He waited until the water stopped before he stood. He was sore but didn’t care if Kate noticed. He didn’t think she would. She’d be too nervous to register anything. He’d make sure of that.
* * * *
Christian pushed away from the wall. Kate stared at him, awed by his timing. Why was he waiting for her today of all days when she was going home, scared her husband might finally make love to her?
“I talked to the receptionist. She told me you were finishing soon.”
She glanced at the building and expected to see Danielle’s face at the curtain, but there was no one there. She felt as if Christian could take her hand and lead her anywhere. “Why are you here?”
“I…” He sighed. “I saw you in the shower.”
She bristled. Anger rose, and it would wash everything away if he gave it a chance.
“I was afraid you would go to someone else.”
I’m married! she nearly screamed at him. I am going home to make love to another man—my husband!
But she couldn’t. She didn’t want him to walk away from her.
He moved closer. “Do you have time to come back to my apartment, give me half an hour? I want to show you something.” He seemed sad all of a sudden. Did her face tell him she belonged somewhere else? “It’s not far, a ten-minute walk.”
Kate didn’t want to speak. She was afraid the sound of her own voice would rise in argument and bring her crashing back to reality.
Christian waited patiently. His smile quivered slightly and brought a nod.
They walked without speaking. His hand brushed hers every now and again but she didn’t mind. It was nice to be beside him with the lovely blue sky over their heads and her bag around her shoulder, as if she was a schoolgirl. He glanced at her every so often and it warmed her.
When they were near his apartment, he slowed and she followed his lead. She didn’t want their stroll to cease. For those few moments, she had forgotten herself. They stood facing each other as he dug in his pocket for the key. She thought she saw worry on his face.
He pushed open the door and gestured for her to enter. The dark hallway made her anxiety rise. What was she doing, going into a stranger’s apartment? Had she not learned her lesson?
“It’s okay,” he said, and she wanted to believe him.
“What do you want to show me?”
“You won’t come up?” There was more than disappointment in his voice.
She was sure he understood her fear. “I don’t know you.”
“I won’t hurt you.”
She couldn’t do it twice: take those words as armor, follow a man, smile as he turned to her and ask him, “Well, what is it?” before his eyes made her blood turn cold. To hold onto the belief that this couldn’t be happening, as he stepped toward her, was impossible. She couldn’t do it again.
“My beautiful Jade.”
She closed her eyes to the name. That was not who she was. Jade would be able to walk up those steps without a second thought. A memory of a heavy, sweaty weight would not hold Jade down. “I’m not Jade.” She took a deep breath. “I’m Kate.”
Christian’s eyes shone with gratitude. “Kate,” he said, as if it was the first time he’d ever heard that name. “Why are you so scared?”
Her smile was shaky. “What do you want to show me? Can you bring it down?”
“It’s a bit big. Will you not walk up the steps at least?”
She shook her head. “I can’t. Not again.”
He squinted, and his mouth tightened in frustration before he took a deep breath. “Wait here.”
She watched him disappear into the gloom and understood he was not angry at her. Colin had been the opposite.
Kate lifted her face to the sun as she waited. It warmed her skin. She imagined what it would be like to follow Christian up those stairs, to look around his place and learn something about him. Would they drink coffee and talk through the discomfort of getting to know each other, or would her jumpiness make her stand and move around his room like a nervous bird? Would she let him touch her face as she knew he wanted to and reach out to trace his lips? She would never know. She couldn’t take the chance.
Kate heard something bang off the walls and she pushed the door open. He stumbled down the stairs with a large canvas in his hands. It looked hard to maneuver. He could barely see over it.
“Wait, I’ll help you.”
“It’s okay.” He grunted. “Just step out of the way.”
She giggled when he got to the last step and his legs wobbled. “There must be a better way to do that.”
“Yeah, there is.” She knew he meant her going up. A few hours ago, his sarcasm would’ve annoyed her, but with his humorous tone, it didn’t bother her at all.
He managed to get out the door sideways. She raised her eyebrows, smiling. He dropped the canvas and held it against him, watching her until she grew impatient.
“Go on, show me then.”
“I don’t know if I should. You look so happy now.”
She tilted her head. “What is it?”
He lifted the canvas and turned it around. She gasped. Her portrait was beautiful. She looked at Christian and to the painting again. She tightened her grip on the strap of her bag as her gaze took the curves of her body, the round, small breasts, flat stomach and shaved crotch, which was half hidden behind bent legs. The pose was shy yet seductive.
Her body hypnotized her. It had been so long since she had studied and known it. She had been detached from it, as if it was something bringing her down, and now here it was in its glory, right down to the beauty mark on her shoulder. She had forgotten about that but now she touched it.
She lowered her hand when she saw her face. Her eyes pulled her in. There was so much behind them. She saw sadness in their softness but strength in the intensity of her stare. The girl in the painting looked at the viewer without wanting to. It seemed, with the slight drop to her head, all she wanted to do was shield her eyes, but she refused to cower.
All Kate had seen when she looked in the mirror during the past two years was weakness, her inability to fight back. She’d seen nothing of the vibrant, independent woman she had once known. She had disappeared in the stains of a cold cement floor. Her reflection through Colin’s eyes was nervous and unsure. It did not build her up.
“Why did you paint me like that?”
“I had no choice.”
“That’s not me.”
Christian’s laugh was full of relief. She knew he had expected anger. “It’s what I see.”
“Why did you show me?”
“The face isn’t perfect. I need to paint with you in front of me.”
“Naked?”
“You don’t have to be.”
“It can’t happen. I’m not going in there.”
He put the painting on the ground. She found it hard to take her eyes of it. It was so like her yet so foreign. She thought there was more life on the canvas than under her skin.
“What if you bring someone with you? How about that girl you left with today?” He shrugged. “Or a male friend if you want. I don’t mind.”
“Let me think about it.”
“Okay.”
Her smile was soft. “I have to go.” She turned to leave, her movement slow, her steps small.
“Kate?”
She liked the sound of her name coming from him, like nothing of the past was tied onto it. “Yes?”
Christian lifted the canvas. “Do you want this?”
She imagined bringing it home to Colin. How could she explain her nakedness when he had barely looked upon it in the last few years? How could she explain the strength in her eyes that died when he looked at her? “I can’t take it.”
“We could start a new drawing Monday.”
She waved his suggestion away but only halfheartedly, so it stuck and started to sound like a promise.
* * * *
“A promise?”
“Yes.” Colin didn�
��t look at Melanie, who lay on her side, watching him. His slid his shoe on and straightened.
“You mean you’re going to fuck your wife for the first time in two years because she made you promise, even if you don’t want to?”
He moved his shoulders back in defense and tightened his jaw. “That is not what I said.”
Melanie smiled. “Hey.” He turned, and she went onto her back, her legs spread. “If you still have some in you—” She moved his fingers down her stomach to her pussy. “—I’m right here.” His hard gaze made her still. “God, what’s up with you?”
“What do you think?”
The air grew heavy around her. She sat up and he moved quickly toward the door. Her mouth opened in surprise as he disappeared without a word. It usually took him a long time to leave. He’d reach the door only to look back at her on the bed and would not be able to resist touching her once more. But tonight was different.
In their year together, whenever Melanie brought up his wife, his body tensed and his mouth turned in a way that said he felt nothing for Kate. There was a different tension tonight. She wondered what his wife was in for. Her stomach tingled. She lay back and closed her eyes, trying to figure what she felt now: jealousy or sympathy.
* * * *
Kate breathed a sigh of relief in the empty garage. It was past six but she didn’t care where Colin was. She went into her bedroom slowly. With her bag of lingerie, makeup and a pair of black high heels, she felt like an intruder, not Kate McKenzie, Colin’s quiet, suffering wife.
She opened her wardrobe doors and threw the bag into the corner. The air was weighty on her back and arms. She closed the doors and looked at herself in the wardrobe mirrors. Her shoulders were slumped slightly. Did that happen the moment she came home? At the parlor, she always saw a straight, confident line when she looked at her reflection. She pulled her shoulders back but her face felt too stiff. She moved her lips up slightly and squinted in a playful manner, and the smile finally came.
She threw off her light jacket. In her jeans and t-shirt, she took in her long legs, the flat stomach and round, pert bottom. She had studied herself in the mirror at work but there her appraisal felt like part of the act, the prologue. The body she’d viewed in slinky lingerie didn’t seem to be hers. Now, in the middle of her bedroom with the soft carpet below her and pictures on the walls, she felt solid and real.
The curves and colors of Christian’s painting flickered in her mind. Slowly, she went to the buttons of her blouse. She would find the similarities between the woman in the mirror and the woman captured on canvas. Her fingers shook as she worked. She listened for the car in the garage and her husband’s steps. This time his arrival would not stop her.
She pushed the blouse from her shoulders and unfastened her black bra to let it fall by her feet. Then she covered her breasts with her hands and bent her knee playfully. The air felt foreign on her pale skin. She caressed her nipples and watched in wonder as they grew erect. Her hazel eyes sparkled mischievously, and she reminded herself of a girl only beginning to discover her body.
There was something innocent about her face. Her eyes were more curious than the ones in the painting. Her mouth was free and curved. Her cheeks were flushed as she moved her hands lower and undid the button of her jeans. She smiled at her reflection as she pulled down her zipper and kept her eyes on her audience of one while she pushed the jeans down her legs. She threw the jeans on the bed and, in her g-string, she nodded and turned in a slow, swerving circle.
The garage door moaned below her. The eyes in the mirror changed, the colors moving in and out. Her smile vanished and her body stopped as if it had broken down.
She was about to reach for her jeans, but the quickness of her reflection brought her back and made her face herself head on. The girl she once was had been replaced by something older. Kate scowled at this new woman and watched with satisfaction as her eyes blazed and came to life. She moved slowly and with precision to the wardrobe and opened her bag.
Kate heard Colin approach, his steps slower than usual. She forced herself to move steadily. Her arms and legs felt heavy. She took deep breaths to ease the nervous sickness rising in her belly.
Taking out her lingerie, she refused to think of Colin’s reaction. She felt the satin move over and cling to her skin, then closed the wardrobe doors. She squinted, her mouth puckered slightly, and stuck out her bottom and breasts. The soft fabric kissed her nipples. The air moved up her legs. She looked sideways at the bed and, with a quick movement, brushed her jeans off it. She turned to kick her blouse into the air. It landed in the middle of the floor. She walked to it and threw it on the side of the bed. All evidence of the woman who sat here, waiting for embraces from her husband and crying herself to sleep, was gone.
She turned and faced the door as Colin appeared. She saw his brown eyes open and shut like a slow-moving lens. He grasped the bottom of his jacket, as if for support as he looked her up and down. His back straightened and he moved his head, and she knew he was contemplating leaving. She didn’t care, not this time. It wasn’t about him. It was about the person she saw in the mirror, the person who no longer wanted to shrink away.
Kate stepped toward him, and her reflection disappeared. She knew the tight line of her mouth and the playful glint in her eyes surprised him. The way she moved with the slight sway of her hips and her breasts exposed would keep him fastened to the floor.
She stopped in front of him and she brought her hand to his crotch. She rubbed his penis and, with her hand remaining there, she circled his body slowly and stopped behind him. She felt the contours of his ass. He hadn’t budged, his arms still by his side.
Kate pressed against him as she circled his waist with her arms. She opened the button of his trousers, pulled down his zipper and heard his intake of breath. She slipped her hand inside his boxers and caressed his pubic hair. She felt the tip of his cock as it rose, as if on command. His trousers rubbed against her leg and her breasts flattened against his back. She smelled his cologne mixed with his body odor, the combined scent moving up her nostrils and bringing her whirling into the past. It had been so long since he filled her senses…
Kate stroked his smooth belly and chest, but Colin still hadn’t moved an inch. His body was rigid and tense, like he was a boy thrown into his first sexual experience. He didn’t stop her from fondling him, with the heat of her body on his back and the feel of her nipples pressing in on him. Kate wondered what he was thinking, what role he had assumed. She felt in control and, recognizing his stiff body and lack of movement, knew he was choosing to play the submissive. Even now, she realized they were both acting.
She wasn’t Kate. She puckered her mouth then licked her lips with provocative slowness. Without losing contact, she moved in front of him, her head down so she saw the swollen tip of his penis. She thought of him as a client. She would make him tremble with pleasure with her hands and mouth. She would gain control so in the future he’d come to her and beg for her body and the gratification only she could give.
Colin brushed her leg with his hand, but she grabbed it and pushed it back as she looked at him. His gaze fixed on her mouth, and his breath caught when she brought two fingers to the open, red moisture of her lips and licked. She kept her narrow gaze on his face as she found his penis. He tried to loosen her hold on his hand but it was a weak effort and made her grip tighten. When she smiled, his face stayed frozen.
He was a stranger to her now, showing no emotion with the feel of her body. It was as if he knew nothing of her at all and had merely walked into the house of a strange woman. But she wasn’t much better. It was not his body she yearned for. It was a need to combat her fear of intimacy. He was merely a means to an end. The thought fled as she brought her hands inside his trousers, but she couldn’t get rid of it entirely. It lingered like a malicious rumor as she pulled his trousers and boxers down, making her aware of his aloof detachment as she took his penis in her hands and her body lowered. With a
n easy, graceful movement, she was on her knees in front of him. She stroked his penis before she brought its tip to her lips, then flicked her tongue and tasted him.
Colin tensed as he watched her tongue move in and out of her mouth. He had always loved the tease. She knew by the tightening of his body that he wanted to take hold of her head and bring her toward him so he could feel the warmth of her all around him. She rested her lips gently on him and her tongue moved in circles. Then she opened her mouth, and he moaned as he disappeared inside. She put her arms around him and, with her hands on his buttocks, she pushed him deeper inside her warmth as she sucked.
Her body swayed as she licked his length. She felt him raise his hand but stop in midair. He hadn’t touched her yet and she didn’t want him to. She moved faster, and shut her eyes in relief when he dropped his hand and groaned. She fondled his balls as she felt his buttocks clench, and he shuddered. Within seconds, she tasted his cum. She licked the tip of his penis and sent tremors through his body before releasing him and swallowing.
She sat back and he finally touched her. “Katie?” She heard the surrender in his voice.
She jerked him off her shoulders as she stood, smiled and avoided his questioning eyes. “Welcome home.”
He bent to kiss her lips, and she did not pull away or move underneath him. When he straightened, she turned and walked into their en-suite bathroom without looking back. Her steps were long and sure, her mouth quivering slightly. She broke his gaze by closing the bathroom door and leaning against it, her confidence and certainty gone. Cinderella’s spell ended at midnight, hers finished with the taste of his cum in her mouth and the idea he might want to touch her in return.
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