“I think I’ve proven in the last month that I am capable,” Rachel said. “I’m capable of living this life, I’m capable of surviving it.”
“Can I ask you a question?” Cole asked regarding her carefully.
“Of course,” Rachel said, welcoming the possibility of real conversation.
“Why would you choose this life when you had no cause to?” Cole asked her.
Rachel paused for a moment, trying to find a way to explain it to him. “I don’t know what exactly I wanted,” she started. “I just knew that I wanted out of the life I was living. I just wanted to be somewhere different. Somewhere I would be doing something, instead of sitting in pretty rooms making small talk with people I didn’t even like. I wanted more.”
“And this is the more you were searching for?” Cole asked sounding skeptical.
“Isn’t it enough for you?” Rachel asked him.
“We’re different, you and I,” Cole said immediately. “I was born to this life. I wouldn’t know what to do in fancy clothes in a fancy ballroom surrounded by fancy people. But you’re different. You were bred to talk right and walk right and follow a certain set of rules.”
“That’s just it,” Rachel said passionately. “I don’t want to follow their meaningless rules anymore. I want to forge my own path, away from that kind of society and all their narrow-minded ideas.”
Cole stared at her silently for a while, and then he inclined his head somewhat. “Jane told me about your conversation,” he said.
“Oh,” Rachel said. “I only wanted her to know that it was alright to keep talking to her mother, even though she was not here anymore.”
“Is it true that you lost your sister?” he asked gently.
“Yes,” Rachel nodded.
“Do you think that’s why you wanted to leave?”
Rachel smiled sadly. “Perhaps.”
Cole nodded. “Jane felt better after you talked to her,” he said at last. “It was a nice thing you did.”
“I didn’t do anything,” Rachel said. “I just told her what I would have wanted to hear.”
Cole sighed deeply. “She’s been too long without the company of people. She doesn’t have friends, no one to talk to.”
“Doesn’t she go to school?” Rachel asked.
“She’s needed here,” Cole said with finality.
Rachel struggled to be diplomatic, but she could not stop herself from speaking. “She’s a little girl Cole. She’s only a child. She shouldn’t be working so hard on this ranch.”
“She wants to help,” Cole replied.
“She’s a child, she doesn’t know what’s best for her,” Rachel continued trying to soften her tone. “You’re her father, it’s up to you to make sure she’s alright.”
“She is alright,” Cole said as his tone became instantly harsher.
Rachel could sense his mood shifting but she could not stand down, not with this. “She’s got bruises along her whole body, her palms are cracked with wear and her feet are bleeding more often than not. She shouldn’t be in the fields doing hard labour. She should be in a school, studying with children her own age.”
“Who are you to tell me what’s best for my own daughter?” Cole asked with cold eyes.
“Your wife could not have wanted this for her daughter,” Rachel said desperately in the heat of the moment. Instantly, she knew she had gone too far. Cole rose from the table. He did not shout or raise his voice, his was the kind of anger that was quiet and restrained and all the more terrifying for it.
“You didn’t know my wife,” Cole said slowly. “Don’t act like you know what she would have wanted, because you don’t. You don’t know anything at all. Maybe I was wrong about you. Maybe you are just another empty-headed little city girl.”
He walked away, leaving Rachel sitting in the darkness and shadow of the kitchen.
Chapter Eight
Rachel sat on her bed holding the one book she had brought with her to Montana. It was a children’s storybook that Alice had loved when they were young. Rachel scanned through the pages feeling nostalgia and loss overwhelm her.
All the ranch hands were working today, which gave her a small respite from the constant strain of work that had to be done. She was turning through the pages when she noticed a small shadow lingering just outside her door.
“Jane?” Rachel called.
She stuck her head in. “You’re not in the fields today?”
“Not today,” Rachel replied.
“What are you doing?”
“Reading an old story book,” Rachel replied. “Would you like to read it with me?”
Jane slipped into the room cautiously; her eyes flitted about like a thief. “I can’t read so well.”
“That’s alright,” Rachel said with a smile. “I can help you.”
Hesitantly, Jane edged closer until she was sitting on the very corner of Rachel’s bed. She peered at the book with feigned disinterest but Rachel saw the light spark in her eyes at the sight of the bright pictures.
Rachel started reading until her voice had taken a lyrical quality and it sounded almost as though she were singing a song rather than reading a story. She could see how invested Jane was in the tale, and it struck her again how fast the child had been forced to grow up in this rough world. She was still just a little girl who had lost her mother too young.
“Did you like the story?” Rachel asked when she had finished.
“Yes,” Jane nodded enthusiastically. “Do you have others?
“I didn’t bring any other books with me,” Rachel said. “But I have a hundred more stories in my head and I can tell you all of them.”
Jane smiled and then she nodded shyly. She felt her spirits rise, but then she remembered the coldness that stood between Rachel and Cole and her happiness melted away. She wondered what she would do if Cole turned Rachel away, they were not married yet and he could easily do so. Once that thought had entered Jane’s mind, it would not leave, it clung to her like a bad smell and no matter how hard she tried to bury it, it came back up again.
Days passed and Cole conversed with Rachel in grunts and nods. It seemed as though what little progress they had made had been forgotten in the wake of their last conversation. Rachel took to the stables more and more often, finding comfort in the company of the horses. She tended their needs, and spoke to them in steady whispers. She was in the stables one night after all the work had been finished and the horses had been fed and watered.
“I never thought I would like riding so much,” Rachel whispered to Silver. “But now, I think I might actually love it.”
She stroked the animal’s great head, wishing the horse could talk back.
“You’ve started talking to the horses,” Cole’s voice came from just behind her.
Rachel whirled around, taken by surprise. “I thought you were in the house.”
“I was,” Cole nodded as he moved forward. “I came here to talk to you.”
Rachel felt her palms start to sweat. “About what?”
“Our situation…” Cole said before trailing off.
Rachel swallowed and took a deep breath. She believed everything she had told Cole and she wasn’t about to take anything back simply because she was scared of where that may lead.
“Cole,” she started shakily. “I know I said some things that upset you, and you were right. I didn’t know your wife and I had no right to presume that I knew anything about what she would have wanted. I should have just told you how I felt about it. I believe that Jane should go to school and have friends her own age, and enjoy her childhood. It doesn’t last forever, and there will come a time for her to work until her back is sore and her hands are blistered.”
Cole said nothing, he was looking at her, but his eyes were far away.
“I understand that you might disagree with me, and as Jane’s father you have the final say. But if I am to be her stepmother, I will want a say as well and I suppose that knowledge might af
fect your decision.”
Cole looked up at those words. “My decision?” he repeated as though he didn’t understand.
“I’m sure you’re reluctance to marry me has been motivated by doubt,” Rachel said as calmly as she could manage. “Perhaps you wanted to see how Jane would take to me. Perhaps you were not sure you wanted to marry again. Perhaps you simply did not think I was right for this life or your family. Whatever your reasons for delay, I think it best for both of us that a decision be made sooner rather than later.”
She stood there a moment longer and then she turned from him, ready to make her way back to the house.
“That’s not it,” Cole said, stopping Rachel in her tracks.
“What?” she asked turning around.
“That’s not why I delayed marrying you,” Cole said softly.
Rachel waited patiently until he was ready to explain himself.
“You said yourself, you didn’t know what you wanted, you just wanted out of the life you were living,” Cole said.
“Yes, I did say that.”
“I wanted to make sure you knew what you were getting yourself into,” Cole went on. “This life is not easy, even to those born into it. I have a child to think of and I needed to make sure you were gonna stick around before things were made official.”
“I’m still here Cole,” Rachel pointed out.
“Are you here because you have nowhere else to go, or because you really wanna be here?”
Rachel stepped toward Cole until they were only inches apart. “I’ve had a lot of time to think about things. And I’ll admit, I have wondered if I made a mistake in coming here. But I’ve come to realize that as hard as this life is, and as all-consuming as it might be, this is the first place I have felt truly free.”
“You’re sure?” Cole asked. “A few weeks are very different to a lifetime.”
“I understand,” Rachel nodded. “I think I can take on the challenge. This will be my life’s adventure.”
Cole looked at her as though he couldn’t understand her at all. “We have very different ideas of what an adventure looks like.”
Rachel smiled. “Well maybe our differences will be a boon to us.”
“I thought about what you said about Jane,” Cole said quietly. “I think you may be right.”
Rachel raised her eyebrows. “I didn’t expect that.”
Cole sighed. “I’m a stubborn man and I’m set in my ways, but I can be made to see reason if you’re patient enough.”
Rachel smiled. “I can be patient.”
One corner of Cole’s mouth went up in a tilted smile that Rachel had never seen before. It was subtle but all the more beautiful for it.
“When shall we be married Cole?” Rachel asked.
“Tomorrow,” Cole replied.
Then slowly, almost nervously, he bent his head down and gently pressed his lips against hers.
The End
Return to the TOC for Bonus Content
The Lost Bride
“Oh, believe me when I say, sweet friend, that there is nothing I would rather do than stay here with you for the holidays, but I have promised Momma and Papa to be home for Christmas.”
Angelica Hurst was saying goodbye to her dear friend Miriam Watkins, who was seeing her off after they had spent the week together at Miriam’s home.
“It was such a pleasure to have you; you have made our week a most pleasant one.” Miriam hugged her friend tightly. “Are you certain you shall be all right traveling home alone?”
“Not to worry, sweet Miriam. The good Lord shall watch over me on my journey.” Angelica smiled, as she reached for a necklace and pulled it out of her buttoned up dress, giving the silver cross that was hanging on it a reverent kiss.
“And He will,” Miriam added. “I just worry. It’s quite a long journey for a woman to undertake by herself.”
“All will be well, rest assured. Papa has arranged everything, and you know him!” She gave a rich, throaty laugh, one that always warmed the hearts of those around her. “I think his original plan was to come and get me himself, but business affairs have interfered and he was forced, most probably against his wishes, to send a carriage, with Johnson as the coachman.”
The two young women hugged one last time before Angelica at last mounted the elaborately decorated carriage and closed the door securely. Peering through the window, she waved a merry goodbye and instructed the coachman to be on his way.
If truth be told, although Angelica had enjoyed her time with the Watkins family, she was eager to return to her own family and to spend the Christmas holidays with them. As luck would have it, she had left early enough, hopefully arriving before the festivities commenced. She should be able to help her mother and sisters in the kitchen as they prepared cookies and other holiday treats that the whole family could enjoy.
Angelica didn’t really find it very appealing to travel on her own, especially on such a long journey. On the other hand, her father wouldn’t hear of her traveling by stage coach, where she would be at the mercy of strangers, and perhaps, even vagabonds. She could hear her father’s voice even now.
“No daughter of mine shall travel with the likes of them! You shall do as I instruct, otherwise your mother and I won’t be able to have a good night’s sleep!” he would command gently, while her mother would nod in agreement.
The carriage was more than comfortable, and she thought she might even sleep for half of the journey, while using the rest of the time to catch up on some reading. This, without a doubt, seemed the perfect plan. Reaching into her reticule, she pulled out a volume of Christian stories for children that she had purchased especially for her younger sister. She knew Abigail would revel in it, but in the meantime, she herself would be reminded of a few edifying tales that teach proper Christian conduct and keeping to one’s faith, even in the face of numerous impediments and complications.
Having read a few stories, Angelica became drowsy. She closed the book and made herself more comfortable in an effort to have an afternoon nap. As she dozed off, the carriage came to a sudden sharp turn, causing the carriage to jolt. Suddenly wide awake, she looked out the window, and noticed a snow storm was approaching. The startled horses had left the trail, causing the carriage to jostle and bounce after them.
The coachman tried to soothe the animals in vain, the overhead thunder seeming to fuel their fear. A sharp turn to the left, as the fear-stricken animals tried to swerve around a large oak in their path, had the carriage crash into a tree, sending it and the animals tumbling down the side of the hill
Upon regaining consciousness, the first thing Angela noticed when opening her eyes was a bright light above her.
“Have I died and gone to our sweet Lord in Heaven?” she managed to whisper.
“Shh, child, all will be well,” a comforting female voice answered by her side.
“Are you an angel?” Angelica tried to look in the direction of the voice but only managed to see a whiteness that hurt her eyes. She squeezed them closed tightly, hoping that, when next she opened them, she would be able to see who was next to her.
“Well, aren’t you a dear!” The laugh in the female voice made Angelica feel better. “No, I most certainly am not!”
“If it wasn’t for your goodness, Nurse Mary, we wouldn’t survive in here!” The second female voice came from slightly further away, yet reminded Angela of her own, a soft murmur.
“Come on now. I am just doing what I was put on this earth to do.” Nurse Mary turned her attention back to Angelica. “Do you know where you are, child?”
Angelica shook her head, her eyes still shut.
“Could you please pull the curtains?” she whispered courteously. Nurse Mary obeyed.
“Is this better?”
She opened her eyes slightly and noticed that the light had grown dimmer, allowing her to see where she was. She tried to make sense of what had happened. “Much better, thank you. Where am I?”
“You are a
t the Southwestern Hospital in Oklahoma City, sweetheart.”
“How?” Angelica was confused. Wasn’t she supposed to be somewhere else? But where? Where was it that she was supposed to be?
She realized that trying to remember what had happened to her over the past few days was futile. Everything was a haze. She had no recollection of where she was, what she had been doing prior to waking up at this hospital, and worst of all, she had no idea who she was!
“What is your name, child?” Nurse Mary continued gently. “We need to notify your next of kin to come for you. Is there anyone you know in town? Were you visiting someone?”
All these questions made Angelica’s head hurt. No matter how hard she tried to remember, she simply could not recall.
“Your name, honey?” Nurse Mary had a pen and paper at the ready to jot down any information forthcoming.
“I can’t remember,” she whispered desperately, “I simply can’t remember.”
“Well, it says here,” Nurse Mary riffled through some papers, “that you were in an accident. There was a storm last night, and apparently, Mr. Crosby, who was returning home from a business trip, saw your carriage down the side of the hill. He brought you here immediately. There was no coachman, which is strange, but we are all assuming that he had seen you were hurt and went in search of help on foot. You were unconscious the entire time, so Mr. Crosby was unable to find out anything about your identity, and we were hoping you would be able to shed some light about that.”
Nothing sounded familiar to Angelica. It was as if the entire ordeal had happened to someone else
“I don’t remember any of that.”
“Maybe.” Nurse Mary left the room, only to return after a few minutes with a small pocket mirror. “Perhaps if you see your own face, you will remember. We have had some patients with amnesia, just like you, who took one look at themselves in a mirror and it all came back to them. With a bit of luck, you will too! Here,” she offered Angelica the mirror.
Angelica lifted the mirror and peered into it warily. The face staring back at her was totally unfamiliar, a complete stranger.
Regency Romance: Fallen Duchess (A Historical Victorian Murder Mystery Love Regency Romance) Page 39