“In time when the weather and hardships start to wear on you, you could grow to resent this place.”
“I know it’s not going to be easy.”
His voice mirrored the pain in his heart. “You don’t know how hard it can be.”
She kept her voice steady. She’d appeal to his logic. “I know I’ve a history of acting impulsively. But this is no impulse. For the first time in a long time, it feels as if I’ve come home.”
His jaw tightened. “My mother grew to hate this place.”
“I’m not like her.”
“She was an outsider like you. She was used to finer things. My father wanted her to be happy, but his duties took him away a lot. In the end, she resented the hell out of him. I don’t want that to happen to us.” He drew in a deep breath. “I’d rather you leave now than see that happen.”
She moved over to the bed and sat down, staking her claim. “I’m not leaving, Caleb.”
Caleb shook his head. “If you stay the night, I won’t be able to let you go.”
She crossed her legs, brazenly showing a bit of ankle. “I’m counting on that.”
Caleb stared at her a long moment and then something inside of him seemed to snap. In two strides he closed the distance between them. He hauled her to her feet. “You are stubborn as a mule. Impulsive. Willful. You drive me insane.”
She wrapped her arms loosely around his neck. “I know. Isn’t it wonderful?”
He cupped Alanna’s face with his large hands and kissed her fully on the lips. He tasted of salt and a hint of whiskey.
The tension melted from her body and she eased toward him, pressing her hands against his chest. A soft moan rumbled in her chest.
His hands dropped to her shoulders and he pulled her closer to him. He deepened the kiss.
His warmth ran the length of her body. Her insides turned to jelly. “Caleb.”
He broke the kiss long enough to swoop her up in his arms. She fit in his arms as if she were meant to be here. Desire simmered inside her.
He carried her to the bed and laid her in the center. The fading afternoon light trickled through the window, deepening the lines at the corner of his eyes. The mattress sagged when he sat on the edge. He trailed his hand up and down her arm. He rubbed his hand over the smooth skin of her face. “You are the most beautiful woman.”
She reached up and traced the scar on his face. “And you are the most handsome man.”
He leaned forward and pushed her back into the mattress. The weight of him felt good against her body. She felt alive.
“This is your last chance,” he said. “A minute or two more and I won’t let you go.”
A seductive smile curved her lips. “Shut up and kiss me.”
Chapter Seventeen
Caleb cupped Alanna’s face in his hands. He stared into her eyes and savored the soft skin of her face. He’d dreamed about this moment so many times in the last two years. There’d been nights when he’d thought he’d go insane wanting her and here she was—with him now.
He kissed her on the lips, drinking in the taste of her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her breasts into his chest. A soft moan rumbled in the back of her throat.
His erection throbbed and he wanted nothing more than to drive into her. But he was determined to go slow. He wanted this moment to last. He wanted to enjoy every inch of her body.
He wove his fingers through her hair. It still felt like spun silk, but it did not have the perfumed scent of roses as it had two years ago. It smelled like a fresh breeze, sunshine.
Straddling her, Caleb trailed kisses down Alanna’s face to her neck. He unhooked the top button on her bodice and kissed the soft skin at the hollow of her neck. She hissed in a breath and stared up at him with eyes full of wanting.
Nothing could make him want Alanna more.
He liked the play of passion on her face—desire, longing, heat—so he kept his gaze on her eyes as he unfastened the second and then the third button. She moistened her lips and wriggled under him. He thought he’d explode.
Caleb lowered his gaze and to his delight discovered she wore no chemise. “Alanna, no undergarments.”
She blushed prettily. “It’s indecent, I know. But there were none in the chest.”
Chuckling, he kissed the bare skin above her breasts. “Ah, I like it better that you don’t have anything on.”
Her gaze darkened. “It is rather wicked of me, isn’t it?”
“Aye, wicked.”
Her throaty seductive laugh had his hands trembling as he unfastened three more buttons. Pushing back the soft fabric, he stared down at her naked breasts. He’d never seen a more erotic sight.
Banding her narrow waist with his hands, Caleb lowered his face to a nipple and suckled until it grew hard.
Alanna arched. “You are driving me mad.”
He smiled. “Good.”
He trailed kisses down the center of her breasts and across her flat tummy to her navel.
She threaded her fingers through his hair. “Caleb, what are you doing to me?”
“Wait and see.” He grabbed the hem of her skirt and pulled it up to her waist. No pantaloons! He had died and gone to heaven. He kissed lower.
Alanna knew the meaning of madness! The blood raced through her veins as if she were on fire. Caleb was kissing her in ways that didn’t seem decent yet she couldn’t bring herself to protest. She’d never felt more alive or wanted him more.
She didn’t know how long he kept her teetering between madness and sanity, but when he rose up to pull off his shirt she heard herself whimper.
Pride had kept her going these last two years, but in the face of such longing, it vanished. She wanted him and was on the verge of begging for release.
He slid off his pants. Lantern light flickered on his muscled legs and flat belly. His body looked as if it were forged from marble—a Greek god in the form of a flesh-and-blood man.
Her gaze lowered to his arousal. She blushed.
Yes, they’d been together before, but when they’d made love it had always been completely dark. She’d felt him inside of her but she’d never seen him.
Caleb gave her no time to think or worry. He slid her dress off her shoulders. She lifted her backside as he pulled the garment over her hips. He tossed the dress on the floor next to his pants and sweater.
He lifted her leg and then kissed the curve of her calf still covered with a black stocking. He reached for her foot, and then unfastened the buttons on her ankle-high shoe. He jerked each button open with maddening slowness before he pulled off the shoe and tossed it on the floor.
She smoothed her hands down her flat belly and raised her other foot to him. Again, he unfastened each button slowly. One. Two. Three. Finally he pulled the shoe off and tossed it aside. His hands trailed up her calf and he slid the stocking off.
She was completely naked now. She felt wanton. Alive.
He covered her naked body with his. He stroked her hair. Kissed the hollow of her neck and then began to move lower to the soft peak of her breast. Rational thought vanished and instinct took over.
She opened her legs. His hard flesh pressed against her.
He groaned. “I want us to take our time.”
Need collided with impulse. “You’ve taken enough time. I want you in me now.”
The muscles in his neck tightened as if he wrestled to rein in his desire. “We’ve all night.”
“Now,” she urged.
What hold he had on his control seemed to snap. His eyes darkened with passion. He positioned himself at her entrance and then pushed into her, his gaze never leaving her face.
He moved slowly inside of her first until her tightness grew accustomed to him. The fires he’d stoked before flamed hotter.
And then in the next instant, she was engulfed in a wave of pleasure so strong and powerful that she lost all control. She arched and fisted handfuls of the sheets under her. She called out his name.
; He drove into her, like a man possessed. His cries mingled with her own and for an instant their hearts beat as one.
He collapsed against her. She could feel his hot breath against her neck as his racing heart thrummed against her chest.
Finally, Caleb rolled on his back. Alanna wiggled her body close to his and laid her cheek on his chest. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and held her close.
Never had life felt more right.
Never had she been so happy.
A clock chimed twice.
Caleb was gone.
These were the first rational thoughts Alanna had when she awoke. The room was awash in darkness except for the firelight flickering from the hearth.
The sheets felt cool against her skin when she sat up. She pushed the thick curtain of hair from her face and searched the room for Caleb. Had it been a dream? Had they really made love last night?
So many nights she’d had a dream just like last night. Only those mornings, when her mind cleared she realized she was alone.
“Caleb!” She detested the panic in her voice.
“Aye, I’m here.” His deep voice came from a darkened corner. He stepped from the shadows near the window and moved toward the bed.
He wore only his pants. His black hair was tousled. He was smiling.
She sat up, unmindful that the sheet dropped away from her shoulders. Reaching out to him, she savored the touch of his bare skin. “I thought I’d been dreaming.”
He took her hand in his and kissed her palm. “No dream.”
She slid her hand up to his shoulder. “I’ve spent so long apart from you that I’m having trouble believing it’s real.”
He kissed her forehead. “It’s real.”
She closed her eyes and nuzzled her cheek against his. “I will never get tired of touching you.”
“Good.” His voice was deeper and possessed a seductive quality.
“What were you doing at the window? You must be exhausted.”
He traced her nose with her fingertip. “Not so tired anymore.”
Outside, the distant beacon of the lighthouse flashed. “Are you worried about the lighthouse?”
He shook his head. “No. My assistant is an able man. I’ve not slept the night through in so many years, I doubt I know how anymore.”
His tone was light, but she sensed he was worried. The old connection they’d once shared had returned and felt stronger than before. “You are worried about something.”
He kissed her. “What makes you say that?”
“The way your forehead creases. The way you purse your lips.”
He laughed. “You think you know me so well?”
“Yes,” she said. She refused to let him deflect the question. “Now tell me what is wrong.”
He shook his head. “No worries.”
Whatever doubts plagued him, he wasn’t ready to talk about them. She’d endured a lifetime of fears in the last two years and she wanted to talk about them and banish all traces of them, but she knew he wasn’t ready.
She would respect his privacy.
But that didn’t mean she didn’t want to make love to him. What she couldn’t say to him in words, she could express with her body.
Normally she could be very direct and speak her mind. But in these matters of the bedroom, she still felt a bit shy.
Alanna had promised herself she’d not act so impulsively anymore. But this time she felt that if she didn’t plunge in, she’d lose her nerve.
Without a second thought, she took his hand and guided him to the bed. “It’s my turn this time.”
“What do you have in mind?” His voice was as rough as sand and barnacles.
She rolled on top of him and straddled his narrow hips. Her long hair trailed over her breast like a curtain. Trailing a finger down his naked belly, she reached for his belt buckle.
He pushed her hair behind her shoulder, his gaze locked on her. He brushed the underside of her breast with his knuckle. Her nipple hardened before she brushed his hand away. “Sit back and relax.”
Cupping her naked buttocks with his hand, he laughed. “Lady, I couldn’t relax now if you paid me.”
She unhooked his belt buckle and unfastened the first button. “Good.”
Caleb sucked in a breath when she slid her fingers below his pants line. “Alanna,” he groaned.
Savoring her womanly power over him, she unfastened three more buttons. “The first time we were together, I wanted to do this. But everything was so new to me I didn’t dare try.” She took hold of him. Kissed him. Enjoyed the sharp hiss of breath through his clenched teeth. “I will never lack courage again.”
Caleb didn’t speak. He threaded his fingers through her hair and endured the sweet torture. Finally, he reached breaking point. He took hold of her shoulders, pulled her up and then turned her over on her back.
She opened her legs to him and he drove into her with the force of a man possessed. Sensations swept them both up and washed over them. In the end, they collapsed against each other—their bodies soaked in sweat and satiated.
Just before dawn, Caleb awoke again. He rolled on his side, propped his head up on his hand and stared down at her.
If it were possible, time had made her more beautiful.
He studied the bridge of her nose. The sun yesterday had deepened her freckles and tinged her white skin with a bit of pink. Soon the color would darken to a rich brown. The color would fade in the winter. A lightkeeper’s wife rarely had time for parasols. Bonnets offered some protection but in time the sun took its toll on delicate skin. In five or ten years, the sun’s rays would etch tiny lines by her eyes and mouth.
He pictured her in his mind’s eye and knew that no matter what, he would love her. She was his heart; his soul.
But would she be happy with the changes such a hard life brought?
Alanna’s eyes fluttered open. She smiled up at him. “What are you thinking about?”
He captured a silken curl in his hands. “The future.”
She smiled. “The future. That sounds so nice, doesn’t it? For so long I didn’t think past putting one foot in front of the other. The end of each day was as far as I could see.”
“Aye.” He understood exactly what she was saying.
A cloud of sadness had her frowning before she visibly shook it off. “But I’m not thinking about those days anymore. We are talking about tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that.” She ran her hand along his leg. “You know what I see in our future? Lots of children.”
Alanna mothering his children—the idea appealed to him. “How many?”
“Five or six. And I see boys just like you running up and down the beach with Toby.”
Caleb chuckled. “Toby does like children. I’ve seen the children in the village hang on him and smother him with hugs and he patiently takes it all.”
“And maybe there will be a daughter or two.”
He cocked an eyebrow. “Eight children. That’s a tall order.”
Her hand slid below the sheet. “I’ve no doubt you can handle it.”
He rolled on top of her. “You know at the rate we are going, you’re going to kill me.” Already he was hard and pressing against her entrance.
She lifted her hips to him. “Can you think of a better way to go?”
He slid into her. “Not a one.”
An hour later, the room was awash in bright sunshine. Alanna could hear the patrons of the inn stirring. The outside world was waiting for them and like it or not, this fantasy night with Caleb was coming to an end.
She rose up and swung her legs over the side of the bed. Her foot landed on her dress, still heaped on top of Caleb’s shirt. Lifting the dress, she shook out the wrinkles.
Caleb stirred. “What are you doing?”
“This dress is a mess and in desperate need of pressing.”
He hooked his arm around her waist and pulled her back. “You don’t need clothes.”
Laughing s
he wrestled free. “I will if I hope to catch the coach.”
“Coach.” Tension radiated from his voice.
She realized then that he, too, wasn’t immune to the fear. “I need to see the Randalls before they go. I owe them both the truth.”
Relaxing, he nodded.
“Don’t worry, nothing can lure me back to Richmond permanently. This is my home now, but there is a practical side to all this. I have clothes and some furniture that I must fetch.”
He took her in his arms and held on to her as if he were afraid she’d slip away. “There’s no need for you to return to Richmond at all. We’ll send for your possessions or I’ll buy you what you need.”
On cue her stomach rumbled. Pressing her hand to her belly she laughed. “You’re going to have to feed me sooner or later.”
He laughed and sat up. “Aye, I could use a bit of food myself.”
Alanna started to rise. “I’ll go and fetch us something to eat.”
“Don’t move,” Caleb ordered, pressing her back against the pillows. “I’ll go downstairs and have Sloan fix us a hearty breakfast.”
“I’ll come with you.”
“Stay. I like the idea of coming back to my room and finding you in bed.”
Smiling, she watched him dress. He saluted her before he left and promised to return soon.
Lord, but she loved that man.
Her love burned just as hot as it had two years ago, but this time it was different. Two years ago, her love had been untested and fragile, born more out of a fantasy than reality.
The love she felt for him today was stronger. It had endured a trial by fire and risen from the ashes more powerful than before.
Nothing would ever tear them apart again.
Chapter Eighteen
For the first time in years Caleb looked forward to tomorrow with hope. A half smile curved his lips as he strode downstairs into the inn. The place was quiet. Sloan was nowhere to be found.
He moved to the bar and drummed his fingers against the polished wood. Alanna was in his bed waiting for him. And he was in a rush to return to her.
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