“I remember you packing,” Kendall said, frowning. “I was so upset. Then Mom made me go to my room.”
“What happened when dad got home? What did he say?”
Kendall shrugged. “Nothing in front of me. But why didn’t you marry Tyson?”
“He was at football practice when I left. I called him later but . . .” Saffron shook her head. “Wait, how did you know I didn’t marry him?” Kendall had been too young to know anyone at the high school, and their families didn’t move in the same social circles.
“Because I ran into him last month when my boyfriend applied to do some work for him. I didn’t know who he was, but he recognized my name, and we pieced it together.”
“He’s still in town?” Saffron’s heart beat in an uneven rhythm.
“Back in town, I think. His dad’s sick, and he’s helping take care of him. Tyson’s done a complete remodeling of the house—that’s what my boyfriend’s been helping with. In fact, I think I’m the only reason he gave Joel the job. They’re almost finished.”
“I’m assuming Joel is your boyfriend, but does that mean Tyson’s a contractor?”
Kendall laughed. “No. He’s a doctor. But he’s doing the house himself—or a lot of it. Joel’s just helping out with the work.”
A doctor. That seemed more like the Tyson she’d known. In high school he’d been fascinated with the biological sciences. Though he’d planned to enter the army like his dad, Saffron had told him more than once that he should go into the medical field. Her mother had predicted he’d go nowhere, and there was a distinct irony in how wrong she’d been.
“So how long have you been dating Joel?” she asked Kendall.
Kendall smiled and her eyes sparkled. “A year—all my senior year in high school. And he’s absolutely perfect, but Mom . . .”
Saffron’s stomach tensed. “Let me guess. She doesn’t like him.”
“Well that, and she wants me to finish college. But I hate college, or at least all the classes I’m taking. It’s only been a month, but it’s awful. Interior design isn’t my thing. Joel says I should do what I want.” Kendall leaned forward, turning on her phone. “See, this is him. Isn’t he gorgeous?”
She thrust out the phone to show Saffron a picture of a thin young man with longish hair and a wispy goatee. Saffron wasn’t sure if it was the look in the man’s eyes or the possessive way he was holding onto Kendall, but something about him made her uneasy.
Saffron wasn’t about to say that to Kendall, of course—at least not until she’d met Joel and gotten to know him a little better. Her experience with the abandoned or troubled girls at Lily’s House had shown her that in many instances appearances were absolutely wrong. “So you really like him?”
“I love him,” Kendall corrected. “And I can’t wait to be with him, even if Mom hates the idea.”
“Oh, yeah? What’s the rush?” Saffron was not taking her mother’s side on this. She was taking Lily’s, who always urged her girls to get a good start on their education and have their plans in place before they became serious with anyone. Even the few pregnant teens who had come through Lily’s House had received career counseling before they got married. She wanted them to live their dreams—not someone else’s—and to find someone whose dreams complemented their own.
“Because I’m pregnant.” Kendall paused after the announcement, her stare a little defiant. “That’s why I’m so glad you’re here. I need someone to be with me when I tell her about the baby. Someone who’ll help me stand up for myself. And I’m pretty sure that once I tell Mom, she’s going to kick me out.”
A sense of déjà vu fell over Saffron, and she had to stifle the urge to cover her ears. Pregnant. Pregnant. Pregnant. The word reverberated inside her head as it had when Saffron had discovered her own expectant condition.
“You’re shocked, aren’t you?” Kendall lifted her chin, her jaw clenching.
“Yeah, a little,” Saffron managed to say.
As the impact of the words wore off, Saffron felt a brief sliver of jealousy crawl up from some dark place inside her. If only she could go back to the day when she’d taken the test. She’d still leave home, but she’d go straight to Lily, who would help her get the care she needed to save her baby. Her mother may have deserted her. Tyson may have deserted her. But Lily was a constant, like the ocean or a mountain, and she would have saved Saffron’s child.
Saffron pushed the yearning back inside its hole. “Wow, that’s big,” she murmured.
“I know, and I’ve been feeling so alone.” Kendall’s brow furrowed and her frown was back. “Then you told me you were coming down and I knew it was fate. You came back just in time—I really need you.”
Did that redeem her then? Saffron wondered. She reached for her sister’s hand. “I’m here for you,” she said, answering the question underlying her sister’s words. “I don’t know how good I’ll be with Mom, because quite frankly she still scares me, but I can be with you when you tell her.” More hesitantly, she asked, “So what does Joel say?”
“That we’ll get married.” Kendall’s smile was back. “He’s excited for the baby. He just needs another month to get things together so we can figure out where we’re going to live. Right now he’s crashing at a friend’s. Mom’s got all that room, but there’s no way . . .” She shrugged. “You know how she is.”
Saffron didn’t, not anymore, but she could guess. “How far along are you?”
“Three and a half months.” Kendall sighed. “I didn’t mean for it to happen, and I know I was stupid, but now that it has, I’m so excited. I can’t wait to have a little baby to love.”
Saffron remembered that feeling, and how excited she’d been to tell Tyson the test was positive. Like Kendall, she understood that she’d been stupid, but at the same time she’d been filled with hope for the life she’d make with Tyson.
Grief grew inside her again, and for a long minute, Saffron struggled with her emotions. Somehow she had to be able to think about the past—and the future—without the grief and longing taking over her like this. She would be an aunt to this baby, and someday she wanted to have her own, and that meant she needed to put the past behind her.
“Are you okay?” Kendall asked.
Saffron forced a nod. “I’m excited about your baby. It just brings up a lot of memories.”
“I bet.” Kendall was quiet a moment before adding, “I can’t believe I never knew that’s why you left. I think maybe I wouldn’t have been so angry at you.”
Saffron’s tears fell then, dripping down both cheeks. It was safer to cry for what she and Kendall had lost than for her baby and for Tyson. “I’m here now, and we’ll work things out, somehow.”
“When will we tell her?” At that moment, Kendall again reminded Saffron of her child self. So young and vulnerable.
“Whenever you’re ready. It’s your decision.”
Kendall nodded, but the crease in her forehead didn’t smooth. She was about to speak when her phone lit up with a text. She stood as she read it, reaching for her car keys. “Look, do you think we could get together later tonight? I need to go pick up Joel from work. He was supposed to be off already, but they were trying to put in a wheelchair ramp.”
“He doesn’t have a car?”
“Yeah, but it’s not running at the moment. Anyway, I can’t wait for you to meet him. You’re going to love him.”
“I’m sure I will.”
As they walked to the door, a thought occurred to Saffron. “You’re picking him up at Tyson’s. Is he going to be there?” The thought of seeing him both thrilled and terrified her.
“He should be. They mostly work on evenings or Fridays and Saturdays because that’s when Tyson’s off and can supervise.” Kendall stopped at the door and cocked her head, a slight grimace marring her features. “I guess you’ll want to see Tyson, huh? I forgot to tell you he has a girlfriend. According to his mother, the only thing really stopping him from proposing are the repairs a
nd his dad’s illness.”
“I see.” The news wasn’t surprising after all these years, but it felt unfair. Almost as if Tyson had abandoned her yesterday instead of eight and a half years ago. What was this woman like who had won his heart?
Kendall hugged her. “Sorry for the way I acted when I got here. I am happy to see you but . . .”
“I know.” Saffron held on tight. Now that she had Kendall back, she wasn’t letting her go. She had Vaughn to thank that she was here right now, and even if she was still mad at him, she’d make a point to let him know.
6
Saturday evening, Vaughn was surprised to see a text from Saffron. He’d been wondering if she’d bother to let him know that she’d arrived safely in California, but he hadn’t requested it, knowing she was upset with him. Besides, he knew her foster mother well enough to know she’d probably checked in with the girls several times during the trip. He hadn’t even tracked the GPS location of his car, though he was considering doing so when the text came in.
So apparently my dad is dead, she wrote.
He nearly dropped his phone. That wasn’t at all the text he’d expected. He hurried to answer: What? How? When? I’m really sorry.
I didn’t really know him, she answered. He died about six months after I left home. Heart attack.
All this was more about her family than she’d shared with him in the year he’d known her. He shut his laptop, hiding the simple animations he was grading for a class. Stretching out on his couch, he hit the call icon for Saffron’s number.
She answered immediately. “Hi.”
Her voice didn’t sound like she’d been crying, but there was a distant tone that reminded him of how she’d been last night when he’d ended things. Shock, he supposed, but at least she was talking to him. “So you met your sister? How’d she look?”
“She looked great, but she’s eighteen and pregnant.”
“Oh, wow.”
“She says she’s going to marry the father, but . . . well, I haven’t met him yet, so I don’t have an opinion, but eighteen is really young.”
“For most people, maybe.” His own parents had married out of high school and had his sister ten months later.
“Yeah, you’re right.” She sounded relieved. “It might work out. She seems really in love.”
Silence. Was there more? Because she wasn’t hanging up. “How was the drive?” he asked in an effort to keep her on the line.
“Good. The GPS took us right here. We had a bit of a delay because of a fender-bender in front of us, but we still made good time. I made up the lost time by driving really fast.”
“I bet you did.” He laughed to show her he didn’t care. Well, not much anyway.
“Ha ha. Look, I wanted to thank you for lending me your car. Mine would have been fine, but it made Lily happy.”
“Anything for Lily.”
“You’re grading programs again tonight, aren’t you?”
“How did you know?”
“That’s what you always do when you aren’t taking people rafting or . . .” She trailed off.
Or spending time with her. He was glad she didn’t say it. “Let me know if you need me to bring anything when I come down with your car.”
“And when is that?”
“Well, fixing the car should only take a day or so, but I’m not sure when I can get away from work. Might not be until Friday. Would that work?”
“Not exactly. Halla has a test on Wednesday that she can’t miss, but it doesn’t look like you’ll be coming down before then.”
“She can use my car to drive back for the test, if she needs to. Not a big deal.” That meant he’d have to figure out how to get himself back to Phoenix after dropping off Saffron’s car, but he wouldn’t worry about it now. He could always fly.
“That’s nice of you.”
“Have you seen your mother?” It was safer than asking what he really wanted to know—if she’d seen the man her sisters had talked about. The man he didn’t know but wanted to kick into the past where he should have stayed.
“Not yet.”
He didn’t miss the slight tremble in her voice. The same emotion she’d displayed when she’d told him about the abuse her foster sisters had experienced as children. What had Saffron endured? He wanted to ask, but he didn’t want to push her any further away. He had won a small victory just in the fact that she’d contacted him. “You want me to come down and see her with you? I will if you want.”
She laughed. “Thanks for the offer, but I can handle her. I’m not looking forward to it, but I can do it.”
“I know you can, but should you? I guess that’s what I’m saying. Think about it. Anyway, I’m glad Halla is there with you.”
“Me too.” A long pause. “Well, I’d better go. I’m meeting my sister again tonight for a late dinner. Oh, and Vaughn?”
“Yes.”
“Thank you. For the car . . . and for everything.”
For everything what? he wanted to say. For pushing you away? For not telling you that I’d wait for as long as it took if there was even a slight chance? “You’re welcome. I’m here if you need me.”
“Thanks. Talk to you later.”
“Later.”
She hung up and he stared up at the ceiling. She’d texted him with personal information. She’d reached out to him. He hoped that meant something because being away from her was already killing him.
Saffron hung up the phone, feeling oddly better after talking to Vaughn. Maybe this being friends thing wasn’t such a bad idea. The pressure she used to feel when he talked about his family or the future no longer existed. Thanks to Halla and Elsie, he knew about her coming here to find a man from her past, and he hadn’t challenged her on it. She’d told him about her sister and father. It was freeing.
She glanced over at Halla, who had already listened to her rundown on her talk with Kendall right before Saffron had decided to text Vaughn. Halla was staring at her from the table with a thoughtful expression. “What?” Saffron asked.
“I find it interesting that you talked to Vaughn when you were barely civil to him this morning. You talked to him before Lily, before Elsie or the others. In fact, you barely explained to me what happened before you called him.”
“He called me.”
Halla rolled her eyes. “You know what I mean. You texted him first.”
She had a point. “Well, I hadn’t told him we’d gotten here safely. Or gotten his car here safely.”
“Uh-huh, right.” Halla didn’t look impressed.
“Besides, you heard me—I wanted to thank him. I wouldn’t be here for Kendall if he hadn’t . . .”
“Broken up with you and made you cry?”
There was that. Saffron scowled. “I wasn’t crying for him. Anyway, at least now I don’t have to worry about disappointing him like I always did when he’d ask me to go see his family.”
“Only because he won’t be asking you. But it’s something, I suppose. So when are you going to see Tyson? If he’s practically engaged, that changes things.” Halla came to sit next to her on one of the queen beds.
Saffron wasn’t sure. She still needed to talk to Tyson, but that seemed even more frightening than confronting her mother. She wished she didn’t have to see her mother at all, but thoughts of Kendall stopped that idea as quickly as it formed. Kendall needed her. Saffron had abandoned her sister once when there hadn’t been a choice, but now she had a choice.
I’m strong enough to face my mother, she told herself. She didn’t feel as confident as she had when talking to Vaughn.
Aloud, she said to Halla, “Either way, I still have to see Tyson. I need to know why he never called. Why he didn’t look for me.” It was possible she’d seen their relationship differently than he had. She’d witnessed that scenario repeatedly from the girls who’d gone through Lily’s House. Watching those girls pine for guys who cared nothing for them had taught her as much as she’d learned from her own experienc
e with Tyson. She never wanted to be that girl again.
Her thoughts drifted back to Vaughn. He was a good guy, and once she got over being mad at him completely, maybe they really could be friends. But if she was honest, she had to admit, if only to herself, that she sure missed kissing him already.
Tyson Dekker surveyed the new ramp leading into his parents’ house with satisfaction. In the past six months, his father had gone from partial mobility to complete reliance on a wheelchair. Putting in ramps, reworking the counters to make them shorter, and updating the bathroom was part of a plan to give his father more independence and his mother a well-deserved break.
Not that his mother ever complained, but he could see exhaustion in the slump of her shoulders. She’d made the decision to retire early from the grocery store where she’d been working for the past twenty years to take care of his father, just as she had once shouldered the responsibility to make up the difference between his father’s disability and what they owed in bills.
Tyson had been five years old when his father had come home injured from some ultra-secret skirmish overseas. His father had been a broken man, in constant pain, but he’d slowly healed enough to take care of the house and yard. Anything more was out of the question.
Sometimes when Tyson had watched his friends playing football or some other sport with their fathers, he’d wish his dad could be like them instead of hobbling around embarrassingly on his cane.
Only after many years did he realize he was the lucky one. At least his father had come home—and had been injured early on in his time overseas, before anxiety or nightmares set in. He’d been there for Tyson on his first day of kindergarten, was waiting for him in the kitchen when he came home from school each day, and gave advice as he prepared for his first dance. He was gruff and sometimes pushy, but Tyson knew he wanted the best for him. The best back then had meant the army, though somewhere along the way, Tyson had found another path.
Broken Lies Page 6