’t know, exactly. I just know that it feels right.”
“It feels right.” His laugh was bitter. “That’s rich, Alanna.”
Tipping her chin up she kept her voice even. “It’s not funny, Henry.”
“Are you ever going to grow up?”
She straightened her shoulders. “I think that I finally have.”
“If I did everything I felt like doing, I certainly wouldn’t be here now.”
“I didn’t ask you to come.”
“Alanna, since I was in short pants, my parents talked about nothing but us marrying. And we would have been now if not for Caleb Pitt.”
“I fell in love with him.”
The import of those simply spoken words rocked her to her very core. She was in love with Caleb.
Only with great effort was she able to refocus on Henry. “I’m sorry, what did you say?”
Annoyed, he cleared his throat. “Don’t you remember how terrible those days were for you after the accident. You weren’t yourself for months. And then your father’s death.”
Those days seemed like a distant bad dream. For the first time in years, she felt free of them. “The only mistake I made was that I didn’t stand by him.”
“He’s a washed-up sea captain, Alanna. He’s lost his nerve. He’ll never pilot his own ship again.”
She almost laughed. “Caleb is the bravest man I know.”
“Brave? The man ran from Richmond with his tail stuck between his legs.”
She stepped back. “I’ve heard enough, Henry.”
“Alanna, you need to get away from this place. You need perspective.”
“I finally have it, Henry.”
Henry leaned toward her. His soft features had hardened in a way she’d never seen before. “Obadiah was right to burn Caleb’s letter. He was right to keep you two apart until you could get control of yourself.”
Stunned, she could only stare at him for a moment. “You knew about Caleb’s letters?”
“I read them.”
Tears of outrage burned her eyes. “You had no right.”
“You weren’t yourself in those days. Someone had to look out for you.” Her anger exploded. “How dare you!”
“Alanna, I did it for your own good. I needed to know what I was up against. I feared you’d go chasing after him if you read his mush. The man has some kind of hold on you.”
All these years, and she didn’t know Henry at all.
Henry swept his hand toward the village. “Case in point. We are here now because you couldn’t send some foolish box by courier.”
Alanna wondered now how she could ever have cared for him. “I’m staying.”
“So we’re back to that again? Look, I’m running out of patience.”
“That’s your affair. But I’m staying.” She’d had enough and stared to walk away from him.
He grabbed her arm. His fingers bit into her flesh. “If you don’t leave with me now, we are done. I won’t clean up any more of your messes.”
She jerked her arm away. “So be it.”
“He doesn’t love you,” Henry shouted. “Once he’s had you, he’ll toss you aside like yesterday’s garbage.”
Alanna’s hands were still shaking with fury when she walked into the inn. Despite her anger, she was aware of the stares and the gazes searing her. Yet, she felt no shame. She was going to the man she loved and that was all that mattered.
The inn’s furniture was old and well worn, but the floors were swept clean and on the front desk there was a white enamel vase filled with fresh wildflowers. She walked up to the front desk where Sloan sat hunched over a ledger.
Sloan didn’t look up from his register when he spoke. “That dandy ain’t staying in my inn.”
Alanna couldn’t help but smile. “He’s got his own coach. I’m sure he’ll be gone within the hour.”
Sloan peered over his glasses. “Way I hear it, that hired stage had a broken wheel. He’s stuck here until morning.”
“Henry won’t like that.” She bit her lip so she wouldn’t smile.
“Good.”
Sloan reached for a pen. He dipped the tip into a glass ink well. A drop of ink dropped from the nib before he started to scratch letters into the ledger.
Alanna looked around the lobby. There was no sign of Caleb. She felt awkward. A lady didn’t ask an innkeeper the whereabouts of a single man. Nervous, she tapped her finger on the desk.
Sloan didn’t look up. “You need something?”
He wasn’t making this easy. “Mr. Sloan, where can I find Caleb?”
“Upstairs.”
“May I ask what room?” She glanced up the stairs.
Sloan set down his pen. “Caleb’s a good man.”
Alanna stopped, her smile fading. “I know.”
“Don’t hurt him.”
His candor shocked her. “I’ve no intention of hurting him.”
“The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” Before she could speak he held up his hand, silencing her. “He ain’t told me a lot about what happened in Richmond, but I’ve pieced together enough. He might not ever say it but he loves you.”
She stood her ground, her head held high. “We both made mistakes in the past. We’ve learned from them.”
“Have you? This is a hard life here on the ocean. If you ain’t up to it, walk away now.”
“I don’t want to walk away.”
He snorted. “He’ll get over you if you leave now. But if you start making promises and give that man hope, then you’ll destroy him if you leave him again.”
Alanna loved Caleb. And she’d rather die than hurt him as she had before. She prayed for the strength to make Caleb a good wife. “I won’t.”
He studied her a long moment. “Room one-twenty-one.”
“Thank you.”
She climbed the stairs. Lanterns hung from the dingy walls of the narrow, dark hallway carpeted with a fading red carpet. There were six doors on the right, five on the left and each was marked with faded black letters.
Excitement and trepidation surged through her limbs as she moved from door to door. The last door on the right was Caleb’s.
Standing as still as a statue, she stared at the faded letters. Her heart hammered in her chest. She understood when she passed through this door, there’d be no turning back. She’d leave Richmond behind forever.
She wished she could say she wasn’t afraid, but she was. Life with Caleb would be filled with adventure and passion, but it would not be an easy life. She prayed she had the courage to be what he needed.
Alanna reac
hed for the door handle, turned it slowly and went into the room.
When she opened it, she found Caleb standing by the window staring across the calm sound waters toward the lighthouse. He’d taken off his dark blue jacket and now wore just a thick cotton shirt tucked into black pants cinched at the waist by a thick black belt. His boots were scuffed. His hands were clasped behind his back.
Tension gripped his broad shoulders. “Is he gone?”
As she stared at him, she realized she’d never loved him more. Her fears vanished.
He continued to stare out the window. “He can give you back everything you had and more.”
She closed the door. “He can’t give me what I really want.”
“What do you want?” he said roughly.
She came up behind him and wrapped her arms around his chest. “You.”
Caleb stiffened, turned and pulled away from her. “Alanna, think carefully about what you’re giving up.”
His sudden reserve puzzled her. “I have.”
He stabbed long fingers through his thick hair. “I don’t think you’ve thought it through.”
“You’ve spent the last two days trying to convince me to stay. Why the hesitation now?”
“Henry. Looking at him made me realize how different your old life will be from your new one. Hell, his suit cost more than some men make here in a year. There’ll be no more silks. No fancy parties. No private coaches. Life out here is hard.”
She realized then she’d not been the only one who was afraid. “I don’t want any more fancy parties. I’ve no desire ever to return to my old life again.”
A cynical smile curved his lips. “You say that now, but time changes many things.”
“It won’t change my mind. I am certain.”
He brushed a curl from her soft face. “The town looked so tired and worn compared to him.”
“Easton possesses its own kind of beauty. It’s approachable, real. I feel at home here. Good or bad, I know where I stand with the people here. I could never say the same about my old friends. And Henry’s perfect appearance reminds me of a beautiful porcelain figurine. Cold and unapproachable.”
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