Men of Mercy: The Complete Story

by Cross, Lindsay

  “You're laughing at me and I was seriously contemplating sitting through that?” Ranger was outraged. Damn female was driving him crazy.

  “No, I'm laughing because I'm happy.” She placed her palm against his cheek and rose up, searing his lips with a scorching kiss. When they broke apart they were both breathing hard.

  Distraction. He needed a distraction before he lost his resolve and laid her down on the couch right now. “So what movie do you feel like?”

  She sighed and he could tell she was thinking the same thing. Forget the movie let's go to bed. But he pulled on every ounce of willpower he possessed and resisted the urge. She needed time. And he would give it to her, whether she wanted it or not.

  “How about Super Troopers?”

  “Are you serious?” He couldn't believe what she just said. One of his all-time favorite comedies. “I thought you females hated that kind of stuff.”

  “Listen, if we’re going to get serious about this relationship, you've got to cut the sexist crap out. Just because I'm a woman doesn't mean I can't like movies like that.” Amy sent him a narrowed glance.

  His heart slammed in his chest. She wanted to give it a try? “A serious relationship?”

  “You’re the one who brought it up.”

  And you ran from me scared out of your mind. “Of course.”

  “So no more sexist stuff?” The small smile teasing her lips begged to be kissed.

  “Not sexist, babe. You just rose another notch in my estimation. The guys won’t believe me when I tell them.” Ranger could see the look on their faces, especially after hearing them whine about dates and having to put up with chick-flicks to get laid.

  “Good.” Her grin was huge and full of laughter and he tensed, knowing he wouldn’t like what was coming next. He’d learned to read her expressions and her smiles. And she was definitely giving her mischievous smile right now. “Because we're going to watch Titanic after this.”

  He groaned and fell back on the couch. He didn't know which one was worse. But then again, Titanic was three hours long. That meant three more hours he could hold her. And just because he was going to be hands off with the sex didn't mean they couldn't do some heavy petting on the couch. “Deal.”

  * * *

  Amy woke the next morning, stretched out on the couch, with Ranger’s arms wrapped around her. Sunlight streamed in through the semitransparent curtains in the living room. Titanic played on the TV, they’d fallen asleep in the middle of the movie. The second time around.

  Heat filled her cheeks when she thought about everything they’d done on the couch last night. They’d acted like lovesick teenagers. Going all the way to third-base but too scared to hit a home run. But Lord how she wanted to. Her nipples grew heavy and tight thinking about his callous roughened hands on her skin. If it hadn't been for Ranger’s restraint, they most definitely would've gone all the way. It certainly wasn't for her lack of trying. But he refused, stopping her every time her hand traveled too far south.

  In all honesty, Ranger’s insistence on holding back was working. Each day he remained sweet and sincere, he dug deeper, planting roots in her heart. Her thoughts about him mentioning marriage just to rescue a modern day damsel in distress had completely gone away. A man with a false sense of justice wouldn’t sacrifice his whole life for a woman he didn’t love and respect.

  Amy studied him, so content, so peaceful in his slumber. He was so handsome it hurt. And hearing him talking to Arturo last night had obliterated her defenses. She knew she was a lucky woman to have a man like him.

  But was she ready to take that lifelong leap of marriage? Not only marriage, but marriage to a Special Operations soldier who put his life on the line constantly. Ready to go through that insane worry every time he walked out the door. Was she really ready to deal with reality if he didn’t make it back?

  Amy got up and went to the kitchen and put on a pot of coffee. Ranger’s profession was the same as Shane’s. What if he didn’t come back on his own two feet, but laid out in a coffin?

  A thought almost as bad flittered through her mind - what if he cheated too? She’d trusted Shane and look what he’d done. He betrayed not only his wife, but his best friend and he’d taken advantage of a girl barely out of her teens. Amy poured a cup of coffee and took a cautious sip, daring the tongue burning to try and get rid of the bitter taste Shane’s betrayal left in her mouth.

  How could he have done that? How could he be so...callous. So unforgiving? How could he make her feel so damn guilty when he’d been the one to screw up in the first place? Had he sensed her hidden feelings for Ranger? She’d ignored them after her and Ranger’s break up all those years ago. She’d forced those thoughts for him down as far as they would go and remained true to Shane.

  Maybe that had been his plan all along, to pick a fight and ignore her until she had no hope but divorce. Only instead of divorce he’d gotten death.

  The early days of their marriage had been filled with lots of laughter and fun. Then he started leaving, more and more. And when he was home, he’d started drinking, more and more.

  And apparently he started screwing another woman.

  “Damn you, Shane Carter. Damn you for doing this to me.” Tears welled and spilled over. His death was a heavy enough burden, but his betrayal made her feel emotion so ugly it didn’t even have a name. She wiped her tears with a trembling hand. He didn’t deserve her tears. He didn’t deserve her thoughts. So why couldn't she stop crying?

  “Amy?”

  She spun around to see Ranger standing with his crutches, shirt just as wrinkled as his hair.

  “What's wrong, baby?”

  She couldn't speak, couldn't tell him the truth. He didn't want to hear that she was thinking about another man, even if it was her ex-husband. No man was that big of a saint. She steeled her nerve and forced a smile, even though it felt dead on her face. “Nothing.”

  Ranger hobbled over to her until she was trapped between his crutches and the counter, with no way to escape. “I know when you’re lying. Tell me the truth.” His voice was gentle and that only pulled more tears free. He should be stony, suspicious. Not caring.

  She held firm and squashed her thoughts back into the coffin they belonged in. “I swear, I'm being silly.”

  He cupped her cheek and held her hostage with the most startling blue eyes. “When are you going to learn I know you. I know your really happy smiles, because they reach all the way to your eyes. And I know your sad smiles, because your lips barely pull up. And I know your fake smiles – like the one you're giving me right now. Because your whole face freezes. There's no emotion.”

  His words stabbed sharp in her chest, causing her to react like a wounded animal, striking to avoid more pain. “Dammit Ranger, why can't you just leave it alone? You don't want to know what I'm thinking about right now.” She slapped his hand away.

  He didn’t move an inch. Amy wanted so bad to run away, but she was afraid she might kick one of his crutches and hurt his leg. He had her trapped. And that only made it worse.

  “I told you, I'm not scared of you. I'm not going to walk away.”

  “Fine. You want me to tell you why I'm crying? I'm thinking about another man. I'm thinking about Shane. There, are you happy now? Is that what you wanted to hear?”

  Ranger stilled and her heart dropped to the floor. “See. Why couldn't you leave it alone?”

  “You think I’d be angry at you for thinking about Shane?” Ranger sounded incredulous, but she knew better.

  “Aren't you?”

  “I think about Shane every day. I think about how much I miss him. And I think about how, if he was standing here right now, I’d beat his ass into a bloody pulp for what he did to you. I don't expect you to forget him. He was your husband, cheater or not, you can't forget that.”

  Now it was her turn to freeze. His words shocked her, freezing the loneliness starting to climb back through her body. What kind of man would say something like that? He cou
ldn't be real. No way. “You mean you're not jealous that I'm thinking about him?”

  “No. I want you to understand something right here and right now. I'm here for you. And that means physically and emotionally. If you want to talk about him, who else better to talk to than his best friend? And whatever you say, it doesn't matter. Because I love you. I love you and everything that has made you into the incredibly strong and capable woman you are today.”.

  Chapter 27

  The phone rang, drawing her attention from Ranger. He leaned back, giving her space to grab it and she used the opportunity to take a much needed breath. “Hello.”

  “Amy? This is Doyle Murdock. Been waiting on your flyby, figured you’d have started by now, but I heard you’ve had some trouble at your place and I wanted to check and make sure you were okay.”

  Oh crap. Amy glanced at the clock. Eight a.m. Two hours overdue. Which meant she’d be working until the last rays of light disappeared tonight. “Thank you for your concern, Mr. Murdock. I have had a few issues that put me a tad behind, but I’m still starting today. I’ll be over in the next couple of hours. Sorry for the delay.”

  Amy met Ranger’s gaze, reading the question in his blue eyes. She held up a finger to wait a minute as her brain rapidly worked out what to do. She needed a babysitter, and she needed one lickety-split. The sad thing was, Hayden had been sitting for her up until now. Amy’s stomach knotted. Had Hayden been thinking about Shane the whole time she was babysitting Chloe?

  “No apology needed. I can get some clean up done in the meantime. I’ll see you soon.” Mr. Murdock disconnected the call and Amy sat her phone on the counter.

  “Stay here with me,” Ranger said.

  He had no idea how much she would love to stay in and steal some hours with him, but no work meant no money. “I have to. I’d completely forgotten what day of the week it is.”

  “Come on, you’ve had a really long weekend. You should take a day off and rest.”

  Amy could have gotten pissed that he wouldn’t let it drop, but she knew he was speaking from concern for her well-being. “I am, but I don’t have a choice. My only problem is I’m without a babysitter. Maybe Evie can come over?” She cringed thinking about asking her, though. Amy was sure the shock of pregnancy hadn’t worn off in a few days, and the last time Evie had called, she’d confirmed she was indeed pregnant and promptly burst into tears.

  Amy briefly toyed with the idea of asking Cheri, but just as quickly threw that one out. Her other best friend would be here in a heartbeat, but Amy didn’t want to come home to a destroyed house and no telling what else.

  “You have a baby sitter right here.” Ranger puffed up his chest.

  “You? Have you ever looked after a baby before?”

  “I’ve helped you with Chloe.” He seemed offended, but Amy pressed on.

  “Helping and being all alone is another matter entirely.” Maybe she could call Mrs. Trudy. She’d be more than glad to help out.

  “Woman, I’ve fought in wars. I’ve taken out terrorists way scarier than you could ever imagine.” Yep, he was very offended.

  “Terrorists don’t have anything on a pissed off baby.” She was exaggerating a tad, but only a tad. Chloe could scream with the best of them. She could picture Ranger holding her, confused and freaking out when she wouldn’t calm down.

  “Listen, if we’re going to have a serious relationship, you’ve got to quit pulling that sexist crap on me.” Ranger’s words mocked her, repeating what she’d said to him last night.

  “I’m not joking. Babies are hard work.” Amy felt her will slipping. How bad could it be?

  “You don’t have a choice, either stay home or go to work and let me babysit.” Ranger lifted one blond brow and waited.

  No work, no food, no stability. That meant no Arturo. Her back was against the wall. Not that she didn’t trust him to keep them safe and fed, but she didn’t think he really understood how hard it was to keep up with a mobile baby and a five-year-old at the same time.

  Then again, this might be a good dose of real family life for him. He would get the chance to see what being a father meant. “Okay. Chloe’s oatmeal is in the pantry. She drinks milk or water. I have some vegetables prepared in the green containers in the refrigerator for her lunch. There are corn dogs and chicken nuggets in the freezer for Arturo.”

  “Go. To. Work. I’ve watched you all weekend. I know what she eats and drinks. Don’t worry, we’ll have a blast.”

  * * *

  The sun had set by the time Amy walked through her yard to the back door. Cicadas and crickets chirped all around signaling the coming night. At least the temperature dropped a few degrees to a tolerable ninety-five degrees. Not bad considering the summer in Mercy usually meant triple digit days.

  Right now, the heat was the last of her worries. Having to refuel the plane and mix the chemicals, on top of flying, added up to three times the work. Which meant it took her three times longer to get the job done and she was using precious time she didn’t have. Time that meant money lost to her already nearly non-existent budget.

  If Amy couldn't fill all her orders, she would lose the farm. Literally. A farm that had been in her family for generations. Quarterly taxes were coming due, and she didn’t even want to think about how much she was short on cash.

  It seemed like she was short on everything these days. Short on money. Short on work. Short on time.

  Her shoulders were on fire, her back felt like someone had taken a sledgehammer to it. Her stomach grumbled and rolled like thunder reminding her she hadn’t eaten since breakfast. She didn’t even want to see a mirror. She knew what she must look like-road kill after a rainstorm.

  Amy stopped at the door and rested her head against the doorframe, sending up a silent prayer for Pedro. She’d missed him today and not just because of the extra workload. He’d made for her only company, talking to her through the radio in the plane, offering her a bottle of water when she landed. Today she realized how much she relied on him for friendship.

  Now she had to rely totally on herself. Liar. She had Ranger, a man ready and willing to provide companionship and a whole lot more if she was willing.

  The silence grew, interrupted only by an occasional bullfrog croaking over the insects. Amy lifted her head and stared at the door. No sound came from inside either. Dread sprouted inside her and she grabbed the handle and froze, actually taking in the door before her. A new door. A new kind of warmth spread through her. Ranger fixed her door-and cared for her children.

  She turned the knob with a renewed eagerness. The door swung in on silent, well-oiled hinges. A single light over the oven seeped through the dark kitchen, highlighting the clean counters. Amy wandered over to the sink. Empty. No dirty plates to wash up and put away. No trash sitting on the counter to clean.

  The oven was empty of dirty pots and pans. The only thing out of place was a plate covered in tin foil. Amy peeled the edge of the foil back. The most delicious smell wafted to her. A plate of food sat there like an offering to the gods. To the side of the stove sat a tall glass of tea, a napkin and a fork. Sweat dripped off the glass, and only a few small cubes of ice remained. Ranger had not only cooked dinner, but cleaned up and left her supper.

  Exhaustion hit her at high speed and tears misted her eyes. She’d been so relieved that Ranger volunteered to keep the kids, but she’d also been secretly dreading the state of her house. Even when it had been just her and Shane, her house was always a wreck. She would often have to work late into the night at the Wharf, leaving Shane to cook his own supper and when she got home from work the kitchen would be a mess of dirty dishes and trash and scraps of food left sitting out. Ranger, a single man, was here all day, alone with two kids and he’d left her house spotless.

  Amy blinked back her tears. She’d cried enough in the past year to last forever. Crying over frozen pizza was ridiculous.

  She grabbed the fork, waffling for a moment between her choices. The chicken won.
Amy took a bite of the chicken and her eyes drifted shut on the wave of pleasure taking root in her mouth. She wanted to savor each and every bite of food on her plate, but her stomach growled in protest, demanding more. Helpless, she dug in and finished the entire plate, silently vowing to show Ranger just how much she appreciated his help.

  Amy rinsed the plate, put it in the washer and went to the living room. She rounded the corner and stopped dead in her tracks. Her heart did a little flip flop. Ranger lay back in her recliner with Chloe asleep on his chest.

  As if sensing her presence, Ranger cracked open his eyes and turned to her. A slow and sweet smile drifted across his lips, leaving her with the feeling of warm sunny days and the taste of sweetness on her tongue.

  Her heart did that little flip-flop thing again, only this time it felt more like a full-blown kick to her sternum. Ranger didn’t just give her bubbles and butterflies; he filled her with a sense of contentment she’d never known existed. She wanted to crawl in the chair with him and Chloe, and never get up.

  “Go take a shower, we’ll be right here.” Ranger whispered.

  She nodded, not able to speak past the lump in her throat. A few minutes later she stripped out of her dirty clothes and stepped into a blissful shower. The hot water beat down on her shoulders and back, working some of the tension and soreness out. She popped open a bottle of body wash and the fresh sweet smell filled up the bathroom. Hopefully, it would get rid of her current perfume of grease and sweat. After shampooing and washing her hair, she got out and dried off, slipping on some pajama shorts and a tank. She let her hair hang dry and went back into the living room. True to his word Ranger, hadn't moved.

  Carefully, she lifted Chloe, studiously avoiding direct contact with Ranger. Her willpower was pretty much depleted, if she touched him too much she might not be able to leave. Amy carried Chloe to the nursery and laid her down. Chloe stirred a little but settled quickly. Amy pulled a sheet up over her shoulders and took a second to enjoy watching Chloe sleep. Being a working mother was fulfilling, and she loved being able to support herself and her baby, but at the same time, she hated being gone from Chloe all day.