Not Until Christmas Morning (Hope Springs Book 5)

by Valerie M. Bodden

  “You too. I’ll call when I can. But don’t be worried if it’s not for a while. And in the meantime, I wouldn’t mind a prayer or two.”

  Fat chance he wouldn’t worry. Or that he’d pray. But Austin worked his face into a stoic expression and nodded.

  “And Austin?” Chad leaned closer to the camera. “I’m happy for you. And your girlfriend. Now go let her in.” The screen went blank, and Austin shook his head as a chuckle escaped. Chad always had to have the last word.

  He must have still been chuckling when he opened the door because Leah took one look at him, then peered over his shoulder. “What’s so funny?”

  “Nothing.” Austin tried to straighten his lips, but seeing her didn’t do anything to erase the smile. “I was just talking to my brother.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you had company. I can go get more food. Give me five minutes.” She turned toward the porch steps, and without thinking, Austin reached for her arm.

  “It’s just me. I was chatting with him online.” He kept his hand on her arm as she spun back toward him―maybe for a second or two longer than was necessary.

  Fine.

  Maybe Chad was right.

  Maybe he did like her.

  But so what? It wasn’t like he was going to do anything about it.

  “Where does he live?” Leah passed him the container, and he had no choice but to lift his hand from her arm to take the food.

  “Afghanistan right now.” As he did every night, he lifted the cover just enough to smell the contents. “Oh, pork.” He allowed himself another sniff. “My favorite.” He snapped the lid closed so the food wouldn’t cool while he talked to Leah. Because now that she was here, he didn’t want her to go.

  “That must be hard.” Leah stepped closer and jabbed her hands into her coat pockets. “Having a brother over there. Do you talk often?”

  “Once a week or so when we can.”

  Until last year, they’d been together every day. But he didn’t want to talk about that right now. “How’s Jackson?”

  Leah’s sigh sounded like it carried the weight of the world. Or of a mother.

  “I’ve already been to the principal’s office three times this week, and Jackson still won’t talk to me, so . . . not great.”

  “I was sure letting him keep that squirrel was going to score you points.”

  Leah lifted her hands to her mouth and blew on them. “I’m not sure anything I do could score points with him. Unless I could become you.”

  There was no bitterness behind her words, but still regret swamped Austin. For whatever reason, Jackson had taken a liking to him. Maybe the boy sensed that Austin was as broken as he was.

  “Anyway―” Leah took a step backward. “Enjoy the pork. There are some mashed potatoes and corn in there too.” She took another backward step, then turned toward the stairs.

  “Leah.”

  She stopped, but he had no idea what to say. He only knew he wasn’t ready for her to leave yet.

  But that was ridiculous. What was he going to do, ask her to stay and watch him eat the food she’d brought?

  “This smells delicious. Thanks.”

  She nodded and skipped down the steps, leaving him to eat alone.

  Again.

  Chapter 14

  This was getting ridiculous.

  Thursday night, Leah eyed the food she was about to bring to Austin.

  It wasn’t that she minded bringing him dinner. In fact, she quite enjoyed it. Sharing food with others was one of her greatest joys, and since Jackson refused to eat anything beyond peanut butter and jelly, it was nice to have someone else appreciate her cooking.

  And, fine, she enjoyed her conversations with Austin too.

  But it would make a lot more sense to enjoy those conversations over dinner, rather than standing at his door dropping off food. Plus, if he happened to come to her house to eat, maybe Jackson would emerge from his room longer than the three seconds it took him to refill Ned’s water.

  So why didn’t she just invite Austin over for dinner already? It wasn’t like he would misconstrue her invitation, especially since he’d shown zero interest in her.

  What was she afraid of? That her friends would find out and jump to conclusions?

  So what if they did?

  She was an adult. She didn’t have to be ruled by what her friends thought.

  Mind made up, she grabbed her coat and charged for the front door before she could chicken out.

  The smile Austin met her with knocked a little of the confidence out of her. This was the right thing to do, wasn’t it?

  Not that she could turn back now.

  “Hey, I didn’t bring dinner tonight,” she blurted, then gave herself an internal kick. That wasn’t exactly an invitation.

  “I see that.” Austin’s grin didn’t dim. “You know you don’t have to have food to knock on my door though, right?”

  Her laugh sounded nervous even to her own ears. “What I meant was, instead of bringing food to you, I thought it might make more sense to bring you to the food. If you want to come over. I mean, Jackson has been asking about you, and I figured that way you could kill two birds with one stone―eat and see Jackson and―”

  “Leah.”

  “Yeah?” She forced herself to stop and take a breath. Had she been babbling?

  “I’d love to come over and say hi to Jackson.”

  “Oh.” A flutter rippled through her belly, but Leah ignored it. “Okay. Good.”

  She took a step away from the door and waited for Austin to pull on his stocking cap and follow her out.

  “You look a little bit like a cat burglar in that.” She gestured to his black track pants, black sweatshirt, and black cap.

  Austin’s rich, full laugh warmed her. “I prefer ninja. Sounds tougher.”

  Leah eased into step beside him as they crossed the yard.

  See, this wasn’t weird at all.

  When they got to her front door, Austin opened it and gestured her inside.

  He followed, pulling his cap off and running a hand over his hair. “Smells delicious, as always.”

  “Ravioli tonight. And garlic bread.”

  Austin groaned and patted his flat torso. “I’m going to have to start running twice as far if you keep feeding me like this.”

  Leah highly doubted that. There was no way a guy built like Austin didn’t have a six pack.

  She strode toward the kitchen to banish the thought. “Everything will be ready in a minute. Do you want to say hi to Jackson first?”

  She directed a cooling breath toward her face as he moved down the hall toward Jackson’s room. What was her problem tonight?

  It wasn’t like she’d never had a friend who happened to be male over for dinner before.

  As she got out plates and silverware, she gave herself a strict talking to.

  It’s no big deal. You’re two friends having a meal. It’s no different than having Peyton over for dinner.

  Except Peyton didn’t have broad shoulders and mysterious, slightly haunted eyes.

  Leah huffed at herself.

  Clearly, this talking to wasn’t working.

  “Everything okay?”

  She jumped, nearly dropping the pan of noodles covered in her homemade marinara sauce.

  “Yep.” She only hoped she sounded less flustered than she felt. “Could you grab the water?” She nodded toward the pitcher on the counter.

  Austin slid past her, his warm scent washing over her. She scooted to the table and set the pan down harder than she meant to.

  “Nice oven mitts.” Austin pointed at her hands, protected by a ratty set of red and white checked mitts.

  “They were my dad’s. He always wore them when he grilled out. I should probably toss them, but I can’t make myself do it.”

  Austin nodded, and though he didn’t say anything, she could read the understanding in his eyes.

  They both took a seat, and she folded her hands
to offer a silent prayer for her food.

  Normally, she invited her guests to join in. But after the way Austin had shut down her invitation to church last Sunday and the way he’d watched the nativity play with barely disguised contempt, she decided it best to let it go.

  Silently, they each dug into their food, and for a few minutes neither of them said anything.

  Great. This was going to be just like her date with Robert.

  Not that this was a date.

  “Do you mind if I ask you something?” The question came out before she could think better of it.

  Austin’s eyes met hers, his smile slightly guarded. “Can’t promise I’ll answer. But you can always ask.”

  Leah nodded. At least he was honest. “Why didn’t you want to watch the nativity play or go to church?” If nothing else, the question should solidify that this wasn’t a date. Wasn’t that the number one rule of dating: Don’t talk about religion?

  Austin wiped his mouth with his napkin and took a long drink of water.

  She lowered her gaze to her plate, scooping another bite. He had said he might not answer. So she shouldn’t be surprised. Or disappointed.

  “I used to go to church.” His voice was flat, but when Leah looked up, she saw the conflict brewing in his eyes.

  “But you don’t anymore?”

  He shook his head and took another bite.

  “Do you mind if I ask why? Did something happen at your church or―”

  Another head shake. “Nothing like that. I just don’t believe any of it anymore.”

  “Any of it?” Leah swallowed against the sick feeling that swirled in her stomach. It broke her heart every time she learned of someone who had once believed but had fallen away.

  “Any of it.” Austin sat completely rigid, and Leah could tell the conversation was over.

  Fine. She’d let it go for now.

  But if he thought that was the last he was going to hear from her on that topic, he was wrong. What kind of friend would she be if she sat back and watched him throw away his faith?

  Their conversation turned to lighter topics, including Ned the squirrel, who had nearly doubled in size already. In spite of herself, Leah had to admit that the little critter was cute. And the way Jackson cared for the squirrel gave her hope that under the boy who got into fights at school, there was a sweet, caring young man.

  They lapsed back into silence as they finished the meal, but Leah found she didn’t mind.

  After he’d scooped the last bite off his plate, Austin studied her. “My turn to ask you a question.”

  “And do I have to answer as thoroughly as you did?” She couldn’t help the teasing note.

  Austin returned her smile. “You can be as cryptic or as open as you want.” At her nod, Austin continued, “What made you decide to become a foster mom?”

  Leah pressed her hands to the table, thinking. There were so many reasons she’d wanted to be a foster mom―how did she begin to answer that question?

  Austin apparently took her hesitation as a desire to be cryptic because he picked up his plate and moved to the sink. “You don’t have to answer.”

  “No, it’s not that. I’m just trying to figure out how to give you an answer that doesn’t take all night.”

  Austin shrugged. “I don’t have anything else to do.”

  “Okay.” Leah lifted an eyebrow and led him to the living room. They settled on opposite ends of the couch but angled toward each other.

  Leah lost track of time as she told Austin about how Dan had adopted Jade’s baby after they were married. How right around that time she’d seen a news special about the great need for foster families. How there were twenty-five thousand kids over the age of eleven waiting to be adopted from foster care, and thousands of them would likely never find a permanent home. How her heart had broken for them and she’d known this was something she could fix. That she could make a better life for at least one kid. How it wasn’t just something she wanted to do, it was something she felt called to do.

  He didn’t even roll his eyes when she told him how she’d prayed about it. How God had helped everything fall in place at just the right time so that she got this house right before she was due for the required home study.

  “Plus, I’ve always wanted kids,” she said now. “And time is kind of running out for me to have any biological children, so . . .”

  Austin leaned forward, holding out a hand to stop her. “Hold on. You can’t be more than thirty or so.”

  She laughed, not sure if she should be flattered or insulted that he’d gotten so close to her actual age. At least he’d been a couple years under instead of a couple years over with his guess.

  “Thirty-two,” she corrected.

  “That’s hardly running out of time to have kids. My friend Tanner―” But he broke off, clearing his throat. “People have kids into their forties these days.”

  “I know. But I have no plans to get married in the near―or distant―future. Which makes it a little harder.” She smoothed her hands over her jeans. She had no idea why she’d told him all of this.

  Or why he’d listened.

  “Well, for the record, I think what you’re doing is really great.” With the haunted look buried farther in the background, Austin’s eyes were warm, and she appreciated him saying it.

  She only wished she could still be so sure it was true. “I hope so.”

  The couch shifted as Austin stood. “I should get home. You probably need to get Jackson to bed.”

  Leah lurched upright. “What time is it?” A quick look at her phone confirmed it was almost nine o’clock. Had they really been talking for two hours? She pushed to her feet and walked Austin to the door.

  “Thanks for dinner.” He reached for the door handle but didn’t open it. His eyes searched her face, and he took half a step closer.

  Panic flooded Leah’s system, ringing in her ears and making spots pop in front of her eyes. Was he going to kiss her? Is that why he was looking at her like that?

  She took two steps back, then spun and fled to the kitchen. “You should take some ravioli home,” she called over her shoulder, barely able to get the words out between gasped breaths.

  In the kitchen, she forced herself to count to ten and inhale through her nose as she found a container and scooped leftover pasta into it. She was overreacting. Austin hadn’t wanted to kiss her. He’d simply been moving so he could get through the door.

  But she made sure to stay just out of arm’s reach from him as she passed him the food. His eyes lingered on hers a moment, his expression unreadable, then he said goodnight and was out the door.

  As she locked it behind him, Leah drew in another deep breath, telling herself she didn’t enjoy the subtle hint of him that still hung in the air.

  Chapter 15

  Keep going.

  This was the farthest he’d run yet, and Austin could feel his muscles starting to give out. But he was only three blocks from home. He wasn’t going to let himself quit before then. Even if his knees were screaming at him.

  He lifted an arm to mop the sweat from his brow, trying to concentrate on his breaths. His stride was different with the prosthetic than it had been before―uneven now―and it always threw his breathing off.

  He’d considered getting a running prosthetic, but he felt wrong doing that. Like it would be cheating. And he’d already cheated death. The least he could do was avoid making things easier on himself than they should be.

  Inhale, two, three, four . . .

  He lost count as his mind drifted to last night again. For the life of him, he couldn’t figure out what had possessed him. Leah had invited him over for a nice, friendly dinner―emphasis on friend―and he’d ended up almost kissing her.

  Good thing she had more sense than he did.

  He couldn’t remember the last time he’d kissed any woman, let alone one he’d known for only a week. Though it felt like he’d known her longer―like his days in Hope Springs we
re part of another life, one so far removed from his old life that he could escape it for a little while.

  Maybe that was it. That was why he wasn’t acting like himself.

  In which case, he’d better get back to being himself if he wanted to be in shape for his physical.

  No more distractions, he promised himself as he pulled up in front of his house. Even as he made the promise, though, he couldn’t keep his eyes from traveling to Leah’s house. Although it was still early afternoon, her car was in the driveway. Hopefully that didn’t mean Jackson had been suspended again.

  Maybe he should check in. Make sure everything was okay.

  That was what neighbors did, right?

  Or, it was the very definition of distraction.

  Austin forced himself to walk up his driveway. Whatever it was, she could handle it on her own. And if she needed anything, she’d ask.

  Unless he’d scared her away with that near kiss.

  As he reached his porch, Leah’s door opened, and she rushed outside. Seeing her did nothing to slow his heart rate.

  But either she didn’t notice him, or she’d chosen to ignore him. As she charged toward her car, disappointment hit Austin. She was leaving. He wouldn’t be able to talk to her even if he wanted to.

  But instead of getting into the car, she circled to the trunk and popped it open, loading bag after bag into her arms.

  Don’t get distracted.

  But he couldn’t just stand here and let her struggle with that heavy load alone.

  Ignoring the voice of common sense blaring in his head, he crossed the yard, reaching her car as she turned to go inside.

  “Oh, Austin.” She jumped, looking ready to run.

  Was it because he’d startled her? Or because he’d freaked her out last night?

  “Sorry. It looked like you could use some help.” He reached to take a few bags from her, then leaned into the trunk to lift out a red cake box tied with string. “This too?”

  She nodded and closed the trunk. “Thanks. I had no idea this was going to take so long.”

  Austin followed her toward the house. “And what is this?”

  Leah’s sigh was exasperated. “I had the brilliant idea to throw Jackson a birthday party. So I had to go shopping to get stuff for it. But I had no idea what to get him for a gift, so it took forever. I ended up with this.” She set her bags on the kitchen counter, then rummaged in one, pulling out a small box and passing it to him. “Do you think he’ll like it?”