by Isobel Bird
The waiter came to take their order, so Kate had a minute to take in what Tyler had said as he ordered a cheeseburger with mushrooms and jalape©tilde;o peppers. She tried picturing him dressed in his Catholic school uniform, but the image just wasn’t right. All she could picture was how he had looked calling the directions at the Spring Equinox ritual.
“And what can I get for you?” the waiter asked, snapping her out of her daydream.
“Oh—um—a hamburger with bacon, lettuce, and tomato, please,” Kate said. “And a mint chocolate milk shake.”
“Make that two shakes,” Tyler said. “I hear I shouldn’t miss that.”
“Coming right up,” the waiter responded, taking their menus and leaving.
“My parents would totally freak out if they knew about me and Wicca,” Kate said. “They nearly had kittens when I had my ears pierced without telling them. If I became a witch, it would be the end.”
“Most people just don’t understand it,” Tyler said. “They think we all run around dressed in black hats and putting curses on people.”
There was a pause as the waiter returned with their orders. Kate took a bite of her hamburger and watched as Tyler tried his. He chewed a mouthful and then gave her a thumbs-up.
“Excellent,” he said. “Sometimes I forget what real meat tastes like. Mom is into textured vegetable protein and tofu hot dogs. They’re good, but it’s just not the same. So, are you going to become a witch?”
Kate choked on her mouthful of food. Tyler’s question was unexpected. She swallowed, clearing her throat, and took a long drink of her shake.
“I don’t know yet,” she said. “It’s a big step.”
“How did you get interested in Wicca anyway?” Tyler asked.
Kate paused. She didn’t know what she should tell him. She didn’t want to get into the whole story about Scott, the spell, and everything that had happened afterward. That would mean explaining what had happened more recently between her and Scott, and she definitely didn’t want to bring that up.
“I checked out a book on witchcraft from the school library,” Kate said. “I thought it was interesting, and I noticed that Annie and Cooper had also checked it out. I went to talk to them, and we just kind of became friends.”
Okay, she thought, so it was the edited version of the story. It was basically the truth. Tyler didn’t really need to know all of the grisly details. Especially not the part about her screwing up the spell and having to fix things.
“Your friends seem really great,” he said. “What about Sasha, though? You don’t seem to be as close to her.”
“She’s sort of new to our group,” Kate explained. “Her family just moved here. I guess she heard about the ritual and showed up. I don’t know much about her. Why, does she seem strange to you?”
“Not strange, exactly,” Tyler said. “She’s what some people call a ‘Buffy witch.’”
“What’s that?” asked Kate. “I’ve never heard anyone say that.”
Tyler laughed. “It’s sort of a joke,” he said. “It means someone who has watched too many episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and thinks witches are all about making supernatural things happen. They like to dress up in weird costumes and hold elaborate rituals, but they don’t really understand what witchcraft is.”
“So you don’t think she can actually do magic?” Kate asked.
“I didn’t say that,” Tyler said. “A lot of people can do magic who maybe shouldn’t be doing it. You don’t have to understand something to use it.”
Kate had to agree with him about that. She hadn’t had any idea what magic could do when she’d tried her first spell. But she’d learned her lesson quickly, and she was trying her best to figure out what it was all about before she did any more.
“What was your first spell?” Kate asked.
Tyler snorted. “I tried to turn my sister into a frog,” he said.
“Get out,” Kate said. “You did not.”
“I swear,” Tyler said. “I was about four years old. I had no idea what I was doing. I just made up all of this mumbo jumbo and told her she was going to turn into a frog by midnight. A couple of hours later she started hopping around the house, sticking her tongue out and asking for flies. I really thought I had done it, and I was scared to death. I begged my mother to turn her back again. But of course she was just teasing me.”
“Okay, what was the first real spell you did?” Kate asked.
“I did a spell to get my parents back together,” Tyler said, sounding serious.
“And?” asked Kate.
“And it didn’t work,” he said. “At least, not the way I wanted it to. They ended up deciding that we would all take a vacation together at this cabin in the woods to celebrate my birthday, even though my parents had barely spoken since their divorce. Of course, they ended up getting into a huge fight, and everything was even worse than it had been. I was really angry and didn’t understand why it had happened that way. I thought I must have done something wrong. But I couldn’t tell my mother what I’d done. I knew she’d be mad. So I told one of the other women in the coven. She explained to me that I’d tried to do magic to get something that I wanted, not something that was necessarily supposed to happen. So I kind of got what I asked for—my parents got together, but only for that weekend. And it was a disaster. I learned a big lesson from that.”
Kate had finished her burger and was picking at her fries thinking about how comfortable she felt listening to Tyler talk about his life and about his experiences with Wicca. She could never talk that way with Scott, who wouldn’t understand the first thing about her interest in witchcraft. At first she had been afraid that no guy would want to go out with her if she was open about what she was doing. But now she was sitting with someone who not only understood it but had more experience with it than she did herself.
What would it be like to have a Wiccan boyfriend? She tried to imagine going to rituals with someone who understood what they were about, or talking with someone about spells she wanted to try. Would it be too weird? Or would it be like any two people who were dating and who shared common interests?
“Do you want to go for a walk?” Tyler asked her, interrupting her thoughts.
“Sure,” Kate said. “How about the beach?”
She hadn’t been to the beach since her breakup with Scott the week before. For some reason that now seemed like a lifetime ago, although she didn’t know why. Was she really already over him? Or was she just trying to convince herself of that? She really didn’t know for sure.
She and Tyler walked down the steep wooden stairs to the beach, then walked along the edge where the water rushed up onto the sand. As the waves came in, they waited until the last minute and jumped out of the way, laughing.
“Wait until Beltane,” Tyler told Kate. “The coven holds this big ritual where everyone ends up jumping into the waves at the end. Then there’s a big bonfire on the beach and we drum and chant all night. Some people even jump over the fire. It’s really amazing.”
“Right out on the beach?” Kate said, surprised. “Doesn’t anyone complain?”
“One of the coven members has a house on the ocean,” Tyler explained. “It’s a private beach, so we don’t have to worry about that.”
“It sounds like fun,” Kate said.
“Then you’ll have to come,” Tyler said.
“It’s a date,” Kate replied.
A big wave came in and Tyler jumped back, pulling Kate with him. She stumbled into his arms, and the next thing she knew his face was only inches away from hers. Even in the darkness she could see the light reflected in his eyes.
He’s going to kiss me, she thought breathlessly, and opened her mouth. But as Tyler leaned toward her, she saw the outline of the giant boulder where she and Scott had broken up. She remembered the first time he had kissed her, and she pulled away from Tyler.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I just can’t.”
“Did I do something
wrong?” Tyler asked, sounding bewildered.
“No,” Kate said. “No, you didn’t. I just can’t, that’s all.”
She looked at Tyler standing in the moonlight. She wanted to rewind her life to thirty seconds before, when she was looking into his face and knowing he was about to kiss her. But she couldn’t. Part of her was still with Scott, and that part of her wouldn’t let her kiss Tyler.
“I should go,” she said. “I know this sounds weird; I really did have a great time. But I just can’t do this right now.”
Before Tyler could say anything, she started walking toward the steps and the bus that would take her home.
Chapter 10
The library was almost empty when Kate arrived on Saturday morning. A few students wearing Jasper College jackets were sitting at a table with notebooks spread out in front of them, but otherwise the place was deserted.
They’re probably all still sleeping in, Kate thought as she looked for Sasha. She herself would probably still be in bed, too, if Sasha hadn’t asked her if they could meet as early as possible so that Kate could help her with an assignment for English class. They were supposed to be doing a report on an American writer, and Sasha was having trouble getting her material organized. Kate had suggested that they meet at the house where Sasha was staying, but Sasha had suggested the library instead.
“But why did it have to be at nine o’clock on a Saturday morning?” Kate sighed. She’d been all over the library, and there was no sign of Sasha.
“Hey there,” she heard Sasha call just as she was about to give up and go home. Sasha was walking in, wearing the familiar blue jacket and carrying her backpack, which seemed even more overstuffed than usual.
“What did you do, bring everything you own?” Kate joked.
“I have some stuff to do later,” Sasha said. “It’s easier than going back and forth. So, you ready to help me write a brilliant paper?”
“I’ll do my best,” Kate said. “Let’s find a table.”
They went to a table beneath one of the library’s big windows, where the sun made a large pool of light around them. Taking their coats off, they sat down.
“Okay,” said Kate. “Who are you doing your report on?”
“I thought I’d take your advice and do Nathaniel Hawthorne,” Sasha said. “I read The Scarlet Letter. It was nothing like the movie, but it was good. I especially like all of the witch stuff. So I thought I would see what I could dig up on old Nate.”
“That should be easy,” Kate said. “He’s one of the biggies. The library is sure to have a lot of materials.”
“Just point me to them,” Sasha said.
Kate took Sasha to one of the library’s reference computers and showed her how to look up things. Sure enough, the collection had a large number of books about Nathaniel Hawthorne and his work.
“Why don’t you go check some of those out?” Kate suggested. “See what looks good and bring it back. We can start from there. I’ve got some of my own work I can do while you’re looking up books.”
“Will do,” Sasha said. “You’re the best.”
Kate left Sasha at the computer and went back to the table. She had her own paper to work on, and she figured she might as well get some of it finished while she waited for Sasha. She’d decided to write about Carson McCullers, and had collected quite a bit of information about McCullers already so she was ready to outline her paper. She opened her notebook and started writing.
But she couldn’t concentrate. She was still thinking about what had happened with Tyler on Thursday night. She couldn’t believe that she’d pulled away from him like that. What had she been thinking? She’d wanted him to kiss her. But she had to admit that something had stopped her. Was it some kind of leftover feeling for Scott? She had barely even seen him since their breakup. Once he had come by her locker, but he just said hello and then walked away. She had tried to call him a couple of times, but every time she hung up before anyone answered, and she’d deleted all the e-mails she’d written him before they were even sent.
And why should she still have feelings for him anyway? She’d decided to be all independent and ask Tyler out, hadn’t she? If Scott thought they were better off apart, she wasn’t going to cry over it. She didn’t want to be the kind of girl who sat around waiting for some guy to realize how great she was and come back to her. At least, she didn’t think she did. But there was no reason for her not to kiss Tyler, and she still hadn’t done it. When she’d looked at the rock where she and Scott sat the night they broke up, something inside of her had frozen. She just couldn’t let herself be with Tyler. Something was going on. But what?
As she sat there alternating between thinking about her paper and thinking about her love life, she remembered Annie’s list of pros and cons. Maybe if she made another one it would help her figure out what she was really feeling. Perhaps writing out her feelings about wanting to kiss Tyler and not wanting to kiss Tyler would make everything a little more clear. Turning her notebook to a new page, she started to make two columns. But her pen had run out of ink, and all she could get out of it was a faint line.
“Perfect,” she said, slamming the pen down on the table. Now what was she going to do? Then she spied Sasha’s backpack resting on the floor by her chair. Surely, Sasha would have an extra pen in there.
Kate leaned over and picked up the backpack. It was surprisingly heavy. She sat it on her lap and unzipped it. Inside there were all kinds of clothes and papers, all bunched up and shoved in with no rhyme or reason. Sasha apparently kept just about everything she owned in the pack.
Kate stuck her hand in and rummaged around, looking for a pen. As she pushed her hand deeper inside, she felt a thick book in the way. She pulled it out so that she could see what was underneath.
Kate was surprised to see that the book was Spells and Charms for the Modern Witch, the same book she had first found in the school library. But why did Sasha have a copy of it? Kate flipped open the front cover, and there she saw Annie’s name written in her small, precise handwriting. Sasha had taken the book from Annie’s room. That’s why Annie had been unable to find it. But why? What would Sasha want with that book?
Kate opened the backpack again and searched further. As she rooted around in the bag, she felt a strangely shaped object beneath her fingers. Grabbing whatever it was, she pulled it out.
It was a doll. It looked like some kind of old Barbie, only its hair was brown instead of blond, and most of the paint had worn off its face. It was wearing a faded blue dress, and only one of its feet had a shoe on it. It looked like something that someone had thrown away and someone else had picked out of the garbage.
But that wasn’t the strangest thing. Wrapped around the doll in a haphazard way was a red ribbon, circling the doll’s body from its feet to its neck. When Kate saw it, her blood ran cold. It looked just like the doll she had made when she’d tried to get Scott to fall in love with her using magic.
Only this was a girl doll. Kate wasn’t sure who it was supposed to represent, but she knew what it was for, and that was bad enough. Sasha was trying to do a spell. But for what? And involving who? Kate didn’t know. But she knew that bound to the doll by the ribbon there would be a paper heart. Kate also knew that there would be a name written on the heart—the name of the person Sasha was trying to make fall in love with whomever the doll represented. She just wasn’t sure she wanted to see whose name it was. Something about the doll made her terribly afraid.
But she knew that she had to look. Moving apart some of the red ribbon, she found the edge of the paper heart and pulled. The paper came away easily, slipping out from underneath the ribbon. Sasha had used plain old notebook paper instead of red construction paper, but she had still cut it out in the correct shape. Kate unfolded the heart and forced herself to look at it. Scott’s name was written there in blue pen.
Kate knew then who the doll was supposed to be. It was Sasha. She was trying to use the “Come to Me Love Spell” to get S
cott to fall for her.
But why? Kate wondered. Why would Sasha do such a thing? She knew all about Kate’s own ill-fated attempt at doing the spell. Why would she try it herself? And why would she try to do it to Kate’s boyfriend?
Ex-boyfriend, a voice in Kate’s head reminded her. Scott had dumped her.
Almost immediately, Kate started to think. When had the book disappeared from Annie’s room? She counted back. Annie had noticed it was missing on Friday, but Sasha had been in the house on Wednesday. And she had rushed out very suddenly. Had she taken the book then? She must have.
Kate thought some more. Scott had broken up with her on Friday night. That was two days after Sasha stole the book. It didn’t take Kate long to do the math and come to a conclusion. She must have done the spell on Wednesday or Thursday, Kate thought. That’s why Scott acted so cold. That’s why we broke up!
That still didn’t answer the question of why Sasha had done it at all. Had she wanted Scott to break up with Kate? Apparently so. But she had seemed so friendly, and Kate was going out of her way to help her with her paper. Why would Sasha want to do that to someone who had only been her friend? Kate didn’t understand.
“I found some stuff,” she heard Sasha say, and looked up. Sasha was walking towards her, her arms filled with books. “I couldn’t decide which ones were the best, so I brought them all. We can—”
She stopped talking when she saw Kate holding the doll in her hand.
“What is this?” Kate asked, holding up the doll in one hand and the heart with Scott’s name written on it in the other. “What are you doing?”
Sasha dropped the books on the table. She opened her mouth to say something, then stopped. Finally she spoke. “What were you doing looking in my bag?” she asked angrily.
“I was looking for a pen,” Kate said. “Now, tell me what this stuff is.”
“I was just fooling around,” Sasha said, not looking at Kate. “You had talked about your spell, and it sounded sort of cool. I was just playing around, that’s all.”