Saturday (Timeless Series #6)

by E. L. Todd

  He glanced at my door before he looked at me again. That intense look was on his face, the same one he gave me in the bar and the moment we met. His eyes were dark, like he was thinking of a single thing to the exclusion of everything else. The look was unnerving because it was so intimate. He stared at me in a way no one else ever did.

  The hair on the back of my neck stood on end.

  He took a step closer to me, closing the gap between us.

  My chest heaved with the breath I tried to take. My lungs burned and the acid pooled in my stomach. His proximity terrified me. He said he wouldn’t kiss me and he didn’t strike me as the kind of man to go back on his word, but I was nervous nonetheless.

  His face was close to mine, and the tip of his shoes touched the end of my feet. The scent of his cologne and natural scent washed over me, a mixture of Old Spice and masculinity. His chin had been shaved a few days ago, and the hair was already starting to come back in. His lips were irresistible, thin and soft but so kissable. I hadn’t kissed a man in a long time. I couldn’t even remember how it used to feel.

  I wanted to step back, to put distance between us. But I didn’t.

  “I’m not going to kiss you.” His eyes were stuck on my lips, watching them part in surprise. “Unless you want me to.”

  I did.

  But I didn’t.

  My throat went dry and I couldn’t speak. Kyle made me comfortable, but he also terrified me at the same time. All men did.

  “But can we do something else?”

  My breathing hitched. “I don’t catch your meaning…”

  “Can I hug you?”

  “Hug me?” I blurted out the words without thinking, saying them with unease.

  “You know what a hug is, don’t you? The affection shared between friends and family…”

  “I just wasn’t expecting you to say that.”

  “Does that mean I can?”

  A hug was harmless. It wasn’t any different than holding hands. That was something I can do. “Sure.”

  His hands immediately gripped my waist, feeling the area just below my ribs. He rubbed the area gently before his hands glided to my back. He took his time getting there, feeling every inch of me.

  He took a final step, closing the gap between us entirely. His arms wrapped around me, taking up my entire back, and he pulled me against his chest. Without any warning, he placed his forehead to mine, his lips just inches away from my mouth.

  I’d never had a hug like this before.

  He looked down into my face, his eyes glued to my lips. His thick arms formed steel cages around me, protecting me from everyone and everything. His chest felt powerful against mine. With every breath he took, it felt like a concrete wall was pressing against me.

  One hand moved up my back, migrating past my shoulder blades and to the back of my neck. His fingers massaged the area gently before they migrated into my hair. He clasped the strands and got a hold of me, keeping me in place.

  Now I couldn’t breathe.

  He gently guided me against the wall and cornered me, giving me nowhere to run or hide. His heartbeat could be felt against my chest. It was pounding hard, matching the same pace as my own. He felt exactly what I felt.

  His hand squeezed my back, bunching up my blouse in his fingertips. He never remained still even for a moment. He gripped me tightly in any way he could. His other hand continued to fist my hair, feeling the soft strands against his fingertips.

  A quiet moan escaped his lips, almost inaudible.

  I tried to control my breathing but I struggled. My body burned with excitement, feeling the energy course through me in powerful waves. I felt alive for the first time in forever.

  “This feels so good.” His thumb brushed along my cheek and stopped when it reached the corner of my mouth. His rough skin felt smooth against my soft cheek, complimenting each other perfectly.

  It did feel good—and that alarmed me.

  “I could do this for the rest of the night…and never get tired of it.” His lips hovered near mine but didn’t move any closer. He kept his word to me even though it was obvious he didn’t want to.

  But this felt more intimate than any kiss we could have.

  He held me just like that forever. Half an hour passed within the blink of an eye, and we continued to stand outside my apartment door without moving. My hand glided up his chest, feeling the hard muscle underneath his collared shirt. When they wrapped around his neck I felt my body have a small explosion. His skin was hot to the touch, and it burned me slightly.

  I’d never felt such strength under my fingertips. He was solid, chiseled and hard like marble. When I touched him he didn’t feel like a man, but a statue. My fingers clung to his skin because they never wanted to let go.

  “I feel it again…that sensation.”

  I knew exactly what he was talking about. It was the same feeling I got when I shook his hand for the first time. It wasn’t physical lust or infatuation. It was something else entirely. An invisible force was binding us together, getting us to grip each other so tightly that our knuckles turned white.

  “I know you feel it too.”

  I knew exactly what he was referring to, and while the sensation made me higher than a kite it also broke me. Even if these feelings were true and there was something here, nothing could come of it. After the things I’d experienced, he would never want me—not if he knew the truth. And I couldn’t trust him anyway—not completely. I was damaged, broken beyond repair, and he deserved something better than that.

  It took all my strength to pull away, and somehow I managed it. “I should get going…it’s getting late.”

  His hands released me, but they were tense like they didn’t want to let me go. The disappointment in his eyes was heartbreaking. It shattered me with just a glimpse.

  “Thank you for dinner. Good night.” I got the door unlocked and prepared to dash inside.

  “I want to take you out this weekend. I have the perfect place in mind.”

  “I’m sorry, Kyle.” I didn’t have the strength to say anything else. Turning him down was already difficult enough.

  “Don’t do that,” he whispered. “Don’t push me away.”

  If I didn’t keep a firm hand I would get sucked in all over again. “I went on a date with you. I kept up my end of the bargain. Now you need to keep up yours.” He agreed to leave me in peace if I gave him one date. Now that the exchange had been completed he needed to leave me alone. I knew this was how things would end between us, but I hadn’t anticipated how much it would hurt.

  Because I did like him.

  Kyle pressed his lips tightly together in irritation then he ran his fingers through his hair, trying to think of something to say to change the outcome. “Rose…I know you feel the same way.”

  It didn’t matter if I felt the same way. “ Good bye, Kyle.” I walked inside and began to shut the door.

  He lodged his foot in the crevasse. “I’m not asking questions you don’t want to answer. But I’m telling you I’m nothing like the men you’ve encountered. I’ll never hurt you or cause you any kind of pain. I’m a good man. I promise.”

  I believed him. But that wasn’t enough. “I know you’re a good person, Kyle. I can tell.”

  ‘Then go out with me again.”

  “It’s more complicated than that. What we had was fun while it lasted but we need to move on.”

  “I don’t want to move on.”

  I waited for him to remove his foot. “You promised me you would back off.”

  He sighed like he hated himself for making that promise to begin with.

  “Spend your energy on a woman who deserves you—and appreciates you.”

  “I would—if there was someone else I actually wanted.”

  I gripped the door and waited for him to move his foot. Every second this continued, the more painful it became. He was dragging it out, making it more unbearable. “Just let it go.”

  He stared at the gr
ound for several heartbeats before he finally pulled his foot back. The pain weighed heavily in his eyes. He was searching for a loophole, anything to change the situation.

  “I’m sorry.”

  He wouldn’t look at me again, too disappointed to meet my gaze. “I am too.”

  I slowly shut the door and pressed my body against it, feeling the crippling pain wash over me. Kyle was the first man I felt something for. Over the past few years I didn’t think I was capable of feeling anything because I was so numb. But then he appeared and brought me back to life.

  But I couldn’t keep him.

  Disappointment

  Kyle

  All the motivation and drive that once burned inside me had disappeared. I didn’t care about anything anymore. My body went through the motions of every day life, but my mind wasn’t in it.

  I sat at my desk for nearly an hour and stared out my window, thinking of my date with Rose. Everything went according to plan, with the exception of her meltdown. We had a great dinner and got dessert in the park. She allowed me to touch her hand, and she even showed enthusiasm for it.

  And that hug.

  The affection was PG but it felt more like Mature. Feeling her body against mine gave me the greatest high I’ve ever felt in my life. Having her that close to me brought me a strange sense of peace. I didn’t feel the anguish from losing my father and my sister. It was like those travesties never happened. Being in her arms felt like home.

  I knew she felt the same way, the strong connection between our bodies that made us melt into each other. My fingers burned from touching her bare skin. When they reached her hair I stopped breathing altogether.

  It was the most incredible feeling in the world.

  But she didn’t want to see me again.

  She closed the door in my face and walked away. She didn’t give me another chance or another date. For her, that was the end. I promised I’d leave her alone after the first date, but I didn’t expect her to walk away.

  I thought she’d want to see me again.

  It blew up in my face and there wasn’t a single thing I could do about it. Any logical person would tell me to throw in the towel. If I had to work this hard to get her to notice me, then she wasn’t worth it. I was a good guy, respectful and polite. I always did the right thing in any given situation, and my heart was too big for my own body.

  But she didn’t see that.

  I needed to move on and forget about this woman. I needed to find someone who cared for me with the same intensity I cared for them. I deserved a happily ever after, to find the woman of my dreams that would bring me nothing but happiness.

  But I still wanted her.

  And I knew I would always want her.

  Mark walked inside with a folder tucked under his arm. He didn’t knock or give my assistant the opportunity to warn me. The redness of his eyes displayed his exhaustion, and the grim look on his lips showed his irritation.

  “One of those days, huh?”

  “No.” He plopped down into the chair. “It’s worse than one of those days. Shit, it’s the worst day of my career.”

  Did he lose another case? I told him to take a break when the last one didn’t end in his favor. “What’s up, man?”

  He tossed the folder on my desk. “I had a client a few years ago that was sexually assaulted and raped by a group of guys. Only one of them was identified and taken to trial. Despite all the evidence I had, most of it was circumstantial, and I lost the case.”

  Why was he bringing this up now?

  “It was one of those cases that kept me up every single night. I didn’t get justice for my client, and that asshole walked free. I knew he was still out there, possibly doing the same thing to some other poor girl. Losing that case killed me.”

  “Like I said, you can’t win them all.”

  “Well, I should have won that one. If I had, this wouldn’t have happened.”

  “What wouldn’t have happened?”

  He glanced at the folder on my desk. “It’s the same guy and the same crime—but a different client.”

  My blood turned ice-cold. My lungs stopped working altogether—and so did my heart. “Fuck.”

  He stared at the ground, one hand covering the left side of his face. “If I won that case this wouldn’t be happening. Now I have another woman with nearly the exact same story. Because of my inadequacy, this happened again.”

  “That’s not true, Mark.”

  “Yes, it is,” he snapped. “I can’t lose this case. I just can’t.”

  It was easy to get sucked into these situations because we were so passionate about them. All the lawyers in my office were good people, and they cared about doing the right thing for our clients. Sometimes we got our hearts broken in the process. “You won’t.”

  “I better not.”

  I opened the folder and browsed through the pages. There were two case files inside, one of the first victim and one of the second. “What are the similarities?”

  “Both were bind dates from a dating app. When they got there, it was a trap.” That was all he said because he didn’t need to say anything more. “This client is still in shock over it. I can’t get her to talk. The only information I have is from the police report.”

  I couldn’t blame the woman for shutting down. It was painful enough to go through the trauma. And then to be questioned about it…was difficult. “Give her time.”

  “I can’t give her too much—if she wants me to win.”

  The girl was a few years younger than I was—brunette and attractive. Her picture showed the bruises and scars on her face. The rape kit also showed five different deposits of semen—with different DNA.

  My blood boiled.

  “The guy is pretty good-looking. He sets up these dates with cute girls and then charges money for four guys to join in at the end of the night. Shit like this makes me never want to have a daughter.”

  “It makes me want to commit murder.” I wasn’t joking. If I could put a bullet in his brain and get away with it, I would. I had no morality when it came to this sort of thing. If he was in the ground he couldn’t do this to anyone else. And that’s all that mattered.

  I flipped threw her case file until I reached the second one. It belonged to the previous girl, the first victim of the assault. In this instance, there were only two but I was sure there was more. The other victims probably never got the police involved. No woman wanted to tell the world they’d been raped.

  I read through the file and disposition, seeing exactly what happened in that case. Mark did everything he could to get a guilty verdict, but the jury still claimed him as innocent. I noticed there were more men than women on the jury, and that made me sick inside.

  I reached the photos in the rear and skimmed through them, seeing the bruises and abrasions on the victim’s arms and legs. When I reached the head shot, I froze in place.

  The woman had brown hair with hazel eyes. Her face was red and purple from the swelling. There was a cut on her bottom lip, and her left eye was swollen shut. Despite all the changes, I recognized her.

  It was Rose.

  “Fuck.” I rose to my feet, feeling the paper shake in my hands. There was no mistake that it was she. I’d recognize those full lips and green eyes anywhere. I’d been angry a lot in my life, but I never felt this kind of rage. All I saw was red and I wanted to murder the man who did this to her. Not even murder, I wanted to torture him. I wanted to inflict so much pain he begged for death.

  And even then I wouldn’t give it to him.

  “Kyle? Everything alright?”

  The paper slipped through my fingers because I couldn’t look at it anymore. I couldn’t handle the unbearable pain that ripped apart every organ in my body. To my surprise, my eyes were wet with tears. But they weren’t tears of sadness.

  They were tears of rage.

  “Kyle?” Mark watched me with concerned eyes.

  “I’m taking this case.” I snatched the picture
from the floor and shoved it into the folder.

  “What? I already worked on the last one. I know more—”

  “It’s mine.” I stared him down, threatening him with my eyes. “End of discussion.” I would put this asshole away for the rest of his life. I couldn’t afford to lose this case. And frankly, I was the best lawyer in the building. I would use every weapon at my disposal to get justice for this woman—and Rose. I didn’t trust anyone else to do it.

  I. Will. Win.

  ***

  Now that I knew the truth everything made sense.

  Rose’s frightful behavior, her sudden outbursts, and her inability to trust me weren’t from paranoia. She had a concrete reason to feel that way. Frankly, I was surprised she went out with me at all.

  Knowing she’d been raped broke my heart—literally. Every time I took a breath it caused me pain. I couldn’t think straight because everything hurt so much. She was a beautiful person who didn’t deserve to go through that—no woman did.

  But it didn’t change the way I felt about her.

  I still saw her in the exact same light. To me, she was still beautiful and perfect. Her lips still drove me wild, and the brightness of her eyes made me more obsessed. I still longed to hold her, to kiss her—to be with her.

  Nothing had changed.

  Now I couldn’t give up—not when I knew the truth. She did feel something for me, the exact same thing I felt for her. Our emotions were real and true. We could have something incredible if we gave it a chance.

  But how did I make that happen?

  Should I tell her I knew the truth? Or would that make her push me away? If she knew I knew, would she no longer be able to look me in the eye? Would the shame consume her until she couldn’t look past it?

  Should I keep it to myself?

  I decided to keep the truth a secret—for now. She didn’t want me to know the truth to begin with, so acting ignorant would give her the best comfort. She wouldn’t think about it when she was with me, and maybe she would stop thinking about it altogether if I waited long enough.

  I had to see her but didn’t have a plan to make that happen. I could go to her office but she probably wouldn’t leave because she was working. I couldn’t show up at her apartment because that would make her uncomfortable.