When the Clouds Go Rolling By

by When the Clouds Go Rolling By (retail) (epub)

  ‘How did you feel about that?’ asked Clara, interested to learn something more about his background.

  ‘I didn’t mind. Some were interesting, most kept themselves to themselves.’ His eyes were thoughtful as his gaze rested on her pale face. He patted the seat of the armchair. ‘Come and sit down. I’ve something to tell you.’

  She did so. ‘Is it about Seb? How is his arm?’

  Freddie sat on the arm of the chair. ‘Alice told Hanny that he’s had a reply to a letter he sent to a specialist at the hospital where he stayed in the south. He wants to see him. It’s just arranging a time when he can go. But that’s not the main thing I want to tell you.’

  Clara was finding his closeness disturbing but told herself to ignore it. ‘What is it you want to tell me?’

  ‘I saw your aunt.’

  Clara’s eyes widened. ‘When? Did she visit Seb and Alice?’

  ‘No. I drove Seb to Delamere to attend your aunt’s husband’s funeral. He was killed in a farm accident.’

  ‘When did this happen? No wonder she hasn’t answered my letters.’

  ‘She received your letter but because it arrived the day of the accident she hadn’t opened it. But Seb told her about your visiting him.’ Freddie brought his head closer to hers and lowered his voice. ‘He said about your gran being ill and wanting to see her.’

  ‘What did she say?’

  He hesitated.

  ‘Tell me the truth,’ whispered Clara.

  ‘Firstly, she was surprised that her mother was still alive…’

  Clara’s spirits sank because she guessed what was coming. ‘She doesn’t want to see Gran, does she?’

  ‘That’s the impression I got. Sorry. Of course, she might change her mind.’

  ‘But you don’t think so,’ said Clara with a sigh. ‘What’s she going to do? Will she stay on at the farm? I could visit her when it gets warmer, I suppose.’

  He grimaced. ‘Waste of your time, love. She can’t wait to leave.’

  Clara’s heart leapt at his use of the word love but she told herself it didn’t mean a thing. ‘You think she’ll move in with Alice and Seb?’

  ‘Unlikely. She and Alice don’t get on.’

  ‘Best not to mention it to Gran until I know more, then,’ she muttered, pulling a face.

  They were silent for a moment and then he said. ‘I didn’t only come about your aunt but to ask you to keep a date free so you can come to a party.’

  ‘A party?’ Clara felt warmth flood through her at the smile he gave her. ‘You want me to go to a party with you?’

  ‘The invitation is actually from Hanny and Kenny. The twins are getting christened at Easter and they’d like you to come. I know it’s a few weeks off but I thought you might need advance warning,’ said Freddie casually. ‘I mean, for all I know, you might have a boyfriend and have other plans.’

  ‘Oh no,’ said Clara, slightly disappointed that the invitation and the party wasn’t what she had thought, but even so, she was eager to accept. ‘I’d love to come. I’ll have to give some thought to what to wear, that’s all.’ She would also have to find the money for the fare to get there.

  As if reading her mind he said, ‘I’ll come and pick you up on my motorbike. You don’t have to worry about getting there and back.’

  Her smile seemed to start deep inside her and she beamed at him. ‘That’s so kind of you. Thank you.’

  ‘Who are yer thanking?’ asked a slurred voice from the depths of the sofa.

  It was Freddie who explained things to Bernie.

  ‘So who’s going to be at this party?’ she asked.

  ‘Family and friends.’ He glanced at Clara. ‘Hanny thought of asking Mrs Black but Joy said she’s going away for Easter, so she won’t be there.’

  ‘I take it yer family’s not Catholic, lad, if the babies aren’t baptised yet?’ said Bernie.

  ‘No. But you won’t hold that against us, will you?’ he said with a smile.

  Bernie blinked across at him. ‘None of my business. What about our Gertie? Will she be there?’ She did not wait for an answer. ‘I remember her being baptised. A lot of good it did her. Sinful place, the stage.’

  ‘I once thought of going on the stage,’ said Clara seriously.

  Freddie looked amused. ‘What would you do? Do you sing, or dance? Or perhaps you play an instrument? Or are you double-jointed? You could be an acrobat or the amazing rubber-armed woman! You could reach up without a ladder and rescue cats from trees.’

  There was a rumble of laughter from Bernie. ‘That I’d like to see,’ she wheezed.

  A tiny smile played about Clara’s mouth. ‘That was then. Now I’d enjoy being in a flicker as Clara the Cowgirl and have adventures in the Wild West.’

  ‘I wouldn’t mind dressing up as a cowboy. I remember Hanny telling me that Mother and Dah took me to see Buffalo Bill’s Wild West Show when I was a kid. It came to Chester and performed on the Roodee and was lit by electric lights in a big marquee.’

  ‘I’d have liked to have seen that,’ said Clara wistfully. ‘Instead, I’ve had to make do with the flickers.’

  Freddie’s expression altered. ‘Will it be long before the Palladium opens again?’ he asked. ‘What if it’s weeks? What if you can’t get another job?’

  Clara said, ‘I’ll find something, and it’s not as if Gran and I are down to our last penny. I do have some money tucked away against a rainy day. It’s just that I didn’t expect it to rain so heavily, so soon,’ she added with a touch of a smile.

  ‘Have you thought of taking in a lodger?’ asked Freddie. ‘It would bring in some money.’

  Clara hesitated. She glanced at Bernie. ‘What d’you think, Gran?’

  ‘I suppose it’s a thought. It would have to be someone working. We wouldn’t want them in the house all day, and they’d need to pay up front. We wouldn’t want any moonlight flits without paying the rent.’

  ‘I might have to ask the rent man,’ said Clara. ‘I’m not sure of the ins and outs of things when you let out part of the house you’re renting.’

  ‘Mrs Black would know,’ said Freddie. ‘She owns property over here. I could drop by hers on my way home in the morning and speak to Joy if Mrs Black’s not in. She could ask her about it and I’ll write and let you know what she says.’

  ‘You do that, lad,’ said Bernie. ‘We’ve a parlour and a bedroom fully furnished going for let. I’d like a man but I can’t see us getting one of them when there’s going to be a shortage.’

  So it was decided.

  Soon after, Clara went upstairs and brought down the bedding to air it. ‘Is there anything I can do to help?’ asked Freddie.

  ‘You can put the kettle on the fire. Might as well save the gas. I’ll make the cocoa in a minute.’ She looked up at him. ‘Will Hanny and Kenny be worried about you if you don’t turn up tonight?’

  ‘I’m sure when they see the fog they’ll realise what’s happened and expect me back tomorrow,’ he answered. ‘Don’t start worrying about them worrying about me. I was at sea for years and so my not coming home one night isn’t on that scale.’

  She smiled. ‘Sorry if you think I’m fussing.’

  ‘You’re not fussing, you’re just thoughtful of people,’ he said warmly.

  ‘Yer right there,’ said Bernie, looking up at the pair of them. ‘She thinks I don’t appreciate her but I know where I’d be without her.’

  ‘Goodness, Gran. Are you feeling all right?’ asked Clara, startled.

  Bernie scowled ferociously. ‘Learn to take a compliment, girl. I’ll be glad when yer both get to bed and leave me in peace. But no shenanigans upstairs.’

  Clara felt like sinking through the floor but Freddie said, ‘I could sleep in the parlour if you prefer, Mrs O’Toole?’

  ‘No, lad. Yer’ve got long legs and yer might as well have the bed.’

  Clara and Freddie heard little from her after that. He helped her take the shelves from the oven and wrap them i
n newspaper, and then carried them upstairs for her. He stayed outside on the landing while she went into her bedroom and offered to make his own bed. She shook her head. ‘No. You’re our guest. But you can put a match to the gaslight.’

  He did that while she made the bed, watching her swift, smooth, competent actions and thinking he would like to have tossed her onto the bed and kissed her, but he stayed where he was in the doorway until she came out, and then placed the oven shelf between the sheets.

  ‘I do appreciate this,’ he said when they both went downstairs.

  She glanced over her shoulder at him in the darkness. ‘It’s the least I can do after you made the journey over here to tell me about Aunt Ge-Gabrielle. I wonder if she’s received my second letter and read that, or whether she’s just stuck it in a drawer somewhere. I suppose I might never know if she doesn’t want anything to do with us.’

  ‘More fool her,’ said Freddie firmly, and he reached for her hand as they came to the bottom of the stairs. He squeezed it gently before releasing it and pushing open the kitchen door.

  Shortly after, they drank their cocoa and Clara told him where the lavatory was and helped her grandmother down the yard after he had visited it himself. The foghorns on the Mersey could still be heard and she hugged to herself the thought of Freddie being safe under their roof.

  There was no sign of him when she went upstairs to her bedroom but, as she lay in bed, she could picture him lying the other side of the wall and imagined what it would be like to have him around all the time. She thought of her father and was of the opinion that Dennis O’Toole would have liked Freddie Kirk.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Denny was dead! Her little brother was dead! Gabrielle crunched the letter in her hand and felt a need to sit down. A quarter of an hour ago she’d finished her packing and decided to make herself a sandwich before the taxi came to take her to the station. She had dismissed Mabel and so was looking after herself that morning. Absently, she had reached into one of the drawers beneath the table top for a knife and discovered not only the letters that had arrived the day of Martin’s death but another one that she must have placed there in a moment of absentmindedness.

  Reading her niece’s letter, it came as a terrible shock to learn that the brother she remembered being born was dead. She had forgotten the delight she and her sisters had felt when their mam had given birth to a boy at last. They had lit candles in church, praying that he would survive. Well, it seemed he had grown into a man, only to be killed in the bloody war. She was amazed at the grief she felt because she had deliberately put him out of her mind, knowing that if she thought of him too much she would never be able to break free of her mother. But now she remembered Dennis toddling around after her while she polished and scrubbed. She recalled giving him a pan and a wooden spoon to amuse himself and the din he had made. Her mother had complained that the noise hurt her head and wrenched the spoon from him.

  She felt a familiar anger, thinking of Bernie. What a terrible mother she had been to all of them. So why should she go and see her when in her heart she hoped she’d die and rot in hell? But her niece sounded a different kettle of fish altogether. She would like to meet her but she had to get away; she could not alter her plans. Perhaps she would send her a postcard from New York. Right now, she had little time to waste, as she’d had difficulty getting a berth on a liner and had to be in Liverpool within a few hours. Thank God, the snowfall that had delayed the first Grand National in years had gone. She’d wager a pound to a penny her mother would have had a bet on the favourite, which had won. No! She was not going to think about her anymore but concentrate on the holiday ahead. She had bought nothing in the way of new clothes, planning to purchase them in America instead. Preparing everything in a rush had meant not paying a visit to her son, but she would write to him once she was on the ship. Hopefully she would get the letter on a mail boat when the liner stopped off in Ireland and it would reach him in a few days.

  * * *

  ‘I don’t believe it!’ exclaimed Seb, gazing down at the letter in his hand.

  ‘What don’t you believe?’ asked Alice, placing two pairs of clean pyjamas in a suitcase before looking across the bed at him. The letter he had received the day of the funeral had caused a similar reaction, but at least that letter had given them hope.

  ‘Ma’s gone to New York.’ He sank onto the bed.

  Alice felt a stir of indignation mingled with relief. ‘Typical of her to tell you something after she’s done it.’ She snapped the suitcase shut and placed it on the floor.

  His face darkened. ‘She doesn’t even say when she’ll be back.’

  Alice sat on the bed and slid her arm around Seb’s waist. ‘You mustn’t let this upset you. We’ve got by without her for years and we’ll carry on doing so.’

  ‘I wouldn’t argue but… I’ll never understand how her mind works in a thousand years.’ He tore up the letter and tossed the pieces up in the air. They both watched as the scraps fluttered to the floor.

  ‘I won’t say the obvious,’ murmured Alice.

  He stared at her. ‘You think she’s only ever thought of herself.’

  ‘Wouldn’t I be right? I’m sure she does have feelings for you, but she’s always put herself first. And she’s got worse as she’s got older.’

  ‘I wonder why she’s going to America when she must have unhappy memories of the place. She was abandoned there by Robbie Bennett.’ He scowled. ‘When I think that for years I believed he was my father… But when I learnt she had lied about him, I realised she had lied to me about a lot of things and came to believe I hardly knew her at all.’ He sighed heavily. ‘It’s obvious she’s not going to visit her mother.’

  ‘Poor Clara. After all her efforts to try and unite them.’ There was a short silence. ‘I wonder what your mother’s going to do about the farm?’

  ‘She’s put in a manager,’ said Seb tersely.

  ‘At least she hasn’t left that for you to arrange,’ said Alice. ‘Which is a good job because you wouldn’t have been able to do it with going to Oxfordshire.’ She squeezed his waist. ‘I still wish I could go with you.’

  Seb reached out and touched her soft-skinned cheek with the back of his hand. ‘We’ve discussed this, love. Tilly’s working at the office and Hanny’s got her hands full with the twins and her mother. We can’t expect either of them to look after Georgie during the day. I’d like you with me but…’ He got up and went over to the rain-splattered window and gazed out towards the grey waters of the Dee.

  Alice followed him over and slipped her hand through his arm, feeling a need to touch him and reassure him all the time at the moment. ‘At least the snow has gone and the river isn’t flooding here,’ she murmured. Parts of low-lying Wirral were flooded.

  ‘What time did I say Freddie was coming to drive me to the station?’ he asked.

  ‘Nine o’clock. And I’ve just remembered something.’ Her green eyes brightened. ‘Did Freddie tell you that he went over to Liverpool the other week and saw Clara? Hanny has invited her to the twins’ christening party.’

  ‘He told me that he saw both Clara and her grandmother. Clara had had the flu and the old woman had a bad bout of bronchial trouble, but it seems she’s still holding her own. She must be as tough as old boots. He also said that the cinema where Clara is a cashier had to close down, so she’s not working at the moment. Several members of the staff died.’

  Alice shuddered. ‘I couldn’t bear it if I lost any of the children.’

  Seb agreed, looking back to the day when Donald had mentioned the Spanish flu to him and of the soldiers going down like nine pins to it. He had recently received a letter from him, and when he had gone into the office yesterday, he had discovered Tilly typing a letter to him, apparently thanking him for some photographs he had sent her and bringing the American up to date with what they were all doing.

  ‘At least some good has come out of Clara’s determination to get in touch with your moth
er. It looks like Freddie’s interested in her,’ said Alice.

  Seb glanced at her. ‘It mightn’t last. They’re both only young.’

  ‘Perhaps it will. Although I don’t think Tilly’s pleased.’

  ‘Has she said anything to you about them?’

  ‘No. But I know her and I’ve seen her face when Clara and Freddie have been mentioned in one breath. Anyway, we’d best drop the subject. We’ve got enough on our minds with your trip to Oxfordshire. I do hope you get the diagnosis you want and that you make it back for the twins’ christening. Right now, though, we have to make the most of this time together.’ He nodded and kissed her. She wished with all her heart that she could have gone with him, but as they lay on the bed, all she could do at that moment was to show him that she loved him.

  * * *

  The evening of the following day Alice received a telegram from Seb assuring her of his safe arrival. Three days after that she received another one saying that he’d had an operation and that the surgeon had sounded positive. If only they’d had a telephone, at least she could have spoken to him. Being kept in the dark was driving her to distraction, but the next day she received a letter in which he had written:

  They use medical jargon but the bit I understood was that they’ve done a tendon transplant, which should give me more movement in my arm. Trouble is, love, I could be down here longer than I thought because I’ll need physiotherapy.

  Her heart sank when she read those words and she knew that this time she could not bear waiting to see how he was coping for weeks on end. She presumed that, financially, Seb had scraped the barrel in order for him to have this operation, but she was determined to go and see him. It was a while since she had rooted in the attic for stuff to take to the pawnshop but that was what she was going to have to do if she was to visit him. But, of course, even if she was able to raise the money to make the journey, she would need someone to look after Georgie during the day. Naturally, her thoughts turned to Hanny and Kenny, they’d be able to advise her. So she hurried out with Georgie to their house.