by Sara Cate
“Oh my god, Alex!” I spew. There’s not much privacy in this neighborhood. I can see directly into his house from my room, so it’s easy to assume other people can see him jumping naked as a jay bird into his pool.
He laughs, another hearty chuckle that lights my heart up.
“Better than a shower, rain cloud. Your choice.” He splashes me from the edge of the pool. The weather has cooled, but not too cold to swim by any stretch. I bite my lip, looking around at the neighbor’s yards. The trees still have most of their leaves, so I know my mother and sister can’t see over, unless they’re in my room and even then, it’s sparse.
No one in their right mind would pass up skinny dipping with Alexander Caldwell. So, after downing the water bottle and dropping it on the table, I peel my tank top off, leaving me in just my sports bra. He turns around, as if he’s going to cover his eyes as I let my jogging shorts drop to the ground. I feel so exposed, the bare skin of my ass on the pool deck as I dangle my feet in the water. Last, I pull up my sports bra as I sink into the water.
He’s right. The cool pool water feels amazing on my blazing hot skin after that long jog.
When he turns around, I’m submerged to my shoulders, but I know he could see my tits through the water if he really looked.
Is he looking?
Swimming toward him with a smile, I circle him. He reaches out and takes one of my legs. I feel the bareness of his hip as he pulls me toward him.
Just when I think we’re about to play the same game we played yesterday, the stakes a whole lot higher being naked, he plants a hand on my head and pushes me under the water. I laugh until I realize I’m under the water with the bare bottom half of Alexander's body. Once my face is submerged, I open my eyes and see him, the dark hair around his thick manhood, which looks a bit harder and longer than it should at a moment like this.
Did I do that to him? The vision of me naked aroused him. Did he push me under so I could see it?
When I pop back out, I laugh at him, but I keep my distance. Our exposed bodies, especially him with that growing erection, is a recipe for disaster if he wants the both of us to keep our hands to ourselves.
Instead, I perch my forearms on the pool deck and look at the mess I’ve made in the pool house. I imagine him saddling up behind me, pressing that thick erection against my back. Kissing my neck and dragging his lips down my spine.
The sound of him getting out of the pool and walking toward the table where his towel is waiting interrupts my daydream. I catch a glimpse of him before he covers himself. His solid body, the dark hair drawing a subtle line down his stomach from his belly button to that hidden place that suddenly disappears behind the towel.
“Where are you going?” I call after him. He stops before he disappears into the pool house.
Without fully looking at me, he tilts his head in my direction. “After last night, I thought it was clear that you and I shouldn’t be in a pool together.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I don’t know why his comment sours my stomach, but I was fucking proud of myself for doing exactly what he wanted last night. I played by his rules, pushing him away like he wanted, and now I’m being punished for it, and frankly, I’m really fucking sick of being punished for shit I didn’t do.
Stirred by anger, I climb out of the pool and follow him into the pool house, standing before him naked and dripping water all over the tiles. When he spins toward me, his eyes nearly bug out of his head.
“What the fuck are you doing?” he blurts out, spinning away from me.
“I told my dad we were just friends. So, are we?” Stomping toward him, I yank his arm, turning him to face me.
“Jesus, Sunny. Cover yourself.” He looks around at the windows afraid someone can see me, but at this point, I couldn’t give a shit.
I don’t even hear him. I’m too fueled by burning this angst between us. The limbo he’s keeping me in is torture, and I’m done.
“Alex!” I shout. “Answer me.”
Stuck with no other choice, he pushes me backward until my back is pressed against the wall and I’m out of view of the neighbors. It leaves our bodies inches apart.
“Are we friends, Sunny?” he gasps. “I’m too old to be your fucking friend. I’m trying to do right by you, be what you need, but so help me God…” He leans his head back like I’m hurting him.
“I’m not a child, Alex. And you’re not a monster.” With my bare skin against the wall, I touch his face. His eyes meet mine, and I watch him swallow. He’s about to kiss me; I can feel it.
He leans in, so slowly I wait for him to close the distance, and just when his face is close enough to feel his breath against my mouth, his forehead drops to my shoulder. The heavy breath moves through his chest like every inhale is full of pain.
Framing my face, his hands stay glued to the wall behind me, and I let my lips graze the skin of his arm. The pain I’m causing him will break me, and I’m certain at this very moment that neither of us will make it out of this unscathed. It occurs to me at that moment that if I cared about him at all, it’s clear what I should do, and it absolutely kills me to admit.
I have to move out.
Sunny
He doesn’t say much for the rest of the day. After the tense encounter in the pool house, he made quick work of ignoring me and opening a bottle of bourbon. He’s been in one of his moods ever since. It’s not anger at me anymore. It’s the neutral, non-caring version of Alex that shatters my heart into shreds.
It’s well past midnight when I hear the sound of the ice clink in his glass as he walks into the pool house. I don’t know if he’s waiting for me to go to bed, but I can’t sleep in this house tonight. I figured the best thing for me to do would be to wait until he goes to sleep and sneak back to mine.
Just thinking about it makes my chest want to cave in, but I have to. I know that now. As much as I want Alex, I know what it would cost him to let himself down after he’s spent so long doing what he thinks is right.
I was supposed to be making this easy for him, and I know I’m not. I watched him grind his molars at dinner as I sauntered in with nothing but one of his T-shirts and a pair of underwear, but neither of us had done laundry for days and it was the last thing I had. He’s hardly one to talk with those gray sweatpants he walks around in. The house today feels like a ticking time bomb, and we’re both about to let it destroy us.
And at this point, I’m ready for an all-out war. Once again, I’m left without a choice in this matter. Someone else is calling the shots, and my voice is silenced. Walking around in nothing but his T-shirt with my bare ass on the dining room chairs is just my way of protest.
With Dua Lipa playing in the pool house, I try to focus on the veins of these flowers in gold and blue when I hear him sit on the couch. He takes a drink but says nothing.
The music stops, and I know he’s controlling it from his phone, leaving the room in awkward silence as I work, trying desperately hard to focus. There is a sense of expectancy in the air, like we both know everything between us is about to change.
“Did you see me under the water, rain cloud?” he mumbles, a cold edge to his voice.
My hand freezes. Why is he doing this? Bringing it up when he knows it will only make things worse. He’s trying to start something, and I don’t think I can handle him starting something he’s not willing to finish.
“Did you?” he says again, his voice low and sexy.
“Of course, I did,” I answer, trying to keep things casual. “Did you want me to?” The teasing tone in my voice doesn’t come out genuine.
“I wanted you to see what you do to me.”
Like this is all my fault. Like my presence alone is what drives the torment in him. On one hand, I hate him for blaming this on me. And on the other...the control turns me on.
I have to gulp down air just to swallow. My back is still to him, but I hear him moving, shifting on the leather sofa. Setting the paintbrush down, I try to cle
an off the brush and catch a glimpse of what he’s doing.
He’s moving, writhing slowly against the couch, his hand on his crotch.
Then, there’s the sound of a zipper.
My eyes close.
“Do you know what I’m doing, Sunny?”
His words punch the air out of my lungs as I turn my head enough to see the slow movement of his arm and the thick erection in his hand. I’m frozen in place. Is he drunk or does he finally want to tear down this wall between us? And do I play along or stop him for his own sake?
“Face the wall,” he commands when he catches me looking. It’s the tone that drives my toes to curl.
I do as I’m told and look back at the still wet paint on the wall.
“Answer me. Do you know what I’m doing?”
“Yes,” I croak, my mouth feeling dry.
His slow rhythmic movement has my thighs clenching, the muscles in my core pulsing at the thought of him watching me while he does that. Maybe this could be where we draw the line. We can keep our distance, acknowledge the fire between us without burning ourselves on it.
“Does it scare you?” he asks.
My answer is immediate. “No.”
His next words come out in a rasp. “Do you want to touch yourself?”
I have to bite my lip from gasping, and I’m already practically grinding myself on the heel of my foot as I sit on my folded legs in front of him. “Yes,” I breathe.
“Do it.”
With my eyes closed, I snake my fingers across my thigh to the apex between, feeling immediate relief the moment I touch my sensitive, aching clit at the top. Letting my head hang back, I circle the spot, picturing Alexander palming his own erection. I imagine it’s my hand around his dick, his fingers between my folds.
When he groans, I wait for his next instructions. Every inch of my body is waiting for him to touch me. I hope this is him changing his mind. After this, he couldn’t possibly keep his distance. Once he sees how good he makes me feel and how bad I want him, he’ll give in.
“Lie down.” His voice is deep, hungry, and I can hear the strain. When I recline on the middle level of the scaffolding, I catch a glimpse of his movement, his hand pumping faster. I wish I could see it closer, desperate for the moment he lets me touch it. “I want to watch, rain cloud.”
The skin of my cheeks grows hot as I pull up my shirt and slip my fingers into my underwear, writhing on the hardwood platform when they reach the right spot. The muscles of my thighs squeeze around my hand as I move closer to my climax.
His heavy breath as he strokes himself pushes me toward this cliff of pleasure. We’re not even touching, and I’ve never felt closer to him.
“You feel that?” he whispers just loud enough for me to hear it. “That’s me between your legs, Sunny. My fingers are there.”
“Yes,” I moan, my back arching at the thought.
“This is your hand around my cock. Your lips. Your pussy.”
My legs clench, and I let out a loud yelp. When my orgasm takes over, my body seizes, riding the wave of blood rushing to my core.
“That’s it baby. I’m with you,” he groans as I hear his loud sigh of relief, and I know he’s feeling what I am.
As my climax fades, and I regain feeling in my fingers and toes, I open my eyes, a smile stretching across my face. Turning my head, I search for his eyes, but I only see an empty couch. He’s walking quickly out of the pool house and into the main house, leaving me in the throes of pleasure—alone.
A surge of anger propels me off the scaffolding and into the house.
I’m tired of being toyed with. I’m tired of feeling like a dirty little secret, when what we have feels like the realest thing I’ve ever felt.
“Alex,” I shout at him as I shut the patio door. He’s already in his bedroom, closing the door in my face.
I don’t hesitate as I pull it open and find him washing his hands in the bathroom sink, knowing it’s the product of our lust that he’s rinsing down the drain.
“I’m sorry, Sunny,” he mumbles, and I grab his arm, spinning him toward me.
“Stop apologizing to me. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“That was most definitely wrong, rain cloud.” His large hands grip my face and pull me closer, just out of reach of his lips. “You have me wanting these things, and I’m struggling to deny myself, Sunny. I want you so bad, it hurts.”
“So, stop denying yourself,” I cry, tears pricking behind my eyes. All of my chips are on the table, and I’m so desperate for his physical touch that I know I’ll die from this. “I want you too, Alexander.”
“I’m so fucked up, baby. You’re perfect. Don’t you see that? I can’t do that to you. I can’t.” His face is contorted in anguish as he brings our faces so close, I can feel his breath.
“You’re not fucked up to me,” I sob, reaching for his lips.
“Do you know what happens to the girls that I fuck? I want them until I get them. Then, I hate them, and I forget about them. I can’t take that chance with you.”
“It’ll be different with us, I promise. You won’t ruin me. You won’t forget about me.I trust you, Alex.”
His lips brush mine, and I clutch his hair in my fist, trying to pull him close enough to feel his tongue on mine. He puts more distance between us. “You’re the most precious thing in the world to me, my sweet girl. I haven’t cared about anything in so long, and I care about you. If I lose that…”
“You won’t lose me. You will never lose me, Alex.”
His lips crash against mine, his tongue invading my mouth, and for a moment I’m lost in this sensation of Alexander. His smell, his taste, his breath.
Pressing my tongue through the space between his lips, he groans, nipping at my mouth. It becomes a battle of tasting each other, a sudden ability to feel the things we’ve been so desperate to feel for months.
I let out a shriek when his hands reach behind my thighs and pull me against his body, my legs wrapping around his waist. He walks me to the bed and drops me down, crawling over me, filling the space between my legs while I fumble with his pants. My heart is hammering in my chest as he lifts the hem of my shirt, exposing my breasts.
“I can’t stop, rain cloud,” he groans.
“Then don’t.”
When his mouth closes over the pink bud, I let out a soft moan. I had no idea it would feel so good. That his lips on my nipples would send such a jolt of pleasure to my core. But suddenly, I feel a frantic need to have him inside me.
It takes me a moment to get his pants unbuttoned, and I have to use my toes to shimmy them off his body. When they finally drop to the floor, I see the hardness peeking out of the top of his boxer briefs for me, and I reach for it, anxious to hold it in my hands, this powerful thing that I do to him.
As my hand encircles the hard shaft, I have a moment of panic, suddenly not knowing what I should do. Slowly, I slide my hand along the length, watching him for a reaction. He jacks his hips forward to meet my hand, his mouth still devouring my left tit. He moves to the right, and I squeeze him harder.
“Am I doing this right?” I ask in a gasp.
In response, he nips at the skin of my breast and moans.
“Stop me, Sunny,” he whispers.
“No,” I answer honestly. I’m not doing what we did in the pool. I’m done pretending that we don’t want each other, that his body isn’t all I crave.
He answers with soft kisses up my chest to my neck, my earlobe, and then to my lips. “I’m afraid I’ll hurt you.”
“I want you to,” I answer, and he thrusts forward again.
Moving the fabric of my underwear to the side, his fingers find my folds and dip inside, pressing his palm against my clit. A loud gasp escapes my lips. As he presses in a second finger, my back arches, and I pump my hand faster around his dick.
“Promise me you want this, Sunny.” The strain in his voice both breaks my heart and turns me on. With his fingers still buried to the k
nuckles. I wrap my legs around him and pull him closer. I wait for his eyes to find mine before answering.
“I shouldn’t want you as much as I do.” Something in his features surrenders the fight when he hears me. With his lips against mine, I try to kiss him with every ounce of need in my body.
“I don’t just want you, Alex. I need you.” My voice comes out as a cry, desperate, and he’s quick to answer the call.
He pulls his fingers out of me and shifts so far that I have to let go of him. For a moment I panic, that he’s about to stop what we’re doing. Instead, he pulls his boxers down and off as he walks over to the side table drawer for a condom.
My heart beats even faster. This is happening, and it almost seems too impossible to be real. In a rush, I pull my shirt off and shimmy out of my underwear, so that I’m lying completely naked in Alexander’s bed.
Positioning himself between my legs, I watch as he puts the condom on, his eyes staying on my face the whole time. There’s a new hunger in his stare that I could drown in.
As he rests his weight on my body, he kisses me softly. I feel the tip of his cock positioned at the entrance of my core, and I wrap my arms and legs around him, drawing him as close as I can.
“This feels like my first time, too,” he whispers against my mouth, and I smile against his kiss as he presses himself inside. Keeping his lips on mine, he stops once he’s in an inch. “Stay with me, rain cloud. This part will hurt.”
I take a deep breath in and keep my eyes on his face, using his steady stare as the bullet between my teeth. In a quick motion, he thrusts, past the feeling of something popping, and I let out a small scream. It feels so tight the skin burns, but on the inside, it’s like he’s reached a new but different level of pleasure. I am consumed, knowing his touch everywhere on my body and never wanting to let it go.