by E. L. Todd
“It’s pretty exciting.” Her happiness was infectious. I liked this side of her—the happy and carefree one. If she relaxed more often every day could be this way. “Want something to eat? A beer?”
“A beer and a chili dog would be perfect.”
“Great. I’ll be right back.” I left the chair and scooted down the aisle.
She opened her fanny pack to get some cash.
“I’m not taking anything from you.” I kept walking so I wouldn’t have to listen to her protests. She could label it however she wanted, but as far as I was concerned this was a date.
***
The Warriors won—which was what I was hoping for.
“I can’t believe that last shot Curry made.” She walked beside me down the sidewalk. We would have gotten a cab on the way home but the streets were congested with cars. Everyone was trying to get out at the same time. “The ball just flies in there like a magnet.”
“It’s pretty incredible.”
“And it’s even more crazy that he does it at the last minute. He literally has one second to prepare for the shot. I swear, it’s all muscle memory with him. His body just knows how to play the game. Incredible.”
All of people passed us on the sidewalk, talking loudly and drunk from the game. I stuck close to her side so no one would bump into her by mistake. I was listening to every word she said but I was also focused on getting us out of there. “His dad was a basketball player. He probably learned a lot from him.”
“I wish I was good at sports.”
“Have you ever tried?”
She shrugged. “Not really. I did dance and ballet, but that’s about it.”
“You’re a dancer?” I could picture her moving across the floor gracefully, wearing tights and a tutu.
“Was a dancer,” she corrected. “I haven’t done it since high school.”
“That’s still cool.”
“I guess. It’s relaxing and strenuous, but not as interesting as watching the NBA.”
“Well, you’re comparing apples and oranges.” The group we were walking with got into an argument. It wasn’t clear what they were saying, and within seconds they started pushing and shoving each other, F bombs dropping left and right. A beer bottle was thrown to the concrete where it shattered into shards. Then one of the guys grabbed a piece of glass, prepared to stab the other.
Shit.
I placed my body between Rose and the commotion, and my hand automatically wrapped around her waist. I’d never touched her that way before but I didn’t think twice about it now. I guided her from the commotion, keeping her pressed against me.
She looked over my shoulder as we walked, seeing the violence that started. More men got involved into the fight, and soon the radius increased.
“We’re fine.” I kept my voice calm even though I didn’t feel calm. I had to get her out of there before she had a meltdown. The evening went so well and I couldn’t afford a setback. I wanted to put our relationship in cruise control and just enjoy it.
I took her down a different route just to avoid the fight, and after a few blocks we were clear of the calamity.
“What were they fighting about?”
“I don’t have a clue.” My arm remained around her waist, and I loved the curve of her hips in my grasp. Even though we were just in danger, it was hard to stay concerned when my hands were on her.
“Where are we now?” She searched for a street name.
“I know where we are. We’ll just take the long way back to your place.”
“At least you know where we’re going.”
After a long walk we reached her apartment building. A few people were talking in the lobby, wearing Mets gear. We quickly walked passed them and took the elevator to her floor.
When the doors opened the silence descended. My ears appreciated the break. For the last hour they were ringing from all the screaming at the courtside. We walked to her door.
She got the door unlocked. “Thanks for taking me to the game. I had a great time. Actually, I had the time of my life.”
My lips automatically rose into a smile. “No problem. I loved spending the evening with you.”
She eyed her open door then looked at me. “There are so many drunk weirdoes out right now. Why don’t you hang out here for a bit until they go home?”
I could manage on my own. I wasn’t afraid of a group of drunken men. The only time I was scared was when I had a lady with me. But I wasn’t going to pass up on the offer. “Thanks. I appreciate that.”
We walked inside and she turned on the lights to her apartment. The city glowed outside the window, and far into the distance the park was visible. The city was a big place, but it was arranged to maximize space and people. Even if you lived two blocks from someone, there were about a hundred thousand people between you.
“I wonder if we were on TV.”
“I wouldn’t be surprised if we were.”
She opened the fridge. “Do you want anything?”
“Water, please.”
She grabbed a bottle and tossed it to me. “Sometimes I wish I lived in California so I could watch them play more often.”
“The west coast isn’t my place.” I took a long drink before I placed the bottle on the kitchen island.
“Why not?”
“Their oceans are so cold. Have you ever been?”
“Actually, I haven’t.”
“I’ve been for the firm, and the water is barely above freezing. It’s nothing like the water we have here.”
“Surely, there must be something you like about California.”
“Not really,” I said. “The traffic is a nightmare. That’s all I ever focus on.” I walked to the couch and tried to think of my next move. My arm wrapped around her waist earlier so would she let me hold her hand? Or was I pushing my luck?
She sat on the opposite end of the couch, exactly where she’d been sitting last time. She had a beer in her hands and she took a drink before she turned on the TV. “What should we watch?”
“Well, I know our favorite show isn’t on.”
She turned on TBS. “The Mummy. Dude, this movie is always on.”
My head snapped in her direction. “Did you just call me dude?” My grin wouldn’t disappear. When she was herself she said the cutest things. She didn’t think before she spoke. Words just came out.
“Well, yeah. But it’s true. This movie is always on TV.”
“Because it’s awesome. It’s one of those movies you can just watch—even if it’s smack in the middle.”
“I know.” She set the remote on the coffee table. “I guess we’re going to watch it then.”
“Fine by me.”
She grabbed a blanket from the bin beside the couch and pulled it over her legs. She got settled into the couch and watched the TV, her eyes growing heavy.
Instead of watching the movie I watched her. My head faced forward and my eyes wondered in her direction. She was the most fascinating creature I’d ever met, and I loved staring at her like this. I wish I could do it when she was aware of it—that would be even better.
***
An hour into the movie, she was fast asleep.
Her cap had loosened and fell off, and the blanket was pulled tightly against her chest. Her mouth was slightly parted as she breathed. If she were comfortable enough to fall asleep with me in the room, then she didn’t see me as a threat whatsoever.
And that made me happy.
She couldn’t sleep there all night, so I turned off the TV and scooped her into my arms. She was lighter than I expected, and I loved holding her that way. She fit perfectly against my chest, like she was meant to be there.
I carried her into her bedroom and gently set her on the bed. Her room was small, with one queen size bed and a white dresser. I removed her shoes but kept everything else in place. Then I pulled back the blankets and tucked her in. She didn’t stir once—probably because she was exhausted.
Since she was
fast asleep I took advantage of her vulnerability and stared at her. Her hair came loose from her ponytail and the strands fell softly around her face. When she was asleep she looked peaceful—like she didn’t have a care in the world.
She was beautiful.
My lips burned as I watched her, desperate for a piece of her. I could take this as slow as she wanted, but I was a man and I had needs. All I really wanted was some affection—mainly a kiss.
I let my desire get the best of me and I leaned over the bed. My lips traveled directly to her forehead, and once they were there I gave her a long kiss. My mouth felt right. Her skin was warm and she smelled like vanilla. I wanted to stay there forever, to enjoy the sudden ecstasy that rocked through me.
But I knew I’d overstayed my welcome.
I pulled away and stared at her for another moment, seeing her small chest rise and fell with deep breaths. If I could stay there forever I would, but I knew I couldn’t.
I walked out of her bedroom and shut the door behind me. When she woke up she would wonder how she got into bed. Hopefully, she wouldn’t freak out that I went into her bedroom. Obviously, nothing happened so she had no reason to be scared.
Since I didn’t want to leave the door unlocked I lay on the couch and got comfortable with the blanket she left behind. I kicked off my shoes and tried to fit my long body across the cushions but couldn’t completely fit. My feet hung off the edge while the TV played in the background.
I could lock the door and slide the keys underneath but I didn’t want to. I was looking for an excuse to stay there, to be there when she woke up the next morning. I was looking for any reason to be with her.
Any reason at all.
Morning
Rose
When I woke up I realized I was in my bed. I didn’t walk there myself, and I certainly didn’t take my shoes off. I was carried—by strong arms. The previous night returned to my thoughts and I remembered the last thing I did before I fell asleep. I was sitting on the couch—with Kyle.
I pulled the blankets down and realized I was wearing the same clothes as the night before. My Warriors jersey was still on, and my jeans were on as well. My baseball cap had fallen off at some point.
The anxiety passed when I realized there was nothing to be upset about.
I was fine.
Before walking into the living room I went into the bathroom to check my appearance. Just as I feared, my make up was a mess. The mascara was bleeding all over the place, and my foundation was pretty much gone. No make up was better than this clown stuff.
I washed my face and patted it dry before I walked into the living room.
Too many sizes too big, Kyle lay on the couch with his feet dangling over the edge. He was an enormous man in comparison to the small furniture. He probably got a terrible night of sleep. One arm was draped behind his head while the other rested on his chest.
It was the first time I slept alone with a man. We were in different places, but we were still in the same apartment. I never meant for it to happen, but it came to pass anyway.
But nothing happened.
I walked to the kitchen and got a glass of water, trying to be as quiet as possible.
Kyle must have heard the refrigerator door because he sighed then sat up. He rubbed the sleep from his eye then fingered his hair. For just waking up he looked undeniably handsome. The sleepy look in his eyes was somehow sexy. Not too many people could pull that off. “Good morning.” He eyed me hesitantly, like he expected me to do something upsetting.
“Morning.” I put on a pot of coffee. “Would you like some?”
His chest automatically deflated with ease. “Sure.”
I grabbed two mugs and listened to the pot make its usual noises. The water boiled from within, making a loud rumbling noise.
Kyle leaned against the couch and continued to rub his eyes like he couldn’t wake up. “How’d you sleep?”
“Good. You?”
He eyed the couch with a sarcastic grin. “It’s not quite as comfortable as my bed…”
“Why didn’t you go home?”
“I didn’t want to leave the door unlocked all night. And I didn’t want to wake you up.” He rose to his feet then brushed the wrinkles out of his clothes.
I watched the way his shirt fit to his body. It wasn’t tight, but it fit snugly against his chest. The definition in his torso was obvious even when he was clothed. I could see the distant grooves of his pectoral muscles. His arms were just as strong, as if he threw tree logs around for sports. “How do you take your coffee?”
“Black.”
I poured two mugs and handed one over.
He sat at the kitchen table and drank it slowly, the steam rising from the surface and making the apartment smell like morning.
I sat next to him and added a splash of cream and sugar. At one point in time I didn’t trust Kyle at all. When he took me to his apartment building I jumped to the worst possible conclusion. And when he took me to his beach house I made him leave because I couldn’t stand the idea of being alone with him. But now I made it through the night with him just in the other room. Was I getting better? Or was Kyle just an exception?
“Do you have any plans today?”
“No. I need to wash my bedding since I slept in the same clothes I wore to the arena.” I cringed in disgust. I wasn’t the most hygienic person, but I was particular about the bed I slept in.
He chuckled. “Yeah, that’s true. You have a washer and dryer in here?”
“Yeah. Down the hall.”
“That’s convenient.”
“Do you?”
“Yeah. But I know how rare that is.” He drank his coffee until the glass was empty. “Thanks for the fuel.”
“No problem.”
He placed the empty cup in the sink then gathered his phone and wallet from the table. “Well, I should get going. I’m in desperate need of a shower.”
The disappointment washed over me and I wasn’t sure where it came from. I hadn’t expected him to stay but I didn’t expect to depart right away. Normally, I couldn’t wait to get away from any man I was near, but now I found myself dreading his absence.
It was a strange feeling.
Nothing could ever happen between us because I simply wasn’t capable of it, but I loved being with him. He made me feel comfortable without even trying. He always made me laugh, and he even made me feel safe.
He was my best friend.
“Okay.” I did my best to keep the sadness out of my voice but some of it slipped through. Without making eye contact I walked to the door and acted natural, bottling up the letdown. I was beginning to scare myself, disliking this attachment that came out of nowhere.
Kyle met me at the door, but instead of walking out he looked into my face. That usual intensity was there. He stared me down like he had every right to do so. The look no longer haunted me. Now it was so common that it was strange when he didn’t do it. My mouth went dry like it always did, but now it felt right. My breathing picked up and I suspected he noticed. “Unless you want me to stay.”
I held his gaze but didn’t respond.
“Because I will if that’s what you want.”
He had the unnatural ability to pick up on my mood, to read my thoughts even when I wasn’t sure what I was thinking. He knew things about me without asking any questions, and he seemed to understand me even though he knew me for a short amount of time.
“I want to stay too—but only if you want me here.”
I couldn’t bring myself to say the words out loud. A part of me was ashamed of my answer. I was beginning to need him, to want him beside me all the time. If he knew the truth about the things that happened to me he wouldn’t want me. I was wasting his time and his hopes but I couldn’t stop myself. It was nice to feel at ease around someone, to trust someone like this. “I want you to stay.”
***
“What do you think this one is about?” Kyle stood beside me in front of the painting.
We spent the afternoon at The Museum of Natural History, something neither one of us had ever done despite living in the city our whole lives.
“Uh…” I tilted my head to the side like that would help. Getting a different angle could make a difference. But the colors and images still blurred together without significance. “Herding cattle…?”
He chuckled. “I guess that could be it.”
“What do you think it is?”
“Your guess is as good as mine,” he said with a shrug. “I think they’re firefighters trying to spray down wild animals with firehouses.”
I definitely didn’t see that. “That’s an idea…”
“Too bad they don’t have the answers posted on the wall.”
“That would make it too easy.”
We moved onto to the other paintings in the museum, looking at the different artwork that didn’t make sense to either one of us. Some of the portraits of significant figures were beautiful, and a lot of the handmade pottery was fascinating as well. But neither one of us understood abstract art.
“What do you think this is?” Kyle stood in front of a display of metal balls. They were dispersed around a metal base, looking random and strange.
I eyed the title. “The Tale of Time.”
“Well…that title didn’t help.”
It seemed like a random creation, with different balls hovering around. None of it made any sense.
“I could totally be an artist,” he said. “I could throw my garbage together and auction it off to the highest bidder.”
“It seems that way, huh?”
He walked around the display, looking at it more carefully. “Do you think they are planets?”
“Could be.” They were all spherical spheres. “But it can’t be our universe. They aren’t placed correctly.”
“No…” He leaned forward to get a better look. “This one is Saturn—look at the rings. That’s Jupiter because of the granular surface. But you’re right, they aren’t in the correct locations.”
I was still lost.
He considered the situation like a mathematical problem. He rubbed his chin as he remained deep in thought. Then when he had the answer he snapped his fingers. “It’s the beginning of time, when the planets exploded in the Big Bang and stretched outward across the universe.”