“Heifer, do you know what time it is?” Reshunda asked as she yanked open the door. She still wore her clothing from the night before.
“Going somewhere?”
She ignored me and walked back to her room. She picked up her digital clock and shoved it into my face.
“I’ma ask you again, do you know what time it is?” She slammed the clock back on the dresser and plopped down on her bed. I took a seat on Ebony’s bed, especially since I knew she wouldn’t be using it for a couple of days.
“Heifer, please. You should know me well enough to realize I wouldn’t come over here this time of the morning unless it was important.”
“Dag, I’m sorry. I lost my damn phone and I couldn’t sleep worrying about it. I just bought that bitch, and what makes it so bad is I had to sign a two-year contract!”
“You’re phone isn’t lost; Ebony has it.”
Relief transformed her face. “Thank you Jesus! I was about to be mad as a motherfucker if I had to pay for a phone I no longer had for two years. How’d you know Ebony had it? That heifer is still asleep in the car,” she said, smiling.
“She might be asleep but she damn sure ain’t in the car.” Damn, I hadn’t meant for it to come out like that.
“What are you talking about?” She got up from the bed and peeked out the window. “Where’s Ebony’s car?”
“Sit down for a minute, I need to tell you something. It’s bad but it ain’t the end of the world.”
Flinging the blinds back against the window, she rushed over to me, grabbing me by the shoulders. “What the hell is going on?”
I tried to pry her fingernails from my shoulders but her grip was firm.
“Ebony’s been arrested. She must have woke up and decided she needed to be somewhere. The cops pulled her over and arrested her, and before you go off the deep end and shit, I’ve already called a lawyer.”
“She’s what—” She raced back over to the window as if she didn’t believe what she saw the first time.
“She called me because she didn’t know anybody else on your phone.”
“Where the hell was she going?”
“Beats the shit out of me. She may have woke up and thought she needed to go home. Hell if I know what the bitch was thinking.” The last statement slipped out. It was on my mind but I hadn’t planned on saying it.
Reshunda turned on me, her eyes blazing.
“You think this shit is funny, don’t you!”
If I hadn’t seen it for my own eyes, I would have never believed she could flip the script on me so quickly. “Bitch, please. Didn’t you hear me say I called a lawyer for her!” She had pissed me off. I reached in my purse and pulled out Ricardo’s card and tossed it on the bed. “I thought you knew me better than that. I may not like your cousin but she means something to you so I have to care what happens to her. Real talk, that’s what friends do.” I turned and stomped out of the room. I was sick of this back-and-forth bullshit surrounding Reshunda and her cousin. I was done.
“Val, wait, I’m sorry. I’m sleepy and I took it out on you.”
“Seriously? Is that your excuse?” I was so mad I couldn’t even think of anything else to say.
“Uh . . .”
“Forget it, Reshunda. I’ll tell the lawyer to call you if he gets to see her.” I walked out the door. I was through with her and her silly-ass cousin. Going away to school was looking better, and I was finally ready to cut the strings with my longtime friend.
Chapter Eighteen
RESHUNDA WYLDE
Valencia was giving me the silent treatment. She didn’t answer the door when I went over to her house and she wasn’t returning my calls. I thought she was being childish but I was sure I could get her to forgive me when I saw her at work. After Val left, I tried to get some sleep but I couldn’t. I was worried about Ebony, but I was also afraid that I’d finally crossed the point of no return with Valencia.
We’d had our fair share of spats over the years but this last year had been the roughest. A lot of things had been said and some of them would leave permanent scars. The lawyer Val had contacted told me that Ebony wouldn’t get to see a judge before Sunday, so I was going to have to go to work without her, which was easier said than done. I didn’t realize how much I depended on Ebony until I started getting ready. Nothing I tried on fit the way I wanted it to and I couldn’t get my hair right. I was a complete mess. I sat before my mirror but didn’t like the person staring back at me.
Fine friend I turned out to be. How could I let her leave like that? I asked myself for the hundredth time. Shit don’t matter. We’ll be friends again before midnight. She’s just trying to teach me a lesson. I tried shrugging my shoulders, acting like it didn’t matter, but I was lying to myself. I slammed down my brush. “Fuck it, it is what it is.” I wasn’t used to having my room to myself and the pure silence was driving me crazy. I was also worried about how I was going to work the room at the club alone. I had a few good dance moves but my moves weren’t inspirational. When I danced with Ebony, I studied her moves and imitated them, but I wasn’t sure how things would go without her being there to inspire me. I didn’t have enough confidence to make it drizzle, let alone rain!
Ebony once told me dancing for her was like an out-of-body experience and her alter ego took over. I didn’t think I had one of those but if I did, I was going have to meet the bitch tonight because I was going to need her.
I called Valencia to let her know I was on the way but she didn’t answer.
“I know she didn’t catch the bus,” I mumbled out loud. However, on a deeper level I knew that she had. I drove over to her house anyway, praying that she’d changed her mind and was going to forgive me.
She didn’t answer the door but when I rounded the corner heading to the club I saw her standing at the bus stop. I pulled up next to her; my heart was beating so loudly I just knew she could hear it from where she stood.
“Val, I know you’re pissed at me, but get in the car. You can still be mad but there is no need for you to catch the bus.”
She took a few steps away from the car.
“Fool, stop trippin’ and get in the car.”
“The only fool out here is you!” Her long, brown hair whipped into her face as her neck swung wildly.
“Okay, I’m a fool, now get in the car.”
She looked both ways several times before she got in.
I was relieved, because as much as I hated to admit it, I didn’t want to go to the club without her.
“’Bout time, heifer,” Valencia said, as she closed the door and put on her seat belt.
As soon as she sat down, a riot started in my stomach. Butterflies seemed like they were eating a hole in my stomach and felt like I was going to be sick.
“What’s wrong?”
I was so sure she could see the discomfort I was having and laugh at me, so I shrugged it off.
“I’m good.”
She grunted, which was cool because I really wasn’t up for a whole lot of conversation. I turned up the radio. I pressed my foot harder on the gas. My stomach was trying to make a mockery of the burger and fries I ate earlier. I’d been shitting all afternoon and it was starting to get on my nerves.
“What’s the matter with you?” Valencia inquired.
“My stomach is all fucked up.” I grimaced in discomfort.
“Nerves?”
I wasn’t surprised by her intuitiveness. That’s the way we were. I nodded. What did surprise me was the fact that she wasn’t nervous and she appeared to have forgotten our earlier disagreement.
“You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”
“Huh?”
“You don’t have to do this. Ebony’s not here to impress. If I didn’t need the money, I wouldn’t be doing it either.”
I thought about what she was saying. It was true that I started dancing because Ebony dared me, but since she wasn’t there, I couldn’t use her as an excuse. If I took to the stage
tonight, it would be because I wanted to.
“I like the money,” I admitted.
“Then, dance. When this mess is over with my mom, I’m done. I’m not going to allow the allure of money make me settle in. I’m going to school.”
My foot hovered over the brake. Valencia’s declaration was like a punch to the stomach.
“You got in?” I didn’t mean to sound like she was incapable of getting accepted into college, but her decision seemed to come from left field, catching me in the center of my chest.
“Yeah, full scholarship and all.”
She had every reason to be proud of herself but I didn’t understand why she chose this moment to tell me about it. I wanted to be happy for her but I wasn’t. In fact, I hated her.
“Oh yeah, where at?” The words tried to choke me as I tried to pretend I really gave a damn. I had forgotten about my upset stomach and began plotting on different things I could do to make Valencia feel as bad as I did.
“I’m moving to Boston.”
My stomach recoiled as we reached the club. Throwing the car in park, I bolted and raced to the bathroom. I could hear Valencia behind me, yelling my name but I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t explain why I felt inadequate because she was going off to school. Perhaps it was because she was leaving me behind, but there was no time to analyze my reactions as I hovered over the toilet. When I was finally able to raise my head, I was embarrassed.
“Ee-wo, that’s nasty.” Valencia chuckled as she turned up her nose.
I failed to see the humor. “Nigga, you can save the jokes.” I walked over to the mirror and washed my mouth out as best I could. As I stood up, Valencia handed me a miniature bottle of mouthwash. I stared at her for a few seconds before I took it.
“You always walk around with mouthwash? Is there something you want to share with me?”
She shrugged her shoulders. “I’m always prepared.”
As much as I hated to admit it, she was. I gave the bottle back to her and she handed me my purse. I surveyed my face in the mirror and attempted to fix my makeup.
“Thanks.” I was battling tears. We’d come to the end of the road and I honestly didn’t know what I would do with the rest of my life.
“We’re going to get through this.”
I looked deep into her eyes. Even though I tried to hide my feelings, she knew.
“Since Ebony isn’t here, why don’t you dance with me in the main room? That’s where all the big money is and it would put you that much closer to your goal.” The more I thought about the idea the better it sounded to me. If she danced with me, I wouldn’t feel so alone. It was a win-win situation.
“I don’t know about that. That Spears guy ain’t feeling me.”
“Spears? How did you get on his bad side? You haven’t been here long enough.”
“Beats me, he looks at me like I’m the shit on the bottom of his shoe.”
“Child, don’t worry about him. I got you.” I sounded more confident than I felt because I didn’t know Spears either. Since I didn’t do the same type of audition Valencia had done, I relied on Ebony’s status in the club to shelter me. I wasn’t sure how that would work, especially since she wasn’t there, which was another reason why I wanted Valencia close to me, so we could watch out for each other.
“Are you done, yet?” Valencia was tapping her foot, but I knew she was messing with me.
“Yeah, heifer, let’s get out there and do the shit.”
We had on our game faces.
Chapter Nineteen
EBONY QUEEN
“It stinks in here,” I shouted through the bars. If anyone other than my cellmates were listening, I couldn’t tell. I’d been shouting the same thing for the last half hour with no noticeable results. I was tired but too scared to sleep. Dejected, I finally gave up and went back to my bunk and sat down.
“’Bout time,” a voice cried out from across the room.
I looked around, trying to see if they were talking to me. Most of the people who were in the holding cell when I arrived had already been processed.
“What? It does stink.”
“And? Do you think somebody gonna come down here with a can of Lysol and spray some shit because your nose is offended?”
“I wasn’t talking to you,” I mumbled to myself. I wasn’t about to start no shit I couldn’t finish, so I shut the hell up.
“What you say?” As hard as it was to do, I refrained from responding. If the situation were different and we weren’t locked down, I would’ve jumped bad but since there was nowhere to run, I decided to keep my big mouth shut. I could talk a good game but couldn’t fight a lick. I used words to keep folks off of me. It worked in the past but I always had a way out if it didn’t.
“Leave her alone. She ain’t no different than we were when we first got here.”
This older woman got up from her bunk and came to stand beside me. I wanted to push her away but something about her piqued my interest. “Do I know you?” She looked vaguely familiar but I wasn’t about to trust anyone up in this bitch.
“No, but I knew your mother, Candace. You look just like her.”
I was stunned. “Are you from New York?” I was thinking this was some kind of bad joke, since my mother didn’t know many people in Atlanta.
“No, I’m from Atlanta, but your mother came here a lot.”
Suddenly I knew exactly who she was. The resemblance to Valencia was uncanny and if I weren’t so self-absorbed I would have seen it the moment I laid eyes on her.
“You must be Valencia’s mom.” She nodded her head proudly. Can you say small fucking world? Wow, of all the fucking people that I could meet in jail, I meet the mother of a bitch I couldn’t stand.
“You look so much like your mother, but I wasn’t sure it was you until you started talking. You even sound like she did.”
I nodded. I used to hear that often when I answered the phone. She brought back pleasant memories that I couldn’t afford to think about, at least until I got out of this place. Jail was not the place to appear weak. “I’m sorry, I forgot your name.” I didn’t know if she could be counted on as a friend or a foe. There’s no telling what lies Valencia may have already told her, so I was going to handle her with care.
“I’m sorry, my name is Astoria.”
She laughed and my veneer started to crumble. Without thought as to how she would react, I threw myself into her arms. At that moment, I didn’t care what anyone thought of me. I was seeking the comfort only a mother could give and it didn’t matter to me whose mother it came from.
“It’s okay, sweetie, let it out.” She continued to pat my back as I cried.
My tears felt like acid on my cheeks as I frantically swatted them away. They were the first real tears I’d shed since my mother passed and with them came the loneliness that I’d been trying to either ignore, or fill with other things.
“I miss her so much,” I wailed but I wasn’t being entirely truthful. I was angry with my mother for leaving me.
“I know, honey, I know.”
I finally felt like I’d met someone who truly understood me, but those feelings conflicted with my desire to hate her. She was here and my mother was not. She was being charged with my mother’s murder. I pushed away from her comforting arms.
“You don’t know shit,” I snarled with venom dripping from my tongue. I was mad at myself for showing any form of weakness, least of all to her.
Her smile disappeared and her eyes narrowed. “You might want to take that down a decibel. I can understand your being upset but I ain’t the one you should be mad at.” She yanked me forward, causing our chests to collide as she lowered her voice.
“What do you think you’re doing?” I demanded.
“Keeping your stupid ass from making a big mistake. You don’t know these people. You start running your mouth and spreading your business around this bitch and the next thing you know, we’d both be dead up in here.” She pushed me away as if I stunk but
she had a valid point.
I was about to blast her ass and put her on front street. I looked around and noticed all eyes were on me.
“I understand you want someone to hate but I’m not the one and if you’re acting this way with me, I can only imagine how you’ve been treating my daughter.” I was busted on all counts; it was written all over my face.
“So?” I puffed up like a damn blowfish and the best that I could come back with was, so? If I wasn’t so mad, it would’ve been funny. For months, I told myself what I would do if I ever met the woman who killed my mother and all I said was a lame-ass so?
She started laughing, which only fueled my anger. I pushed her, but she quickly shut me down.
“Are you out your fucking mind?” she hissed. “Do you want to wind up in even more trouble than you’re already in?” She roughly grabbed my arms, forcing me to sit still next to her. “I know you don’t like me and I can honestly understand how you feel, but the only reason I was at the place where your mother was killed was to help your Aunt Kym. I didn’t even know your mother was there. Now whether or not you believe me is entirely on you, but the next time you come running at me like a damn banshee I’m going to knock the shit out of you. Do we understand each other?” she demanded.
I wanted to get up and get as far away from Astoria as the bars would allow, but what good would it do? The situation would still be the same no matter where I went. At least now, I had an opportunity to find out what really happened.
I nodded, but she went on as if she hadn’t expected a response. “Did you get picked up for DUI?”
Embarrassed, I nodded yes. The alcohol was assaulting my own nose so I knew she got a whiff of it as well.
“Was my daughter with you?”
I was still upset so I didn’t hesitate to speak my mind. “I don’t roll with that bitch like that,” I replied.
“Thank God for small favors.”
“What’s that supposed to mean? Last time I saw her she was shaking her ass at the club.” If my mind wasn’t entrenched in such a fog, I might’ve been quicker to my feet, but Astoria caught me before I could get away. Her nails dug into my arms as she forced me to remain seated next to her. She leaned in closer, allowing her hot breath to heat my already flushed face.
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