Bad Nanny (The Bad Nanny Trilogy #1)

by C. M. Stunich

  “That was my favorite one of the Big Four,” she whispers and then laughs, locking down on me hard. I groan and slide out, finding that I'm already half-hard again. Jesus Christ. This girl is so going to kill me. I toss my condom into the trash and get another from the box I stashed in her nightstand drawer. When I roll back over and she sees it, Brooke raises her eyebrows.

  “Already?” she whispers and I shrug my shoulders, sweat pouring down my back, that weird male satisfaction creeping over me. I know Brooke's, like, her own person and totally independent and I'm a serious feminist and all that, but … God, I so want her to be mine. Every fucking molecule in my body says that this is where I belong, here, with this chick and her ugly dog and her two inherited kids.

  That fucking terrifies me. I know it's just because she gave me her virginity and all that, but I need it to stop. I need these feelings to go away because I have a life in Las Vegas. I have a condo that I spent my parents' life insurance money on, a condo that I have to make big payments on every month. I have a job and friends and a lifestyle that I love.

  This girl, she can't take those kids to Vegas, and God knows if there's anywhere for her to study down here. And me, I could never move back to this shit hole in the middle of nowhere. I'd kill myself.

  I start to panic and slick my fingers back over my hair.

  “You're not down for another go?” I joke as Brooke blushes a little and turns toward me, reaching out to brush some hair off my sweaty forehead. The way she looks at me … that's a little scary, too, like maybe I'm not the only person in this room with a crush.

  I'd so totally ruin her life though; I know I would.

  I look down at her, her pale green eyes somehow brilliant in the dim light, her chocolate braid thrown casually over one shoulder, her body pale and perfect and curvy.

  That's the problem right there, I think, as I look her over. We just haven't fucked enough. I've been taking it slow and easy with this girl, but I need to do what I always do back home. I need to spend days in this bed with her, fucking her slow and fast and hard and easy. Just over and over and over again until this weird possession and contentment I'm feeling fades away into nothing.

  “Please say yes,” I croon, leaning forward and putting our heads together. If Brooke notices that I'm having a silent panic attack inside this crazy head of mine, she doesn't let on.

  My right hand drops to Brooke's hip and squeezes the flesh, drawing a tiny moan from her throat.

  “Okay,” she whispers as I sit up and flip her over, drawing her ass up to my hips. I tear the condom package open with my teeth and slide the lubed latex over my shaft, surprised that I'm already this hard and needy.

  I guide my dick to her opening and push inside the wet, swollen flesh, loving how tight she clamps around me, how she wiggles her ass back against me with each thrust. I let my head fall back and refuse to allow my thoughts to overwhelm me. Honestly, deep inside of her like this, they barely register. I let my body become a hot, messy twist of sex and need, taking Brooke hard and fast and … angry? Yeah, maybe I'm a little bit pissed, but it makes for good, hard sex, drawing this keening sound from her throat that drives me completely up the wall.

  Two, three more rounds of this and I'll feel better.

  Honestly, it takes like six before I can even dream of stopping.

  Monday morning.

  How fucking exciting.

  It's like the most chaotic day I've had since I got here.

  “Uncle Zay, Dodger's dogging the chihuahua again,” Kinzie says as I struggle to get Sadie to take her bottle. She just flat-out refuses to eat this morning, screaming and wailing no matter what I do. It's not a diaper change she needs, not her fucking Binky, not a bowl of applesauce.

  I even—and this is so fucking gross—took the kid's temperature with one of those butt thermometer things you're supposed to use. Nothing. No temp. The kid is fine.

  “Okay, okay, I give up,” I say, putting Sadie back in the crib so I can scramble around and get the rest of the pack ready for school. Brooke had some school thing and bailed early so it's just me, myself, and fucking cocksucking I. “Where's the dog?” I ask as I pause next to the mirror and find that my hair is sticking out every which way; I look like a crazy person right now. Fuck, I feel like a crazy person.

  “In the front yard,” Bella says, standing next to the door as Grace giggles and rushes down the sidewalk towards the road.

  Holy. Goddamn. Hell.

  I sprint outside and snatch the little monster under the arms right as a car zooms by and honks at me, flipping us off out the window as they jam down a residential street at fifty miles an hour. Fucker.

  “Who let you out?” I ask the kid as she laughs and I drag her back to the front door, pausing to notice the distinct lack of dogging dogs. As gross as it is to see a Chinese crested mounting an ancient toothless chihuahua, I feel a wave of dread when I can't find the horrid sight anywhere in the yard. “Where are the dogs?” I ask Kinzie and Bella. “And who opened the front door?”

  “They had to go to the bathroom,” Bella explains as she tosses chocolate hair over her shoulder like her aunt. “So I let them out. Then they started dogging. I don't know where they are now.”

  I groan and slap my hands to my face.

  “Okay. Get in there and find some clothes for school. We're already running late, okay?”

  I usher the demons back into their lair and shut the door, jogging down the sidewalk to look for the stupid rats. God, I hate little dogs. As I'm running, my phone starts to buzz in my pocket.

  It's Rob.

  “Uh, yeah? Kind of busy right now.”

  “Well make some time. Are the kids in class?” I'm panting as I run, realizing as I catch the curious stares of neighbors that I'm not actually wearing a shirt. Oops. I took it off after one of the twins slapped a sucker onto my back and the damn thing wouldn't come off. Told ya: their spit is like glue.

  “Not exactly,” I say as stop at the corner and look around. No dogs in sight. Shit. I should've checked to see how many of the rats were missing. Aren't there like four chihuahuas or something? Or is it three? “We're running a bit late here. Look, Rob, I don't have a lot of time to chat. What do you want?”

  “Wow. Just wow. Thanks for asking after Mercedes' parents, you asshole.”

  I start jogging back in the opposite direction, although I do cringe a little. He's kind of right. But then, he's also a complete dickhead.

  “Last time I talked to you, you said they were stable. Did something happen?”

  “They're doing great actually, thank you for finally asking. The doctors are saying we may actually be able to take them home tomorrow.”

  “Killer,” I say as I move past the house … and find the twins in the driveway with chalk, still wearing their My Little Pony pajamas. “Hey. Get your asses back in the house and get dressed for school.” The identical little devils screech and throw their chalk on the lawn, disappearing into the open front door of the house. I'm still standing there when the other two chihuahuas make a break for it. “Oh no you don't.” I hook my broken cell phone between my ear and shoulder as I scoop the dogs up, one in each hand.

  “Did you just curse at my children?” Rob roars over the phone as I struggle to get the dogs inside. “You better be talking to somebody else.”

  “Of course I'm not talking to the kids,” I lie as I head back inside and toss the rat dogs onto the couch. Dodger and the old one will have to wait for later. I just can't deal with this shit right now. “Why? What do you want? I'm seriously swamped right now, Rob.”

  “I got a call from our tenant. He's moving out today. Normally I'd ask for a sixty day notice, but you know how long I've been trying to get rid of the guy.”

  “Yup, yup,” I say as Sadie tosses her head back and lets out a banshee worthy wail. “What's that got to do with me?”

  “I told him to leave the key with you, but he said you hadn't been staying at the house. Where the fuck are you? I
need you to go over and check the place out, make sure it's clean, and then get it posted on Craigslist for me.”

  “Are you … kidding me? When the hell am I going to have time to do that?”

  “You're not at that girl's house still, are you? You're not a fucking nanny, Zayden. You don't know anything about children. And I don't want my kids exposed to your weird sex stuff.”

  “Weird sex stuff?” I echo and then notice the girls are standing on the stairs, eavesdropping. They giggle as I point a finger at them and mouth go, heading back to the crib to pick up the baby. “I'm not the one whose daughter saw him giving mommy a VJ in the shower, okay?”

  “What? What the hell are you talking about? Zayden, get your ass back to the duplex. Don't make me call this girl myself and tell her you're a fraud.”

  “Look, she already knows I'm not actually a nanny, okay? You're a little late to the game. Besides, where the hell would you get her phone number?”

  Sadie screeches and thrashes around as I struggle to get her into the high chair.

  “What's going on?” I hear Mercedes on the other end of the line and groan, letting my head fall back. “Is Sadie okay? You know, if she keeps screaming like that, she probably needs to poop. The doctor said it seemed like she was getting constipated. When's the last time she went?”

  “I … have no idea,” I concede as I feel a flutter of panic in my chest. Did I seriously almost consider staying in town? Like, even a little? I get that these aren't all my kids, that I get to give four of them back at the end of the week, but don't you think Rob and Mercedes would milk the shit out of me as a babysitter? No, you don't need to tell me. I know they would.

  And then … do I really want to seriously get with anybody? Dating people usually leads to kids at some point. It's practically inevitable.

  “What do you want me to do?” I ask as I put a hand to my forehead and struggle to take a deep breath. A second later, there's an angry knock at the door.

  “You might want to call up her pediatrician and see if you can get her in today,” Mercedes says as I slog my way over to the door and find the neighbor standing on the porch with a dog in either hand.

  “These are yours?” she asks, her wrinkly mouth pinched up, eyes flicking up and down my body with a level of distaste I haven't seen from a woman in a long time. “They knocked over my trash and pulled dirty diapers everywhere. Somebody's going to have to come over and clean that up.”

  I just stare at her as I take the dogs and drop them on the floor.

  “I left the number in my notes. If you call her up now, I bet you could get Sadie in. She knows us. The co-pay is a little pricey, but you know how Rob's insurance is. Could you take care of that and we'll pay you as soon as we can? We've really blown every last cent on this trip.”

  “Yeah. Yep. Uh-huh.” I stare at the neighbor for a moment and then tuck my hand over the phone so Mercedes won't hear. “My baby's super sick,” I say, pausing for dramatic effect as Sadie lets out another scream. “I can't really get on that diaper thing like, right this second.”

  “Uncle Zay!” Bella screeches from the top of the stairs. “Kinzie stole my Monster High shirt and now she won't give it back!”

  “She's a liar! This is my Monster High shirt. Hers is the one with Draculaura on it.”

  “Nuh uh!”

  “If you can't come over here and clean up these diapers, get someone else to do it. Don't make me call animal control.”

  “Look lady, I don't know how a five pound rat could knock over your trash can. Maybe they took advantage of the diapers, but I doubt they knocked the damn thing over. Sorry, but if you want to call animal control then go for it, I just can't deal with this right now.”

  The woman huffs and spins on her heel as I slam the door and lean my back against it, sliding to the floor. We are so epically late at this point it doesn't even matter.

  “Call the doctor. Got it. Check the duplex. Got it. Do I really have to post it on Craigslist?”

  “We can't make the mortgage without a renter, Zay. I hate to ask, but if you could please get some pictures uploaded, that'd be great. You are such a doll. I love you, you know that, right?”

  “Yup,” I say as Dodger trots over to me and lifts his leg. Before my addled mind even really registers what's happening, he's pissed. All. The. Hell. Over. Me. “Can I go now, please?”

  “Of course, honey. We'll see you in three short nights, okay?”

  “Got it.”

  I hang up, struggling to get the end call button to work with my broken cell screen.

  I thought I was getting the hang of all this, but I feel so off my game today it's not funny.

  “Are we going to school now?” Bella asks as she appears in a pair of lime green fuzzy pajama pants, yellow rain boots, and a lacy tank top that I think she stole from Brooke. “I'm dressed now.”

  I lean over and put my forehead on my knees, trying to breathe.

  Five days and it'll all be over. Just five short days.

  I can so handle this.

  I think.

  When Brooke gets back from class, I'm just finishing up my dog piss/shit cleaning spree. I swear to Christ, if Rob doesn't start potty training these rats, I'm going to fly my ass up from Vegas for Thanksgiving and stuff the little fuckers for dinner.

  “Hey,” I say as I sit up and swipe an arm across my forehead.

  “Hey,” Brooke says as she comes in with another girl on her heels, a girl with electric blue hair.

  A girl that I recognize.

  “Holy shit,” I say as I lean back on my heels and stare at Tinley Horton. She freezes when she spots me, raising a brow with four piercings stuffed through it.

  “Holy shit yourself,” she says as Brooke looks between the two of us with a confused expression flooding her face. “Zayden Roth. Wow. Never expected to see you here again—especially not on your knees cleaning … is that dog poop?”

  “Wow.” I stand up and strip off the black latex gloves I put on for cleaning, looking my old flame over from head to toe. She looks damn good, exactly like the type of girl I usually go for, all tatted and pierced up and badass. “I thought you'd moved to New York?” I ask as Tinley shrugs her shoulders and gives me an appraising once-over. If her expression is anything to go by, she likes what she sees.

  “I did. But I moved back last year to take care of my mom.” I nod as we scope each other out, shocked that the chick I took to senior prom is standing in Brooke's living room. I haven't seen her in like, eleven years.

  “You two know each other?” Brooke asks, pointing between the two of us. Standing next to Tinley, she looks so ridiculously out of place in her big camel colored wool coat and neon red cocktail dress. It's so totally inappropriate for school—but in the best way possible. Paired with a set of white running shoes? Yeah. Total mess. Total adorable mess.

  Tinley's got on these tight zebra patterned leggings and a neon pink tank that says Fuck Men on it. Huh. I like that, too, but not as much as Brooke's outfit.

  “Brooke and I are actually in the same population sampling class, something I didn't realize until today since I hardly go.” Tinley lifts her hand up and gestures at me. “I warned her about my ex last week, and that got us talking today. Didn't know I'd get to see you when she invited me over.”

  Tinley's lips curve in a very familiar shape, a shape that I've seen on a hundred other girls. It says I so want to fuck you.

  Brooke notices and her face falls completely, crashing into this expression of dread that makes my heart hurt for her. Damn. Damn. Damn.

  “I took Tinley to prom,” I say, lifting up my palm in a useless gesture. I don't mention the fact that we fucked in the back of my Geo both before and after prom. Doubt Brooke wants to know about that.

  “This is such a crazy coincidence,” Tinley says as she moves over to me in her neon pink heels and gestures me in for a hug. She smells like this wild perfume, some hipster scent that smells like cloves and tobacco. Brooke watches our
entire exchange with a a frown. “We were planning on studying, but now that I see you're here, maybe we could do something a little more exciting?”

  “I have to pick up the kids pretty quick here,” I say as I reach up and scratch at the back of my head. “What did you have in mind?”

  “The kids?” Tinley asks as she raises her brows at me, pink painted lips picking up at the corners as she takes me in again, much more slowly this time. It's not a mystery to anyone in here that she's checking me out. I feel bad for Brooke, like maybe I should say something. But we're not together, so what the hell am I going to do? Blurt out how I took her virginity last week? Naw. Not my style.

  “Zayden's helping me with my sister's kids,” Brooke says as she gestures at me and tries to explain our weird temporary situation. “She took off and left the country, so I'm taking care of them. I kind of hired Zayden as my nanny.”

  “That is so fucking cute,” Tinley says as she runs her long rainbow colored nails through her hair and smiles wickedly in my direction. Either she's not picking up on the leave my man the fuck alone vibes that Brooke's giving off or she doesn't care. I'm not entirely sure what to think about the whole damn situation. I mean, it's cute that Brooke's looking at Tinley like she's the enemy, like I really am her guy. But it's also kind of terrifying, too. “Well, maybe when you get off work, the two of us could hang out?”

  “I'm actually on my way back to Vegas in a few days,” I say with a slight shrug, but that doesn't do much help Brooke's expression. “Kind of working nonstop until then. I've got my brother's kids to take care of, too, until he gets back into town.”

  “Vegas? Seriously? My best friend's getting married there next week. We're all flying out to hang for a weekend.” Tinley gets her phone from her back pocket and passes it to me. “Plug your number in and maybe we could hang out then? What do you do there?”

  “I work as a body piercer,” I say as I toss the gloves onto the table next to Sadie's crib and start typing in my digits. Brooke watches me the entire time, but doesn't say a word, pushing her glasses gently up her nose. She's wearing the big, thick black ones again. No time for contacts since I made her late as fuck this morning.