Only Pretend

by Nora Flite

  The muscles of my neck clenched, hair whipping so I could stare at the doctor. “And you think that's fine?”

  Her calm, green eyes didn't move. “I'm only concerned with making sure this goes in safely. Now, listen.” The needle looked too wide for my skin, my tummy flipping. “I can numb you, insert this, and everything will be fine.”

  “'Fine.'” Nothing about this was fine. “And my other option?”

  Helen cast a meaningful look at Leonide where he stood. “He'll hold you down, tie you up so I can do this. The choice is up to you, Celeste.”

  The smile felt funny on my face. “My choice?” I don't have choices anymore. Holding out my arm, I locked eyes with the doctor. “Go ahead. Stab me.”

  It was over with quickly. True to her word, Helen made it so I didn't even feel the needle. The only hint of what had gone down was a small red mark on my flesh, tender from the implant. It was hard not to look at it, harder not to poke at the area.

  Gathering her bag, the doctor strolled to the door. “I'll invoice you later.”

  “Always nice to do business. Would you like an escort out?”

  “I know the way by now.” She never looked at me, she just slipped out and left us.

  Left me with him.

  Leaning on the door, he let the quiet mood grow. Under his stare, I squirmed, reaching for the pleated dress I'd had on the day before. It was dirty, he'd never given me anything new. I'd had to use water from my dinner to rinse the mud from my cheeks.

  Fingering the hem, I finally went to put it on. He must have been waiting. That, or my action brought him to life like some cursed gargoyle. “Celeste, wait.”

  The garment dropped back to the bed, I just let it fall. He had some game in mind, I was sure of it. The clothing from yesterday would have no part of it.

  His chin bobbed, subtle. “Let's go for a walk.”

  “I'm naked.” His eyes flashed; I jumped to my feet. “Sorry. Yes, sir, let's go.”

  Outside, the house was the same level of ever present emptiness. Trailing Leonide, one arm over my breasts and one over my crotch out of habit, I shivered in the cool air. I didn't know where he was taking me, only that when I thought we were on the bottom level, he detoured and pushed open a doorway. Through it, another staircase cascaded into the abyss.

  The wooden steps were ominous, feeling like expensive, polished stone under my bare feet. This was not a neglected area. But where does it go?

  A long passage was illuminated by light bulbs on the ceiling. The wallpaper curled with white french circles, red diamonds. The sound was missing, here. Our surroundings seemed to eat the noise, begged for me to shout just so I could see what would happen.

  A place where screams are softened. The implication was ice in my bones.

  Leonide pushed open a curtain, nudged me inside. Hugging myself, I tore my eyes around the large and rounded room. Tiny candles, orange flames that cast jagged shadows and revealed a circular white bed. On the walls, cupboards hid away their secrets.

  “What is this room?” I asked.

  “Many things. It's meant to be whatever I need.” Striding around me, he peeled away his jacket. Underneath, his torso was hugged by a hard-lined vest, the same color as a king's crown. It drew in his waist, enhanced his wide shoulders. I found myself staring; found him seeing me stare.

  I dropped my eyes to my feet. “And what do you need it to be, sir?”

  He stood in front of me. I wondered how his rough clothing would feel on my naked flesh. “Look at me, Celeste.”

  Seeking to hide the uncertainty in my eyes, I reluctantly did as he asked. Could he tell what I'd been thinking, my inappropriate thoughts?

  In his hand, my face felt like crystal he could easily shatter. “Right now, it's where your punishment begins.”

  How fast my heart dive bombed into my guts.

  “Lay on the bed,” he whispered.

  I took a step—paused. I felt his disappointment, hurried to speak. “Stomach, or on my back, sir?”

  His humor was a ghost in the room; there, then fading away. “Stomach.” Finishing the walk, I crept onto the bed. It was firmer than I imagined, big enough that I could stretch across the middle, toes and nails not touching the edges.

  Unsure what else to do, I put my chin on my folded arms. My ankles were crossed, muscles taut as a drum. What is he going to do to me? The punishment... yes. He'd warned me in the car. I should have known this was coming.

  Hinges creaked; I looked over, saw him in a cupboard. “Eyes forward,” he snapped. Pushing my forehead to my arms, I went so far as to close my lids. My senses were waking up, hearing him rustling, gathering whatever.

  Didn't I think ignorance was bliss, before?

  The mattress told me when he knelt on it beside me. Bracing myself for his slaps, for pain or brutality only my mind could conjure, I held me breath.

  A slippery palm rubbed between my shoulders. I was made from cement, lying there and not understanding what was happening. Is he... massaging me? I wouldn't risk looking; he'd instructed me not to. He is! Fingers caressed my shoulders. Leonide is giving me a massage.

  I would never figure him out.

  It took awhile for me to calm myself. I was reminded of when he'd bathed me. This side of him, where does it come from? His thumbs worked out knots in my neck. Why bring me down here... for this?

  Gliding down my form, Leonide covered me in oil. It let his hands slide quickly, never pushing to the point of pain. I felt him move, his weight shifting. Now he was kneeling over my calves, taking care of my lower back.

  He hit the tension caused by hours in heels. Oh, fuck. In spite of everything, I moaned into the bed.

  “Good?” he asked softly.

  “Yes, sir,” I managed around another gasp. I wiggled my toes, flushing with pleasure. It was fitting for him to be so good at this. His fingers were deft, I knew that from experience. Just thinking of those times, how he'd teased me so easily, made my belly clench.

  Now he's rubbing my naked body. The realization had me blushing. Lower he went, over my thighs. He curled in rapidly, pushed away more elastic cramps. On his trip up my legs, I expected him to avoid my ass like he had on the path down.

  “Oh!” I blurted, shocked by the sudden rush. He'd started kneading my rear, laughing darkly at my reaction. Pushing my soft skin, Leonide massaged my ass cheeks in gentle circles. They were initially small, my heart out pacing his speed.

  Slick hands spread me open, tickling down my inner thighs; rubbing across my buttocks again and again. “Do you like that?” he asked me.

  Squeezing my eyes tight, I struggled to answer calmly. “Ah... yes, sir.”

  “Good.” His grip rolled down my legs. In a blink, he spread them apart. My weakened state prevented me from reacting in time. The click of snaps, something captured my ankles. I felt the air, how he knelt between my thighs.

  I'd never been so exposed, not like that.

  Rocking on my elbows, I twisted to see him. “What are you—ah!” My face was pushed down into the blanket. Reaching for my wrists, ignoring my struggle now that I knew something was up, he clipped them to the edge of the mattress. I hadn't even noticed the straps there; not until he had me tied into position.

  “I don't want you struggling while I do this.”

  “Do what?” I shouted, turning my face, wishing I could see behind me.

  He was fiddling with something. Again, lubricated fingers touched me, stroked my upper thighs. Pulling at the cuffs, I hissed in frustration at how my legs wouldn't close. “This is a nice view, when you wiggle like that.” He went for my ass again, molding the globes.

  Thumbs rippled inwards, oiling the sensitive skin of my crack. Freezing, I inhaled sharply. “Don't.”

  “No?” A slick finger rubbed over my asshole, tiny strokes. I'd never had someone touch me there; the sensation made fireworks in my brain, my whimper obscene. “I think you like it, Celeste. I think your cute little asshole is as greedy as you.” />
  I rocked my hips, there was no where to go. “Please, I've never... that's...”

  Patiently, he pet my rosebud like he had all the time in the world. “Your future husband has requested a number of things.” The circles came faster and faster, more oil poured, dripping down to my pussy. “One of them was a wife who enjoys anal.” My heart pumped, mimicking his movements. “I'm not going to ruin my reputation, not after all this time. Not after everything my family worked for.”

  His... family...?

  He pushed his thumb inside of me. All thought, all ability to think of anything but how he was stretching my virgin hole... it fled with my dignity. Groaning, squealing, I ground my hips and felt my insides flutter on him.

  Gently, he fucked my tight ass with his finger.

  And dammit.

  I loved it more than I had any right to.

  “Oh god,” I moaned, trying to buck onto him. “That's... I've... ah! Fuck, just... fuck!”

  “Language!” Laughing, he curled his digit inside of me. “Maybe I should teach you Russian. Though, there is a certain beauty to hearing you swear like that.”

  Biting down on the blanket, I just mewled.

  Abruptly his thumb popped out of me. My whine was pathetic; I was so glad he couldn't see my flushed face, how I was drooling helplessly. “Why... why stop?”

  “Do you not remember the rules?”

  I couldn't remember anything. Blinking, I saw him walk in front of me. He held something pink, the size of a small, fat carrot. I'd walked past sex toy shops, dared to glance in one as a teen.

  An anal plug.

  Leonide truly was perverse.

  But was I any better, my pussy and ass both flexing with my lust?

  He put it to my lips, ignored how I pulled away. “Get this soaked. It's going in that pretty ass of yours. It it's not lubed enough, that's your fault, Celeste.”

  Looking him in the eye, I parted my lips. The toy was rubbery, flavorless on my tongue. I slathered it, caught up in my torrent of arousal.

  “Fuck,” he breathed out. “Good girl.” He was at my eye-level, his dick fighting to shred through his pants. Just seeing it made me ache, it was a god-send to not be able to speak around the plug.

  Ripping it from me, Leonide didn't let me catch my breath. Bending across, covering me in his scent and shadow, he teased my rear with the tip of the toy. Up and down, he nudged a mere taste of inside of me. Each time he moved, he went a fraction deeper... only to remove it, the sounds lewd.

  He's breaking me. The realization was terrifying. How, how am I falling apart to this?

  The plug sank, spreading me wider than his finger had. “Do you want this?”

  My molars clenched. Fuck, I do. He was melting everything I was. “Mn...”

  “Tell me,” he growled, pushing the toy inside more. It left me hollow when he took it away, had me pushing my ass back, body itching. “Tell me to do it. Tell me you need it.”

  Sweat rolled down my spine. He knew I wanted it, my body was screaming it at him. “I can't... please don't ask—ah!” Fucking fuck! What am I fighting for again? “You already... you know what I want!”

  He reached between my thighs, felt the torrent of nectar flooding from my cunt. Poking the plug at my asshole, he turned it like a drill. “Of course I fucking know. I want you to say it. Admit it, Celeste.” It took effort to hear him over my panting. “Admit you're going to be a sweet little whore, for me... for anyone who has you.”

  That... I can't say that!

  He slid the biggest part of the object into me, my muscles throbbing around the width. “Oh, god!” I squealed.

  “Say it. Just say what's true.”

  What's true...

  “Tell me you need your ass filled.”

  My essence shattered. I didn't know what I was, who I was. Celeste, a slut, blonde or brunette or any fucking hair color? Nothing mattered anymore. Not when Leonide was there, making me question if gravity itself was even real.

  Wasn't it all just pretend?

  “Fuck me, please!” I sobbed, vibrating in my cuffs. “I need my ass filled, sir! Fuck, just—anything! I'll say it, whatever you want! Just fuck me, please please just—ahh!”

  Leonide had told me once, when I first met him, that he could be very kind. The way he buried that pink plug in my ass to the very base, I didn't imagine he could become any kinder.

  His palm came down, spanking me sharply. “Now thank me.”

  “Thank you, thank you thank you thank you!” I rambled, I begged; I pleaded and was sure I'd even perform tricks if he asked. I never imagined I'd break over something like this. My soul was tainted, black as sin.

  Black as his eyes.

  I want to cum, I want to finally cum.

  It had been so long since I'd had an orgasm—since he had given me one. Memories of Vegas, of being spread wide so he could eat my pussy until I was screaming, hit me full force. Without my armor, they rose from the deep like forgotten monsters.

  “Please let me cum, sir.” My urgency stomped my pride into the dust. “Anything, I'll do anything!”

  His mouth made a shape both dreadful and heavenly. “I know.”

  The teeth of his zipper shredded my composure. Into the candle light of that secret place, his engorged cock rose in his fist. The tip was glistening; all I wanted in life was to taste it.

  I moved for it, lips parted. Leonide seized my hair in a wad. “If you try to bite, even think about going at me with your teeth, I'll tear every tooth from your fucking skull.” He squinted into my depths. “Understand?”

  “I understand, of course!” Did he not grasp how in pieces I was?

  Holding the back of my head, he slid his cock across my lips. Like most of my escapades, blow jobs were a rarity. I'd tried to give them to Jones—my ex. Don't ever think about him. I lifted my eyes, lost myself in the passion steaming from Leonide's existence. My ex, my ex, my ex.

  I am not boring.

  Coating his length with my tongue, I suckled at the head. Everything I did to him caused my clit to pulse. The plug inside of me was being squeezed. Even with it, my hunger left me empty.

  I wanted him; the warm, thick cock I was lovingly kissing. Wanted him to finally fuck me the way I kept expecting.

  Keeping me still, Leonide shoved himself down my throat. Instantly I gagged; I'd never been capable of deep throating. Breathing wildly as he withdrew, I coughed. “Guess we'll have to work on that, too,” he sighed.

  He was mocking me. I didn't give a shit. Just fuck me already, I mentally begged. On cue, he walked away from me. Turning, I struggled to follow him, to see where he was headed.

  His fingers brushed my ankle. “Are you ready to finally cum?”

  Everything—ribs, chest, fucking cells—jumped to attention. “Yes! Yes, sir!”

  I quivered at the pressure against my pussy. He filled me up inch by inch, and as he neared his root—something hard nudged my clit. It was the first hint something was wrong. It didn't feel like human flesh in me. I was still stuffed, moaning, as Leonide walked back around to face me.

  Such a smug man.

  Lifting a remote, he tilted it side to side. “How does that vibrator feel?”

  “Why?” It was a pathetic question; it was all I had.

  His lips came for me, but he did not kiss my skin. Bracing my cheek, Leonide spoke directly into my ear. His echo rocketed through my sensitive body. “I told you. This is your punishment.”

  In his hand, the remote clicked on.

  There was too much in me that had been on the verge of snapping. I was a world of pleasure, the toys stretching me, the nodule on the vibrator stimulating my nub. Wicked heat slammed against my existence. I came with a scream fit for a porn star.

  It had been what I wanted—needed—for so long.

  The vibrations continued to wreck me.

  He stroked my hair, smiling into my panicked eyes. “Make as much noise as you want. This basement is sound proof, it won't bother anyone.�
�� Adjusting himself in his pants, he headed for the exit.

  “Wait!” I cried, interrupted by another quivering burst of lust that made my eyes roll in my skull. “Please—I can't take this!”

  He waited till I could see him again, when my next orgasm had faded to quivering aftershocks. “You wanted to cum. I'm giving you what you wanted. Be grateful, Celeste.”

  Setting the remote on a table so very far from me, Leonide left me to my fate.

  - Chapter Seven -

  Celeste

  I fainted hours after he abandoned me there.

  Whatever time had gone by, I awoke to the sound of a faucet. Through the buttermilk of my awareness, I thought someone was washing me. Strong hand. Hands I was coming to know just by touch.

  It wasn't the bathroom I had been in before. The tub was ground level, his presence hovering behind me. Everything was red marble, veins of silver sleeping in the mix.

  Leonide was singing again; that soft lilt of Russian words I didn't grasp. “Spi, moi angel... tikho, sladko...”

  Nothing made sense to me. My brain was rearranged, a universe where I fit in less and less. What was I becoming, why was I changing so easily? The question of what waited for me in the future was a distorted prediction.

  In the vapor air, Leonide kissed my forehead while thinking I still dreamed.

  And then sleep called me back.

  ****

  I ached for a whole day after that event. Limping the halls, dressed in a simple cotton dress of dove-grey, I mulled over what my life had become. Leonide consumes everything. He ruled my body, my mind, even my unconscious.

  There was so little I knew about the man. And he knows so much about me. Rubbing my arm where the implant was buried, I remembered how he'd let slip he'd gotten my medical records. What else of mine did he have?

  For that matter, what happened to all my stuff? I'd had a car, luggage, my purse. Did Leonide take everything? Maybe my car is still sitting at Caesar's. If it was, someone would notice. They'd investigate, check into where I'd vanished.

  Wouldn't they?

  On the top of the second floor stairs, a woman with curly hair—I had started calling her Ticked, for how she always 'ticked' her tongue at me in the kitchen—came to a halt. Her hands were buried in her thick skirts, eyes falling my way.