Broken Lies

by Rachel Branton

  A sliver of guilt twirled around her mind. Vaughn would be hurt if he knew what had happened with Tyson, but they were no longer a couple, and he had no say over what she did. Why did she feel she’d betrayed him?

  “He’s only a friend,” Saffron said.

  “No way. Not from his side.”

  “I remind you that he broke up with me. Anyway, Tyson has a girlfriend. Or had. But he told her about me. He wants to see where this goes.” Saffron couldn’t stop her smile as she grabbed Halla’s hands. “I think I found what I came back for. As terrible as that meeting was with my mother today, my talk with Tyson was perfect. You should have seen him when I told him about the baby. Ever since last night he’d been hoping for a relationship with him, and he cried when I told him what happened.”

  Saffron paused, searching for words. “And suddenly all the resentment and hurt and anger I’ve been carrying around toward him was gone. I mean, I still long for my baby—and several times today it hurt even more to be with Tyson because I know for sure we could have made it—but at least I don’t feel so alone anymore.” Tyson still cared for her, and all the years of wondering how he could have let her face their baby’s death alone no longer weighed on her.

  Halla’s eyes glittered with her own tears. “I’m happy for you.”

  “Thanks. Of course, I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but I’m hopeful. Anyway, tonight I need to focus on Kendall and how to help her. Tyson says Joel is amazingly talented but has no drive. I’m worried he’s using Kendall because of my mother’s wealth.”

  “Your mother certainly seems to think so.”

  “Well, she thought Tyson wouldn’t amount to anything, either, so her feelings don’t matter. I need to take her out of the equation altogether. Because she was wrong about us. Tyson and I would have made it.” Saffron was sure about this after today. They would have struggled, but they would have made it.

  Now we have a second chance.

  “What do you think Kendall should do?” Halla lay back on her pillows.

  Right, she needed to think about Kendall now. Saffron considered a moment. “I don’t know. I don’t really even know her. I think I need advice.”

  “Good thing you have Lily on speed dial. You call her, but first take a look at what I brought for after.” Halla popped up and went to the mini refrigerator, where she’d crammed several pints of ice cream into the little freezer section.

  Saffron laughed. “You brought ice cream?”

  “Duh! I had no idea how late you’d be. I got it at a place called Mariposa Homemade Ice Cream, and it’s not like they’re open all night. Call Lily, and as soon as you’re finished, we’ll dig in.”

  Saffron rose from the bed and groped in her bag for her phone. A few grains of sand had gathered at the bottom of the bag, and it brought back the rush of being with Tyson again. If things continued for them, would they be able to make their relationship work this time around?

  No, better not think too far ahead.

  Lily answered on the third ring. “Hey, Saffron, how’s it going?”

  “I found him.” Saffron paced to the door as she talked, not really caring if Halla overheard but feeling nervous to tell Lily.

  “What happened?”

  Saffron told her everything, from meeting her sister to seeing Tyson last night. Then the confrontation with her mother and her time with Tyson today. “You were right that there was something going on that I didn’t know about. He shouldn’t have believed I’d go along with my mother without talking to him, but I should have gotten help.”

  “You were only a kid and scared. You made the only choices you felt you had available.”

  Saffron sank onto her bed, tired from all her pacing. “You’re right. Halla reminded me of that today. Don’t worry. I’m not going back to that dark place where I held myself accountable for everything. I know I was young, and that my mother should have helped me better. But Tyson was young too. That’s all I’m saying.”

  “Of course he was.” Lily’s voice was warm. “I’m so glad you’re finding the closure you need.”

  “It might not be closure exactly.”

  “You think you still love him?”

  Saffron thought about that, aware of Lily waiting for her answer. And of Halla, who was sitting at the table tapping at her laptop but listening all the same. “I think I never stopped. He’s all I thought he’d turn out to be—and more. But he has a girlfriend, so it’s complicated. And . . .” She wanted to tell Lily about the painful lump in her throat that she’d felt even while kissing Tyson, but it was too personal. It was also too soon for everything to be completely resolved between them. At least the pain she’d felt at his abandonment was gone, and maybe the rest would fade with time.

  “Naturally, there are others to think about now,” Lily was saying. “His family, your family, Vaughn . . .”

  “I’m not sure our families work into it.” Or Vaughn. But she didn’t say this last because she knew Lily liked Vaughn and would feel sorry for him.

  Lily laughed. “Honey, you’ve seen my struggle with my parents all these years. Family always works into it. And I can see how happy you are to have Kendall back in your life. She’s your family too.”

  “Speaking of that, I’m not sure what to do about her. My mother won’t let them live with her, and I have to admit that I understand why. I’m certainly not willing to support him. I think that’s what it’d mean if they got married and stayed with me. I get the feeling . . .” Saffron searched for words, not wanting to put her sister down in Lily’s eyes. She didn’t know Kendall, not really, and as much as she wanted to help her sister, she wanted to make sure it was help she was offering and not a way of enabling her to make more poor choices. “I get the feeling Kendall’s waiting for someone to step in and take care of them.”

  “That’s not too surprising,” Lily said. “She’s practically an only child, raised in an affluent family. She’s been taken care of all her life. A lot of kids these days think the world owes them a living. It’s called entitlement. They want right now what their parents worked years to obtain, but the biggest favor you can do them is not to help too much. They must learn to support themselves. And you know what? Those struggles will be special to her one day. Remember how it was for us back in that tiny apartment? And when we worked on the house?”

  Those were memories Saffron held dear, and she would have never known how good it was to be able to support herself if she hadn’t struggled.

  “I’ll tell her he can’t come to live with me if she asks,” Saffron said. “But I don’t want to ruin things between us. And I’m afraid if she did come . . . what if he just showed up? How would I make him leave? He doesn’t have a steady job, so he’s basically free to go where he wants, and after what Tyson said about him, I’m not sure he’ll find a job soon, wherever he lives.”

  “If you’d like, Kendall can come here for a few months instead,” Lily said.

  “I thought you’re already full.”

  “Well, I’m two girls over the allotted ten I can have from the state, but since she’s eighteen, they don’t count her. I have space with the new rooms, and I can give her something to do to help out. It’d be good for her to talk with Tessa in therapy. Plus she’d be close enough for you to see often. I’m sure once Kendall figures out where she’s headed, and that she’s in control of her destiny, she’ll be okay. They always are.”

  Saffron wanted to say they were okay mostly because of Lily’s influence, but she was too choked up by the offer to verbalize the thought. “Thank you,” she managed to whisper.

  “Of course. You know that’s what I built this place for, helping girls. It’s just an option, if you need another one.” Her voice became playful. “But if you end up staying there because of a certain doctor, having Kendall here may not work for you.”

  Saffron hadn’t thought that far ahead. She’d never had any intention of moving from Phoenix, but Tyson’s residency was here. “Well, I st
ill plan on coming home,” she said. “We’re not exactly picking up where we left off, if that’s what you’re thinking.” There were some things they could never get back, especially their son.

  Lily’s soft laughter came through the connection. “Okay, but remember that sometimes you’ve got to follow your heart. I think you’ll know what to do before too long. I have faith in you, and I’m so proud of you for doing this.”

  Saffron blinked back tears. “That means a lot.”

  “Go eat your ice cream now,” Lily said with another laugh. “Halla told me about it earlier, and knowing her, she’s chomping at the bit after waiting so long.”

  Saffron looked up at Halla. “Yes, Halla is growing a little green around the mouth. Definite ice cream withdrawal. I’ll go take care of her. Thanks, Lily.”

  Halla dove for the refrigerator. “Not if I take care of it first.” She had four pints out and was dipping a plastic spoon into strawberry ice cream before Saffron had put away her phone. She pushed a pint of coconut almond fudge in Saffron’s direction. “I bought us each two pints, but we can share. I wanted to try more than just one.”

  “You kidding? I know how you feel about strawberry ice cream. I’ve already risked life and limb today going to see my mother. No way am I touching your strawberry ice cream.”

  “Ha ha. Just because I like strawberry doesn’t mean I don’t love all the other flavors. Look, I got Mexican chocolate and mixed berry sorbet as well.”

  “Nice. I’ll start on the sorbet, but I’m definitely going to have some of that coconut almond fudge after the day I’ve had.”

  They spent the next few minutes eating ice cream and debating the deliciousness of the coconut almond fudge topped with the strawberry. In fact, Halla added strawberry to all the other flavors, and Saffron barely refrained from telling her that she should give up any pretense of liking the different flavors and go straight to the strawberry.

  When they’d consumed most of the pints, Halla sat back and sighed. “I know Vaughn’s only taking your car in tomorrow, but what’s the chance he’ll make it down here before I need to get back?”

  “I’m pretty sure you’ll have to drive his car back to Phoenix.”

  “I don’t like leaving you without a car. Maybe I should post and see if any of my blog readers are going to Phoenix.”

  “No way. If you ride with strangers, I’ll tell Lily.”

  Halla rolled her eyes. “They aren’t strangers, they’re my fans.”

  “They’re strangers, and I don’t mind not having a car. I’m not going anywhere, and Kendall can give me a ride if I need one.” Or Tyson could, but she didn’t want to voice that aloud or start depending on him. “Besides, if you take back his car, maybe Vaughn won’t feel the need to come down here.”

  “You sound disappointed about that.”

  “I do not!” Did she? But Saffron was too tired to examine her emotions in detail.

  Halla laughed. “Okay, I’ll drive his car home, and I can bring yours here on Friday after school. There’s no way Vaughn can bring your car and get his here to drive himself back to Arizona.”

  “Good idea.” Saffron’s stress level must be high if she hadn’t considered how he’d get home. Having Halla return with her car would also save her from facing Vaughn in person so soon. It was easier talking to him over text and on the phone.

  Halla stood up and stretched. “Look, should I sleep with you tonight and let Kendall have my bed? I mean, I know she’s your sister but . . .”

  Saffron smiled. “I’d be more comfortable, but I think we might offend her. So, that’s okay. I’ll let her sleep in my bed, and if it’s weird, I’ll come over to yours.”

  Back in the old days, the original six foster girls had slept together like puppies wherever they fit, particularly on movie nights in front of the TV. Though it had been a long time since any of them had to pair up on mattresses on the floor, they were still a lot like a litter of puppies when they got together for their movie fests.

  “Besides, she might not come back tonight,” Saffron added.

  “Oh, I think she probably will. Two large suitcases and a carry-on seem to say she’s serious. And from listening to her, I don’t think there is any room where Joel is staying.”

  “Sorry about her crashing our party.”

  “Are you kidding? She’s your sister. That means she’s my sister too—in a weird sort of way. I wonder how she’s going to feel meeting the rest of us.”

  Saffron had to smile at that. “I guess we’ll see. Um, so do you need to use the bathroom before I clean up? I have to shower after all the time I spent on the beach today. I swear my hair is permanently tangled.”

  “You go ahead.” Halla grabbed the TV remote and lay on her bed. “But are you sure you want to wipe off his kisses with actual water?”

  “Stop.” Saffron flipped her plastic spoon at Halla.

  Halla squealed and dodged the missile. “Just kidding. I’m sure you can always get more tomorrow.”

  Saffron gave up and stalked to the bathroom, pretending annoyance but all the time hoping Halla was right.

  In the bathroom, she checked her phone, but the only messages were from Halla. They were silly, jokey things like “You kissing him yet?” And “Seriously, you’re choosing a man over ice cream? What’s wrong with you, girl?”

  There was nothing from Tyson, which was expected, but also nothing from Vaughn, which made her feel a disappointment she didn’t really understand. It was better this way, of course, especially given the strong attraction between her and Tyson.

  Saffron stepped into the hot shower and thought about seeing Tyson the next day. Maybe there would be more kissing. Of course, that was after work, after he saw the woman he’d been dating. Not only did they work together, they had a past—an adult past. She couldn’t fool herself into thinking there wasn’t a chance their relationship was stronger than what she and Tyson had shared.

  14

  Kendall knocked on her sister’s door at the inn, hoping she was still up. She hadn’t meant to be out so late, but Joel had wanted to stream a movie on Netflix, and she’d fallen asleep on the couch. She hadn’t meant to, but since becoming pregnant, she couldn’t seem to get enough sleep. At the moment, she only wanted her comfortable bed and air-conditioned room, but she couldn’t return to her mother and the brochures she’d printed about adoption. Staying with Joel in an apartment with six other guys also wasn’t an option, even if they could both sleep on the couch, which was impossible. She was lucky Saffron was in town.

  Maybe she could get her sister to let both her and Joel move in with her for a while in Phoenix. Getting Joel away from his friends might be the jumpstart they needed. Kendall knew he would step up when it came right down to it. He should be able to get a good job—everyone said he did beautiful work. She only wished he was a bit more excited about the baby. At first, he’d been so proud, putting his hand on her stomach possessively as he bragged about becoming a father, but lately the throwing up and nausea had put a damper on everything.

  She was so tired that she didn’t know how she was going to make it through school tomorrow. Maybe I won’t go, she thought, knocking harder on the door. If she was giving school up, why bother dragging it out a few more days? She was sickest during the morning when she had her classes, and interior design had always been her mother’s thing, not hers.

  The door opened, and Saffron stood there in a hot pink nightshirt with matching pink and white polka-dotted shorts. She looked different somehow. Happier.

  “Sorry I’m so late.”

  Saffron led her inside, a welcoming smile on her face. “You’re just in time. Halla and I are going to watch an episode of Charmed.”

  “Never heard of it, but I’m game.” Kendall tried to put excitement into her voice, which was more difficult than she thought. Who had ever expected that such a tiny baby could make her so tired?

  “Good, because I have exactly the thing to perk you up.” Halla, dressed
in a Tweetie Bird nightshirt, was opening the little refrigerator. She pulled out two pints of ice cream.

  “What, you have more? How did you get all that in there?” Saffron asked.

  Halla smirked. “Very carefully. Remember, a pregnant woman always needs ice cream.”

  “Pregnant women and women named Halla, you mean.” Saffron handed Kendall a spoon, then ushered her to the bed, where they had a laptop set up on what looked like a plastic lid belonging to a cooler.

  “Aren’t you guys having any?” Kendall asked.

  “We already ate two,” Halla said. “Two each, that is. These are for you.”

  Saffron rearranged the pillows. “Up you go.”

  Seconds later, Kendall found herself wedged between the other two, right in the middle of their conversation about ice cream and how many pints they could eat. She felt a rush of envy that they knew each other so well. It should be her and Saffron who acted like sisters, not Saffron and Halla. But their mother had stolen that from them—she couldn’t blame Saffron for leaving or for not coming back sooner.

  The first bite of coconut almond fudge drove all thoughts from her head. She gobbled the entire pint in pure bliss, not even paying attention to the show. But before she could dig into the second, she started sobbing.

  “Oh, honey, what’s wrong?” Saffron put an arm around her, motioning for Halla to take the ice cream. The sound to the show cut off as Halla paused it.

  “I think I’m just tired.” Kendall wiped furiously at her tears. “And a little worried. Mom wants me to dump Joel, and after Joel finishes at Tyson’s parents’ house, he doesn’t have a job lined up. He’s not even worried about it. I know he wants this baby, but sometimes I wish . . . I wish he were a little more responsible.” There, she’d said it, but she needed to make them understand Joel’s potential. “And don’t tell me I should leave him because we love each other. I don’t need anyone else telling me I’m making a big mistake. He’s the father of my baby, and we’re going to be a family. It’s all the pressure that’s making me crazy.”