by Sean Michael
"No? Maybe at the next pride parade. If it'll make you smile." He bet Ken would like him in a utility kilt.
They kept walking, laughing at the swans, eyes on the way the ducks bobbed.
"When was the last time you saw your family?" he asked casually.
"A couple of months ago. I had supper with them. I'd been sleeping on the sofa a few nights a week, but it didn't work for me."
"You have to pretend with them, too, don't you?"
"Pretend?" Ken gave him a curious look.
"That you're straight." That had to be exhausting.
"I guess. I just... I'm nothing. I don't...date."
"You're not nothing, baby. You're a handsome, interesting, stud of a man."
"I mean, I'm not gay. I'm just not into sex." Even as he said it, Barton could see Kendall's cheeks turn bright red.
"Ken..." He couldn't let Ken get away with that.
"Yeah. I know. I mean, I don't. I don't know what to do, but I know that I'm like...totally into you."
"Thank you for not denying what we have."
"That would be, like, super ridiculous, huh?"
"Yeah, it would be." He chuckled and took Ken's hand again. "Now I just need to convince you it's not evil."
"I just... It's like here, with you, it's simple, but this is a magic time, not real life."
"It could be." They headed slowly back to his place.
"The guys at work would kick my ass if anyone found out."
"Are you sure? I mean you're as likely to make jokes and sneer at fairies as much as them, right? Maybe if you came out to them, you'd find some of their attitudes different."
Kendall looked at him, eyes wide. "Yeah. Yeah, they'll go, dude, let's go have a beer. And I don't make jokes. I don't tease about folks. I have enough shit in my life."
He stopped and smiled at Ken. "I'm glad that you don't make jokes. You see what a good man you are?"
"I'm not. I'm fucked up. I never know what to do."
"That's just because you're trying to hide who you are. Which is all down to being sent to a gay deprogramming prison or whatever it was. How old were you when they sent you there?"
"Eleven."
Barton stopped still. "What?" That was fucking criminal.
Kendall's cheeks were dark purple. "See? Even then they could tell."
"They sent a fucking eleven-year-old boy to some gay bashing prison?" He was horrified. No wonder it was so deeply set in Ken. "How long were you there?"
"Six summers."
"Oh fuck, Ken. That's criminal."
"It was..." Kendall shrugged. "It hurt, a lot."
"I'm so sorry they put you through that." He couldn't even begin to imagine how awful that would have been, each and every year from eleven to seventeen. God, it was hard enough growing up without something like that thrown at you.
"They knew, way back when, and I still couldn't stop it."
"That's because it's not something you can stop or change or fucking beat out of someone. And there's nothing wrong with it!" He hadn't meant to shout, but it pissed him off badly.
Kendall winced, stepped away from him, lips tight, spots of red on his cheeks. "Yeah. I...I think I need a cup of coffee of something."
He touched Ken's arm. "I'm sorry, baby. I'm not mad at you." He was furious, for sure, but not at all at Ken. He hurt for Ken.
"I just..." Kendall was sort of collapsed into himself.
"Come on." They were almost at his place.
"I really ought to..." Kendall waved his hand, and Barton wasn't sure what he meant.
"Come home and continue our weekend. You need a hug and a kiss."
"I don't have a home, man." That was the saddest thing he'd ever heard.
"Yes, you do, baby." Barton kept them moving, kept them walking. "You need a place to stay that's real, and I have the room. I'll get you a key. Okay?" He opened the door and let Kendall in.
"I don't know. That's...that's too nice."
"I'm not doing it to be nice." He led Ken to the kitchen, got the coffee going.
Ken sat on the bar stool, watching him with exhausted eyes. He prepared and poured them each a cup of coffee, then brought it over to where Ken sat, putting the cup in front of him. Then he gave the man a hug, wrapping his arms around Ken. Kendall sat there for a long, long minute, then wrapped those strong arms around him and held on.
"I have you, baby. It's a safe place here." He held on, stroking Kendall's hair, petting and touching. "I want you to stay. I want to know you're sleeping somewhere safe."
"I'm tired, huh?" Kendall finally said after a long moment of them just holding each other. "Real tired."
"Then it's time for a nap."
"Yeah?" The single world was so hopeful, so needy, that Barton just nodded, leaving the coffee behind.
He got Kendall upstairs, got him tucked into the bed, a kiss on the top of his head. "Sleep, baby."
* * * *
Kendall slept hard, nightmares chasing him through his nap. Dreams of being switched, of his head being dunked into icy water, of men screaming at him, throwing women at him. There was a voice in the nightmares this time, low and masculine, telling him he was safe. He didn't want to be here. He wanted to go home and he told the voice that. That he was tired, scared, and so worried.
"Wake up, baby," the voice urged.
"Barton?" He frowned. "Barton, what are you doing here?"
"I live here, baby. Are you actually awake yet?" Barton's lips were warm but firm against his.
"Oh. Oh, sorry. I was...dreaming. Silly."
"No, you weren't dreaming--I think you were having a nightmare." Barton stared down at him, eyes warm, concerned.
"Yeah. Crazy. I never nap in the middle of the day."
"You slept for nearly five hours. I think you needed it."
"Oh, man. I'm sorry. All day..." He'd wasted Barton's entire day.
"It's the weekend and we didn't have plans. You're allowed to nap."
"Yeah, yeah. Thank you."
Barton settled next to him, hand on his stomach. He took a deep breath. How many times was he going to make an ass out of himself today?
"Stop thinking so hard, baby. It was just a bad dream."
"It was." Kendall sat up, stretched, bones creaking.
Barton's fingers traced his muscles.
"I'm sorry for the drama, man. That's not usually my thing."
Barton just chuckled. "I imagine I brought up a lot of bad memories with my questions."
"Yeah." He grabbed Barton's hand, squeezed.
Barton snuggled up close. The man was warm, solid, firm against him and Kendall relaxed into the connection.
"You want to talk about the nightmare?" Barton asked.
He shook his head. "I was in the camp, getting... They called it being saved."
"I imagine it was pretty brutal."
"I broke my arm twice, passed out from drowning a half dozen times, one time my balls were beaten so bad they were the size of oranges." Brutal was about right.
Barton hissed, arms wrapping around him and holding him tight. "They need a taste of their own medicine. And to go to jail. And to get the death penalty."
"They told me it was demons living inside me and they would drive them out."
Barton made it easy to whisper his shame.
"They were the ones who were demons, monsters.
Kendall squeezed his eyes closed. "I was a kid."
"I know. I wish I could go back and stop it from happening." Barton held on to him.
"That's a waste of a wish."
"Then I wish that you have only good days from now on."
Now that was a wish Kendall could get behind. "Me, too."
"Well then, I guess I know what my job is."
No one had ever been so sweet to him, not really.
"I should start right now with an orgasm."
"Huh?" Barton's brain was faster than his.
"I'm going to make you feel good, baby." Smiling, Barton began
nibbling his way down along Kendall's breastbone.
He wasn't sure he was in the mood for this, really. "I don't know."
Barton gave him an arch look. "You're not in the mood for feeling good?"
"I don't know if I can. Feel good, I mean."
"Let me tell you a few things as I do this, see if we can't get there." Barton kissed his right nipple, tongue lingering. "You are allowed to be attracted to anyone, even a man."
The hot little licks warmed him, all through.
Barton moved to his other nipple and sucked on it. "Making love to a man is a good thing. A wonderful thing. A hot and sexy thing."
"Is that what we're doing? Making love? Us?"
"It is, baby. We have been since the start. This isn't some quickie one-night stand." Barton's tongue flicked across his left nipple.
"I'm so worried. It's going to be so hard to go back to my other life." He would wish he didn't have to, but he knew better than that.
"I want you to merge them." Barton flicked that tongue across his right nipple this time. "I'm not saying be out at work, I'm saying come live with me, have this when you're not at work."
"Have this..." Oh, God. Oh, God, please. Please. The logical part of him knew this was a fool's game, impossible, but his heart wanted more.
"Say yes. Say you'll let me give you a key and clear out some drawers for your stuff."
"I...I want to." He wanted to, so badly that it was ridiculous. Insane.
Barton beamed at him, happiness in the dark eyes.
Then his cock was swallowed up, Barton going all the way down on him. Oh. He arched, body rippling as he moved, took Barton's lips. Yes. Yes.
The suction continued, strong and even. What else could Kendall do but let his head fall back, let his throat work as intense joy poured over him?
Pulling all the way off, Barton gave him a grin, then took him in again. He didn't even have a chance to complain, to argue. Tongue busy, Barton traced the shape of his cock, the veins and bumps. Every inch was adored, licked and lapped.
Then the suction started again, Barton pulling so hard on him. So much for not wanting. He was hard enough his belly ached, his entire focus on his cock. Humming, Barton sent vibrations all through his cock, and into his balls.
"Need... Need... I... Barton." Kendall was out of his fucking mind.
Barton nodded, or at least he thought it was a nod. It was kind of hard to tell with Barton's lips wrapped around his cock. It was absolutely maddening. And wonderful. And perfect.
Barton's fingers slid over his balls, stroking them.
"Gonna... I'll..." Oh, Kendall was close.
Another nod slid along his prick. His balls drew up, so tight, aching. Barton pushed his fingers beyond Kendall's balls, touching his hole.. 333I3t was so tender, so sensitized, and he shot, spraying himself into Barton's mouth. Barton swallowed him down, increasing the sensations, making his orgasm last so long.
He melted back into the blankets, breathing hard, cock throbbing. Barton kissed his way up, moving slowly toward his face, his lips. He moaned low, the sound echoing inside his chest.
"Feeling better?" Barton asked, words murmured against his lips.
"Uh-huh." Better.
"Good." Barton took his mouth with a kiss that tasted just like his come.
His cheeks heated, but he didn't shy away this time, needing that kiss. It went on and on, stealing his breath and his sense. Finally he surrendered to it, melted against Barton and still the kisses went on, wrapping him in magic. Wrapping him in Barton, too.
"I want you," Barton murmured, eyes meeting his.
All he could do was nod. Nod and trust.
Tongue flicking at his lips, Barton touched his hole again, finger stroking over it. He clenched tight, then let himself relax.
"That's it. I'm not going to hurt you."
"No. You won't." Barton was good to him.
That finger nudged just inside him. His body heated, opened, let Barton in. Barton touched that spot inside him. His breath huffed out of him, his eyes rolling. Barton touched it again, leaving a kiss on his lips. He moaned into the kiss, chasing Barton's lips as he backed away.
"I need the slick, baby."
He looked on the bedside table, fingers searching for it. Barton helped him find it, pushing the tube into his fingers.
"Thank you. Stupid with needing you." He turned mindless around Barton.
"I have no complaints about that."
Kendall opened the lid, squirted lube on Barton's waiting fingers. Barton gave him a quick kiss and then those fingers were at his ass, pushing at his hole. The tip of one pushed in, then slid away again, only to be replaced by the tip of another. The slick felt cool, easing the pressure. Barton kept his fingers dancing into his ass one at a time for a while, making him want more. His hips started rocking, and when one became two, his legs spread.
"You want me, baby? Want to feel me inside you again?"
"I do. I want..." He wanted that closeness, being together.
"Me, too." Barton spread his fingers, then pushed them deep, hitting that spot inside him.
He sat up, pushed into Barton's arms.
Barton held him close. "Easy, baby."
"That's sharp. Deep."
"Sharp? I didn't hurt you, did I?"
"No. No, like electricity. Like lightning."
"Oh, that's okay then." Barton chuckled and did it again.
His lips parted, his hips bucking restlessly. Barton kept touching against that spot, kept him zinging. His breath came in huffs, short and sharp. Barton added more slick, spreading his fingers wide inside Kendall's body. Oh, he felt that. He felt that everywhere.
There was a rhythm to Barton's movements--wide, deep, wide, deep. He shook his head, swallowing over and over. It got bigger and bigger, then all of a sudden Baron pulled his fingers out, leaving him empty.
Oh. Oh, goddamn it. "Hurry." Hurry.
Barton put on the condom and settled between his spread legs, rubbing the head of that thick, hot cock against his hole. Yes. Yes, hurry. He didn't know what to think about how badly he needed this. Putting pressure on his hole, Barton pushed into him, stretching him open. His body stretched, the pressure deep, pulling inside him.
Groaning, Barton continued to push into him, Barton's cock so huge. His shoulders drew up and he almost bumped heads with Barton.
"Easy, baby." Barton stilled, eyes holding his gaze.
"Trying. I'm trying."
Barton kissed him until he began to relax, to lie back. Kendall's cock nudged his belly, the tip so fucking sensitive his eyes crossed. Once he was on his back again, Barton kept pushing into him. Barton grabbed his legs, scooped them up at the knee and folded him. With that Barton sank even deeper and everything lit up inside him.
"Love." The single word slipped from him.
Barton stilled, and a smile bloomed over his face.
Oh, God. What was wrong with him? Saying that?
Then Barton was kissing him again, stealing his breath and putting sparks behind his eyes. He pushed into the kisses, one after another, his breath caught in his chest. When Barton began to move again, everything got so much bigger. Kendall found himself caught, spinning inside their lovemaking. Barton moved faster, sending him higher.
"Please. Please, I need you."
One hand wrapped around his cock as Barton pushed in harder. Yes. Oh, yes. Just there. Barton slid his thumb along Kendall's slit. His entire body jerked, his balls emptying themselves in a rush.
"Yes! Yes, Ken." Barton shouted, then tongue-fucked his mouth in time to the punches of the thick cock inside him, making his orgasm stretch out.
Everything inside him was heated, tingling, flying. Barton's movements became urgent, then he cried out again, jerking as he froze, coming. Kendall watched, fascinated. He'd done that, made Barton feel so good. Barton relaxed and let his legs slide off the broad shoulders. Panting, Barton gave him a warm smile. He had to smile back, had to.
"You are
amazing." Barton gave him another kiss, this one slow, lazy, like a cherry on top of an amazing bowl of ice cream.
He hummed, and let himself wrap around Barton and hold on.
"I'm so glad you stayed, Kendall."
"I am, too." He didn't know what to do next, but he couldn't think about that now.
"I suppose we should think about what we're going to do for supper. We could go out somewhere nice..."
"I only have jeans. I could cook eggs. I know how to make an omelet."
"Somewhere nice doesn't necessarily mean somewhere that won't take you with jeans. If you don't have a shirt, I could loan you one of mine."
"I wore my good shirt with you. I need to do laundry." He needed to clean out his truck.
"You can do it here. Then you can put your clean clothes in some of my drawers."
"Oh." But what if... What if... Oh, God. "I could totally borrow your washer and dryer."
"It is at your disposal."
"Thank you. Very much." It had been challenging, the last bit of time.
"You know it's my pleasure, Ken." Barton's fingers moved on his belly, stroking.
It felt so good, easy, like breathing.
"You fit just right here, don't you?" Barton's smile sounded in his voice.
"It's so unexpected." Kendall never would have dreamed he could feel so good, so right with another man.
"That makes it even better."
Kendall held those words close.
Barton seemed content to lie with him, hands moving idly. The touches felt so good. He kissed Barton's temple, in thanks. He didn't know what he was going to do later, but right now the rest of the world was safely shut out and he felt good.
He felt like he was home.
Chapter 6
Barton couldn't believe he'd convinced Ken to come out with him. Sure it was well after the dinner hour and they'd picked a place that was quiet and not busy, but it was nice, the food was good, and they were having a good time.
"More wine?" He held the bottle up.
"I probably shouldn't. It makes me a little silly."
"I don't mind a little silly." He poured half of what was left into Ken's glass, the other half into his own. "So your steak was good?" He knew Ken didn't usually eat gourmet food like this.
"It was amazing. So tender."