Beneath the Skin

by Melissa James

  Stalked by a lunatic, her life torn apart by murder attempts, pranks and threats, sent into hiding with barely more than a change of underwear, she’d made a hovel livable and a shower from questionable river water—and she did it all with her head held high and an unconquered smile.

  She was right about this place, too. He looked again, this time seeing bush and cabin in the shining glow of a summer morning, and her honey skin bathed in the dappled light filtering through the ring of ghost gums. This was Elly’s natural element—and after so many years, it welcomed him home as if he’d never been away.

  They drank tea from a thermos, sitting on the banks of the river, paddling their feet in the coolness of rushing waters. Sensing her need for space, he didn’t touch her, didn’t speak. She glanced at him, and smiled.

  He cupped river water in his palms and splashed his face. The bush equivalent of a cold shower, he thought wryly, letting it splash over his shorts. It didn’t work. He doubted immersing himself in the entire river would. Man, he felt like a virgin again: so fumblingly eager to touch her he couldn’t think straight.

  The sound of a boat’s motor coming towards them made his cop’s instinct kick him right up the backside. ‘Elly, get back in the cabin,’ he commanded in a whisper, pulling his gun from the picnic basket.

  ‘No.’

  He swung around to frown at her. ‘Elly, how can I protect you if you won’t—’

  ‘Who’ll protect you?’ she muttered, eyes flashing. ‘I’ll hide in the shrub. Don’t worry, none of this shrub is dangerous.’ She disappeared into the bushes while he packed up the picnic basket, throwing it into the cabin before he moved behind a tree, gun in hand.

  The motor cut as the boat rounded the bend in the river.

  He glanced at her, hidden in the shrub. She was watching the river with intent eyes, a branch in her hand, ready to strike.

  He turned back to the river, pride burning in his heart. She was beside him all the way. Never had there been a greater contrast between the two women in his life than at this moment. If he could have forced her to come here at all, Sharon would have relied on him, hiding in the cabin, too scared of the bush around her to use it for camouflage. Once, he’d thought being the protector of his woman would make him feel strong. But the deaths of Sharon and Zack had taught him the price of failure. All he felt in the face of Elly’s determination to help him was arrogant gladness. He hadn’t realised how long he’d carried his burdens alone.

  The boat passed them, carrying only a couple of fishermen. Lightheaded with relief, Adam shrank back so they wouldn’t see him.

  ‘Whew.’ Elly laughed, emerging from the scrub. ‘Just as well we didn’t light a fire.’

  He didn’t yet have the heart to tell her they wouldn’t be lighting a fire at all. ‘We need to rig up a net with leaves and branches to hid our presence from passing boaties. We can tie it to a tree, and undo it when we want to swim.’

  ‘Clever, Claudius. One would think you’d taken women into hiding in the bush twenty times before.’

  ‘Who says I haven’t?’

  The sudden vulnerability in her eyes ended the joke. ‘Don’t say that. I couldn’t stand it if you’d shared this with anyone but me. This is our life, Claudius, our world.’

  Ah, hell. ‘You know I haven’t,’ he said quietly. ‘This is just you and me, us. I don’t know of another woman who’d want to share this with me, or do anything but cry or demand I fix it up for their comfort.’

  She frowned. ‘I’m not them. I’m not her.’

  He almost choked, admitting it. ‘I know, and I’m glad of it. I don’t want you to be anyone but yourself.’

  She walked to him, wrapping her arms around his waist, breathing in the sweat and dirt on his skin. Kissing his sweaty shoulder, his dirt-dusted throat. ‘I’m happy out here, because this is us. Out here, you’re mine.’

  The lump in his throat became the size of a football, cutting off his breath. He kissed her cheek, her jaw, his hands on her hips holding her without pressure. The rightness, the beauty—Janie and Adam; Elly-May and Claudius—a day to pretend they had all the time in the world.

  He knew as well as she did that a day or two was probably all they’d have before Spencer got here—but the thought of this being it for them made him rebel. No! It isn’t fair. The thought of a lifetime with Elly was so right he couldn’t question it. The vow he’d made Sharon was wrong, wrong. She was gone, and he was sick of living a half-life. The only time he’d ever truly felt alive was when he was with Elly. But how could he stop her from leaving him for good, once all this was finished?

  ‘Let’s get that net done,’ she murmured, her voice husky, as if she’d heard his thoughts.

  They moved silently as she found leaves and branches while he rigged the net and hooks.

  ‘I’m hungry,’ he said after they’d set up the net.

  ‘We have cold food, but we have a few potatoes and some butter. We can catch fish and cook chips, just like when we were kids,’ she suggested, with a glimmering smile.

  With some sadness, he shook his head. ‘The smoke would be seen for miles. People hereabouts know of Alfie’s death.’

  ‘So ends our camping fun.’ She pouted. ‘No warm showers. Not even coffee at breakfast.’

  ‘There’s a dozen iced coffees in the pack from Sarge’s wife—the strong brand,’ he said, wanting to make up for it somehow, ‘and a half-dozen bottles of iced tea.’ When she didn’t answer, he said softly, ‘We’re here, Elle. Let’s make the best of it.’

  Her eyes softened and she smiled. ‘I plan to.’ A promise.

  The satellite phone rang. With a quick smile of apology, he walked away to answer. ‘Sarge? What’s the latest?’

  ‘You get there safely?’

  ‘Yep. Elly cleaned the cabin while I secured the perimeter, including rigging a leaf net to cover us from the river. We almost had some visitors—only fishermen.’

  ‘Good thinking.’

  ‘What’s the latest?’

  ‘The Mirakis appear clean, but their alibis for the incidents are a bit shaky. Our visit scared any defiance out of them. If they did anything, they won’t admit it, or do any more from now on, I think—but they only came here a month ago, having been recommended for their positions at Longa Station by Will Sanderson, their former employer at Griffin Station.’

  ‘The one who sacked Miraki for drinking on the job?’

  ‘Exactly. We’re looking into it, checking Sanderson’s bank accounts. I’ve got a feeling you were right. This has the hallmarks of Jeremiah Spencer. He’ll stop at nothing to keep Danny safe, until he gets a sane heir.

  ‘Both Jen Collins and Mendham are under surveillance by two of the best undercover teams in Sydney,’ Sarge went on. ‘Teams well known to you, I believe.’

  ‘Hall and Brady, Levitz and Barlow?’

  Sarge laughed. ‘They’re the ones. Levitz and Barlow picked up Mendham’s trail at Circular Quay, and flew to Macks Lake ahead of him. When they saw Elly’s photo, Hall and Brady said to tell you you’re a lucky bastard. Brady said if you get bored, he’d swap duties with pleasure.’

  ‘I’ll bet he did,’ he murmured, watching Elly beating the whitish rug again with the old broom, seeing dust and heaven knows what flying in every direction. ‘Tell him when it snows in the Nullarbor, I’ll think about a swap.’

  ‘Jen Collins has gone quiet,’ Sarge said. ‘The Mirakis seem subdued for now; we can’t trace them to the picnic-ground attack. Baz and Simon interviewed Mrs Collins’ neighbors. They ID’d Mendham as having visited her more than once in the past few days.’

  He shut his eyes. ‘I’d have staked my life on it not being Rick. No—it can’t be. I won’t believe it. I trusted him with my daughter!’

  ‘Zoe’s safe, Jepson. Levitz and Barlow confirmed it.’

  ‘I didn’t mean it that way. Do you think I’d have left Zoe with him if I wasn’t one hundred per cent convinced that he was with us?’

  Sarg
e sighed. ‘I know—but collusion between Mendham and Collins is a possibility we can’t ignore. When I asked him about it, he laughed, and said they’ve begun dating. Said he’d keep her away from you permanently. We can’t argue with that, and he knows it.’

  ‘He’s protecting Elly, Sarge—proving he cares for her. That I can easily believe. He’s giving Elly a chance to see him as he is.’

  ‘I believe that, too—as much as I believe Elly won’t see it. She’s that type of woman.’

  ‘What type is that?’ he snapped.

  ‘Come on, Jepson,’ Sarge snapped back, ‘you know what I mean, you more than anyone. Elly’s that rare creature who doesn’t see any other man apart from the one she wants. Utterly faithful and devoted for life.’ His boss let that sit for a moment before he went on. ‘Congratulations, Jepson. You’re a bloody lucky man.’

  Feeling proud and glad and lousy all at once, he muttered, ‘I know.’

  ‘If I can give you one piece of advice?’

  He sighed. ‘I think I already know it, but go ahead.’

  ‘Becoming intimate before the case is closed will put you both at risk.’ Sarge spoke as if he had a frog in his throat—thick and awkward. Aussie men didn’t talk about emotional stuff.

  But there it was. He’d known it, didn’t want to hear it, even now he had. But the words went round and round in his head, like those stupid dance lessons he’d had at school where he had to pick a girl to dance with. Round and round with an unwanted partner. He didn’t answer.

  When Sarge went on, it was with a wary note. ‘You know what I’m saying. Your judgment’s already clouded. Put what distance you can between you, for both your sakes. You’re in too deep as it is.’ A little pause. ‘I know it’s hard, Jepson, but it’s for her safety as well as your own.’

  Sarge was right, he’d lost his objectivity. To protect Elly, he had to find it again—and keep his hands off her. That was the first rule of a good cop.

  But how the hell was he going to do it? If he made love to Elly, he put her in danger. If he held off, she’d misinterpret his restraint, believe he’d rejected her, and shield her heart so effectively she’d never let him—maybe not any man—near her again.

  The damage he’d done to her never seemed to end.

  ‘Right.’ One word, but it jerked like a puppet pulled sideways. ‘Thanks for that.’

  His boss didn’t apologise, or say goodbye, just quietly hung up.

  The mists of the morning burned out by eleven, leaving the day cloudless and hot. The rains of the previous day and night might never have existed. Adam caught Elly’s longing glances outside as they worked to make the cabin habitable, but she made no complaint until the food was away, the bed made, and everything as clean as it could be. Then she fell onto the picnic blanket with a luxurious sigh. ‘I’m sweaty, gritty and aching in places I didn’t know I had.’

  He cocked his head toward the river. ‘Want to wash all the grit away?’

  Her face lit. ‘Do we have anything to swim in?’

  ‘The river. See it there?’

  She pushed him, with a laugh. ‘Clothes, Claudius. I forgot to pack my swimmers.’

  He had, but with the recent conversation and its aftermath still doing the do-si-do in his head, he wasn’t going to tell her, and break the mood.

  ‘So, you wanna do it?’ She looked into his eyes, an impish challenge. ‘We’ve done it once before.’

  Hold off for now. Don’t touch Elly until the case is closed.

  ‘We were seventeen and thirteen then.’ The day he’d got his driver’s licence, he’d driven straight down to his grandparents’ farm. Straight to Elly, wanting to celebrate – and her dare had become one of his sweetest memories. He’d barely even looked at her; she’d been a little girl then. But now, everything had changed. The vision of slipping buck-naked into the river with her grabbed hold of him and wouldn’t let go. ‘Just a pair of kids,’ he said, voice rough.

  ‘Yes,’ she said softly. ‘We were. But wasn’t it fun?’

  Adam, please—any woman but her.

  No, Sharon. I couldn’t be what you wanted then, and I can’t be now.

  Yet the anchor was back, made heavier with Sarge’s caution, weighing him down.

  He fumbled to reply. ‘You go in. I’d better, um, check in with Sarge, see what’s doing.’

  The light left her eyes. ‘Don’t worry. I’ll rig up the outdoor shower instead. Have we got any facecloths? I hope there’s not too many microbes in the water. I can’t afford to get sick. So many people depend on my work, and—’

  Ah, hell, she was retreating as he’d feared she would … and he couldn’t stand it. No matter what he’d promised, he couldn’t lie to her, or hurt her again. ‘Elly, no.’ He grabbed her as she passed him. ‘I’m not rejecting you, darlin’, I swear it.’

  She wouldn’t look up. ‘It’s all right,’ she murmured, a catch in her voice. ‘I understand. The case has to come first. Catching Danny’s the top priority.’

  Though everything she said was right and understanding, he felt her leaving him in her mind, and his panic grew. ‘You’re not a case, Elle, not to me.’

  She shrugged. ‘You’re a cop. It’s what you do; your entire life apart from Zoe. You’re helping me, and I’m interfering with that. I’m sorry. I won’t ask again.’ Her hands pleated the edge of her shorts, dust falling all around her bare feet. ‘If I could stop it, I would, but no matter how hard I try—and I’ve tried so hard through the years—the way I feel about you never changes.’

  The job and the responsibility that had for too long been a burden crumbled, leaving him stripped bare. ‘Ah, Elly, how can I be anything but a man when you talk to me like that?’

  ‘You’re doing better than me,’ she murmured, standing stiff. Refusing to look up. ‘I just keep making a fool of myself, throwing myself at you.’

  ‘Elly, look at me.’

  She shook her head. ‘You need to give your report.’

  ‘I lied,’ he said. ‘I was afraid. But I’m not now. Look at me, Elly.’

  ‘I can’t,’ she cried, twisting her arms out of his gentle hold. ‘Every time I look at you I forget Danny, the case, everything but how much I want you.’

  Ah hell, the raw honesty of her, his lovely untamed thing: no prevarication, no fear, just this shimmering desire for him that knew no bounds. ‘Do you think it’s any different for me? But if I lose what objectivity I have left, I put you in danger. I have to stay focused to keep you alive.’ He pulled her against him. ‘It’s only for a few days. When Spencer’s put away, I’m all yours, for as long as you want me.’

  She only shivered in answer, and in it, he felt the farewell.

  ‘I’m all yours,’ he repeated softly, trying to make her believe it.

  She just shook her head. ‘Don’t make promises you can’t keep. If she isn’t with us now, she will be later. The moment you see her picture—or Zoe—again.’

  How well she knew him—but this time the pain in his heart was for Elly. ‘Maybe so, Elle, but it was always the same with you. She tried and tried to get rid of you, but I couldn’t let go.’ He pulled out his wallet. ‘Remember when I took this?’

  She looked at the photo, and a little smile curved her mouth. ‘I was so mad at you that day.’

  ‘You didn’t come out of the tree for hours, and you kicked me every time I tried to come up to you. So I took this photo of your grumpy face, with your foot out, ready to kick me again.’ He chuckled. ‘I have no doubt I deserved it, but what did I do?’

  ‘You said you were going to the school dance with Sarah McLeish.’ Her rueful look, her dusty face, was so beautiful in its honesty it made him ache. ‘I was so angry, because you never thought to ask me.’

  ‘Stupid jerk,’ he muttered. ‘I didn’t mean to hurt you.’

  ‘I knew that. I was only eleven—the whole school would have laughed at you if you’d taken me, and I knew it, but …’ She lifted a shoulder and turned away, staring at the
net hiding the river from them. ‘I just wanted you to ask. I wanted to dance with you so much.’

  He wanted to kick the boy he’d been for causing the pain beneath her words. For missing all that he could have had for a lifetime, if he’d only looked at her, waited for her. ‘You were like my little sister then. My best friend. I only saw what I needed in you, Elle. I didn’t know.’

  ‘I know.’ She nodded, trying to smile—giving him absolution. That was how much he meant to her—how much he’d always meant to her.

  ‘Come here,’ he whispered, holding out his arms.

  She bit her lip, her eyes bright, and stepped into them.

  He hummed as they waltzed around the patch of dirt and weeds, dust falling from their sweaty, gritty bodies, and he felt her hidden laughter. ‘You sing then,’ he retorted to her silent mockery.

  She only moved closer, putting her arms around his neck, changing the waltz to a slow dance. He wrapped his arms around her waist. Her head rested on his shoulder. He stopped humming. The symphony of crickets, birdcalls and the rushing river was all the music they needed.

  ‘Now I know why,’ she whispered.

  He nodded. Their first dance could only ever have been out here in the wild. The rightness of it was too strong to question or deny, everything that had always been there and always would be, bigger for its being unspoken. Right and perfect.

  ‘I wish I’d known that day,’ he murmured, the photo still clutched in his hand.

  ‘You might have been seen as creepy if you did.’ Her voice was full of laughter.

  He swatted her butt, and she laughed again. He drew her closer as they moved over lumps of dirt and clumps of dried grass in bare feet. In the heat, they both shivered.

  ‘I think I was afraid of even looking at that door, let alone opening it,’ he said quietly. ‘What it would lead to.’