The Black Dagger Brotherhood Novels 1-4

by J. R. Ward

  Tohrment’s brows came down over his navy-blue eyes. “What’s the matter, John? You got trouble?”

  He wasn’t sure how much to say about the pale man he’d met in the stairwell, and in the end, decided to keep quiet. He wasn’t going to risk Tohrment’s changing his mind because the kid he was thinking of taking in was a paranoid psycho.

  “Son?”

  John went for his pad and pen while Tohrment shut the door.

  I’m glad you came. Thank you.

  Tohrment read the words. “Yeah, I would have gotten here sooner, but last night I had…business I needed to attend to. So have you thought about—”

  John nodded and scribbled quickly. I want to come with you.

  Tohrment smiled a little. “That’s good, son. That’s a good choice.”

  John took a deep breath, beyond relieved.

  “Here’s what we’re going to do. I’m going to come back tomorrow night and pick you up. I can’t take you home now because I’m out in the field until dawn.”

  John swallowed fresh panic. But come on, he told himself. What was one more day?

  Two hours before dawn, Rhage and Vishous went to the Tomb’s entrance. Rhage waited in the woods while V took inside the jar they’d found at the lesser’s place on LaCrosse.

  The other address had proven to be an abandoned torture center. In the stuffy basement of the low-rent two-story, they’d found dust-covered instruments as well as a table and restraints. The place was a horrifying testimony to the Society’s change in strategy from fighting the brothers to snatching and hurting civilians. Both he and Vishous had been choked with vengeance as they’d left.

  On the way back to the compound, they’d stopped at Mary’s so V could scope the rooms and figure out what he’d need to wire the place up good and tight. Being there had been hell. Seeing her things. Remembering the first night he’d gone to find her. He hadn’t been able to look at the couch at all because it reminded him of what he’d done to her body on the floor behind it.

  All that felt like a lifetime ago.

  Rhage cursed and resumed scanning the forest around the cave’s mouth. When V came out, the two of them dematerialized to the main house’s courtyard.

  “Hey, Hollywood, Butch and I are going to One Eye for a nightcap. You want to come?”

  Rhage looked up at the dark windows of his bedroom.

  Even though a trip to One Eye left him cold, he knew he shouldn’t be alone. With the way he was feeling, he was liable to go find Mary and make an ass out of himself by begging. Which would just be wasted humiliation. She’d made it clear where they stood, and she wasn’t the kind of female who was open to persuasion. Besides, he was through playing the lovesick idiot.

  For the most part.

  “Yeah. I’ll hang with you boys.”

  V’s eyes flared as if he’d made the offer to be polite and hadn’t expected a yes. “Okay. Good deal. We’re leaving in fifteen. I need a shower.”

  “Me, too.” He wanted to get the lesser blood off him.

  As he walked through the mansion’s vestibule and into the foyer, Fritz came out of the dining room.

  The butler bowed deeply. “Good evening, sire. Your guest is here.”

  “Guest?”

  “The Chosen’s Directrix. She indicated you had called upon her.”

  Shit. He’d forgotten he’d put the request in, and it wasn’t like he needed their services anymore. If Mary wasn’t in his life, he didn’t require any special feeding arrangements. He was free to go suck and fuck whoever he wanted. Oh, joy.

  God, the idea of being with anyone but Mary made him shrivel in his pants.

  “Sire? Are you receiving?”

  He was about to say no, but then figured that was not a smooth move. Considering his past history with the Scribe Virgin, it wasn’t wise to offend her special class of females.

  “Tell her I’ll be with her in a few minutes.”

  He jogged upstairs to his room, turned the shower on to warm up, and then called V. The brother didn’t seem surprised he was bailing on the trip to the bar.

  Too bad it wasn’t for the reason Vishous obviously assumed.

  Mary came awake because she heard talk drifting up from the foyer. It was Rhage’s voice. She’d recognize that deep rumble anywhere.

  Slipping from the bed, she went to the gap she’d left in the door.

  Rhage was coming up the stairs. His hair was damp, as if he’d just taken a shower, and he was dressed in a loose black shirt and baggy black pants. She was about to step into the hall when she saw he was not alone. The woman with him was tall and had a long blond braid of hair down her back. She was dressed in a filmy white gown, and together they looked like some kind of Goth wedding pair, he in all that black, she draped in that gossamer fabric. When they got to the head of the stairs, the woman paused, as if she didn’t know which way to turn. Rhage put his hand under her elbow and looked down at her solicitously, as if she were so fragile, she might crack a bone just getting to the second floor.

  Mary watched them go into his room. The door shut behind them.

  She went back over to the bed and got in it. Images came crashing down on her head. Rhage all over her body with his mouth and his hands. Rhage thanking her for feeding him. Rhage looking at her while he told her he loved her.

  Yeah, he loved her all right. So much so that he was doing another woman across the hall.

  The instant the thought streaked through her mind, she knew she was being unreasonable. She’d pushed him away. He’d taken the hint. She had no right to blame him for having sex with someone else.

  She’d gotten exactly what she’d asked for.

  He was letting her go.

  Chapter Thirty-four

  The following evening, just before nightfall, Rhage went to the gym as a matter of public service. When he finished with the weights, he got on the treadmill and started running. The first five miles flew by. By mile six, he’d polished off his water. When mile nine arrived, the ass-kicking started.

  He increased the incline and fell back into his stride. His thighs were screaming, clenching, burning. His lungs were on fire. His feet and knees were aching.

  Grabbing the shirt he’d taken off and hung on the console, he used the thing to wipe the sweat out of his eyes. He figured he was dehydrated as shit by now, but he wasn’t getting off for water. He had every intention of going until he fell over.

  To keep up the bruising pace, he lost himself in the music pounding through the speakers. Marilyn Manson, Nine Inch Nails, Nirvana. The stuff was loud enough to drown out the hum of the treadmill, the songs screeching through the weight room, vile, aggressive, deranged. Same as his frame of mind.

  When the sound got cut off, he didn’t bother looking around. He figured the stereo had kicked it or someone wanted to talk to him, and he wasn’t interested in dealing with either.

  Tohr stepped in front of the machine. The brother’s expression had Rhage off the belt and punching the STOP release.

  “What.” He was breathing hard and did another scrub job on his face with the shirt.

  “She’s gone. Mary. She’s gone.”

  Rhage froze with the wet wad under his chin. “What do you mean, gone?”

  “Fritz waited for her in front of the hospital for three hours during her appointment. When he went inside, the clinic she hit was closed. He drove to her house. When she wasn’t there, he went back and searched the whole medical center.”

  Temples pounding from fear instead of exertion, Rhage bit out, “Any signs of forced entry or violence at her house?”

  “No.”

  “Was her car in the garage?”

  “Yes.”

  “When did he last see her?”

  “It was three o’clock when she went to the appointment. FYI, Fritz called you repeatedly, but kept getting voice mail on your cell.”

  Rhage looked at his watch. It was just after six. Assuming sixty minutes or so for the doctor’s appointment, s
he’d been missing for two hours.

  He found it hard to imagine that the lessers could have picked her up off the street. A far more likely scenario was that she went home and the slayers found her there. But, with no sign of a struggle at her house, there was a chance she wasn’t hurt.

  Or maybe that was just blind hope talking.

  Rhage leaped off the machine. “I need to get armed.”

  Tohr shoved a bottle of water into his hand. “Drink this now. Phury’s bringing your gear. Meet him in the locker room.”

  Rhage took off at a jog.

  “The Brotherhood will help you find her,” Tohr called out.

  Bella came upstairs at the break of night, throwing open the door to her kitchen with triumph. Now that the days were getting shorter, she had so much more time to be out and about. It was only six o’clock, but it was pitch-black. Lovely.

  She was debating whether to have toast or fire up some pancakes when she saw lights on at the far edge of the meadow. Someone was in Mary’s house. Probably the warriors installing the security system.

  Which meant that if she went over she might be able to see that scarred male again.

  Zsadist had been on her mind since she’d met him, to the point where her diary entries were filled with speculations about the male. He was just so…raw. And after having been cosseted for years by her brother, she was dying to get out and experience something wild.

  And God knew, Zsadist’s brute sexuality fit that bill.

  She put on a coat and traded her slippers for a pair of running shoes. Jogging through the field grass, she slowed down as she approached Mary’s backyard. The last thing she needed was to run into a lesser—

  “Mary! What are you doing here?”

  The human seemed dazed as she looked up from the lounge chair she was lying on. Even though it was cold, she was wearing only a sweater and jeans.

  “Oh…hey, there. How are you?”

  Bella sank down on her haunches beside the female. “Has Vishous finished?”

  “With what?” Mary moved stiffly as she sat up. “Oh, the alarm. I don’t think so. Or at least, no one’s mentioned anything to me, and it all looks the same inside.”

  “How long have you been out here?”

  “Not long.” She rubbed her arms, then blew into her hands. “I was just watching the sunset.”

  Bella glanced at the house, dread stirring. “Is Rhage picking you up soon?”

  “Rhage isn’t coming for me.”

  “Then one of the doggen?”

  Mary winced as she got to her feet. “Jeez, it’s really cold.”

  As she walked into her home like a zombie, Bella followed. “Mary, ah…you really shouldn’t stay here by yourself.”

  “I know. I figured I was safe because it was daylight.”

  “Did Rhage or one of the brothers tell you that lessers couldn’t be out in the sun? Because I’m not sure, but I think they can be.”

  Mary shrugged. “They haven’t bothered me so far, but I’m not stupid. I’m heading to a hotel. I just have to pack a few things.”

  Except instead of going upstairs, she wandered around the first floor of her house with an odd kind of dislocation.

  She was in some kind of shock, Bella thought. But whatever the problem was, the two of them really needed to get the hell out of here.

  “Mary, why don’t you come have dinner with me?” She eyed the back door. “And, you know, you could stay with me until Vishous finishes up here. My brother had my place all wired and everything. It even has an underground escape route. I’m very safe there, and it’s far enough away so that if the lessers come looking for you, they won’t assume you’re with me.”

  She got ready for an argument, lining up counterpoints in her head.

  “Okay, thanks,” Mary said. “Give me a minute.”

  The female went upstairs and Bella paced around, wishing she had a weapon and knew how to use it.

  When the human came down with a canvas tote bag five minutes later, Bella took a deep breath.

  “How about a coat?” she said, when Mary went for the door without one.

  “Yes. A coat.” Mary dropped the bag, walked over to a closet, and drew on a red parka.

  As they crossed the meadow together, Bella tried to rush their pace.

  “Moon’s almost full,” Mary said as they rustled through the grass.

  “Yes, it is.”

  “Listen, when we get to your place, I don’t want you calling Rhage or anything. He and I…we’ve gone our separate ways. So don’t bother him about me.”

  Bella swallowed her surprise. “Doesn’t he know you’re gone?”

  “No. And he’ll find out on his own. Okay?”

  Bella agreed only to keep Mary’s feet moving. “Can I ask you one thing, though?”

  “Of course.”

  “Did he break it off or did you?”

  Mary walked along in silence for a moment. “I did.”

  “Um, did you, by any chance…Were the two of you intimate?”

  “Did we have sex?” Mary shifted the L.L. Bean bag to her other hand. “Yes, we did.”

  “When you made love, did you notice a kind of fragrance coming from his skin? Something like dark spices and—”

  “Why are you asking me this?”

  “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to pry.”

  They were almost at the farmhouse when Mary murmured, “It was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever smelled.”

  Bella kept her curse to herself. No matter what Mary thought, the blond warrior would be coming for her. A bonded male did not let his mate go. Ever. And that was based on her experience with civilians.

  She could only guess what a warrior would do if his female took off.

  Rhage walked through each room in Mary’s house. In her bath upstairs, he found the cabinet under the sink open. Lined up inside there were extra toiletries, like bars of soap, tubes of toothpaste, deodorant. There were gaps in the neat rows, as if she’d taken some.

  She was staying somewhere else, he thought, glancing out the window. If it was a hotel he was probably screwed, because she’d be smart enough to register under a different name. Maybe he could try her work—

  He focused on the farmhouse way across the meadow. Lights twinkled inside.

  Would she have gone to Bella’s?

  Rhage went downstairs and locked up. A split second later he materialized on Bella’s front porch and pounded on the door. When Bella answered, the female just stepped aside as if she’d expected him.

  “She’s upstairs.”

  “Where?”

  “Front bedroom.”

  Rhage took the stairs two at a time. Only one door was closed, and he didn’t knock, just opened it wide. Light from the hall spilled into the room.

  Mary was sound asleep on an enormous brass bed, wearing a sweater and a pair of blue jeans he recognized. A patchwork quilt had been pulled over her legs, and she was half on her stomach, half on her side. She looked utterly exhausted.

  His first instinct was to take her into his arms.

  He stayed right where he was.

  “Mary.” He kept his voice impersonal. “Mary. Wake up.”

  Her eyelashes fluttered, but then she only sighed and moved her head a little.

  “Mary.”

  Oh, for fuck’s sake.

  He went over to the bed and bounced on the mattress with his hands. That got her attention. She shot up, eyes petrified until she saw him.

  And then she just looked confused.

  “What are you doing here?” She pushed her hair out of her face.

  “Yeah, maybe you want to answer that first?”

  “I’m not at home.”

  “No, you aren’t. You’re not where you need to be, either.”

  She settled back against the pillows, and he became acutely aware of the dark circles under her eyes, the pale line of her lips…and the fact that she wasn’t fighting with him.

  Don’t ask, he told h
imself.

  Ah, hell. “What happened this afternoon?”

  “I just needed some time alone.”

  “I’m not talking about how you ditched Fritz. We’ll get to that later. I want to know about the doc’s.”

  “Oh, yeah. That.”

  He stared at her while she fiddled with the edge of the quilt. As she stayed silent, he wanted to scream. Throw things. Burn something down.

  “Well?” he forced out.

  “It wasn’t that I thought you were unworthy.”

  What the hell was she talking about? Oh, yeah, that lovely little attending-her-when-she-was-ill conversation. Man, she was in full avoidance mode.

  “How bad is it, Mary. And don’t even think about lying to me.”

  Her eyes met his. “They want me to start chemo next week.”

  Rhage exhaled slowly. Well, if that didn’t just peel the skin right off him.

  He sat on the far edge of the bed and shut the door with his mind. “Will it work?”

  “I think so. My doctor and I are going to meet again in a couple of days after she talks to some of her colleagues. The biggest question is how much more of the treatment I can handle, so they took blood to check my liver and kidneys. I told them I’ll take as much as they can give me.”

  He rubbed his face with his palm. “Jesus Christ.”

  “I watched my mother die,” she said softly. “It was awful. Seeing her lose her faculties and be in such pain. By the end she didn’t look like herself, she didn’t act like herself. She was gone except for the body that refused to quit its basic functions. I’m not saying that’s where I’m headed, but it’s going to be rough.”

  Goddamn, his chest hurt. “And you don’t want me going through that?”

  “No, I don’t. I don’t want that for either of us. I’d rather you remember me the way I am now. And I’d rather remember us the way we’ve been. I’m going to need some happy places to go.”

  “I want to be there for you.”

  “And I don’t need that. I’m not going to have the energy to put up a front. And pain…pain makes people change.”

  It sure the hell did. He felt like he’d aged about a century since he’d met her.

  “Oh, Rhage…” When her voice wavered, she cleared it sharply. And he despised her for needing to be in control. “I’m going to…miss you.”