“Careful,” she warned, but I was too stupid to heed the warning in her voice.
“I didn’t know your little girl could get down like that,” I taunted, gaining satisfaction when I saw the pain reflected in Astoria’s eyes.
She released my arms but my relief was short-lived. She grabbed my chin with one hand while holding a small knife in her other hand. She held it dangerously close to my neck.
“Are you fucking crazy?” I demanded, which I immediately regretted. I knew this was not the best thing to say to a bitch holding a knife.
“Astoria, what are you doing?” warned another inmate, who was watching our exchange with great interest.
“I’m about to take out the garbage.”
Was she calling me trash? The inmate edged closer to us and I silently prayed she could talk some sense into Valencia’s mother.
“Astoria, look at me.”
She did not release her grip on my chin nor did she look away from my face.
“Look at me, damn it,” the inmate demanded.
“Yeah, look at her,” I said.
“You might want to shut the fuck up before she cuts you,” the inmate said.
Astoria turned her head, but she still didn’t let me go.
“You’re about to start some shit that won’t only affect you, it will hurt us all. I love you, girl, like a sista from another mother, but I’m not getting stuck up in no bullshit. You feel me?” the inmate demanded.
Astoria relaxed her grip and I was able to pull my face away. She put the makeshift knife away.
Relieved, I made a mental note not to fuck with her again.
“Thank you.” The inmate rolled back over on her bunk, dismissing us.
“Look, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said what I did, but your daughter and I haven’t exactly seen eye to eye.” Her posture relaxed and I felt a little more comfortable in the most uncomfortable place I’ve ever been in my life.
She relaxed a little. “I guess that’s how she made the money to hire a lawyer for me.”
It was more of a statement than a question, but I answered it anyway. “Yeah, she told my cousin that she wanted to make sure you were okay.”
Her eyes began to water and I felt torn between offering her comfort instead of inflicting further pain.
“I didn’t kill your mother, a guy named Trent did,” Astoria said as her shoulders heaved.
She cried silently, but I could feel her pain. Instead of returning to my bunk, I sat on hers and held her hand. It was the most that I could do for her at the moment.
“When did you start dancing?”
“Shortly after I moved here. What can I say?; I can’t stay with my uncle forever.” Even though I didn’t know this woman from a can of paint, her opinion of me counted. I searched her face for clues as to how she felt about my dancing but I could not read her stoic features.
“What about Valencia?” Her voice was different this time, harder, if that was possible.
“Last night was the first time I saw her,” I said, shrugging my shoulders. I didn’t give a fuck about her child and I wasn’t about to pretend I did.
“So you think she’s been dancing longer?” She had started pulling at threads from her orange jumpsuit.
“I don’t really know; I asked Spears but he told me he didn’t hire her. Like I said before, she don’t say much to me.” She didn’t need to know that Valencia asked me to get her the job, but I refused. Especially since I didn’t know how long I was going to have to stay in this hellhole.
“Roberts, you have a visitor.”
I could tell she was surprised to hear she had a visitor by the look on her face, but she also appeared scared.
“We’ll finish this conversation when I get back.” It felt more like a threat than a promise.
Chapter Twenty
VALENCIA ROBERTS
“Hello?” My phone ringing ended the best dream I’d had in years.
“Valencia, this is Ricardo. Did I wake you?” I sat up straight, wiping the crud out of my eyes.
“Uh . . .” I flung back the covers, searching for my clock to find out what time it was.
He started laughing. “Don’t even bother to lie, I can hear it in your voice.” He laughed again. He didn’t even know me well and already he had me pegged.
“Okay, you got me. What time is it?”
“Almost two. I’m about to go see your mother and I wanted to know if you wanted to take a ride with me.”
“Can you do that? I thought it was supposed to be an attorney-client visit.” I started pulling on my clothes even though I was still upset with her.
“Since you’re the one paying me, you are technically the client. Besides, if you come with me, you can have a little more privacy with your mother.”
“I’ll be ready in ten minutes but I need twenty-five minutes or so to get to your office.” I had my tennis shoes on and was looking for a brush to pull back my hair.
“Give me the address and I’ll pick you up.” I stopped. I didn’t want Ricardo to see where I lived and I definitely didn’t want him to come inside. It was silly of me to be so vain, especially since he already knew the address.
“How long before you get here?”
“I’ll be there in about fifteen minutes,” he replied.
“Okay, I’ll be ready.” I ran around the room looking for earrings and a matching top to the jeans that I’d slipped on. I raced out to the front room to grab my hat and ran smack-dab into my stepfather.
“Where the fuck are you running off too? Shit, you just brought your raggedy ass in here.” He reeled toward me as I propelled backward. He was stinking to the high heavens. From the smell of him, he probably hadn’t had a bath in at least three or four days. Although my stepdad let me come and go as I pleased, it would be just my luck he’d act an ass today, so I decided to tell him the truth.
“I’m going back to see Momma.” I held my head down, expecting for him to go off but he surprised me and backed away.
The snarl that normally adorned his face disappeared and for a brief moment he smiled. But just as abruptly as it appeared, it was gone and so was he. He turned around and stumbled back to his room, slamming the door behind him.
I was grateful he didn’t tell me to tell my mother to kiss his nasty ass. I shook my head as I eased the front door closed behind me. I silently thanked God for answering my prayers. Soon, I would be leaving this place and the memories it contained. I couldn’t wait to say good-bye to the drama.
Visiting my mother with Ricardo was an entirely different process. Although we still had to go through the metal detector, we didn’t have to wait long to see her. Ricardo placed his briefcase on the desk as we waited for her to be brought in.
“Relax. You look like a mouse in a roomful of traps,” Ricardo said.
“I know, I just hate coming here.”
“Good, then I don’t have to worry about coming here to visit you.” He sat back and put his arms behind his head.
“You got that right. As soon as I get Mom squared away, I’m leaving to go to school in Boston.”
“That’s what I like to hear. There is nothing like a good education. What do you plan to study?”
Before I could answer, my mother entered the room. She eyed Ricardo first, but her gaze locked on me as her handcuffs were removed. Once again, I could tell that she’d been crying. Ricardo stood and I followed his lead. I wasn’t sure if I could to touch my mother.
“Mom.” I stepped forward but she pushed me back.
“Since when did you start shaking your ass for money?”
I was stunned into silence. My mother never asked me how I got the money to pay Ricardo and since she didn’t ask, I hadn’t bothered to tell her.
“I—uh—um—”
“I—um hell. Either you’re dancing or you’re not. Which one is it?”
Ricardo appeared to study our exchange.
I was so embarrassed, I didn’t know what to say. I never
wanted them to know about the dancing.
“Wait, hold on a minute, Mrs. Roberts, or may I call you Astoria?”
My mother acted as if she was seeing Ricardo for the first time. I was relieved that he was taking control of the situation, giving me time to think.
“Sorry, I wasn’t being rude but I just found out my daughter’s been shaking her ass at a fucking strip club.”
I felt like I was two years old, because my mother made no attempt to hide her irritation with me. I was so ashamed, I wanted the floor to open up and swallow me. I stood up, desperately wanting to flee the room.
“I wish the fuck you would try to leave. Sit your ass down.” My mother’s hands were balled into fists.
I knew she meant business. I turned on her. “What other choice did I have, Mom? Did you expect me to let you sit in this jail and rot?” My eyes begged for understanding as tears flowed from them.
“Damn that.” My mother jumped to her feet as I cowered in my seat.
Ricardo rushed forward and firmly persuaded my mother back into her chair. “Mrs. Roberts, physical violence never solved anything. Now, I can understand how angry you are but I can also understand why your daughter did it. Now, let’s all take a deep breath so we can deal with this situation.”
My mother shot dirty looks at both of us but she did as she was told.
“Valencia, are you dancing to pay for my services?”
Was this a rhetorical question? How the hell else did either of them expect me to get money?
“Don’t you dare judge me. I did what I had to do.” I wanted to leave so badly but my mother’s threat was still hanging in the room.
“Mrs. Roberts, had I known what you daughter was doing, I would have refused.”
My heart felt like it was going to leap out of my chest.
“What do you mean?” The words seemed to get stuck in my mouth.
“Just what I said. I’m very upset with you, Valencia, you should have told me.”
“I couldn’t; Do you know how hard this has been? I can’t believe this shit.” I jumped up and paced the room. “My mother is in jail—my stepfather is a drunk and couldn’t give a shit—I just graduated from high school, what the fuck did y’all expect me to do? Sell pussy? Would that have made you happy?” I screamed.
The officer who escorted my mother in barged into the room, headed straight for her. She was also on her feet.
“Wait, Officer. Things got out of hand, but we’re good now,” Ricardo said.
He shot warning looks to my mother and me. “I got this,” he reiterated. He lowered his outstretched hands, effectively putting us in check. The officer halted, but didn’t immediately leave us alone.
“It’s okay, Officer, I got this,” Ricardo firmly repeated.
The officer gave each of us another hard look and left the room. We sat in silence for a few minutes.
“Okay, now that everybody is on the same page, let’s start again. As I said a minute ago, if I had known your daughter was ‘working’ to pay for my services, I would have offered to take your case pro bono. I have a little girl too, so there is no way I would condone a child working in a club, regardless of the circumstances.”
“So you’re going to quit?”
My heart was beating so loudly I thought I’d misunderstood what he said.
“I’ll stay if you quit working.”
I sat back in my chair. As much as I hated dancing in the club, I needed the money for school. The tuition was covered but I needed books and other school supplies.
“Do we have a deal?” His hand was on his briefcase as he waited for my decision.
“She’s done,” my mother answered for me with a decisive nod of her head.
“What about school? I need money for books and stuff,” I whispered. School was very important to me; it was my only way out.
“You will have everything you need. Promise me you’ll quit the club, and I’ll testify against Trent Spears. I wanted to protect him since he’s Valencia’s father, but since he allowed his child to dance at the club, I’m done,” my mother announced.
“Wait, are you telling us the guy at the club is my father?” I wanted to believe her but she’d let me down before, so it was difficult. How could I be sure she wasn’t lying to me again?
“I agree with your mother. You can use the money you gave me for a retainer for your supplies. I’ll write you a check when we get back to my office.”
What should have been a tremendous weight lifted off my shoulders felt like a trade-off of unreasonable proportions.
“Good. Desperation and degradation lead to terrible decisions, especially when fast money is involved, so I’m glad you are getting out.” Ricardo turned his attention to my mother.
I could tell she was still upset with me but was relieved when I said I would quit. She stood up and held out her arms and I rushed into them, in spite of my pain. I hadn’t realized how much I’d missed the feeling until I was in her arms again. The mood in the room began to change as we sat down and started discussing how Ricardo was going to handle my mother’s case. I still needed to work on how I was going to deal with all this information. I also wanted to know how she knew about my dancing at the club, but I’d deal with that later.
“I’m meeting with the clerk of the court this afternoon and I’m going to request that your case be put in on the docket. I’m also going to ask that you be allowed to post bond. Is there anything in your past that will prevent you from getting a bond?”
“No.”
“Good. I’m not going to make any promises but I’ll do everything in my power to speed things along.” Ricardo stood up and started gathering his things.
I followed his lead even though I wanted to spend more time with my mother. We had a lot to talk about.
“Thank you so much for not only helping me, but my daughter too.”
“Don’t worry about it. I got a mom and a daughter, so I’m sensitive like that. Just don’t tell anyone.”
“We won’t,” we answered at the same time, laughing.
“Just kidding. But you could do me a favor? Have you met another inmate by the name of Ebony Queen?” Ricardo asked.
“Yeah, she’s in the same cell with me.”
“Perfect. Would you tell her that I’ll be in the courtroom as her attorney? She doesn’t know me, but tell her Valencia told me to come see about her.”
“Okay, I’ll tell her,” my mother said. The jangle of her jailhouse bracelets drowned out her sobs as she was led from the room.
“It’s not fair,” I cried into Ricardo’s shoulder.
“Things will move faster, Valencia, you’ll see.” He held me until I was able to stop crying.
“Are you going to wait for me while I go see about Ebony or do you want to hook up later?”
“I’ll get with you later. I need to go do a few things.”
“I hope you meant what you said about leaving the dancing alone.”
“Without a doubt. I never wanted to do it in the first place but I didn’t have much of a choice.”
“I understand. I just don’t want to see you caught up in some stuff you can’t get out of.”
Chapter Twenty-One
VALENCIA ROBERTS
TWO MONTHS LATER
“Shit, how come every time we go out somewhere this bitch starts wilding out and gets pissy drunk. Then we wind up in the fuckin’ bathroom holding her hair out the toilet?”
“Bitch, shut up and just hold the fucking door.” Reshunda glared at me from over her shoulder. She was bent over, braced against the wall, trying to keep Ebony’s face from actually touching the basin. It was not a pretty sight, but one that I’d grown used to.
“I ain’t gonna be too many more of your bitches.” I stepped away from the door, allowing it to close. This was a familiar scene and I was glad it was the last time I’d be part of it. I was leaving for school in the morning and this was to be my going-away celebration.
“Valenci
a, open the fucking door, it stinks in here,” Reshunda shouted.
I could tell she was mad but I was mad too. I was sick of doing the same fucking thing every time we got together. If I wasn’t leaving, I wouldn’t have come, but Reshunda and Ebony begged me to come. Ever since Ebony got out of jail, her attitude toward me was different and while I wouldn’t call us friends, we weren’t enemies.
I forgave Ebony because she provided the missing piece of the puzzle that resulted in the charges against my mother being dropped.
“Then bring your stank ass out of there. I don’t see why we’ve got to take turns holding that bitch up because her stupid ass wanna drink up the entire bar.” I was beyond pissed. Although I tolerated Ebony when she was sober, she was a mean drunk and I couldn’t stand being around her when she was like that. My mother said that a drunk mind speaks a sober heart or some shit like that. I couldn’t really remember exactly how the saying went, but I was close enough to it.
“Bitch, I ain’t playin’ witchu’. Open the fucking door.” Reshunda was kicking at the bathroom door.
“I told you to leave that lush at the house,” I spat, as I angrily pushed against the door.
“Fuck you,” Ebony sputtered as she threw up again. She completely missed the toilet even though Reshunda was propping her up. If the shit wasn’t so disgusting, it might have been funny.
“No, fuck you and your trifling ass.” I stepped into the stall, ready to dunk her head under the water but the stench coming up out of the stall made me back up.
“Ugh, how can you stay in there?” I backed away from the stall again, allowing the door to close. I loved Reshunda to death but there was no way I was going to stand there and breathe in those toxic fumes. I pulled my travel-sized bottle of perfume from my tiny clutch and sprayed some on my clothes and into the air.
“Y’all got me wasting my perfume up in here .”
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