Ashes

by P. M. Briede

  “Wesley!” I cried. Someone’s hands grabbed at my elbows, but I shook them off. Touching his face had set him off before but I couldn’t see how he could possibly get any further from us. “WESLEY, LOOK AT ME! I’M RIGHT HERE! YOU JUST NEED TO SEE ME!” He was wild and I clung to his head, putting myself nose to nose with him. It guaranteed that his eyes could only see me. However, the move made me defenseless from his arms and he must have done something because I heard someone yell, “Grab his arms!”

  Tristan and Olivier bookended Wesley so that between the three of us Wesley was caged in. He was wearing down; evidenced by the weakened assault he continued to wage to free his arms. “Wesley, you have to come back to me,” I beseeched him in a more soothing tone. “I’m not Abigail. I’m Charlotte, your best friend for your whole life. I’m right here. You’ll never lose me. See me and remember. You know me; believe your eyes this time. They aren’t lying to you. Please, come back to me.”

  Wesley started blinking rapidly and suddenly he wasn’t fighting his human chains any longer. But it was still a good thing that Tristan and Olivier had a hold of him. Every muscle in his body gave out as he started convulsing, like he was the victim of a violent seizure. Olivier shouted, “Tristan, get down and hold his arms. Paige, we need you to come hold his head.” Then Olivier was in front of me, gripping my wrists. “Charlotte, you have to tell me what happened. What set Breaux off?”

  I was so focused on Wesley and concerned I was going to lose him permanently that I didn’t even see or hear Olivier until he gave me a gentle shake. “Charlotte! We’re not going to lose him but I need to know how to help him.” When my sight zeroed in on Olivier I saw he was no longer angry but very concerned and shaken. Knowing his fear increased mine tenfold, he reined it in and deliberately repeated, “What set him off, carissime?”

  “I brought up what happened to him at the hands of Abigail. Olivier, I had no idea this would happen. I just meant to…”

  “Okay, I can fix this,” Olivier broke in as he whizzed around. “I’ll explain later.” He took Wesley’s jerking head from Paige, placing a palm on each side of his face to lock him in. Foam oozed from Wesley’s mouth and I did the only thing I could think of. I knelt beside Wesley, took his hand in mine, and prayed. Within seconds, Paige was on his other side doing the same. Tristan and Olivier were at Wesley’s head locking down his shoulders and neck to hold him still.

  When Olivier began speaking to Wesley his voice had a mystical, musical quality. I instantly recognized its purpose. Something about the timbre and melody of Olivier’s voice made the mind more susceptible to believing whatever Olivier was about to say. But he also needed eye contact and Wesley’s eyes were very much shut. “Wesley,” Olivier began with reined in emotions, “it’s time to open your eyes now and remember where you are.” Wesley’s eyelids obediently slid open. “That’s it. Look into my eyes. You were tricked into bedding Abigail. But you don’t need to recall the details. They aren’t important. In the end your actions were brave and you were protecting Charlotte. Lock away your nightmares. That’s it, pack them away. You could still win her heart, Charlotte can be yours again. Just show her your worth, focus on that instead. One more lock ought to do. Good, now sleep.” Olivier and Tristan shared a look that Tristan just nodded in response to. Wesley’s body stopped shaking. His lids hid his eyes once more but at last he was peaceful.

  Olivier and Tristan lifted Wesley and carried him into Paige’s home to lay him on her couch with his head protectively cradled in my lap. I gently combed his hair with my fingers. Everyone else fell exhausted into the other furniture that littered the room. We were all so silent and still that I could clearly hear the click of her ceiling fan.

  Olivier should be upset with me, they all should be. I finally braved his wrath when I could take the silence no longer. “Olivier, what happened? You seemed to know.” A single tear slid down my cheek and landed on Wesley’s when I wasn’t quick enough to catch it.

  “Do you really not know?” Oliver asked. “Surely you have some idea…”

  “I know Wesley was caught in a nightmare his mind created,” I answered over him. “I knew that the whole time, it’s why I wasn’t fighting him. But why did it happen? Why now? You didn’t ask me what happened; you asked me what set him off. Why?” My eyes had returned to Wesley when he’d shuddered and mumbled. “Should I be worried now?” I whispered as I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand.

  I hadn’t heard Olivier get up, but that was no surprise because most times he was quiet as the dead. He gently caught one of my hands, pulled it away from Wesley, and cupped it between his. With Olivier kneeling beside me, I met his gaze when he said my name. “Charlotte, Breaux felt this coming on this morning. Even though he’s been aware for a week what happened to him, what he did with Abigail, the more intimate details he’d packed away. Liken it to how you have no memories of burning. For him the pain of his betrayal was just as devastating and his mind protected him from everything but the knowledge that it had happened.”

  I glanced back down at Wesley. I couldn’t imagine how I would have lived if my attackers had been successful. One of Wesley’s hands came up and caught mine, pulling it to rest on his heart. When Olivier continued, I left my eyes on the man who’d suffered the most from the treachery we all found ourselves entrenched in. “However, this morning he called me because his dreams were filling in the gaps with what he’d done with Abigail but this time it was her face he saw,” Olivier admitted. “He’d left Abigail in the hotel room to try and escape the demons and went to your home. Breaux called me and his voice alone told me he was in bad shape. I had time before my meeting, so I met him and he was worse than I expected. He was shaking but still conscious. He was crazed. He’d been tearing at the flesh above his heart, like he was trying to rip it out. When he saw me, he initially attacked. When he couldn’t overpower me, he crumbled and begged me to take the pain away. Charlotte, he asked me to kill him.”

  My gasp wasn’t the only one to pierce the room. I’d forgotten Paige and Tristan were even there. Tears were streaming down her face and seeing them, I was shocked to discover that my eyes had grown dry. Paige got the expected follow-up question out first. “Why? Why would Wesley want that?”

  Olivier must have forgotten about Paige and Tristan as well. At the sound of her voice, Olivier shot a glare at her so malevolent that she recoiled as if he’d actually struck her. Olivier’s tone ceased in its stoic calm when he addressed her; it was furious. “I believe because he was afraid of what happened in your backyard just now! Mess with a mind too much and eventually it goes off the rails! He knew the memories of what he’d thought had happened were colliding with the ones of what had actually happened. Breaux was afraid he wouldn’t be able to tell the difference anymore, that he wouldn’t know Charlotte anymore. It’s why I told you not to let him be alone with her!”

  Paige and Tristan both opened their mouths to defend her. She’d told me when we were outside that she hadn’t known he was here. Wesley needed to be our focus though and I broke in. “It wasn’t Paige’s fault, Olivier, and I know she already feels bad enough. We all do. This was my fault. I brought the whole thing up to Wesley. I didn’t understand how he was coping so well, couldn’t believe that he was. I wanted to help him, as you helped me.”

  We were all reeling from the facts and wondering how to help our friend so the room grew silent. My thoughts kept tangling around Wesley’s death wish, turning my stomach into knots. It was then I realized what Olivier had done, and therefore what I’d unintentionally undone. The signs were obvious in Wesley’s demeanor when I’d brought up his abuse. “Why, Olivier?” I asked softly. As I looked at Wesley’s face my heart was breaking for him while simultaneously swelling with love for Olivier. Olivier could have easily put to rest the competition for my love by ending Wesley’s life. Granted Olivier knew it would kill any chance he had with me also. But he could have taken advantage, could have let Wesley drown in his specters and go cra
zy. Olivier didn’t, what I’d witnessed in the backyard was proof enough that he’d tried to help his adversary.

  “You have to ask?” The tenderness of Olivier’s tone drew my gaze to him. “Charlotte, I love you. You love Breaux. Even if you choose me, he’s not going away. At a minimum, you two are the best of friends and I want you to have that. My inactions cost you a husband whom you adored.” The absolute last thing I wanted to think about right now was how the exiles had executed the murder of my late husband. “I’ll not make that mistake twice and cost you another loved one, even if it ends up costing me you.”

  Tristan cleared his throat and drew everyone’s attention back to the plethora of other problems we faced. “I hate to be the voice of doom, but how long does Wesley need to rest? We should have left half an hour ago to get Abigail from the spa. We’ve got a meeting in two hours and he has to be in enough shape to say his trigger phrase to keep from sleeping with her tonight. Is he going to be up for it?” Our collective attention swung to him when he spoke up. At his conclusion Paige and I lobbed it back to Olivier.

  “Is there any way to keep Breaux from Abigail tonight?” Olivier asked with a frustrated sigh. “He needs sleep. I can get him to where he can maneuver through the meeting without drawing suspicion.” Maintaining his hold on my hand which he’d stolen when he’d come to kneel beside me, Olivier ran the other through his hair in agitation. “Something the two of you need to work late on, that it wouldn’t be unreasonable if he stayed the night in your room. When he tells Abigail goodnight he can say the trigger.”

  Tristan nodded and stated he thought he could arrange something. There were always talking points and speeches to be written. Olivier then turned to Paige. “Charlotte needs to stay here with you tonight.” As she agreed, I opened my mouth to ask why. Olivier answered before the word escaped my lips. “Tristan and I are going to watch over the whelp tonight. We can’t have him lose it out on the campaign trail. I need to make sure those details are securely locked deep away in his mind. A sure fire way to know is if he’s tormented in his dreams. If Breaux passes the night peacefully, I’ll feel more confident. If not, well, you may have to stay another night with Paige.”

  I caressed Olivier’s face with the hand he’d stolen, grateful for his willingness to put aside their differences and help Wesley for my sake. “Alright, but then I’m com…”

  He didn’t allow me to finish. “While I would love nothing more than to have you present, the answer is no.” Olivier spoke assertively and I knew there was no arguing. “If Breaux is still haunted and confused about your image, you being there would make matters worse.” At my silent submission, Olivier stood. “Time to wake up sleeping beauty.”

  When I moved to gently remove Wesley’s head from my lap, Olivier suddenly cried out. “Shit! Charlotte, you can’t be here for this either. At least not right now.” He grabbed my hand and dragged me towards the back of the house while yelling over his shoulder. “Tristan, wake him up. Tell him he fell asleep while waiting for Charlotte and Paige. They are just now getting here. Don’t let him come find her and don’t tell him anything about what happened. If he asks, it was a bad dream. I’ll bring Charlotte to him.”

  “Olivier, why can’t I be there? What’s got you upset now?” We were in Paige’s kitchen and he stopped, turning me towards the mirror that was the back wall to her china cabinet. My image stared back at me with wide-eyed disbelief. I saw why Wesley couldn’t see me right now. My neck was severely bruised from when he’d choked me in the backyard. I could actually make out where each finger had been placed around my throat. It hadn’t hurt before, but I guess that was because I’d been too focused on Wesley. “Oh, my God!” I exclaimed.

  “It’s alright,” Olivier said in a reassuring voice. “I can fix it. But if the whelp sees the evidence around your neck, it’ll kill him and everything I did will have been for naught. There’s too much riding on him for that. I know how I’d feel if it were me.” We went out to the backyard and around the side of the house. I assumed so that if Wesley got away from Paige and Tristan, there would be a warning before he was upon us. Oliver scrutinized my neck, his fingers deftly tracing the bruise pattern.

  I’d expected Olivier to heal me with a kiss, as he’d done after the fire. His hands were massaging the skin as a mild burn grew. “Charissimus.” Olivier’s eyes met mine at the sound of his pet name. Love burned in them, communicating his longing to kiss me. After everything he’d admitted, everything he’d sacrificed to look out for Wesley, my desires were in line with his. I owed him my love along with my gratitude. “Kiss me,” I whispered.

  His hands stayed at my neck as he brought his lips to mine. It was the sweetest kiss we’d ever shared. It wasn’t raw or full of carnal lust. It wasn’t needy or possessive. No, it was innocent, filled with pure love; which is why I probably found it more thrilling than the others. This was a new side to Olivier. He’d been scared and unsure. He’d acted selflessly. “I love you,” I whispered against his lips. “Thank you for everything you did today.”

  Olivier chastely kissed me again. “You’re welcome, but I know what you’re thinking and you shouldn’t give me that much credit. Had I done anything less, I’d have lost you forever. I love you, Charlotte, and for the first time in my exiled life, I’m putting someone other than myself first.” He kissed my forehead before thoroughly examining my throat. Satisfied with what he saw he instructed me to go inside and he’d be there in a minute, as if he’d just arrived himself.

  Wesley bought our charade. My lying skills, having been used so much lately, were becoming easier to believe. Nervous to be around Wesley, since I did not want to set him off again, I feigned embarrassment when he asked me for a moment alone. He didn’t remember the one we’d had. Olivier said it was one of the memories he forced Wesley to lock away. But Olivier was adamant I not be alone with Wesley until we were as sure as we could be that Wesley wouldn’t lash out at me again. Of course, Wesley didn’t know or understand any of this and when I denied him, everything about him sagged. Unable to leave it at that, I took his hand, intertwined our fingers, and walked with him to Tristan’s car.

  Chapter 5

  I spent the rest of the weekend at Paige’s as Wesley’s dreams were not terror free. We got regular updates from Olivier and Tristan on how Wesley was doing along with general updates from Wesley. He knew Olivier was there to help him banish his ghosts but so far he had no recollection of attacking me. I also had many conversations with Olivier not on our burner phones since the rest of the world wasn’t aware that my heart was conflicted. He had a lot of free time since during the day he just sat in Tristan’s hotel room. Needless to say, he’d get bored fast.

  “I wish I was with you,” Olivier said with a sigh. I’d see him tomorrow at school, but I longed for him as well and said so. When I continued on, thanking him again for what he was doing, he stopped me. “I don’t want your gratitude. I want your love.” Unsure what to say that he’d accept, I said nothing. He apprehensively broke the silence. “Charlotte, are you still there?”

  “Yes, Olivier, I’m still here.” I was cooking dinner since Paige had stepped away to take a call from work. “I wouldn’t just disappear on you.”

  “Promise me. Trapped in this room, now unsure of your feelings, I feel like the one going crazy. But I think the whelp is going to be okay. Last night wasn’t as bad as the night before. I anticipate tonight being nightmare free.”

  “That’s good,” I replied. I was listening but I wasn’t focused on answering since I was trying to keep dinner from burning. Olivier was aware of my distraction and inquired about it. Before I could explain Paige came tearing down the hallway, swearing the whole way.

  “Son of a bitch!” Paige hollered when she hit the kitchen. Her enraged emotions took me by surprise and I dropped the utensils. Paige has never been one to mince words so it wasn’t the language she was using that put me on high alert but the way she was shaking uncontrollably. “Is that Olivier on t
he phone with you?” She paused for my nod then shouted, “Put him on speaker!”

  “Paige, what the hell is going on?” Panic painted Olivier’s tone. With both of them on edge, I was struggling to keep control of my own emotions.

  “They! Are! Out!” She over-enunciated each word. “Somehow those devils from the depths of hell were able to convince a judge on a Sunday that they should be released on bail!” I fell back against the stove at her confession, burning my arm on a skillet. The look on her face told me the men who’d broken into my home on Abigail’s orders with the intention of raping and killing me were no longer behind bars. Paige ran to the freezer and tossed me an ice pack. Why?! Why had this happened?! Olivier surprisingly didn’t blow. His “How?” came out with such control that I could tell it was taking every bit of his strength not to bring attention to himself in Tristan’s hotel room. “They got Coughlin as their defense attorney. If you’re scum, sleaze, or filth, he’s the guy you want. But he’s crazy expensive and he only takes cases he can win.” That was not a confidence building statement then for the case against them, and my bewildered eyes locked on her furious ones.

  “Celinda!” Olivier yelled. “It has to be Celinda. Charlotte got Abigail to admit that she’d ordered the attack but I’d bet my life she was actually acting on Celinda’s directives.” The insight seemed to grip us all. Then he remembered me. “Charlotte! Damn it! Paige, is she okay?”

  “I think so,” Paige hedged with lowered volume but no less fury. “She’s still standing but she burned her arm on the stove.” Yeah, I wasn’t okay. Other than the nightmare after the convention party, I hadn’t suffered from my demons in a little over a month but the thought that they were out on the streets ripped my hard won sanctuary to shreds. I’d always thought most of my sanity was built on the knowledge that they were behind bars and I’d never come across them again outside of a courtroom. This whole development was proof I’d been correct. Paige must have picked up on this too. “I think you’re now more needed here, Olivier. That or you need to bring Wesley in tow.”