Forbidden Mind (Forbidden #1)

by Kimberly Kinrade

  "I'm sorry I cut you out. What you said… it really shook me up. I'm here with my friends and… well, you made sense the other night. I don't want to believe you, but I can't pretend what you said couldn't be true."

  'It's okay. There's actually a term for it: Stockholm Syndrome. It's when someone develops positive feelings for the person keeping them captive. Because they haven't physically hurt you, and they give you nice things and have raised you since you were young, it's natural to feel defensive about them.'

  "I have a syndrome? Not sure I like that."

  'Don't worry about it. It's nothing to be ashamed about. I learned about it in one of my foster homes.'

  "You were in foster homes? I'm sorry. What happened?"

  "My parents died when I was young. A car crash. I survived, probably because of my strength. I got lost in the system, bouncing from one house to the next. Spent most of my life in California. I was living in Venice on my own, teaching surfing lessons to survive, when I was captured.'

  A part of me still wanted to believe that Rent-A-Kid had locked him up for a good reason. Another part of me didn't want to know if this guy was dangerous. But I had to ask. I had to know what we were getting into by trusting him.

  "Did you hurt someone with your powers? Is that why they've you locked up?"

  He paused. 'Before I left my last foster home, something happened. There were two other foster kids there, a boy and a girl. Michael was only three, Shelly was six. Things were fine for a few days. Jennifer, the foster mom, kept us fed and sheltered. She wasn't great, but she was better than some. Brian, the dad, was gone for the weekend, in the military and on some kind of weekend training. When he got home, he was drunk. Really drunk.

  'Jennifer was furious. They got into a big fight, and he started choking her. Then Shelly interrupted. He backhanded her out of the way. I was out and had just gotten home when this happened. I slammed into him, throwing him across the room. I could've just used my mind to stop him, but I lost my temper, broke several bones, injured him pretty bad. He was in the hospital for a while. The kids told everyone what happened, so I wasn't held on charges. But I left the system then, a few weeks before my eighteenth birthday. Shelly and Michael were put into new homes. I never went back.'

  Neither of us spoke for a moment.

  This hadn't been the story I expected. Or feared. Could this be why Rent-A-Kid had locked him up? It didn't make sense; the law didn't find him at fault. We needed to control our powers, but that hardly justified what they were doing to Drake.

  Still, this wasn't my problem, right? If I got involved, I could lose everything. But if I didn't get involved….

  I thought of Tommy, how I'd left him with that horrible man and a life about to be destroyed. With all the other assignments, I just did my job and walked away, never thinking much about the consequences. Never wanting to think about it.

  Now, just when I thought I was about to be free, I was forced to examine everything. "If you're right and this isn't all it seems, then what do we do? We don't know anyone, anywhere. You must know someone who can—"

  'I have a friend in Venice—Brad, a reporter. If we can find a way to contact him, he might be able to help. We'll need to come up with a plan.'

  I shared Brad's idea with Lucy and Luke.

  "That sounds like a possibility," Luke said, "but how would we get ahold of this guy? Not like we get free access to the outside world."

  I thought about it. "I'm supposed to be going on another assignment soon."

  "I thought that was your last one," Lucy said.

  "I know. It was supposed to be, but Higgins has one more for me. Honestly, I forgot about it until now. Maybe I can find a way of contacting Brad while I'm gone."

  "What about your guard?" Luke asked.

  "He doesn't follow me to the bathroom. If I get Brad's phone number from Drake, and steal someone's cell phone for a few minutes, maybe I can make a call."

  Lucy nibbled on her lower lip. "That might work, but you'd have to be really careful."

  I rolled my eyes. "No, I thought I'd announce my plan to everyone!"

  "Don't be a smartass, chica, this could be really dangerous."

  "I can't think of anything else. Can you? We're too isolated here. We have no other choice."

  We stared at one another, and each of us nodded in turn. No one really expected a better plan to land in our laps.

  ~~~

  Lucy and Luke saw me before anyone else the next day, and tag-team hugged me.

  "You're off the deathbed, and you don't look like a sexy ghost anymore," said Lucy. "I knew the soup we brought would make you better!"

  "Yes, I'm sure that's exactly what did it." I always looked pale compared to them.

  We got to our Economics class and settled into our seats in the back. I mentally checked everyone, but it was just more of the usual—boys, girls, parties, tests, fear of the future, excited or nervous about the next assignment. Jessica caught my eye and smiled. She rarely talked, and we didn't hang out much, but I liked her. She held out her hand to me, I nodded my consent, and she sent a cold breeze to my still inflamed cheek. It immediately numbed the pain, a super handy power for injuries.

  Peter, a boy who'd been asking me out for a few years, sent a papier-mâché rose floating through the air to my desk. Mr. Jackson glared at him and nodded to me, the only indication he would give that I'd been gone for over a week and then out sick. Fine by me. I took out my book for class, placed my sketchbook over it, and started doodling, daydreaming about sixth-period art, where my focus wouldn't have to be feigned.

  Dozens of sketches of the twins covered the pages. Over the years, I'd painted, sketched, or in some way drawn nearly every inch of this place, including the entire faculty and every student. My secret notebooks proved that I'd really been here.

  Even if just to myself.

  Chapter 6

  Over the next few weeks, dizziness and nausea thwarted my plans to help Drake or learn anything new. My illness forced me to leave class twice to go to the Clinic. This continued despite the fact that my face had healed well, and the flu shouldn't last that long.

  With my eighteenth birthday days away, I still hadn't heard from Higgins about my next assignment. This would be my last chance to get off campus and get us some help.

  In addition to losing all excitement for my future, my concern for Drake buzzed in my mind like a pestering bee. As his strength faded by the day, he became more and more ill.

  'Sam!'

  My history professor enlightened us about some war or another. I pretended to pay attention while listening to Drake.

  'I heard the nurses talking. They're moving me, but I don't know where.'

  My heart skipped a beat, but I forced myself to stay calm and keep up appearances. "I don't know what to do. I haven't figured out anything."

  I'd spent the last few weeks secretly studying Dr. Sato's Japanese dialect, but I still couldn't read her mind accurately.

  'They're coming in. Sam!'

  "Drake! Drake!"

  Nothing.

  I ran out of the classroom, startling everyone next to me, and headed to the nearest bathroom. "Drake. Drake!"

  He didn't answer. They'd probably drugged him unconscious.

  I fought in vain to keep tears from spilling down my cheeks. The bathroom door opened and Lucy walked in. I splashed water on my face to wipe away any evidence, and dried off, hands still shaking, heart still racing.

  "Sam, are you okay?"

  The flood gates opened again, and I told Lucy everything.

  "Oh, chica, I'm so sorry. We'll sort it out." She held me as I cried into her shoulder.

  Then my stomach rumbled, and I threw myself at the nearest stall, just barely making it to the toilet before practically puking up my intestines.

  "Is she okay?"

  Great, Luke was there too. Sometimes his ability to walk through walls unnerved everyone around him. The heaving stopped. I wiped my mouth with toilet p
aper and stood up slowly.

  Lucy protested. "Luke, this is the girl's room, you're not allowed in here! Just… never mind. Help her."

  "Sam, no arguments." He put a little extra thunder in his voice. "I'm taking you to the Clinic."

  He'd get no complaint from me.

  I stumbled out to the sink and rinsed my face and mouth. The sight of my skin, like paste dotted in beads of sweat, made me feel even worse.

  They escorted me through the halls. Luke kept a hand on my shoulder, in case I got a bit too wobbly.

  Lucy said, "I already told Mr. Vecarali that I'd make sure you got to the Clinic. He gave us all passes."

  On the way there, Lucy filled Luke in on what had happened to Drake.

  "While we're in there, Sam, try to ferret anything you can from the staff's minds. Lucy, you ask some questions, see if anyone is lying. Sam said Missy knew something, so ask her. I'll see if I can discreetly slip through a few locked doors and find anything."

  The twins left me in the care of Dr. Sato and went to do their spying. I tried to make contact with Drake but still couldn't reach him. What if they'd already moved him somewhere too far away? What if they'd hurt him? And as always, my mind kept coming back to the same questions. Why? Why bring him in now? They couldn't rent him out, because he was a loose cannon—but he wasn't a true danger. So what use did they have for him?

  And what would they do to me when I turned eighteen?

  I clutched my stomach as another spasm rode me. Dr. Sato rushed to my side and led me to a bed. While she helped me change into a hospital gown, I tried to scan her thoughts.

  My language skills had improved enough that the dialect wasn't too hard to understand now. Still, people usually don't think in coherent sentences, which made context very important.

  'She's sick… hope baby okay… color… yellow… the boy is trouble… but strong powers… their baby is good… fear… I want….'

  I didn't know what to make of it all. What baby? What was she talking about? As I reclined on the bed, she got out an ultrasound machine.

  "I check your belly for sickness," she told me, her English more broken than normal.

  'Shouldn't feel it yet… can't let her see….'

  Can't let me see what?

  She hid the screen from me as she squirted my abdomen with cold jelly and rubbed the camera over it.

  'Baby too big… growing too fast… definitely pregnant.'

  "Pregnant?" I spoke out loud before thinking.

  She flinched. Only slightly, but enough that I knew I had hit the mark.

  "Where you hear about pregnant? I not pregnant," she said, clearly trying to deflect the conversation.

  'This girl reading mind?... never reads mine… what tell them?'

  Her thoughts froze me. What the hell? I couldn't be pregnant. I'd never even had sex! It's not that I had anything against sex, but when your every move is watched and recorded, it kinda takes the romance out of it. Besides, I'd never met a guy I was really into until….

  Oh, my God. Drake, a boy I hadn't even met in person yet, had already taken over my thoughts and my heart. I needed him. And he needed me. Where was he?

  "Drake?" Still nothing.

  My head swam with conflicting realities.

  This couldn't be happening. This wasn't real. I must have misunderstood her Japanese. I'd only been studying it for a few weeks. I probably misinterpreted the entire thing and panicked for nothing.

  Logically, this made sense, but my body knew the truth. Even as I denied it, I could feel the new life growing inside me.

  And suddenly my being pregnant made a horrible kind of sense.

  They needed more kids. If we were right, and they basically ran a paranormal human trafficking ring, they needed as many of us as they could get. And what better way to get more paranormals than to breed them?

  Dr. Sato glanced over her shoulder at me as she left the room, closed the door, and…. Did she lock it? Oh crap!

  I scanned all the minds in the Clinic that I could find. Missy talked with Lucy. She was nervous, lying, thinking about Drake. He'd been moved to another facility. They'd gotten what they needed from him, but she didn't know what that was. She'd overheard something she shouldn't have, and it scared her.

  I searched for Luke. I usually stayed out of my friends' minds, out of respect. No one wants to be best friends with someone who is always spying on their thoughts. But I didn't think he'd mind me sneaking a peek under the circumstances.

  I found him. His mind sorted through information, breaking into fragments—worried about getting caught, looking at records. My records.

  'Sam is pregnant?... what?... what the hell have they done to her?... oh my God… Drake… that's why they took him… wanted his powers to breed with… Oh Sam… how will I tell her?... what are we going to do?... oh shit… Lucy… she'll be eighteen soon… sons of bitches… I'm going to kill them all….'

  I stopped listening, paralyzed. It was true. I was pregnant, and it looked like Drake was the father.

  Chapter 7

  Dr. Sato didn't release me from the Clinic. My door remained locked, and she alone came and went. She said I had a dangerous stomach virus that could make others sick, but to which she was immune. Yeah right.

  I celebrated my eighteenth birthday with her and the few books she allowed to occupy my time. They bored me to death.

  Worrying about Drake made me sick, as no one had any useful information. Missy had been mysteriously replaced by a new receptionist who knew nothing relevant.

  Lucy and Luke's thoughts revealed their desperate need to reach me, but I couldn't communicate with them like I could with Drake. That still puzzled me.

  Dr. Sato did allow me to keep notebooks, so I started writing everything I wanted to say to Drake in my special language. That journal became my only connection to him, or anyone else, for three long weeks.

  The torture of isolation, of endless contemplation, forced me to analyze every detail of my existence at Rent-A-Kid. We often got postcards from kids who had left to start their new life, and I got care packages from my 'parents.' They could easily fake these, use them to keep us passive and hopeful, and from rocking the boat or questioning our lives.

  It had worked.

  How could I have been so gullible my whole life? I had allowed myself to become the ultimate victim in every area of my life, from the Rent-A-Kid nightmare, to the bullies at school or on assignment.

  And what about my life goals? If I ever got to have a real life. My teachers always encouraged me to pursue linguistics and to do something with international relations. That made sense, but really, once I left here, I wanted to get as far away from this life as possible.

  My life up until now had been pretty shallow. And now, just as I saw the truth, they locked me up and made me impotent. Rent-A-Kid turned me into a victim once again, unable to affect any kind of change.

  My purgatory ended on a day as boring as the rest, when Dr. Sato came in smiling.

  "Good news. Your tests are clear and you can go! You have party waiting and friends. Then you go to New York."

  "Wait, I was supposed to have another assignment before I left." I needed that assignment to connect with Brad.

  "That canceled. You too sick. But okay for party."

  I couldn't believe my ears, so I listened with my mind. 'Can't… disappear… friends miss her… must do party… not showing yet… must move her….'

  So they would move me. But where? If only I had Drake's ability to control other people. How did he do that? And how did they catch a streetwise, super-strong guy who could control people? If they could contain him, my chances of escape seemed pretty slim.

  I instinctively put a hand over my abdomen; it happened a lot these days. I moved it before Dr. Sato noticed. The reasons to resent this child, this pregnancy, grew daily. Yet love grew in my heart despite it all. This baby could not be blamed for the way in which it had been conceived, and it was my job to protect it. From them.
From the world.

  What would Drake say when he found out? If he found out? If they were done with him, what would they do to him? Would they just… get rid of him? I doubted they'd let him go, but my mind refused to consider the alternative.

  Dr. Sato handed me a beautiful red ball gown. It was to be a fancy affair, my fake going-away party. After a quick shower, I did up my long hair in a French twist, put on makeup and jewelry from the supplies Dr. Sato handed me, and slipped on my red heels. I was ready to make my entrance.

  And my exit.

  ~~~

  When Lucy and Luke saw me outside the ballroom entrance, they nearly plowed me over with hugs.

  "What happened to you?" "We tried to visit but they wouldn't let us in." "Are you okay?" "We have so much to tell you."

  "Wow, hold on a sec guys, one at a time. I have a confession to make. I've been spying on you. I know it goes against our friendship code, but I was so anxious to know what was happening."

  Luke looked so sad it nearly made me cry. "So you know?" He reached for my hand.

  I switched to our special language. "Yes, I know about the baby and about Drake."

  They hugged me again—the way friends hug when words just aren't enough.

  "We can talk, but we have to pretend like we're celebrating. We can't let them know we know, and we obviously need a new plan. Apparently, I won't be going on that last assignment."

  They nodded and, each holding one of my hands, my best friends gave me the strength to play the part of the happy girl heading to Sarah Lawrence.

  All of my training did not prepare me for this hardest of parts. My heart broke with each smile. Unshed tears crushed my soul. I mourned the end of my dreams even as a fake smile greeted my small world.

  I left the cool stillness of the night and walked into my going-away party. The onslaught of sounds, smells and colors sent my head spinning for a moment. I paused, taking in the scene of happy teenagers talking, laughing, eating.

  They all still lived in the bubble created for us. Only we three knew the truth. How would we save ourselves from this? And what would become of them?