The Masseuse

by Marianne Brun

  “I’m coming.” His breathing became heavy and uneven. She knew he didn’t wait for the elevator beside his office as she heard him run down the stairs. Her nose ran. She slid her hand over her face, and had the urge to tear at her skin and scream in the dirty, half-built basement at her husband who was running toward her but mostly at herself for being so stupid as to have walked down those steps.

  She brought her legs to her chest and hugged them. Still she wanted to wrap up tighter, become a ball of rigid flesh with no holes and weak points of defense.

  Colin seemed to be running through his parking garage. There was an echo of his breathing. She knew he was going fast so reality couldn’t catch up with him. Sobs had answered his question What happened? And he had not asked it again. She heard a door open and slam.

  “I’m in the car, where are you?” Colin asked.

  “The last house, in the basement...” There was a silence she wanted to fight against but couldn’t. “The one that isn’t finished…”

  Kate stared at cement, and heard his Why? in the deep breath he threw at her. “I need to put the phone down okay, but it’s on. I can hear you, okay, Kate? Kate?”

  She realized she had been nodding and it wasn’t enough. Still the word had to climb its way out. “Okay.”

  The ground must have been cold but Kate didn’t feel it, nor did she feel the stones and dirt that would leave tiny pockmarks on her skin. She felt nothing but the strange openness of this place. It spread in front of her, reached for the sky and made her feel smaller than the rats she saw scurrying from a hole in the far corner of the room. They didn’t bother her. When she arrived, she thought the sight of them would make her queasy but little reached her now.

  Besides, they stayed away and told her the world would not stop, even with the imprints of her attacker’s hands on her. His weight pressed into her mind and she shook her head. She couldn’t think of what he had done, how easily he had moved into her and split her open, like a piece of fruit.

  She didn’t want to see his face, but it was there along with his half-closed eyes and moaning mouth. He’d explored her again and again, took every part of her skin and chewed it up so she felt dirty right down to the soles of her feet. When she saw him in court weeks later, she stared right at him because she had to take his eyes filled with need and heaving mouth away and replace it with his stony expression. His hate was easier to view than his possession.

  “Kate!” Colin was outside. She couldn’t answer. Suddenly, she didn’t want to be seen or touched. “Kate?”

  Blame drifted to her and she had no defense against that. “Still here...”

  She heard him on the floor above her, then moving down the steps. She wanted to hide, bury herself within the rubble of this house and everything she had believed in. Her head fell on wrapped knees.

  “My God, Kate, Jesus.” Colin stumbled toward her. She felt his arms on her shoulders and leaned into him. The phone toppled from her hands when she clutched his sweaty shirt. She didn’t want to unwrap her legs and show her torn clothes or let loose the smell that would tell the story in quick slaps.

  He pulled her to him. She felt anger on the breath that touched her head. For a long time, he held her, then pushed her away and looked at her softly. He grazed her tearstained cheek with his hand. “We need to get you to a hospital. Can you stand?”

  She didn’t want to but he didn’t wait, lifting her to her feet. Trembling and twisted, her legs felt weak. She thought she would throw up, but the feeling stayed in her throat.

  He put an arm around her and half-carried her, as if she was an old, broken woman. She held his hand in the car and sat in the passenger seat, looking lost. She slid toward the door and rested her head. She felt Colin glancing at her. Away from the helplessness of seclusion and tossed stone, she turned to him, and he asked coldly, “Did you know him?”

  Hesitantly, the answer came. “Yes, I met him twice before.”

  “For houses?”

  She nodded.

  “Why did you meet him there today?”

  Kate mistook his shaking voice for concern. “He wanted to,” she whispered.

  She felt his glare on her cheek. “He wanted to but you didn’t, not today.”

  “Colin!” she shrieked, but he had turned away. She waited, silently pleading him to look at her, but he refused to meet her gaze.

  Chapter 5

  Kate wasn’t scheduled to work at the massage parlor but she had to get out of the house. She couldn’t stay after what had happened with Colin at breakfast. They were like strangers. No, it was worse than that—strangers didn’t hate each other. The way he had looked at her across the table tore her apart. She had cried for an hour after he left, hoping between sobs he would call to see if she was okay. He used to check up on her. She couldn’t remember when he’d stopped.

  The phone stayed silent. With solitude bearing down on her and her pillow wet, she felt empty and drained and was tempted to go back to bed and sleep the day away. But too much time had been already wasted. Life had begun to slip through her fingers and she couldn’t risk losing any more hours.

  She rang the parlor. Sasha didn’t answer. Instead, there was a new, deep voice. The speaker sounded like a man but her name was Aisling. She said it was all right for Jade to come in. There were only three girls on: Sarah, Nikki and a new girl, Ruby, who started last night and made a killing. Kate was glad to hear Sarah was in, and the thought of Nikki in her little white outfit that looked fit for a doll and her beautiful, open face made her smile.

  Kate left the dishes, unable to face the length of the table and the irreconcilable space between her and her husband. Even these small reminders would make her feel weak. She shut the front door quietly, as if there was a chance Jeanne could hear her next door, and walked down her path, knowing she had always felt, since the very first day, that Colin blamed her.

  * * * *

  Aisling opened the parlor door for Jade. She was tall with short red hair and a long face. She wore a leather miniskirt and her black top squeezed her breasts together. Freckles peeked from every corner of her body. Jade was sure she had a sex change—her large hands and deep voice gave it away—but in the courtyard later, Jade joked with Sarah, “Her breasts are better than mine.”

  Jade enjoyed the feel of the sun on her face and legs. She was nervous but not scared. The girls’ chatter had lightened her mood and she let the morning’s hurt fall away from her.

  The bell rang and Jade straightened, which brought a reassuring smile from Sarah. “I’ll go first and then I can tell you what to expect,” she told Jade.

  “Thanks.” Jade watched her friend walk away and her nerves eased.

  Sarah came back, beaming. “He’s gorgeous and young. I’ve no idea why he’s here. I hope Ruby doesn’t get him.”

  Nikki was second to meet him. On her return, she looked disappointed. “Don’t get your hopes up. He’s been here twice before. He looks at the girls and leaves.”

  “Bloody tease,” said Sarah, whose eyes still sparkled.

  Then Marcy and Ruby went. Marcy had black hair and a large, frumpy body. Jade thought it strange Aisling didn’t mention her on the phone. Marcy was like Ruby’s shadow and didn’t speak to anyone but her. Sarah jokingly wondered if she was Ruby’s silent pimp, but as the morning progressed, the idea didn’t seem so ridiculous.

  Jade waited until Marcy came back and settled on the couch in the living room before she went to meet the new client. He was tall with curly black hair and had a frown on his face when she entered the room. She noticed his bright blue eyes straight away and her stomach lurched. She was supposed to walk in front of him, say her name, smile and exit with as much sexiness as could be mustered, but she couldn’t resist walking closer to him and putting her hand out, wanting to feel his skin and know he was real. “Hi, I’m Jade.”

  He glanced at her hand, then at her face. For a second, before his frown changed to a look of amusement, she felt ridiculous. She
wore a black slip and high heels and had gone for a handshake as if it were a business meeting.

  His grip was firm. She was sure relief flickered in his brilliant eyes. By the time he let go, she was flustered. He wasn’t like the other clients she had introduced herself to. He didn’t look at her body as if he owned it. He stayed focused on her face, yet she felt his gaze everywhere on her. “Hi, Jade. I’m Christian.” His voice was soft.

  She nearly tripped when she was leaving the room from trembling so much. Sarah’s eyebrows rose when she got back to the table. “Well?”

  Jade’s smile couldn’t form and she thought she must look like a blundering idiot. “Yes, he’s gorgeous and sweet.”

  “Sweet?” Sarah laughed. “I don’t know about that. He’s here, after all.”

  “He never stays,” Nikki piped up.

  Aisling came around the corner. “Jade.”

  “Yeah?” Jade turned to Aisling and smiled.

  She didn’t think anything until Sarah hit her on the arm. “You lucky bitch.”

  Nikki giggled, and Ruby threw Jade a dirty look as she passed.

  Jade walked back to Christian and tried to hide her nervousness. Still, she was sure it was obvious in the way she avoided his gaze as she beckoned him to follow her. As she went up the stairs with him close behind, he made her more aware of herself than she had been in a long time. Her skin came to life and tingled like a dead arm once the blood starts again.

  When they were in the room, Jade saw Christian’s lips were wide. “I’d like an hour…” He handed her the gift certificate and laughed. “My friends have weird a sense of humor. They got it for my birthday. I…” He shook his head.

  “You don’t have to explain.”

  “I think I do.” They stared at each other until his smile brought her out of her daze.

  “You can shower while I bring this to the office.” Her voice was all-business now.

  “I don’t think a shower is necessary.”

  She led him toward the bathroom. “It’s obligatory.”

  “Oh.” He laughed. She had no idea why.

  He closed the door and she waited for the sound of the shower. When it came on, she ran downstairs with light steps. Aisling smiled with raised eyebrows. “Enjoy.”

  When Jade returned, Christian was sitting on the wicker chair with a towel around his waist. Tanned and muscled, his chest was smooth. His long legs were stretched before him, making him look the picture of relaxation.

  Jade started taking off her clothes. She touched the strap on her shoulder, but he shook his head and she froze. “It’s okay. There’s no need.”

  “It’s what I’m supposed to do.”

  Can we just talk for a while?”

  “First?”

  He nodded. “First.” Then he gestured to the table. “Sit.”

  She did. Her legs reached for the floor and she watched his gaze take them in. She didn’t know what to say. With him half-naked before her, the air was charged. She wondered what he looked like without the towel and if he would have noticed her in the world outside.

  “You’re beautiful,” he said, as if reading her thoughts. “Why are you here?”

  “To work.”

  “No, there’s something else.”

  Her hands rested flat on her knees. He looked at them and she knew he was looking for a wedding ring. It wasn’t there. She’d taken it off before she came in. She didn’t want to advertise her marriage or talk about her life outside the parlor. On reflex, she hid her hands under her legs like a mischievous child caught with the cookie jar.

  “I suppose Jade isn’t your real name either.”

  She didn’t want to talk about herself. “Why are you here?”

  He shrugged. “I was bored.”

  “And?”

  “Curious.”

  “Do you want a massage?”

  “How long have you been working here?” She shook her head, and he laughed. “I told you I’m curious.”

  “This is my third day.”

  “How many men have you seen?” When she didn’t answer, he asked, “It’s a full-body massage, right?”

  She nodded.

  “How many?”

  “You’re my second client.”

  “‘Client.’ That sounds awful.”

  “It’s what you are.”

  “I didn’t mean that. I meant…” He sighed. “Is it safe for a beautiful woman to be naked with a strange man?”

  “Is it safe anywhere?”

  Something seemed to click behind his piercing eyes, and all of a sudden she felt naked. She wanted to wrap her arms around herself and stop him from discovering things about her. Instead she jumped off the table. “I better give you that massage.”

  “Is it easier?”

  She sighed. “Is what easier?”

  “To touch rather than talk?”

  “I’m not here to talk.”

  “You’re getting mad.”

  She felt he was mocking her. “I don’t know what you want.”

  He shrugged. “I’ve been here twice before. A friend came when he split up with his girlfriend and wouldn’t stop talking about the gorgeous Chinese girl. He liked it ’cause it was clean and the girls were professional, so he felt safe.” He paused. “Though a few do extras, don’t they?”

  She didn’t know who he was talking about. No one was allowed to offer extras. “No, it’s against the rules. Why did your friends buy the certificate for you?”

  “I haven’t been with a girl for a while.”

  “How long is a while?”

  “A year.” She shrugged, and he smiled. “You think that’s no big deal?” She repeated the gesture. “How long has it been for you?”

  “We aren’t talking about me.”

  He raised his hands in defense. “Sorry, second time to get you mad in ten minutes.” In the wake of her lack of argument, he continued quickly, “I couldn’t stay before. There was no one I wanted to spend time with. When I saw you, though, I couldn’t leave. I wanted to find out about you.” He smiled. “I still do.”

  Jade didn’t know what to do. His eyes never left her.

  After a while, he sighed. “Would you prefer if I let you do your job?” He didn’t wait for an answer. He stood and dropped the towel. His body was as she imagined: perfect. His erection wasn’t complete but he was aroused as he walked toward her.

  She was against the table and was frozen with fright—not of him, but with her lack of strength. She didn’t know what he planned but couldn’t do anything. Her arms refused to lift and her mouth refused to open.

  Christian stopped so close that if she moved her hand, she would’ve touched his thigh. He moved his fingers to her left shoulder, and the feel of them on her skin made her swallow hard. He looked at her as if he wanted to uncover more than her body. He looked at her as if he knew her.

  One strap of her slip fell. Everything was done slowly, as if it was his first time to undress a woman and he wasn’t sure which direction to go. He moved his fingers between her shoulder and the remaining strap, and she could feel the warmth of his palm press into her skin as it moved down her arm.

  Her slip gave way to reveal her breasts. She could feel his breath on them and sensed his penis straightening and tightening. He went onto his haunches so his mouth was level with the part of her body that hadn’t felt another’s touch in two years. He slid the g-string down.

  Jade felt his sigh on her crotch .She expected to feel his fingers between her legs and closed her eyes, not knowing if she would be able to fight against him, though she would’ve hated him for it. He touched her foot and she felt relief soar with his shift of attention. She lifted it and he slipped her g-string off, and then did the same with her other foot. Christian stood with her underwear in his hands and looked her up and down. “Gorgeous.” Then he picked up her clothes and put them on the chair.

  She wished she had let him talk. The sexual tension rising between them was the strongest thing she
’d felt in a long time. It silenced him and made her forget how to smile. She was lost in it. The only thing she could do was touch his body. “Lie down.”

  He lay on his stomach, his chin in his hands. She didn’t tremble as she put oil on him in small amounts. She didn’t worry about touching his penis, but she was afraid that once she did, he’d stop looking at her as if he had found a diamond in a quarry.

  His skin was smooth. She rubbed his back, moved to his buttocks and his legs. She felt his reaction when she teased his balls, and his hips rose. She moved up and down his inner thigh. Every now and again she felt him tense. Soon she was lost in the act of touching him softly some moments, kneading during others.

  Jade was at the end of the table and didn’t know whether to do the trick Jasmine taught her. Christian lay there, waiting. There was something lovely about him and she didn’t want him to think of her with other men, yet he was a client. He was here for this, even if curiosity brought him through the door.

  One knee went on the table, then her other.

  He looked back at her as she straddled his leg. She couldn’t smile. A part of her yearned to cry but she wanted him beneath her. Jade rubbed his buttocks before she lowered herself onto him. Her breasts touched his ass. His skin was tight and wonderful as she slid onto his back and rubbed her nipples on either side.

  His neck stretched as he tried to see her. Her bum was in the air and she felt coolness between her legs. By the slight rise of his hips, she knew his erection was full. She sat on his leg and he could feel the space that only moments ago he had touched with his eyes. Her pubis was dry. She didn’t expect miracles.

  When she rose, he didn’t look back. She could tell by his straight broad back he was surprised by her body slide. “Turn around.” Her voice came out low, and she sounded more certain than she was. She rose slightly so he could obey.

  When Christian complied, his eyes were soft. He had a slight, uncertain smile on his face. His penis lay against his stomach. Even if he was unsure, his erection wasn’t. She wanted to hold it. Instead, she poured oil on his stomach to tease him. He didn’t take his eyes off her as she rubbed his chest. When she brushed the tip of penis, he gasped.