Hold Me: Music For The Heart - Book One

by Faith Starr

  “I didn’t care whether they understood or not. I knew music was all I wanted to do. It was my passion. Still is. I also knew no amount of college would ever teach me what real-life experience could provide.”

  “And your sister?”

  It’s good she couldn’t see my face because then she’d see the tension pooling in it along with my jaw. Surprisingly, she didn’t say anything about my body tightening up.

  “Dani and I are a team. We made a deal early on that we’d stick together, no matter what, no matter where our paths led.”

  She nodded against my chest.

  “Do you have any sisters or brothers?” I wanted the focus off me and onto something else.

  “Nope. I’m an only child.”

  I fiddled around with her nightie, surprised the thing had remained on her body after the kitchen-counter scene, the transfer to her bedroom, and the sex. I caressed the soft skin on her back. She screamed femininity. Everything about her was girlie. I fucking loved it.

  “Your parents must be very proud of you.” I brushed my fingers across her back.

  “My mother is. My father passed away during my freshman year of high school.”

  She stopped playing with my chest hair. A pang of pain jolted inside me for how difficult that must’ve been for her.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “It is what it is. I’m a survivor.” Her tone was flat.

  Ditto. Something else we had in common.

  The room fell quiet, other than the sound of the Soundscapes Music Choice channel playing on the television in the background. I think both of us had fallen asleep without realizing we’d left it on. The soothing music helped calm the heaviness which suddenly filled the air.

  15

  Teva

  Holy shit. I think Joey wanted to kill me. I had never felt so tired after just starting my day. And thoughts about my parents were now swarming around in my head. Not good thoughts either. What a bummer after having engaged in such a wonderful experience with an even more incredible man.

  “I was going to ask if there’s anything special you want to do today, but I’m too tired to think.”

  The tension lingering in the air, though, required an intervention. “How about I make us breakfast, and then we make a plan? I think we could both use some fuel for energy after last night and this morning.”

  “Good idea. Do you want some help in the kitchen?”

  “Sure. Let me clean myself up first.”

  “I’m kind of fond of the dirty you.” He grinned, rolled onto his side, and pulled my body against him.

  “That’s good to hear, but the dirty me has to get clean so I can feed you.”

  “I appreciate you thinking about my needs.”

  Why wouldn’t I? The man had been thinking about mine since the minute I’d met him, which surprisingly, had only been two days ago. It felt like we had known each other for ages.

  Once in the bathroom, I figured I’d take a quick shower. Joey and I had worked up quite a sweat with our bedroom activities.

  I’d closed my eyes to rinse the shampoo out of my hair when a cold blast of air hit me. Joey pulled the shower curtain about a quarter of the way open and peeked inside. “Do you mind if I join you?”

  “If you join me, I don’t think we’ll ever eat.”

  “I hate to admit it, but I don’t think I could get it up right now even if I wanted to. I believe my body could use a little time-out. Fuck, I must be getting old.” He shook his head. “I never thought I’d ever hear myself say those words. Why don’t we just keep them between us?”

  Joey cracked me up.

  I stepped aside to make room for him to enter, allowing him to rinse himself while I got busy using the body wash, the fragrant smell filling the small quarters. I hoped he had nothing against the aroma because I didn’t have one with a masculine scent. I didn’t usually plan for male visitors showering in my bathroom.

  “Speaking of which, how old are you?” I wanted to know.

  “Are we talking mental age or physical age?”

  “Physical, smartass.”

  We exchanged places, so I could rinse the soap off my body and he could shampoo his hair.

  “Twenty-six. I know it’s not polite to ask a woman her age, but fuck it, how old are you?”

  “Twenty-five.”

  “Good. That means I’m not rocking the boat with you then.”

  Playfully, I slapped his chest. “Am I the oldest woman you’ve ever been with?”

  “Negative, baby. You’d be surprised by how many older women derive pleasure from bedding musicians.”

  I could only imagine.

  “What’s the oldest woman you’ve ever been with?”

  We switched places again.

  “I have to say, I’m going to smell like a girl all day after using this soap. At least the guys won’t be around to give me shit about it.”

  “Tell them you had a sleep-over with a woman and showered at her place. That’ll shut them up.”

  “When it comes to you, I think I’d rather keep things between us.”

  Aww, how sweet. Those words meant more to me than he could imagine. It meant he respected me even after I’d been so free with him with my body so soon after meeting him.

  I had finished cleaning myself but wanted to continue with our conversation, so I stood and watched him soap the hard muscles of his arms and chest. I couldn’t help but stare. He was so darn handsome. I never thought in a million years I’d have a man with Joey’s looks showering with me. Hell, I also never thought I’d behave like a groupie and sleep with a rock star the night I met him.

  When he finished soaping and rinsing, he focused his attention on me. “Probably in the forties.”

  That took me by surprise. “Really? Were they married?”

  “No. I don’t go down that road. None of us do.”

  “That’s good to know.” Too bad Dr. Shithead didn’t have the same moral compass.

  “Is it now?”

  He drew me in for a hug, which evolved into a kiss—a long and passionate one, one that lasted so long the water turned cold. Guess we had used up all the hot water.

  “Brrr.” I shivered.

  “How selfish of me.”

  He shut off the water, stepped out, and pulled two towels from the linen closet. He wrapped one around his waist and draped the other one over my shoulders. I reached for the edges of the soft cotton material and hugged myself in the warmth of it. He rubbed my arms to help create more heat in my body. “Better?”

  “Much. Thank you. Have you always been such a gentleman?”

  He shrugged. “I guess it’s just who I am.”

  I thought highly of him, perhaps too highly for the short period of time I’d known him.

  Once dried, I slipped into the squishy comfort of the cotton robe I kept in the bathroom. I flipped my hair over and wrapped it in a towel, turban-style.

  “Hey! You just gave me another shower.” He wiped his thighs.

  Oops. Nonetheless, his outburst made me giggle. “Sorry.”

  He smiled. “You have the cutest laugh.”

  His comment shut me up. He had the cutest everything. Something I would never tell him. At least not at this point in the game.

  “Breakfast?” I stood in the doorway to the bathroom and knotted the tie on my robe.

  “Sounds great. Let me put on some pants before I help you, though. I would hate for your roommate to show up and see me naked in your kitchen.”

  “The thought of seeing you naked in my kitchen is a nice visual, but not the part about Lily showing up unexpectedly. But she’s at work, so we don’t have to worry about that happening right now.” I tapped the door frame.

  He chuckled when I left.

  The eggs were already scrambling on the stove when he entered the kitchen. His hotness had me eating him up alive with my eyes.

  “How unfair. How do you expect me to cook for you when you’re standing so close to me looking all s
exy like that?” I gestured to his pecs and six-pack abs.

  He didn’t pay my comment any mind. Instead, he clapped his hands together and rubbed them. “All right, I’m officially on kitchen duty. What can I do to help?”

  “Do you cook often?”

  “You’d be surprised by how domesticated I am. But truth be told, Dani prepares most of our meals when we eat at home. She’s a much better cook than I am.”

  Hmm. What task should I give him?

  The eggs and bagels were already taken care of.

  “How about you get the coffee ready?”

  “I don’t know. The last time you offered me coffee, things got a little crazy.”

  “You’re right. Why don’t you set the table, then? The dishes are in that cabinet over there.” I nodded toward it.

  “And the silverware?”

  Again I nodded, this time to the appropriate drawer.

  “You and your sister seem very close.” I stirred the eggs.

  “We are. She’s the only family I have around.” He pulled forks and knives out of the drawer.

  “What about your parents?”

  He stiffened, then proceeded to reach inside the cupboard where he got two plates. He took everything he had gathered into the dining room, setting the table for two.

  Through the opening between the kitchen and dining room, he looked my way. “Dani and I don’t speak to our parents anymore.”

  He came back into the kitchen. “Where are the glasses?”

  I pointed to the cabinet next to me. I wasn’t about to probe further about the parent issue because if he wanted to talk about it, he would’ve elaborated. He didn’t. I got it. I didn’t want to discuss mine either, so I dropped it.

  “Eggs are ready.” Being that the plates were set in the dining room, I carried the pan in there and scooped a few scrambled eggs onto each plate, giving him more. The toaster dinged immediately afterward. What perfect timing.

  “I’ll take care of it, since I’m right here,” he informed from the kitchen.

  “There are tongs on top of the toaster to pull the bagels out, so you don’t burn yourself. I’ll get the cream cheese, butter, and orange juice.”

  After getting everything organized on the table, we sat down.

  “This looks delicious.” His eyes opened wide, he shoveled a forkful of eggs into his mouth. “Yum. It tastes delicious too. Thank you for making breakfast.”

  “It was my pleasure.” I spoke the truth. I didn’t think I had ever prepared a meal for a man before. It felt pretty darned good too. “So, I’m curious about the forty-year-old women you say you’ve slept with.”

  He eyed me. “What is it you’re curious about?” He set his fork down, slathered some cream cheese on half his bagel, and took a bite.

  “Which do you prefer, younger or older?”

  “They’re very different from each other.” He set his bagel down, finished chewing, and took a sip of juice.

  “How so?” I wanted as much information as he would give me.

  He cocked a brow. “Are you sure you want to talk about this?”

  “There’s so much talk about cougars these days. You know, older women hooking up with younger men. I’m interested in hearing what all the fascination is about. I know older men love being with younger women, but I’m interested in the opposite scenario.”

  He leaned back in his chair. “Not that I’ve been with many older women, but the ones I have been with were secure in the bedroom. They knew exactly what made them feel good. And they had no problem voicing it. Younger women tend to come off as more emotionally attached to sex, clingier. A lot of them think one night of fun will lead to the white-picket-fence thing, whereas with older women, they know it’s a one-time deal. At least that’s been my experience. I could be totally off base in my perception.”

  Great. I fit perfectly into his younger-women category, especially the part about wanting more after one night of fun. How pathetic.

  He’d given me no hints, either, so I had no clue what he sought—a good time had by all, or for this thing brewing between us to lead somewhere. Come hell or high water, though, I wouldn’t bring the topic up, especially after the comment he’d made about younger women being needy. Besides, that type of conversation would have to wait until a more appropriate time. This wasn’t it.

  He leaned forward and resumed eating. I sat back in my chair, too stuffed to eat any more. I took a sip of my juice. We never bothered to make coffee after all.

  “How about you? Here you are, this beautiful and sexy woman, who I’m sure a lot of men must take interest in. Have you been with any older men?”

  Now came the time to tell him about my one and only. Whatever. I had nothing to hide. I felt no shame for having only been intimate with one man, but I did feel a little embarrassed about my lack of experience. But hey, maybe Joey would find that alluring and respectable.

  I swallowed hard before replying, knowing damn well how he’d react to hearing my response. “During undergrad, I dated a professor.”

  He gaped at me as if he couldn’t believe the words which had just spilled out of my mouth. The man almost choked on the bite of bagel he had in his mouth. He took a sip of orange juice to wash it down.

  “That’s fucking hot.”

  Yup, the exact response I’d expected.

  I put my hand up to simmer him down. “He wasn’t my professor. He was Lily’s.”

  He leaned forward, interested. “Please continue.”

  I wanted to smack the inquisitiveness right off his adorable face.

  “She used to grade papers for him. Sometimes I’d go with her to help out. That’s how I met him. Our relationship didn’t last long, because I found out he had a wife. What an asshole.” The thought of Dr. Shithead had me tensing up in disgust.

  The enthusiasm left Joey’s face, replaced with surprise. “He never told you he had a wife?”

  I shook my head.

  “Damn. He is an asshole.”

  “He certainly is.”

  “Okay, let’s forget about the asshole. Any others?”

  I’m glad he found talking about my past relationships or lack thereof so fascinating.

  This time I shook my head with more gusto. His eyes became wide. I was just full of surprises this morning, wasn’t I?

  “The asshole was the only guy you’ve been with?” He smiled from ear to ear.

  “You don’t have to look so excited about it.”

  “But I am. That means I’m the only other guy you’ve been with.”

  “That would be correct.”

  My cheeks burned from how awkward I felt. I took a sip of orange juice to help cool me off. It didn’t. Instead, it created more acid churning in my stomach.

  He sighed. “Fuck, Teva. Where have you been hiding? I can’t believe nobody has snatched you up by now.”

  Similar to him, for instance?

  Joey Fine. Teva Feingold.

  Shit, I wouldn’t even have to change my name if we got married. I could simply drop the Gold from it and voilà.

  Now that was a premonition if I’d ever had one. Not that it would come to fruition. As if.

  Stop this insanity!

  “That’s sweet of you to say. But nope, nobody has as of yet.”

  “I find you so respectable. You’d be surprised how many women throw themselves at me and the guys without a care in the world, no forethought whatsoever, until after the deed is done, and then they get upset when we don’t want more.”

  Pouting, I put out my hand. “Didn’t I do the same thing?”

  He sat upright, clasping his hands behind his head. “You didn’t start that night with the intention of it ending how it did. Most groupies do. Not that it matters, because I viewed you differently from the get-go. I still do. I have to say, I’m pleasantly surprised by how things are turning out so far.”

  If he only knew how much giddiness flowed through my veins, my body now all tingly and full of euphoric energy.
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br />   He reached his hand across the table, and I put mine in it. He entwined our fingers, wearing a smile. “Is there anything special you want to do today, since we both have the day off? I have plans with the guys later, but I’m all yours until then.”

  Of course, my mind zeroed in on the part about him having plans with the guys later on, wondering what they had planned and who with, when I should’ve been staying in the moment, happy that I’d have quality time alone with him until then. Plus, it meant I’d have ample time left over to catch up on schoolwork once he left.

  “Let’s go the zoo!”

  My excitement startled him. He jumped in his chair, then started laughing. “The zoo?”

  “Yeah. I haven’t been to the zoo in forever. And from what I see out the window, it’s a beautiful day outside, no rain clouds in sight. What do you say? I think it’ll be fun.”

  “I can’t remember the last time I went to the zoo. Sure, why not? Let’s go to the zoo.”

  “Yay!” I clapped. I rose from my chair and started clearing the table. He also rose, stopping me in my tracks, the dirty dishes in my hands. He cupped my cheeks and kissed me, leaving me breathless. “What was that for?”

  He shrugged. “Just because.”

  Warmth and another bout of tingly sensations erupted throughout my body.

  We worked together to clean up the kitchen. Joey had no extra clothes with him, and mine would never fit his large frame, so he had to wear the same ones he’d had on the night before. I told him I wouldn’t tell anybody. He gave me another kiss. “You’re so adorable.”

  Ah, my heart went pitter-patter.

  It didn’t take us long to get to the zoo, about a fifteen-minute drive, one filled with nonstop conversation.

  Joey threw on a baseball cap before exiting the car, saying he usually didn’t have to go incognito, but he didn’t want to risk any fans recognizing him. He wanted the day to be ours alone. I hadn’t even given that a thought—that he would have to hide himself in order to go out and have fun. Him saying he wanted this day to be ours was so enamoring.

  The zoo was more fun than I’d remembered. Maybe it had to do with my appreciation for the animals and the life they lived, a sad one in confinement. I let that thought slide. Or maybe it had to do with my present company. In the past I had usually gone with my parents. Blah.