by Isobel Bird
“This is supposed to be you, isn’t it?” Kate said, her voice even and flat.
Sasha didn’t answer her.
“Isn’t it?” Kate said, a little more loudly.
Sasha looked around. “Not so loud, okay? Yes, it’s supposed to be me.”
“And you were trying to get my boyfriend to fall in love with you,” Kate continued. “Why? Why would you do that?”
Sasha shrugged. “Why did you do it?” she said. “For fun, I guess. To see if I could. I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?” said Kate. “What do you mean you don’t know? You just thought it would be fun to see if you could get him to break up with me?”
“I didn’t know that was going to happen!” Sasha said. “I didn’t know what would happen. It’s not my fault my spell worked when yours didn’t.”
“Yeah, well, yours doesn’t seem to have worked, either,” Kate said with venom in her voice. “I don’t see Scott with you.”
She and Sasha stared at one another. Kate felt like throwing the doll at her. Her whole body was shaking with anger.
“Haven’t you been listening at all in class?” she said. “Or to what Annie, Cooper, and I have been saying? This isn’t what magic is for. You’ve really screwed things up.”
“I don’t know why you’re so upset,” Sasha said. “Cooper and Annie didn’t think Scott was good enough for you anyway. And now you’ve got Tyler.”
“I suppose you did some spell to make him fall for me,” Kate said bitterly.
Sasha gave a short laugh. “No, you did that all by yourself,” she said. “And you didn’t seem to waste any time doing it, either.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Kate asked.
“It means that if you thought Scott was so great, why did you let him go so easily?” Sasha shot back.
Kate didn’t have an answer for her. This only made her madder. She just sat there, glaring at Sasha and wishing there was something she could do to hurt her, to make her feel the way Kate was feeling inside—miserable and frustrated.
“You have everything,” Sasha said suddenly. “Great friends. A great family. And two guys interested in you. What difference does it make if I have one of them?”
Kate was dumbstruck. She couldn’t believe what Sasha was saying. “You mean you did this because you’re jealous of me?” she said.
Sasha bit her lip. Her chin trembled as if she was trying hard not to cry. A tear slipped from her eye and she wiped it away quickly, before it ran down her cheek.
“I just wanted to be a little bit like you,” Sasha said. “I thought maybe this would do it.”
Kate was still furious, but she calmed down a little bit as she watched Sasha trying to control herself. She motioned for Sasha to come sit next to her, and the other girl slumped into a chair.
“You can’t be like someone else by taking what she has,” Kate said. “You have to be who you are all on your own.”
“The spell seemed so easy,” Sasha said. “I remembered everything you said, and I tried to do it right. And really, at first I just did it to see if I could make it work where you didn’t. That’s why I used a doll that looked like me, instead of one that looked like Scott, the way you did. I thought that might be what you did wrong. I was going to surprise you and show you that I could do it right.”
“Some surprise,” Kate said, trying to make sense of Sasha’s story. “Taking my boyfriend away isn’t the best surprise I can think of. Did you really think I’d be happy that you did it?”
“It wasn’t supposed to go that far,” Sasha said. “I just wanted Scott to pay some attention to me. Then I was going to reverse the spell, once you all saw that I could pull it off. I didn’t think you’d actually break up.”
Kate sighed. “Why not?” she said. “That spell has a mind of its own. Maybe he really only did like me in the first place because I did it, and then when you did it the magic decided that my fun was over. Maybe this was supposed to happen.”
Sasha wiped her eyes and grabbed Kate’s hand. “Oh, Kate,” she said. “I really am sorry. I didn’t mean for anything really bad to happen. You have to believe me.”
Kate looked at her. “In a strange way, I do believe you,” she said. “I didn’t mean to cause any trouble when I did the spell either.” She was thinking about Terri Fletcher, the girl Scott was supposed to go to the Valentine’s Day dance with before Kate did the spell that made him ask her instead. Terri had been devastated when Scott broke their date. But at the time, Kate hadn’t cared. She’d only been interested in getting Scott for herself.
“Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?” Sasha asked. “Really, I’ll do whatever I can.”
“You can start by getting rid of this,” Kate said, waving the doll at her. “That might help. But I don’t think you can do anything to change what’s happened between me and Scott. More and more, I think this is what was supposed to happen. You just helped it along a little.”
Sasha took the doll from Kate. Taking one end of the ribbon, she unwound it and crumpled the length of ribbon in her hand. “There,” she said. “That’s that.”
“It’s not that easy,” Kate said. “Believe me. But it’s a start.”
Sasha gave a weak smile and put the doll back into her backpack. “I’ll work on the rest later,” she said. “Can you forgive me?”
“It won’t do me much good to be mad,” Kate said. “But promise me one thing?”
“Anything,” Sasha said.
“Keep your hands off my Ken doll when you come to my house.”
Chapter 11
“She did what?” Cooper exploded.
Kate was standing at her locker with Annie and Cooper on Monday morning. She’d just finished telling them about what Sasha had done with the doll.
“I can’t believe you waited this long to tell us,” Cooper said. “And I can’t believe you didn’t wring her neck.”
“What would be the point?” Kate sighed. “It wouldn’t change anything.”
“You’re taking this awfully well,” Annie said. “What gives?”
Kate leaned against her locker. “I don’t know,” she said. “I mean, I was really angry at her when I found out. But I don’t think she did it to be malicious. And there’s a part of me that thinks maybe this would have happened anyway.”
“I think you’re nuts,” Cooper said. “I told you guys there was something weird about that girl.”
“No, you didn’t,” Annie reminded her friend. “Kate did.”
Cooper chewed her gum sullenly. “Well, I thought it,” she said. “I just didn’t want to be mean.”
The other two rolled their eyes at her. Kate picked up her backpack and they started walking to class.
“Don’t say anything to Sasha, okay?” Kate said. “I told her I wouldn’t tell you guys and make a big deal out of this.”
“It’s going to be kind of hard to pretend we don’t know,” Annie said.
“Well, try,” Kate said. “Starting now. Here she comes.”
Sasha came jogging towards them, her backpack swinging from her arm. “Hey, guys,” she said.
“Hey,” Annie said. Cooper just nodded.
“Thanks again for helping me with my paper on Saturday, Kate,” Sasha said. “It really helped.”
“No problem,” Kate said, trying to sound normal but feeling anything but.
“I’ve got to run,” Sasha said. “But I’ll catch you guys later.”
As Sasha ran off, Sherrie, Jessica, and Tara appeared from around the corner.
“Graces alert,” Cooper said. “This is my cue to leave.”
“I’m right behind you,” Annie said. “Later, Kate.”
Kate waved good-bye as one set of her friends left and the other arrived, like trains passing in a station.
“Kate,” Sherrie said eagerly, “we’ve got to talk to you.”
Kate knew that something must be up, because Sherrie hadn’t made any nasty comments about C
ooper and Annie, as she always did when she saw them.
“What’s up?” Kate asked.
“Just the biggest piece of news ever,” Tara said.
“Excuse me,” Sherrie said, holding up her hand. “This is my moment here.”
Tara backed off, and Sherrie turned to Kate again. “Guess what I saw last night?” she asked.
Kate shook her head. “I have no idea,” she answered. “Ricky Martin having dinner at the Crab Pot?”
“Better,” Jessica said, unable to contain her excitement.
“Sasha,” Tara added impulsively.
Sherrie shot them both looks that made them put their hands over their mouths, silently promising to not say another word.
“Sasha and Ricky Martin at the Crab Pot?” Kate said, joking. “Come on, guys. What’s the big deal about seeing Sasha?”
“It wasn’t just Sasha,” Sherrie said, clearly leading up to her big announcement. “It was Sasha and Scott.”
“Your Scott,” Jessica added, as if Kate didn’t know who Sherrie meant.
“You saw Sasha and Scott together?” Kate said, bewildered. “Last night?”
Sherrie nodded. “They were at the Frozen Cow, sitting at one of the tables in the back. I walked by and saw them. They looked awfully cozy. Sasha was laughing a lot, and Scott seemed very interested in whatever it was she had to say to him.”
“And you’re sure it was them?” Kate pressed.
“Please,” said Sherrie, sounding offended. “It’s not like there’s that many big, blue-eyed football players and little skinny girls in blue jackets running around town. Yes, it was them.”
Kate didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t believe that after everything that had happened, Sasha would go out with Scott. She’d seemed so sincere about how sorry she was for causing the trouble between him and Kate. But then she had turned around and gone on a date with him?
“Cooper was right,” Kate said. “She is trouble.”
“What was that?” Sherrie asked.
Kate looked up, remembering where she was and who she was talking to. “Nothing,” she said. “Look, guys, thanks for telling me about this. I’ve got to go.”
Kate turned and ran down the hall. Sherrie called out for her to come back, but Kate knew that she had to do what she needed to do right away, before she changed her mind. She raced up the stairs and headed for the chemistry lab.
Sasha was sitting in her seat a few rows behind Kate’s seat. She had her notebook open, and she was reading over some notes. Kate walked up to her and stood with her arms crossed, her heart beating and her body almost shaking.
“Hey,” Sasha said, looking up.
“Did you have fun on your date with Scott last night?” Kate hissed.
Sasha’s face fell, and she looked frightened. “Kate, wait. I can explain that,” she said.
“Right,” Kate snapped. “Just like you could explain the doll in your backpack with that stupid story about just wanting to fit in. I bet you were really proud of yourself, having me all fooled into feeling sorry for you.”
“It wasn’t a story,” Sasha said. “If you would just let me tell you what I was doing.”
“Don’t bother,” Kate snapped. “Just listen, and listen good. I was willing to give you a second chance after what you did. I believed you when you said you didn’t mean to cause any trouble. And then, as soon as I’m gone, you start going out with Scott.”
“Kate—“ Sasha began.
“Forget it,” Kate said, cutting her off. “I’m through with you. You were right—you can’t fix what you did. But you can stay out of my way. And I suggest you do.”
She turned and stormed over to her seat. The bell had just rung, and students were pouring into the room. Annie walked by Kate on her way to her seat in the next row.
“What did the Graces do to put that look on your face?” she asked.
“It wasn’t them,” Kate said sharply. “It was Sasha. I’ll tell you later.”
Kate didn’t hear a thing Miss Blackwood said during class. She was too angry to listen. All she could think about was how Sasha had tricked her and how stupid she’d been for thinking that maybe everything with Scott had really been an accident—or even her own fault. Now she knew the truth, and she wasn’t going to be fooled again.
After class Kate left quickly, before Sasha could try to talk to her and tell her any more lies. Annie ran after her, jogging to keep up with Kate’s furious pace. As she stormed through the halls, Kate told Annie about Sasha and Scott.
“You’re sure Sherrie isn’t just making it up?” Annie asked.
Kate shook her head. “Sherrie’s a gossip,” she answered. “But she doesn’t make things up. I have to give her that much. Besides, after what happened with the doll, it all makes perfect sense. Sasha had this planned all along. She’d probably been waiting for the perfect moment ever since I told her about the spell I did in the first place.”
“What are you going to do?” Annie asked.
“Nothing,” Kate said. “I’m not going to do a thing. If Sasha really is playing around with spells, she’s going to get hers in the end, the same way I did. It won’t do me any good to try to make things right. Until then, I’m just going to ignore her.”
For two days, that’s exactly what Kate did. She barely saw Sasha all day Monday or Tuesday. Even when they had classes together, she made sure she never looked at Sasha or acknowledged her. She just pretended that Sasha wasn’t there. Sasha seemed to get the hint. She didn’t try to sit with Kate, Sherrie, Tara, and Jessica at lunch, and she stayed away from Cooper and Annie as well. The few times Kate actually caught a glimpse of her, she seemed miserable, which made Kate feel satisfied. If she had to be unhappy, she wanted Sasha to suffer too.
It wasn’t until Tuesday night, when they all went to Crones’ Circle for their final class, that she had to be in close proximity to the girl she now considered her biggest enemy. She was almost surprised that Sasha even showed up. She’d expected her to be too ashamed to show her face.
“This is our final class,” Rowan reminded them as class began. “Next week, for those who choose to participate, we’ll be holding the dedication ceremony. I won’t ask you until the end of class tonight if you want to take part in that or not. First we’re going to talk about our last topic. One of the things that is very important to many witches is community—the people we do rituals and magic with. A coven is a community. So are our friends and families. Even solitaries—witches who practice by themselves without being in a coven—generally have other people they talk to about magical things, whether they’re friends or people they communicate with online. Take a moment and think about what kind of community you have around yourselves.”
Kate put her arms around her knees and hugged them to her chest as she thought. What kind of community was she a part of? Who were the members? Cooper and Annie definitely counted, especially when it came to Wicca. But what about Sherrie, Jessica, and Tara? She wasn’t as close to them as she used to be, but they still played a part in her life, although in a different way. Then there was her family—and the people at Crones’ Circle. All of these different groups made up her community. Yet they weren’t all part of each other’s communities. Her family didn’t know anything about her involvement in witchcraft. Her friends didn’t all like one another. She sometimes felt pulled in too many directions.
As she thought about all these things, Kate’s gaze wandered around the room, and she caught a glimpse of Sasha, who was sitting as far away from Kate, Annie, and Cooper as possible. Sasha had been part of her community for a while. But she had turned out not to be any kind of friend at all, and Kate definitely didn’t want her as part of her community. But was she part of it anyway, simply because she was in the class and attended the same school?
Kate looked away, and she saw Tyler sitting in a chair by the door. She’d avoided him when she came in because she didn’t know what to say about what had happened on their date. But could
she avoid him forever? He was definitely part of the same community she was. How was she going to deal with that?
“Okay,” Rowan said. “You’ve had a little time to think about what community means to you personally. Now we’re going to do a little exercise to show just how important that community can be. I want you all to join up with the small groups you’ve been working with for the past two classes.”
Kate groaned. The last two people she wanted to face right now were Sasha and Tyler, and she was going to be in a group with them. But she knew it would look strange if she tried to get out of it, so she stood up and reluctantly wandered over to where they were clustered around Lea.
“There are times when you’re going to need to count on the support of the community you create,” Rowan said when everyone was organized. “To illustrate this point, we’re going to do a trust exercise. Three of your group members are going to stand together. The fourth is going to stand in front of you with her or his back to the group. That person will then fall backward. It’s the job of the other three to make sure that fourth person doesn’t hit the floor. And don’t worry—you’ll each get a chance to fall.”
There was nervous laughter from the class members as they decided who in their groups would be the first one to fall. Kate looked around at the others, hoping one of them would volunteer. Finally Lea stepped forward.
“Just remember,” she said as she got into position. “These old bones aren’t as strong as they used to be.”
Kate stood beside Tyler, keeping Sasha as far away as possible. They held out their hands and waited for Lea to tumble backward. Lea took a deep breath, then let herself go. Her body fell toward the waiting hands, and then she was in their arms, supported gently on a web of fingers.
Tyler was the next to go, followed by Sasha. As she watched Sasha begin to fall, Kate was tempted to not catch her, to let her crash to the floor in a heap. It was what she deserved. But at the last second, she instinctively reached out and added her hands to those of Lea and Tyler, and Sasha was lifted safely up.