Beautiful Monster: a standalone age-gap romance

by Sara Cate

  “There’s an excellent co-op commissioned by the university downtown,” Charlotte says nonchalantly, stirring sugar into her cup. “It’s a six-month program. City sponsored art is huge right now, and most of the artists who come out of it go on to do murals all over the world.”

  Beside me, I feel Sunny tense. Her eyes are fixed on my sister.

  “Did you know about that?” I ask, looking down at her.

  Quietly, she nods, and my heart sinks just a little lower in my chest. Why didn’t she tell me? Sunny is more than qualified for that.

  “You should definitely look into it, Sunny,” Charlotte goes on. “It’s all paid for by the university, and I don’t think you’d have a problem getting in.”

  “Thanks,” Sunny mumbles with her lips perched over her coffee cup.

  I give her shoulder a squeeze again, and I can still feel the tension. Now I’m really anxious for my sister to get lost so I can pick Sunny’s mind about this because she’s definitely hiding something.

  “So, what do you have planned in Pineridge today?” I ask my sister.

  “There’s a Cherry blossom festival at the park today. I figured I’d have to drag you out of the house…” She tries to hide a sneaky smile, but I catch her eyes on Sunny.

  “I’ve always wanted to see that,” Sunny says softly.

  “Then, we’re going,” I answer too quickly. I shouldn’t be surprised that her asshole parents never took her to anything like that, and even if we hadn’t started what we started last night, I’d want to take her. I want to show Sunny everything. I want her to have everything.

  “I’ll go get dressed.” Dropping a kiss on her cheek, I leave the girls to run toward the bathroom. About halfway across, I remember the pictures someone snapped and posted all over social media. Sunny doesn’t know yet, but she will. And if we do this...there will be more.

  “Rain cloud,” I mutter from the door of the bedroom. She quickly excuses herself and runs over. The bright look in her eyes has me pulling her in for a kiss before I can get a word out. Hiding her inside the room, I let my hands roam the soft fabric of her dress and over her little round ass.

  “Is this what you called me in for?” she whispers breathlessly.

  “No,” I answer into her neck. I fish my phone out of my pocket. While she watches, I open up the posts I was tagged in. I watch her eyes for panic, but there’s nothing there. Instead, her lips curl at the ends, making her eyes crinkle with a smile.

  “This won’t stop. If it makes you uncomfortable, I’ll keep my hands to myself,” I say gently as she scrolls through the posts.

  “And what if I don’t want you to?” She’s being cautious, checking the water. The old Alexander would have run scared at the slightest sign of commitment. She wants to know how serious I am about her.

  “Then, I won’t let go of you for one second. Let them take their pictures.” My lips find the soft peak of her cheekbone as she smiles.

  “And it doesn’t bother you if they think we’re together?” she asks softly.

  “Think?”

  Her eyes find mine, and she waits for me to speak. So often, I see Sunny’s hesitancy to speak up, the fear that she’s wrong, waiting for me to set the rules. My brave, headstrong, beautiful girl shouldn’t hesitate for anyone. Kissing her nose, I look into her eyes. “I don’t care who knows we’re together, Sunny.”

  Winding my arms around her waist, I squeeze her closer, kissing her deeply and trying to feel the same confidence I just conveyed. Because it doesn’t matter to me, but I know it will cost something different for her, to be labeled as one of Caldwell’s flings. Even though I act like I don’t care, in truth it terrifies me. I’m pulling Sunny into my world, and I don’t know if she’ll still love me when she finds what’s hidden there.

  Sunny

  Alexander’s hand is warm in mine as we stroll through the park. We drove separately from his sister, but she still walks beside us, and after her initial reaction to my dating Alex, she seems to have warmed up. I can still tell she’s keeping herself guarded, like she doesn’t expect me to last long, so she won’t get attached.

  Which is fine. If Alex doesn’t care about other people’s reaction to our relationship, then neither do I. I notice people looking. They have the same initial reaction when they see him, then their eyes settle on me, and I’m not stupid. I know what they see. Young girl, excited to be seen with the most notable playboy in Pineridge. This month’s headline, forgotten by tomorrow.

  But it all feels like distractions. The only thing that matters is what Alex and I have, and it was born in that pool house, not out here in the public light of day. None of this will change us.

  I trust us, and I know he does too.

  He squeezes my hand and looks down at me with a smile. His eyes are hidden behind his RayBans, but I can tell he’s happy. I lean up and run my fingers through the gray-flecks in his short beard before pulling his face down for a kiss.

  “This is beautiful,” he whispers while his sister is distracted. “But I want to go home.”

  “Me too,” I whisper with a smile, knowing what he’s thinking. All day I’ve been letting the events of yesterday, from the skinny dip to touching ourselves in the pool house all the way to the moment he buried himself between my legs, run in a play-by-play loop in my head, soaking my underwear and sending flutters of excitement through my belly nonstop.

  Being with Alexander was more than I expected. He’s so passionate, and yet gentle. All the fears of him screwing me up by just being with me seem so trivial now. We’re finally free, free to be together without these expectations. And even if he hasn’t said it yet, I feel his love. In the way he looks at me to the way he touches me. I’m not just a quick lay for Alexander, and I knew I wouldn’t be. He loves me.

  “Thanks for inviting us, Charlotte,” Alexander says as we reach the end of the park where the car is parked. He keeps my hand in his as he pulls his sister in for a hug.

  “Yes, thank you,” I say with a smile as she takes my hand in hers.

  “Sunny, I really hope you’ll look into that co-op. It’s a great opportunity for talented young artists like you.” She pulls me in for a hug, and I force the smile on my face. Any mention of that program sends a sudden pang of anxiety through my gut.

  As we leave his sister, Alex and I practically run to the car, both eager to get home where we can be alone, but as we both climb into his Audi, it’s clear neither of us want to wait. As soon as the doors shut, he pulls my face to his and kisses me so fiercely, I lose my breath. My heartbeat climbs up my throat and my need for him almost becomes painful.

  “Let’s go home,” I pant. When he pulls away, I notice the way his chest moves, heavy and breathless.

  Squeezing my fingers between his, he keeps our hands locked together as he starts the car. With a wink, he pulls out of the parking spot, and I have to bite my lip to keep from smiling like an idiot.

  I don’t want to jinx this, but things feel very good right now.

  Tensions rise during the long drive home. It’s only about fifteen minutes, but we’re both shifting in our seats, like we’re starving for each other. During the long red light, he pulls my face to his across the console and presses his tongue between my lips, and the sensation it creates down below takes my breath away. Neither of us talk much during the ride. The need is too much to make coherent conversation anyway.

  He pulls into the driveway, and I’m already unbuckling. Just as he puts the car into park, his hands are around my legs. Before I know what’s happening, I’m straddling his hips in the front seat of the car. He crashes his mouth against mine, and I let out a moan when the thickness in his pants rubs against my clit. My panties are so wet already, I’m sure I’m making a mess all over his lap.

  “Sunny,” he breathes against my lips, thrusting his hips up against me. “Get a rubber out of the glove compartment.”

  My heart beats even faster when I don’t move for the box, and it almost makes me s
hake with anticipation when I whisper back. “I’m on the pill, Alexander.” The second half of his name comes out in a whimper as he grinds against me again. He lets out a groan and bites my collarbone gently. His fingers stretch my panties to the side, rubbing the pad of his thumb through the moisture pooling there. I’m so desperate for him to fill me, I could cry.

  “I trust you,” I say, my voice high pitched and pleading.

  He stops his writhing as his eyes find mine. We’re both panting as he presses his lips against mine. “You can always trust me,” he growls.

  Quickly, his hands move for his zipper and before I can take my next breath, his cock is out and perched at my still sore opening.

  “I want to feel you so bad,” he groans. “Go easy, baby.”

  I lower my hips, and he slides in easily. I hear the air leave his lungs as I move, lifting and dropping my hips to experience a completely new sensation to having him inside me.

  His eyes bore into mine as I move, watching as the movement of my body paints an expression of pleasure on his face.

  A few minutes later, we’re both left panting, and I sit up to see the windows around us are foggy from our breath. When I look back down at him, his eyes are wide as he eats me up with his stare.

  “You are amazing, rain cloud.” His lips press softly to mine, and I want to stay in this moment forever. “But I’m afraid you might kill me.”

  I laugh against his mouth. We both wait for our breathing to level out and for the feeling to return to my limbs before we both climb carefully out of the car.

  After cleaning myself up in the bathroom, marveling at what the aftermath of sex without a condom is like, I find him sitting on the back patio, sucking down a cold beer and offering me one.

  “I want to order in for dinner. Sound good?”

  I smile at him, nodding my head. We sound like a regular couple, and even though we’ve been doing the same dinner, lifestyle routine for weeks, this part is new. The feeling is so right together.

  He pulls out his phone and orders Chinese delivery while I drape my legs over his. Rubbing my shins softly, we relax against our chairs and say nothing at all.

  After what feels like an hour, he turns toward me. “Did you know about that program downtown that my sister was talking about?” He seems curious, but I can tell by his expression that this is something he’s been thinking about.

  “Yeah…” I answer, avoiding his eyes.

  “Have you applied for it before?”

  I shake my head, trying to show disinterest. Really, I just want him to drop the subject. The six-month program is intense and for serious artists only. I love what I do, but the idea of drowning myself in it sounds exhausting.

  “Why not?” he asks.

  I shrug my shoulders, looking out toward the sunset. “I don’t know, Alex. It’s intense. I mean...just because I can paint a picture on your wall…”

  “What are you talking about? That program sounds perfect for you.”

  “I’m not that good,” I say, touching his leg and finding his fingers with him.

  He freezes, pulling my arm toward him. “Hey,” he says in a sharp tone, and I glare at him, waiting for his next words. “Don’t talk about my girlfriend like that.” With a final wink, my cheeks explode into a smile. I have to bite my lip from looking like a real idiot.

  “Promise me you’ll look into it, okay?” He squeezes my fingers again, touching them to his lips, and I have to nod my head because who can say no to that?

  The doorbell rings, and he pops up to get our dinner. While I wait, I try to settle the worry bubbling in my chest. He comes back with a bag of food that makes my mouth water when I get a whiff of the spicy chicken and rice.

  We eat right out of the cartons, and I struggle to keep the smile off my face. When I catch a glimpse of the mural behind him, I see the last quarter of the wall waiting to be finished. Then I remember what he told his sister about his plans for his PR and my painting.

  “So, when were you going to tell me you were going to advertise my art with influencers?” I ask through a bite of Chow Mein.

  “I figured you knew. What idiot would keep this a secret?” he asks, gesturing toward the pool house. “But you know, summer is winding down, Sunny. The sooner we get it out there, the better.”

  I swallow down my anxiety and a spoonful of rice. “I know.”

  “You’re almost done, baby,” he says, touching my leg. “Tomorrow, you can do nothing but work, okay? I won’t bother you all day.”

  I can't do much to hide the slouching disappointment in my body language, which makes him laugh.

  “You’ll have breaks, of course.” With a wink, he laughs, and I can’t stop myself from leaning forward and pressing my lips against his. He pulls me onto his lap and drops his chopsticks, winding his arms around my waist and holding me tight against his body.

  Alexander

  Keeping my promise, I lace up my running shoes and knock on the pool house window, letting her know I’m leaving. She’s been on the top rung of the scaffolding since sunrise. To be honest, I’m looking forward to a moment alone, not because I don’t fucking treasure every second around Sunny because I do, but I need to clear my head for a minute. It feels like everything has been going a mile a minute since that first moment two nights ago when she called me out on my bullshit.

  It’s a cool morning, a welcome cloudy sky for running. For the first mile, I don’t think about anything. I let my mind quiet and go silent.

  On the second mile, I replay every moment of the week. When I drank too much and pumped my own dick on the couch, watching her hands slip beneath her panties. When she ambushed me in the bedroom, pulling the distorted mirror away from my face so that I could see her more clearly than I have before. When she welcomed me between her legs, never making me feel ashamed or wrong for wanting her so bad. And the way she wanted me back.

  In my head, I was writing up excuses for letting myself have Sunny. I had pre-written speeches ready, detailing every reason I shouldn’t feel bad for this, such as her being perfectly legal, an old spirit for her age, wise and mature beyond her years. I told myself that she was a good influence on me, keeping me grounded and happy. Although, I assumed I’d have to say these things to my sister, I knew the person I was really convincing was myself.

  These runs were always great for opening up the real deep shit.

  Of course, all of these things were true. Sunny wasn’t like other twenty-year-old girls. She had more life behind her eyes than anyone twice her age.

  But that is beside the point. The point is that I don’t have to defend Sunny or our relationship to myself or anyone. Fuck, I’ve been happier in the last 48 hours than I’ve been since I was nineteen. I don’t feel like I’m indulging or flying off the handle. I feel like I’m falling the fuck in love, and maybe that’s what scares the shit out of me.

  I’ve never truly been in love before. I wasn’t even thirty before I just resolved myself to believe that I wasn’t capable of it. Some are built for the long haul, but I was convinced that in all of my relationships if I hadn’t found it by now, then I never would.

  And it’s not about Sunny’s age anymore. It hasn’t been in a long time. I don’t know the exact moment that I stopped seeing a teenager when I looked at her, and I know no one would believe it, but who the fuck cares? My attraction to Sunny goes far beyond her years.

  It’s about her little mannerisms, the way she bites her lips while she paints, the adorable way she curls up in on herself not matter what she’s sitting on, the little pen sketches all over her legs like she can’t bear to not be creating something and will use her own body as a canvas if she needs to. I love the way her eyebrows crease when she’s mad at me, how she’s so quiet and yet when she’s angry she erupts like a silent volcano. I love that she fell into my life so easily and although I hate how she was treated at home, I love that she doesn’t let it harden her. She puts herself first.

  When I turn the corner
to the neighborhood off the main drag, I look down at my watch and realize I hit five miles. Fuck, I really did need this run.

  And I’m glad I did. As tired as I am, I’ve never been more excited to get home to her. Call me crazy, but I want to spill everything I just realized about her. About us.

  Before I make the turn on my street, I see someone familiar walking ahead of me. Her black ponytail and curvy waist grab my attention. At the same moment, she spins her head and spots me.

  “Hey,” Cadence calls, pulling out one of her AirPods.

  I slow to walk next to her. “Hey Cadence.” Our greeting is respectful, cordial, but as soon as we’ve gotten through the usual how are yous there’s an awkward tension in our conversation.

  She stares at me cautiously. We haven’t spoken since Sunny’s birthday, and I don’t have the most respect for Cadence. She may be the only one in the family who really looks out for her sister, but she doesn’t do so wisely.

  “How’s Sunny?” Cadence asks, walking slowly by my side.

  “She’s great,” I say, rubbing my jaw. I feel her eyes on me, and I know she’s keeping pace with me to have a moment to talk about her sister. “Almost done with the mural actually.”

  “Good,” she says, pausing and staring blankly ahead. After a moment, she adds, “She’s happy with you.” It sounds more like a statement than a question, and I know it to be true. Sunny is happy, happier than she was when I met her.

  It’s silent and awkward for a moment, and I can feel her readying herself to say something. I want to tell her not to worry about Sunny, that I have it under control and will do what’s best for her, but then Cadence stops our walk with a hand on my arm.

  “Listen, Alexander…” she says, looking nervous “I don’t want Sunny coming back home.”

  “That makes two of us,” I answer with a laugh.

  “But that doesn’t mean I want her settling down with someone already. The thing about Sunny is that she’s loyal...to a fault. She won’t leave you, Alexander. No matter what it costs her.”