Crescendo

by Charlotte Lamb

  'I thought you'd gone,' she whispered.

  'I'll never go. How can I? How far would I get without my heart?'

  She laughed involuntarily, but he was staring at her mouth and the expression in the dark eyes ended her laughter. He slowly bent his head and kissed her lightly.

  'You're very beautiful.'

  Her heart was beating far too fast. She drew back and walked on with Gideon walking beside her, suiting the long strides to her pace. The Wind tossed their hair and bent the trees. The sea rushed up on to the rocky beach below.

  'I love you,' Gideon said quietly. 'You're the breath of my life, the beat of my heart. I can't go because I couldn't live without you. I know—I've tried during the past year, and although I may have walked and talked as if I were alive, inside I've been dead. The way I felt about you didn't stop while we were apart, it got stronger. It's got stronger every

  day since the day we met. Three years is a long time, Marina. If my feelings weren't deep they wouldn't have lasted three years. I haven't thought of any­thing but you all the time we've been apart.'

  She didn't answer, but she sighed as she accepted that. Three years was a long time.

  'Why did you go last night?' she asked without looking at him.

  He laughed softly. 'I was tempted to stay, but I didn't want to make another mistake. I wanted you to have time to think.'

  'You didn't give me much time,' she pointed out.

  'No? It seems like centuries to me,' Gideon said in a husky whisper. 'My God, I wanted to stay, Marina.'

  She stopped and their eyes met, then she was in his arms, clinging, their bodies pressed together and their mouths exchanging an abandoned passion which made her heart beat like a metronome.

  He moved his mouth softly against her cheek when their lips parted and sighed. 'Tell me one thing, darling. If you loved me why did you stop seeing me and go around with that boy?'

  'I didn't want to get hurt,' she said, and felt the harsh intake of breath he gave.

  'Oh, God,' he muttered. 'Darling, my darling! I hate myself for what I've done to you. I deserve to lose you.'

  She moved her head back and considered him soberly. 'I was too young for you,' she decided wryly.

  'No,' he said at once, his face harsh.

  'Far too young,' she murmured, a smile coming into her eyes. 'I didn't know what sort of animal I'd caught.'

  His eyes relaxed, the lines which had appeared around his mouth softening, and he grinned at her. 'A wild one, I'm afraid.'

  'Savage,' she agreed, her eyes teasing him.

  'But tameable,' he suggested, a glint coming into the dark eyes.

  'Do you think so?'-She looked up at him im­pudently. 'I'm not so sure. I don't know if I have a cage big enough.'

  'I shan't need a cage,' he promised. 'I'll never try to escape.'

  She had been a child when he first seduced her and all their lovemaking had been silent, heated, secretive. Gideon had been unwilling to speak too much for fear of what he might let slip and Marina had been too uncertain, too shy, to say much. She realised that their marriage had never been real until now. They had never communicated beyond the fierce abandon of their lovemaking. They had a lot to learn about each other. She was a woman now. It had been a painful and difficult growing up but it was over now. She looked at Gideon and wondered if he knew how far they had both come in the past year when they were apart. They had each taken a silent, bitter journey into themselves, but they had returned, like characters in a fairy story, with miraculous discoveries.

  Gideon knew from her face that dark thoughts were passing through her head. He held her tightly, his strong body sheltering her from the onslaught of the cruel wind.

  'Don't shut me out,' he said huskily. 'What's wrong? Don't you believe me? You must believe me, Marina.'

  'I do,' she said. 'I love you, Gideon.'

  His mouth shook slightly. 'Darling,' he muttered, lowering his head to search for her mouth again.

  All the cold chill, the pain and uncertainty, had fallen away. They had to learn to forget the past. An obsession with past pain could be as dangerous as any other.

  They walked back to the cottage hand in hand. 'I've got a tour coming up, I'm afraid,' Gideon ad­mitted. 'I don't want to go, but I've agreed to and I can't let people down. Will you come, Marina?' His hand held hers possessively. 'I don't want to leave you behind again.'

  'Of course I'll come,' she said lightly. 'Try and leave me!'

  He laughed, looking sideways with a glimmer of amusement.

  'I shall haunt you like a ghost,' she teased.

  'You have for months,' he muttered.

  'We're not going to talk about what's over,' she said with a crisp command that made him smile again.

  'No,' he accepted.

  'This is a new beginning.'

  'Yes,' said Gideon, and something in his tone made her look at him with quick comprehension.

  'I wonder if Grandie is out,' he said softly, and laughed as her colour rose. He grinned at her. 'I saw him trotting off to the village as I arrived. He gave me a funny look.'

  'The way you come and go I'm not surprised!'

  'I'll never go again,' he whispered, kissing her cheek. 'You'll never get rid oŁ me, Marina. I mean to stick like glue.'

  The cottage was silent and empty, the wind roar­ing round it in a constant howl which made the trees lash to and fro and the windows rattle.

  He held her cradled against his heart, kissing her passionately. 'Tell me you love me.'

  'I told you,' she said, opening drowsy eyes which held an inviting smile, watching the blaze of re­sponsive hunger growing in his dark eyes.

  'Tell me again,' he said huskily.

  She said it in a soft sensual voice, watching his colour deepen and his eyes darken.

  'Oh, God,' he groaned as he pulled her down on to the bed. 'I love you, darling.'

  He lost control from that moment. All the cool, clever processes of his brain ceased to function. He touched her with hands that trembled, his heart so fast she could hear its pounding as he moved against her, and his face was taut with a hunger which was driving both of them. He made love to her as if all his life went into the satisfaction of that need. He had abandoned all his defences, eager to show her openly how much he cared. Her hands caressed the smooth cool back, meeting his demand with her own, the supple movements of her slender body, bringing gasps of agonised pleasure from him. They had never made love like this before. Gideon's hoarse cries Of love had an abandonment which gave him to her finally and for ever.

  They slept afterwards for an hour, a sheet thrown

  over their bodies, and when Marina yawned and opened her eyes she found Gideon still sleeping but with his arms clamped round her as though he were afraid to let her go even in sleep.

  She tickled his cheek and his lashes flickered up­ward. He looked at her dazedly and she smiled.

  He closed his eyes again, sighing. 'I thought it was another dream,' he said. 'There've been so many.'

  'I remember,' she said drily, and he grinned at that, a wicked amusement coming into his face.

  'Shameless of you,' he teased. 'Walking into my room like that and handing yourself to me on a plate!'

  'If you'd had any principles you would never have taken me,' she pointed out.

  He sobered. 'I was a starving man given a chance to eat,' he groaned. 'I couldn't let the chance slip.'

  She snuggled closer. 'It was good, wasn't it?'

  He let his lips drift over her hair. 'It was heaven.'

  'I was so horrified in the morning. I remembered every second of it, and although I thought I'd dreamt it I was terrified of seeing you again.'

  She felt him smiling. 'I enjoyed the way you looked at me when you came down to breakfast. You gave me such a shy, sheepish look and I was hard put to it not to get up and kiss you there and then.'

  'I'd have been overcome with shock,' she said, her eyes dancing. 'I could barely look at you as it was.'
/>   'So I noticed.' He bent his head and kissed her shoulder. 'You were very sweet and I could scarcely keep my hands off you.'

  'I don't remember it like that,' she commented. He had kissed her the day after he arrived. It had

  been a tentative kiss. He had been carefully testing the ice before he walked on to it, but she had not rejected him and Gideon had moved fast after that.

  He read the thoughts in her face and laughed. 'You were very responsive, my love.'

  'And you were very unprincipled!'

  'I love you,' he whispered, finding her mouth. 'I had to get close to you. I needed to be with you. When we first met we were different people, darling. I was a different person. I'm not the man I was— you've changed me. Coming down and realising that you didn't know me, I saw that if I trod carefully I could find the way to reach you as I'd never reached you before, and it worked. You were open and warm and responsive and if I'd thought I loved you before I soon loved you fifty times more.'

  Marina laid her head on his chest and heard the steady deep beat of his heart. They lay in silence for a few moments, their bodies close, then they heard movements downstairs and Gideon groaned.

  'Grandie's back. Why couldn't he take another hour?'

  'We must go down and tell him,' she said, sigh­ing.

  'I think he already knows,' said Gideon in a dry voice.

  She laughed. 'Yes.' Grandie knew. There had never been any doubt that Marina loved Gideon and for all her anger and hurt, Grandie had been aware of that. She had talked of going back to col­lege, taking up a career, but Grandie had known secretly that everything in her that was alive was turned towards Gideon. Gideon was not the only one who'was unable to live without a heart. Marina had lost hers to him the day they met, although it had taken her some time to realise it, and she had never seriously believed that she would be able to turn him away.

  'I suppose we must go down,' said Gideon reluc­tantly.

  'Yes,' she said again, smiling.

  'I'd like to spend the next twenty-four hours in here,' he muttered with a quick look at her.

  'Isn't that tough?' she said mockingly, laughing, and slid off the bed before he could grab her. He watched her with dark, intent eyes as she dressed, but she did not look at him because if she did she was afraid she might go back to him and Grandie was waiting.

  'Do get dressed, Gideon,' she scolded.

  'Kiss me first,' he demanded.

  She walked to the door and looked back at him with a teasing smile. 'I'll see you downstairs.'

  As she closed the door she heard his exasperated groan and laughed to herself. She might love Gideon, but she had learnt something from their three years together. You don't tame a savage animal by giving it its own way. Gideon still had a lot to learn.

  Grandie looked round at her as she entered the kitchen. His face was blank, but she caught the curious flicker of his eyes before he glanced away from her.

  'He came back, then,' he said drily.

  She put her arms round him and laid her head on his shoulder. 'I'm going back to him.'

  Grandie sighed. 'I knew that, of course. It was ob­vious from the day he turned up.'

  'He loves me.' She knew Grandie would worry about that.

  He was silent for a moment, then he said harshly: 'I hope so.'

  'And I love him.'

  'Yes,' he said in a gentler tone.

  Grandie accepted that. She would never have en­tered into that first passionate relationship with Gideon if she had not been crazily in love with him.

  She was sorry that once again she had dashed all Grandie's hopes for her, but life only gave you a restricted choice and she had long ago realised that she had made hers the day she first set eyes on Gideon.

  'It's fate,' she said half flippantly.

  Grandie did not smile. 'Yes,' he agreed, and she could tell he did not think much of fate.

  From the music room came the sound of the piano and they both turned to listen, their faces in­tent.

  'Gideon,' said Grandie, unnecessarily.

  Only one man played like that—with arrogance and verve yet with a delicacy of touch which was permeated with strong but controlled emotion.

  Marina walked away from Grandie and went into the music room. Gideon's long back was towards her as he sat at the piano, his hands moving with their customary assurance while he gazed out of the win­dow. Marina sat down quietly and he flicked her a brief glance over his shoulder. He did not smile, but the dark eyes were passionate. The music swelled into a triumphant cascade, filled with certainty, clear and vibrant with a piercing sweetness. How­ever many times he said: 'I love you,' he would never say it in quite the way he was saying it now. They had come so close to losing each other that all Gideon's joy and relief poured into the sound rippling from beneath his long fingers, and Marina sat and listened to him with happiness in her eyes.